Volume 10 Bugs Chapter 5: Representative Products of Shanzhai Factory Brands
I am in deep repentance.
I had only heard a few bits and pieces about GM from my friends who were involved in the field, but I blindly and arbitrarily believed that they were just a group of ordinary nobles with amazing power, and I secretly insulted and ridiculed them in my mind more than once.
The Supreme God Darmos is my witness, I really didn't know that GM was another name for God. If I knew, with my pious heart, I would never commit such a blasphemous sin.
The bad thing is that the all-knowing and all-powerful Supreme God is probably one of the GMs, and he probably knows all my complaints about the GM. Although I didn't do it on purpose, if he suddenly gets upset and is very dissatisfied with my words and actions, then...
I stole a glance at the descending deity - GM007 Fallen Angel with Broken Wings - with trepidation, fearing that I would see an angry look of condemnation on his face.
The fallen angel was looking at Feiyin with a kind face and a smile, only occasionally glancing at me out of the corner of his eyes.
Shh...it seems that the situation is not that bad. Maybe the gods are too busy to care about my slight disrespect to them. I breathed a sigh of relief and comforted myself.
No, it can't be like this! Suddenly, my mind suddenly opened up, and I immediately became alert: How could the omniscient and omnipotent gods not know the despicable thoughts of a mere mortal like me? Could it be that there is anything we can do that can be hidden from the power of the gods? The gods would definitely not be unaware of my little complacency.
So what is he doing? Why doesn't he expose me? Criticize me? Punish me? Use his omnipresent divine power to give me the punishment I deserve as a sinner? Why does he just stand aside and pretend to be nice, completely ignoring me?
There is only one answer: He is waiting, waiting for me to repent, waiting for me to confess. He gave me a chance to repent, so that I, a sinner, could grasp a life-saving straw in the boundless sea of sin.
How merciful and great! The heart of God is indeed as vast as the sky and the sea...
I was deeply moved once again!
I stood aside silently, gazing at the god in front of me with admiration and gratitude: without the wings, he would be a plain-looking, average-sized human, with brown skin, black eyes, and two sparse eyebrows drooping listlessly on his forehead, making him look weak and tired. I bet that if he hid his wings and walked into the crowd, he would disappear in the blink of an eye, just like an ordinary passerby. This is the appearance of a god, revealing a profound truth in the ordinary.
Although he was plain-looking, his dress followed a certain sacred and profound aesthetic taste that I could not understand:
On his feet he wore a pair of simple slippers—oh, allow me to sigh, what a simple god—with two sharp and flowing white hook patterns painted on both sides of the soles.
Although it was just a pair of soles and two wide straps, I still couldn't tell what material the shoes were made of. They looked as crystal-like, as light as feathers, and as soft as a ball of cotton. My knowledge of alchemy was completely useless under the infinite creative power of God. I deeply realized that in front of God, I was just like an ordinary ant, humble and ignorant.
"A pair of numbered slippers, with microfiber uppers, full-length air cushions, and wear-resistant soles, giving you the wonderful experience of walking on clouds. Movement speed +5000, defense +2400, health +1600. The wearer can increase movement speed by 2000%, and can use instant teleportation skills unlimitedly."
The fallen angel was wearing a pair of colorful shorts with the legs just reaching below his knees, which left his holy calves exposed to the rude gazes of us mortals - well, did I ever say that the hair on the legs of the Lord God was erect and hard, with an awe-inspiring majesty?
The color of this pair of shorts is so fancy that it looks like a rag used by a painter to clean his palette. In other words, every color I have ever seen in this world can be found on this pair of shorts. When the noble fallen angel walked, I seemed to see a rainbow moving in front of me.
"The Neck King shorts are the second Chinese brand selected by the Louvre. They are designed by masters and have a spectrum of creativity. They make your lower body feel the sunshine at all times. Strength +3000, defense +2600, life +5000, and can resist all abnormal states such as freezing, confusion, petrification, sleep, poisoning, etc."
If I couldn't tell the texture of his shoes and shorts, the god's top was even more plain and sad - he was wearing a piece of pure cashmere. I was not unfamiliar with cashmere, as I often used this common animal fiber when I was doing alchemy experiments.
This one has no buttons in the front, and should be put on from the head like a heavy armor - I guess this symbolizes God's warmth and tolerance of the world; its sleeves are very long, almost covering the fallen angel's fingers - I guess this symbolizes that God protects people who work hard with their hands; its hem is very short, revealing the fallen angel's navel - I guess this means that God encourages us to stand up and endure the hardships of life; its left side is black and the right side is white - I guess this means that God's majesty covers the earth day and night; it has two cross patterns on it - I guess...
