DIARY Thirteen I am used to being sad alone 1
Thursday, September 1, sunny
Before going to bed and after waking up,
The first thing I get used to is thinking about you.
When I looked at the front of the classroom,
I will get used to seeing your face in front of my eyes.
Even if you said cruel things to me,
Even if you treat me coldly,
But when I hear you being criticized,
Still can't help but refute.
The memories I once shared with you,
Now it seems to have become my own memory.
The days of summer vacation passed by before I had time to recover from my farewell to Yuan Cheye.
The first day of school, the familiar classroom, familiar classmates, and the familiar smell of chalk dust.
The only difference is that I can no longer see that familiar figure...
"Weiwei, did you have a good summer vacation?" I tried to put on a big smile and sat down in my seat.
"Uh...so-so."
I thought Weiwei wouldn't answer, but I was a little surprised by her simple words. I noticed that she was wearing a very beautiful dress today, so I praised her again: "Your dress is very beautiful today."
She glanced at me and said nothing more.
The air suddenly froze.
The faint golden sunlight and the flying dust particles left a lonely shadow on the empty desk in front.
I was still staring at the empty desk in a daze until the bell rang for class.
Yuan Cheye, should school start today as well? I really hope he won't skip classes as often as before.
Although he and I have been in touch, for some reason, we both avoid talking on the phone and choose to send text messages instead.
I often ask very common questions -
"Have you got a meal yet?"
"How's the weather where you are today?"
"Haha, it's raining here..."
…
I try to avoid asking him how he and his girlfriend are doing now, whether he is happy, and... whether he misses me... misses me as a friend.
I dare not ask, because when I think about it, my heart starts to ache again.
His answers were simple and easy -
"Of course you have to eat when you eat."
"not bad."
“Remember to bring an umbrella.”
…
I often stare at his reply text messages for a long time, and I can't get over the simple change that he no longer calls me stupid, and I feel suffocated by the pain.
Yes, I like him so much that I treat him as my air.
If I forget, I won't be able to breathe...
So, even with such occasional brief greetings and such infrequent contact, I still feel fortunate that I have met you.
Only in that unsent exchange diary can I record all my thoughts completely...
During the last class in the afternoon, I was still immersed in my own world when suddenly, a huge black shadow loomed over me.
I looked up, and before I knew what was going on, I met the extremely angry face of my physics teacher.
"Yeshiya!"
"have!"
I stood up quickly, my body reacting instinctively without my brain having to give me any instructions.
"You, you, you make me so mad!" The physics teacher pointed to the door with a trembling finger, took a breath and yelled, "Get out!"
Just like that, on the first day of school, I was kicked out of the classroom by the ruthless physics teacher and made to stand in the corridor with a white cardboard in my hands raised high.
I looked at the spotless blue sky helplessly and complained: Yuan Cheye, it's all your fault!
You've already left, but you still want to harm me indirectly.
But……
If I had to choose between being punished and stopping missing you, I would still choose being punished...
As I was thinking, I caught a glimpse of someone walking towards me from the corner of my eye. I quickly turned around, lowered my head and faced the wall. When I heard the footsteps approaching, I pretended to be surprised and exclaimed:
"Huh? What a big ant!"
Even so, one cannot avoid hearing the sneers left by people passing by.
However, this is better than being given the cold shoulder in person.
When I saw a person coming from the distance again after more than ten minutes, I repeated the same trick, turned around quickly, lowered my head, stared at the ground intently, and continued to speak "Ant Theory".
"Huh? I've never seen such a cute ant."
The footsteps came closer and closer, but stopped beside me.
"Hello!"
I felt someone tapped my shoulder, oh my god!
There are three black lines on my forehead. Can't you see I'm busy?
I had no choice but to keep my head down, wondering: "Is this big ant a male or a female? This question from the physics teacher is really too difficult."
I've almost stared a hole in the floor, so that guy should give up, right?
But--
"excuse me……"
"Can't you see I'm doing something very important..."
I turned back angrily, but the last word suddenly disappeared into the air.
Against the light, with flying black hair, a bright and handsome face, and... a familiar bright smile.
All of a sudden...the face that I had reviewed countless times in my memory overlapped with the face in front of me.
Breathing stops.
Heart contraction.
There is a sense of fate in the air.
"Hey, hey..." The person in front of me stretched out his hand and waved it in front of my eyes.
"What are you doing?" I came to my senses and asked unhappily.
Who asked him to see me in such a miserable state?
But that person was not frightened by my aggressive appearance at all, and continued to smile: "I want to ask, is there a girl named Ye Xiya in your class?"
"What do you want from me...my classmate?" I can't easily reveal my identity in front of strangers, especially when I'm in such an embarrassing situation.
