DIARY Thirteen I am used to being sad alone 2
There was a jealous sarcasm in Shan Qing's words, and such a contemptuous attitude made me feel inexplicably angry.
"Yuan Cheye is not the kind of person you said! He doesn't have ambiguous relationships with many girls!" I refuted him loudly, as if to vent all the thoughts in my heart, "He won't say 'I like' to others casually. He is just too kind. Even if he doesn't like the other person, he will be friends with the other person in order not to make the other person sad. It's not what you think!"
"Oh, haha. Really? You're still defending him like this! Hasn't he given up on you?"
"Do you tube!"
Shan Qing found my overly excited mood boring. He laughed dryly twice, looked at my cold face, waved his hand, and walked away angrily.
It wasn't until his back disappeared around the corner of the street that my body went limp as if I had lost all my strength.
I squatted on the spot, covering my face tightly, and could no longer suppress the pain in my eyes.
The words that just came out of my mouth made me realize a fact.
That fact was so cruel that I could hardly bear it.
That is--
Yuan Cheye, he never liked me.
He never said "like" to me.
He only remained friends with me because he didn't want to make me sad.
The answer that he has been reluctant to tell is actually a very clear fact, but I have always been unwilling to admit it.
"Che Ye..."
"Why is it so hard to like someone ? Why is it so hard to make the person you like like you..."
All the longing and sadness that I had been suppressing all this time suddenly flooded over me at this moment.
Tears flowed from the corners of my eyes, flowed through my fingers, and flowed down along the skin of my arms.
I haven't cried like this in a long time.
I cried without restraint. If tears could take away all the sadness, then I would be willing to let my tears flow like a river...
"Do you need help?"
When I was at my most vulnerable and embarrassed, a bony hand reached out to me with a gesture of salvation.
I raised my head with tearful eyes, and a sunny smiling face came into my eyes: "You?"
I recognized the figure in front of me as the boy named Xu Yi who came to see me today, and felt a little embarrassed.
How come he saw me twice when I was in the most embarrassing situation today? I decided to pretend to be "blind" and ignore him, lowering my head and thinking whether to perform the "ant drama" again.
"Free tissues are available."
A hand gently held my face, and before I could struggle, Xu Yi bent down, pulled over the sleeve of his white T-shirt, and gently wiped away the tears on my face.
"Okay, it looks much better this way." He checked it with satisfaction, then raised his head and pointed to the sky full of colorful clouds above him, "Maybe there are angels watching you from above the clouds."
"I wasn't crying. Just now sand blew into my eyes." I pushed him away and stood up without admitting it.
I felt dizzy for a moment, and Xu Yi stepped forward to support me.
"Sometimes, crying bravely is also a sign of strength."
"Huh?" Crying is also a sign of strength? What kind of logic is this? I was stunned.
"Many people don't dare to face their own hearts, so expressing emotions truthfully is also a kind of strength." There is a calming power in Xu Yi's voice.
"I'm fine, thank you." I forced a smile. I had gradually developed an inexplicable trust in this person whose origin and purpose were unknown, instead of rejecting him at first.
"Haha, that's better. This way people won't worry."
Such doting words reminded me of the time when I was leaving for college.
That morning, Chen was leaving me for the first time to study in another place.
For the first time, I felt that the big tree I had always relied on was about to leave me, and I couldn't help but burst into tears.
"Silly Xiya, it's not like you're leaving and never coming back. Why are you crying like a baby?"
"I just don't want Chen to leave. If Chen leaves, Xia will be left alone..."
"Who said that? Xia can also call me, text me, or write me a letter."
"But……"
"Okay, don't let Chen worry, okay? Take good care of yourself in the future."
"Well...Xia doesn't want Chen to worry."
…
At that time, this is what I promised Chen.
I miss Chen so much, and the many snacks he made when I was down. He once told me that eating delicious and sweet snacks can make people feel better.
I came back to my senses from my memories. Xu Yi still hadn't left. He was standing beside me, looking at me with concern. I was suddenly moved.
This is the first person who cares about me so much since Chen left.
I sniffed a few times, calmed myself down, and pointed to the dim sum shop not far ahead:
"Come on, I'll treat you to some snacks."
Although no one will ever bring me snacks to change my mood like Chen did when I’m down, I should also learn to adjust my mood by myself now, right?
What's more, this guy named Xu Yi next to me doesn't object to going with me.
However, when I walked into the dim sum restaurant, I realized how embarrassing this decision was. The enthusiastic clerk obviously misunderstood our relationship and kept greeting us:
"This location is relatively quiet, suitable for chatting."