In short, I firmly believe that God's attire is never crude or casual. Every detail of it has infinite meaning and connotation, which is enough for ordinary and foolish people like us to understand and feel it with all our heart.
"Hengquanxiang wool sweater - Niu Niu Niu! An internationally renowned brand that implements avant-garde advertising art and warms your winter with futuristic symbols full of black humor. Strength +2300, Defense +8000, Agility +1500, Health +1400, the wearer can use the Holy Light Protection skill without restrictions."
Looking further up, there is a red rope tied around the neck of the God of Heaven - this is probably a sign that the gods are strict with themselves and reflect on themselves all the time.
"Silver Li Lai tie, the world of men, brings you charming masculine style. Wisdom +8000, Defense +1300, Life +3400, the wearer can use the Finger of Death skill without restrictions."
In addition to these, the great fallen angel with broken wings also wears some protective gear and decorations such as "Gucgi Men's Taste Felt Hat" and "Platinum Eight Hearts and Eight Arrows Psychic Diamond Ring". In his hand, he holds the magical weapon "iPhone Wireless Mobile Communication Receiver" that is powerful enough to destroy the world. He also has a "Forever 28-inch Bicycle stored in the magic space where he specially places his mounts, ready to set sail and charge at a speed faster than the speed of sound...
Well, let's re-examine this respected god: wearing matching slippers, leggings, neck shorts, Hengquanxiang wool sweater, Yinlilai tie around neck, Gucgi felt hat, eight hearts and eight arrows diamond rings on fingers, holding an iPhone mobile receiver, and a 28-inch two-wheeled magic chariot under his legs...
I must admit that I was quite uncomfortable with his outfit. He looked like a quail that had been half-plucked and had just been scalded by boiling water.
But at the same time, I also know that what I consider "ugly" is only based on the low aesthetic level of a mortal like me. The reason why we think it is ugly and messy is entirely because our interests are even more lowly. For those omniscient and omnipotent gods, perhaps only such a dress can truly conform to the truly noble and truly holy aesthetic taste.
In this outfit, the fallen angel perfectly displays the image of an elegant and pure god no matter where he is. Whether among humans, elves, minotaurs, dwarves, gnomes, or all races of the entire Falvi continent, a cool man like him will always be as bright and outstanding as a spark in the darkness, leading people's souls forward...
"Master GM, what are you wearing?" As expected, the solemn and dignified clothes of the Lord God greatly enhanced the sacred aura he exuded, and even the fearless Fei Yin was deeply impressed and shocked by him. She looked at him eagerly with respectful and worshipful eyes and exclaimed:
“…They are all masterpieces of famous domestic knockoff brands…”
The fallen angel with broken wings blushed slightly, lowered his head, and replied in a low voice with trembling lips:
"Well... well... our company is expanding its advertising business. Since GM's equipment has always attracted much attention, the naming rights for various equipment have been sold... so we..." He shrugged and looked down at his outfit helplessly. Perhaps because he felt that it was a loss of dignity for a god to answer a mortal's question so easily, the fallen angel coughed lightly and asked seriously:
"Where is the bug you mentioned?"
Feiyin's eyes rolled slyly: "I saw on the homepage that there are rewards for players reporting bugs? Um... what are the rewards? Can you tell me first?"
"According to Article 32 of the work manual, the first player to report a bug will definitely receive a reward. However, the content of the reward is not certain..." In response to Feiyin's almost rude questioning, our respected God showed enough patience, "... Generally speaking, the reward is based on the impact of the reported bug on the system. The more serious the bug, the richer the reward."
"Then can you tell me what kind of rewards there are?" Fei Yin had an innocent smile on her face, like a sweet and harmless girl - according to my understanding of the president, whenever she showed this expression , she must be planning blackmail in her mind.
"According to Article 54 of the work manual, the rewards given to players can only be selected from gold coins, point cards, and experience points..." The fallen angel replied seriously: "...What exactly is the bug you found?"
"Will you reward us with a powerful equipment, something like a divine weapon?" Fei Yin's eyes flashed with a pure and bright light in excitement, and she ignored the question of the Lord God.
"This... I'm sorry, there is no such thing. Bug fixing is to ensure the balance of the game. According to Article 79 of the work manual, we can't give players equipment that will affect the balance of the game..." The fallen angel preached patiently.
Suddenly, Fei Yin boldly grabbed the arm of the God, and shook it back and forth coquettishly , with a heartbreakingly pure and cute expression like a kitten in her eye sockets: "Can you give me one secretly... just one will do, I won't tell anyone, let's make a pinky promise..." As she said that, she stretched out the little finger of her right hand.
Being pulled by such a young girl, the fallen angel looked extremely embarrassed. He quickly broke free from Feiyin's pull: "Ahem...really, according to Article 120 of the work manual, I can't agree to such a request. You better tell me where the bug is quickly."