"You mean there is? Haha, that's great." He laughed lightly, feeling relieved, and his hands began to grope inside his cross-body bag.
"I have something I want to give her in person."
He smiled brightly at me from time to time, and the afterglow of the setting sun cast a dreamy light like broken gold on his side. The whole person seemed unreal as if he had walked out of a cartoon.
"Uh..." I was stunned for a moment, and immediately thought of those cheesy TV dramas that were played over and over again.
The sunny and handsome male protagonist...
When the heroine is most embarrassed...
Show up with flowers or love letters!!!
Oh my god, this boy in front of me could be...
"Hey, isn't your way of chatting up a bad person?"
"Huh?" He was stunned.
"I already have someone I like, so you'd better give up."
"..." He continued to look at me in confusion. After a few seconds, the bright light in his eyes gradually faded, and the smile on his face gradually expanded in my sight.
Deja vu…
His smile was so bright, just like the person in my memory.
"Are you...are you Ye Xiya?" He understood at once and began to introduce himself, "Hello, my name is Xu Yi."
I held up the white cardboard, and was a little speechless as he looked me up and down.
Just when I was about to say I didn't want to act anymore, I heard a voice in my ear that told me to be quiet immediately and put on an innocent expression.
"Ye Xiya, you've been punished to hold up a cardboard, how can you still chat with others, right?"
"Teacher... I didn't, it was him who suddenly..." I wanted to cry but had no tears.
"Don't explain. It seems the punishment will have to be more severe next time."
"Teacher..." I was still struggling, and at the same time I did not forget to cast a resentful glance at the culprit who harmed me.
Who knew that the boy named Xu Yi smiled at me, his eyes conveying a message of reassurance, and then turned around and called the physics teacher:
"Teacher, she didn't chat. I was the one who wanted to find someone to ask her about the situation."
I was stunned.
He was explaining to the teacher for me... He was helping me out...
Once upon a time, Yuan Cheye helped me out in front of my math teacher in the same way.
Looking at Xu Yi's dazzling smile, my eyes felt sore as if they were burned, and I couldn't help but shed tears.
like……
It really seems like that!
Their smiles...
He and Yuan Cheye...
Next, he didn't know what he said to the physics teacher. The physics teacher finally calmed down his anger and slowly walked into the classroom.
The person in front of me raised his lips slightly with a bit of pride and said, "No need to thank me, because I did it willingly."
The expression when talking like this...
The tone of voice when speaking like this...
"like……"
It makes me want to reach out and touch it.
"like what?"
A doubtful voice sounded in my ears.
"Like...someone I know."
As soon as I said it, I came to my senses and felt a little regretful. Why did I say so much to a stranger?
Xu Yi opened his mouth to say something when the bell rang. After the physics teacher said "get out of class dismissed", everyone rushed out with their backpacks on.
In the crowd, Xu Yi's figure was gradually submerged.
I hesitated for a moment, returned to the classroom, grabbed my schoolbag, and followed the crowd out of the school...
Noisy crowd.
There are many shops.
Unfortunately, that person is no longer in any corner.
I didn't take a ride and just walked aimlessly along the street.
"Yeshiya!"
Suddenly, a voice mixed with anger came from behind.
I turned around hesitantly and saw a thin boy running towards me.
"Who are you?"
I was stunned for a long time. I felt that his face looked familiar, but I couldn't remember where I had seen it.
"Have you forgotten? Shan Qing, who sat next to you at the last social gathering?" he reminded me.
"Oh. It's a pervert who calls himself Big Bad Wolf." I smiled with a smile, not really interested. Thinking of what happened at the social gathering, my heart ached a little.
Shan Qing looked around me and asked angrily, "Where is Yuan Cheye?"
"What?"
"Why are you still talking? Yuan Cheye beat me up at the social gathering and I had to stay in the hospital for a week. What a jerk! Besides, why didn't you tell me earlier that you were a couple? Tell me now, where is he?"
Shan Qing's words hit me like a bolt of lightning.
What? Yuan Cheye beat Shan Qing during that social gathering? Why don't I remember that?
Could it be that...
I vaguely sensed something, but I refused to think about it, so I evasively said, "That's impossible. He and I have always been just friends. You must have made a mistake, and you don't need to look for him anymore."
"Why?" Shan Qing was obviously a little unconvinced.
"Because he and his ex-girlfriend went back to their original city." After saying that, I turned around and prepared to leave in a depressed mood.
But, my arm was grabbed.
"Oh? So you're not his girlfriend? Haha, it's not strange for a guy like him to date many girls at the same time. But you're quite pitiful. Why don't you try dating me? I'm definitely not like Yuan Cheye who has ambiguous relationships with many girls at the same time."