"This is a double-flavored cake made specifically for couples, sour and sweet..."
Xu Yi did not refute this, but the smile on his face became even more brilliant.
I was speechless, so I had to use the "deaf and dumb" trick and found a spot to sit down.
The snacks arrived quickly, and the table was full of my favorites, including chestnut cakes, pine nut cakes, hundred flowers cakes, amethyst pineapple buns... I couldn't wait to start eating .
Xu Yi, who was sitting opposite me, looked at me with interest as I ate without caring about my image at all. His smiling eyes were full of deep meaning.
But I'm too lazy to study his ideas.
In the blink of an eye, I had eaten all the chestnut cakes except one. Just as I was about to finish the last piece with great interest, I saw a hateful hand pick up the last chestnut cake.
"Well, what is this cake called? It smells so good." Xu Yi asked me with a smile, "I want to have a piece too."
"This is chestnut cake!" I answered reluctantly. How could this person be so blind? Didn't he see that this is my favorite? It is not gentlemanly to take away someone's favorite!
"Is it made of chestnuts?" The man opposite me smiled brightly, and when he noticed that I was glaring at him, he looked innocent, "Why are you glaring at me like that?"
"No, there is a fly on the cake." I swallowed and suddenly thought of a plan to take back the chestnut cake.
"ah!"
Sure enough, Xu Yi's hand shook in panic, and the chestnut cake fell back into the exquisite plate.
"Hehe, I was just kidding." I immediately picked up the last chestnut cake and put it into my mouth. While chewing it slowly, I laughed triumphantly at Xu Yi.
"You stole my chestnut cake..." He cried pitifully.
"Did you order this pastry?" I started to preach to prove that I was not bullying him.
"no."
"Are you paying?"
"No. But... you were the one who said you wanted to treat us." He said weakly.
"The host should follow his own wishes. There are so many other pastries, you can choose something else." I quickly shot him back.
Xu Yi stared blankly at the table full of exquisite snacks, and then reluctantly tried another way to turn the tide:
"Sweets are the easiest to make you fat, hehe... aren't you afraid?"
"Where am I fat? And... don't you know that when people are in a bad mood, the best way to deal with it is to eat snacks? Snacks can make people feel better." My mouth was full of fragrant chestnut cake.
"Will eating more make you feel better?"
"Yeah. I guess."
"Then you'll feel better, and will you be more willing to agree to anything?"
"Yes. Yes." I was too slow to notice the growing smell of conspiracy in the air.
"Ye Xiya, I like you, be my girlfriend."
"Well. Uh... cough cough cough... you... just now..." I was scared, something choked in my throat and my face turned red.
"Are you choking? Drink some water quickly." Xu Yi hurriedly handed over the cup of water.
"No...I...I'm going to the bathroom." I waved at him, then walked around the bathroom and ran desperately towards the exit door.
After leaving the dim sum restaurant, I continued running for a while before stopping, my heart still beating fast.
Sure enough, I was right outside the classroom today. He came to deliver a love letter. If he didn't deliver the love letter, he would just confess to me in person.
Where does this person come from? I don't even remember meeting him before, why did he suddenly confess to me?
This is the first time in my life that I have encountered such passionate pursuit, and the other party is a handsome guy. Does he have problems with his emotional intelligence?
What a weirdo.
I shook my head and walked towards the nearest bus stop.
When I got home, it was already dark. Watching the moon slowly climb up the window, I took out my phone and couldn't help texting Yuan Cheye.
Every word has accumulated all my thoughts, but every word can no longer break through the limitations of friendship in the slightest.
Yuan Cheye, is your city beautiful? The moon is beautiful tonight, can you see it from your side?
Soon, there was a reply.
It's a beautiful city, and it's close to the sea. I can almost hear the sound of the waves when I go to sleep at night. Of course I can see the moon, because we share the same sky.
After a brief pause, I thought about what topic to talk about next. Yuan Cheye was cunning and never took the initiative to send me messages, but I couldn't give up actively sending him messages because of this.
Yuan Cheye, I met a very interesting person today, and he confessed to me on the first day we met.
With a little unknown expectation in my heart, I told Xu Yi about my meeting with him today.
Really? What kind of person is he?
He replied.
He... is very handsome, has a strange logic, and his smile is very similar to yours...
At this point, my fingers stopped involuntarily.
Do you believe it, Cheye?
He really looks like you...
The smile is just as bright and dazzling, making me miss it greedily.
My fingers suddenly lost the strength to press down. Finally, I put the message into the draft box.