After confirming that the Lord God really couldn't give her a divine weapon, Fei Yin had to give up the idea and pouted in disappointment: "Hey, could it be that after we reported it to the company, you turned around and embezzled our reward? I have heard of such a thing."
"This kind of thing is absolutely impossible to happen. Our company has always been adhering to the corporate philosophy of serving players and giving back to society. We wholeheartedly protect the vital interests of players and gaming results, and we have a good reputation in the industry." The fallen angel hurriedly explained righteously.
Fei Yin curled her lips: "Humph, we said all the nice things before reporting the bug, but maybe they will kick us away and ignore us once they receive the bug. It's just like demolition, they said all the nice things before demolition, but after demolition, we can't get any help from heaven or earth, humph, all real estate developers are like this..."
The God muttered aggrievedly: "We are not real estate developers..."
"The principle is the same anyway..." Fei Yin squinted her eyes and looked at the fallen angel with distrust, "...Your words are so suspicious, I feel that my own interests are difficult to protect..."
The God who was accused of being "suspicious" looked embarrassed: "This is really impossible. According to Article 166 of the work manual, if you don't get the reward, you can directly call the customer service department to report it. The customer service department's number is on the homepage. My number is 007..." God pointed to the name above his head, "...You are welcome to supervise my work."
"Humph, what if you swallow half of our reward? We take the things but don't know how much to take. Wouldn't that make us suffer in silence?"
"Uh..." Perhaps our Lord God has never encountered such a unreasonable pagan. His thin face was flushed red, and he sounded a little crying when he spoke. "...I really won't do this. Article 172 of the work manual stipulates that the GM's ID number is locked, and it is not allowed to register another account to enter the Falvi Continent. What's the use of your reward?"
"Humph, I don't believe this. This is just like holding back on property sales. They say that the owner has to order the ID number for registration, but in fact, you can just spend some money to buy one from the migrant workers. You can buy a number for 15 yuan, and you can get one for free if you buy three..."
"We are not real estate developers!" The fallen angel corrected loudly. His face was red and his neck was thick, and he looked like he was on the verge of a mental breakdown. I was worried that he would blow this delicate little girl into pieces in a rage. But what was admirable was that he could tolerate the offense of this mortal and continued to explain to her - oh, what a broad mind he had...
"Okay, okay, okay, I'm afraid of you. Perhaps I can use the special provisions of Article 250 of the work manual. When special circumstances occur, maintaining the company's reputation and interests is the primary principle, and some special measures can be flexibly adopted..."
The number of clauses in the Gods' work manuals is really shocking. It is enough to make me sigh from the bottom of my heart that someone can recite all these clauses by heart. And he can also flexibly choose the applicable clauses according to different occasions. I am afraid that only the minds of gods can have such wisdom...
"...However, these materials are subject to confidentiality regulations. Only the three of you can know them. You must not tell anyone else..." He carefully reminded us. He looked at us expectantly and we nodded quickly.
"…Even if someone accidentally tells someone else, you can't say it was me who said it…" Just when we all thought he was going to tell the secret news, he added another sentence.
nod.
“Um… even if someone accidentally knows that I said it, you can’t say that I told you on purpose…” Although I have always been in awe of God’s instructions, but… oh, there is no but, I am in awe, I am in awe, I am in awe…
“…Even if others knew that I told you on purpose, you can’t say that I told you during the report acceptance period…”
…
“…Even if…”
The God of Heaven has taken the noble virtue of prudence to the extreme. However, I soon discovered that according to his step-by-step explanation, it seems that even if the whole world knows that he has told us these inside information of the God Realm, it doesn’t seem to be a big deal - he seems to always have a way to deal with it.
"Enough, enough, enough!" Fei Yin seemed to be very impatient with the Lord God's careful exhortations and blessings - this was of course wrong, it was such a happy thing to be able to hear the God's teachings with one's own ears - even though he seemed to be constantly talking about some irrelevant nonsense.
"...I promise not to tell anyone. There won't be so many 'even ifs', OK?" Feiyin promised repeatedly. She turned to look at me and Foxiao, and we both nodded firmly.
"Okay then... then I'll tell you..." Seeing our confident expressions, the Fallen Angel with Broken Wings seemed to be relieved. He breathed a sigh of relief and said this.
Seeing that he was about to reveal the secret of the divine world, Fei Yin hurriedly moved closer to him and pricked up her ears, afraid of missing a single word.
"...You really can't tell anyone..." After hesitating for a long time, the God was still worried and uttered these words.
"Are you done yet?" The high-pitched scream almost pierced my eardrum. If I hadn't stopped her firmly, our president, Lady Feiyin, might have committed the heinous crime of deicide on the spot.
This is just horrible…
