Volume 6 2014 Chapter 1028: Unforgettable
The extreme cognition and the resulting self-attacking thoughts became increasingly stronger, churning through the boy's mind.
Anything could make him feel negatively.
The aggressiveness and unreasonable dominance that Yi Haoyan showed in front of Choi Jinri and Victoria Song was actually a stress response of the self-protection instinct in the face of negative feelings.
The more you lack something, the more you want to show it.
Truly strong people are often peaceful and stable.
His aggressive behavior actually reflects his inner anxiety and fear.
Moreover, this stress response cannot reduce the negative emotions in the heart, because the root cause of negative emotions does not come from external stimulation, but from the wrong cognition and thinking mode in the heart.
Simply solving external problems will not fundamentally end the pain.
Losing his lover and friends will only intensify his internal friction, making him unable to extricate himself.
A typical case of drinking poison to quench thirst, a vicious cycle.
Emotions are originally irrational products that come and go quickly. However, wrong cognition and thinking patterns will continuously generate negative emotions, trapping people in the abyss of depression and unable to extricate themselves.
Long-term negative emotions can lead to physiological changes in brain function.
Simply put, symptoms will appear.
At first, the situation was not serious.
The first manifestation is early awakening.
Yi Haoyan is used to going to bed early every day, and he can still sleep now, but he always wakes up suddenly in the middle of the night. This kind of waking up is for no particular reason, not because of dreaming or being woken up, he just wakes up suddenly while sleeping.
I wake up around three in the morning, facing the pitch-black world, and then all kinds of thoughts start to grow from my mind like weeds. I have to wait a long time before I can fall asleep again, and I feel tired after waking up.
This situation usually doesn't show any signs of happening, but it's very torturous.
Very tired but not getting enough rest. The negative emotions in his mind were like a never-ending storm, continuously consuming the boy's vitality.
Secondly, there is a feeling of powerlessness.
The whole person feels listless and without energy, although on the surface there seems to be no problem with daily activities, eating and resting normally, and there is nothing unusual in speaking and doing things. Apart from looking a little quieter, he is no different from an ordinary person.
But Yi Haoyan himself knew that he was unhappy and did not feel any joy or pleasure.
There is always a feeling of uneasiness and anxiety lingering in my mind.
He didn't want to give up on Enfei's matter, but he had no way to solve it. This matter became a curse that troubled the young man and kept haunting him.
Lingering.
In the past, Yi Haoyan felt that he was not extremely addicted to it. Although they met often, they were not inseparable every day.
On the contrary, because Enfei had to practice at that time and had a schedule as a dancing partner later, and Yi Haoyan himself had a lot of things to do, the two of them didn't meet very often.
Yi Haoyan used to think that this kind of relationship was very suitable, as it had the sweetness of love while also allowing him to have time for himself.
But now, after actually losing it, he realized that he was not as free and easy as he had imagined.
I can neither accept the breakup nor forget the past.
He simply can't let go.
The boy has been in a bad mood these days. In order to get rid of the trouble of broken heart, he feels that he needs to divert his attention and stop thinking about it.
Staying alone at home, he felt like he was frozen in time. Yi Haoyan thought that maybe going out for a walk would help.
Perhaps only by walking on the street and joining the crowd will I feel less lonely.
…
…
afternoon.
Myeongdong.
A bustling commercial district.
Tourists and young people filled the streets, making it look lively.
Gao Mian Yao took off his black suit and changed into casual clothes as he strolled along the street with Yi Haoyan. The two chatted from time to time and seemed to be in a very relaxed state.
"This place is more lively than I thought. I used to come here only on weekends or at night. I didn't know it would be so crowded on weekdays."
"I haven't been to this kind of place that young people like very often. This time, it's also thanks to the young master's blessing."
The old and the young seem to be in a harmonious atmosphere. The sun is shining, the weather is good, and everything seems to be going well.
Just looks good.
Although he tried hard to look relaxed, looking at the bustling crowd, Yi Haoyan still felt that he was alone.
He was like a drop of oil in water, completely out of tune with the bustling crowd.
I haven't had this feeling for many years... It seems that I only had this feeling when I first came to Korea and before I took the medicine...
Walking on the busy streets and listening to the noisy sounds, the boy did not feel happy. Instead, he felt more lonely.
Those people... those bustles... those joyful or lively feelings... they have nothing to do with him...
This feeling is powerless.
Not only was he unable to receive positive emotions, but even the negative emotions seemed to have weakened a lot. Yi Haoyan felt like an insulator, blocking out all feelings.
It was as if an invisible cover was put on.
Anyway.
Now that we are here, we have to do something. Uncle, maybe you have never tried the snacks here?
Yi Haoyan thought so and prepared to take Driver Gao to find a place to eat.
As he walked, he saw a sign.
Yi Haoyan suddenly froze in place, as if he was nailed to the spot.
It was a small dessert shop called "Mousse".
The memories that had been deliberately forgotten poured out at this moment like a flood, completely drowning the unprepared boy.
He has been here.
When I first met Enfei, we came here on a date.
At that time, he didn't know her name was Kwon Eun-bi. She was "Rabbit", a little trainee from an ordinary family.
She also didn't know that his name was Yi Haoyan, and he was the eldest son of a wealthy family. At that time, he was "Pudding".
This moment is just like that moment.
The memories of the past, traveling through five years of time and space, hit the depressed teenager hard in this noisy and lonely scene.
Memories are a wonderful thing.
Some of the memories from five years ago have been selectively forgotten, but others are deeply remembered.
Yi Haoyan no longer remembers what he said to Enfei at that time, but the wonderful feeling at that time was as clear as if it had just happened, and it emerged so vividly from his heart.
The tip of my nose seemed to smell the faint fragrance of the girl again, and my tongue seemed to still have the sweet taste of shaved ice. My brain also remembered the eagerness to meet her, and even the air was filled with restless and nervous surprise.
When we met, it felt like I was seeing spring. It was bright, lively, and full of energy, as if the whole world was full of beauty and vitality.
Everything has returned to the past.
only.
That familiar figure is no longer in front of me.
Five years have passed, and the store still seems to be the same store. There are still groups of student couples and friends eating here. Their smiles are so simple and pure, representing all the best things about this age.
But people are no longer the same people they used to be, and many things can no longer be undone.
Yi Haoyan looked at everything in front of him, at the boys and girls in the store who were about the same age as he was back then, as if he saw Yi Haoyan and Quan Eunfei back then.
The picture in my eyes suddenly began to blur.
The noise in my ears seemed to be covered by a layer of film, and I couldn't hear it clearly.
The originally dull mood like stagnant water began to surge uncontrollably.
The boy began to take deep breaths uncontrollably, trying his best to control his body's trembling.
He opened his mouth and breathed deeply , as if he was short of oxygen.
"Master, what's wrong with you?"
Khmer Yao noticed that Yi Haoyan was abnormal.
"Ah... I, I remember this place... I, I've been here with Enfei before..."
As he spoke, Yi Haoyan's face was already in tears.
He bent over, trying to get himself under control.
But still, he was defeated in the surging emotions.
Some things can't be forgotten or cut off.
…
