DIARY Fourteen Now After Losing You 1
Friday, September 9th, sunny
Although we are very far apart now,
But why?
Your shadow is still in my heart?
Now that I lost you,
I can't even see you happy.
Instead, I hope that
You will regret losing me.
I hope you'll come find me.
I hope you are not too happy...
but why……
Because I ate too many snacks, my stomach felt uncomfortable all night, and because I didn’t sleep well, I had to squeeze into the bus the next morning with two dark circles under my eyes.
The sky was cloudless and a gentle breeze was blowing.
Nice weather, but a bit bad mood.
"Yeshiya!"
After the bus stopped at a certain station and started again, I heard a familiar voice calling. I sighed in my heart, it can't be such a coincidence? I slowly turned around and saw that there were not many people on the bus. The light golden sunlight shone in obliquely and reflected into the car.
In the light and shadow, Xu Yi walked towards him from the front. He had a slender figure, bright light flashing in his eyes, and a dazzling smile on his face.
My heart suddenly became a little nervous, and I stared at him as he walked towards me step by step, and finally sat next to me.
Under my puzzled gaze, his smile widened and he explained, "What a coincidence. I used to take this bus often, but this is the first time I've met you."
“Uh.” I didn’t know what to say, and I started to feel uneasy because of such a seemingly simple sentence.
There are only two small seats on the small bus.
He and I sat side by side in silence.
The wind blew in slowly from the window, and I could smell an ambiguous fragrance.
Finally, he broke the silence.
"I study at Ryonan High School. It's only one stop away from your school."
"Um."
"He's also in his second year of high school."
"Um."
"I told you my name is Xu Yi, right? Yanwu Xu, the wing that can fly."
"Um."
"I have a sunny personality, no bad habits, and no girlfriend."
"Um."
"if……"
“…”
Time flows slowly, and we begin with a simple question and answer session.
The wind blew in slowly from the window. I looked at the ever-changing scenery outside the window, trying my best to avoid eye contact with him.
I was afraid that I would lose my composure because of the smile on his face that looked like someone else's.
"If...if I really pursue you, can you give me a chance?"
"Uh-huh?"
It was not until he asked the last question and I answered it out of habit that I realized I had fallen into a trap.
"You agreed? That's great!" This excited shout immediately attracted the attention of everyone in the car.
I really wanted to stand up and distance myself from him immediately, saying that I didn't know this guy, but for some reason I didn't do that.
Maybe, even if it's just a similar smile, I still crave it, right?
"It seems you have arrived at your stop."
Xu Yi kindly reminded me, and I finally came to my senses and yelled, "Stop the car! Someone wants to get off!"
After getting off the bus, I felt something was wrong.
three.
two.
one.
I counted to three in my mind, then suddenly turned around and saw Xu Yi following behind me. When he saw me turn around, he smiled at me again, which made me unable to curse out loud.
"Why are you following me?"
"I didn't. I suddenly felt like taking a walk, so I decided to walk the remaining stop."
"But you should go that way!" I speechlessly pointed him in the right direction.
"I know." He smiled brightly again, "I just want to see Xia walk into the school before leaving."
"..." Is this guy born to act in sentimental dramas? Unfortunately, I...
I decided to ignore him and go my own way, but after N+1 seconds he was still following me relentlessly, so I finally couldn't stand it anymore and stopped. I turned around decisively and told him loudly that he had to face a reality:
"I already have someone I like! Even though he has left the city with the girl he likes, I will always like him. So, there is no hope for you."
He was stunned for a moment, and after a few seconds his smile suddenly dimmed.
"Will you really love me forever?"
"Does this... have anything to do with you?" After a long silence, I slowly asked him back.
"Answer me, please?" There was a hint of pleading in Xu Yi's tone, and he was extremely serious.
"Well, yes, it will always be, because his happiness is my happiness."
With such an answer, he should know that he has given up, right?
I stared at him, a dark light flickering in his eyes, and his hand slid down from the bag he was carrying across his body.
I smiled at him in a relaxed manner, and then said, "We can be friends. It's not terrible to be heartbroken. It's fine just like I am now..."
After saying that, I turned around and continued walking forward, but the smile disappeared the moment I turned around.
It’s not scary to break up, but every time I think of the familiar faces in my memory, I feel so sad that I feel like I’m suffocating.
This morning, my mood was not as low as the day before, and time seemed to pass a little faster.
At noon, I was about to go to the cafeteria to eat. As soon as I walked out of the classroom, a figure with a little sunshine and warmth suddenly appeared.
"Xia, you have to treat me to noodles." Xu Yi's eyes sparkled with bright and enthusiastic light.
"Why should I treat you to noodles?" I glared at this elusive guy with annoyance.
In the middle of the day, in such a hot sun, he came to our school just to let me treat him to noodles? If he was not crazy, then he must have some conspiracy.
But he didn't give me time to protest and dragged me out without saying anything. Wait, pull -
My eyes moved from his back down, and his hand was naturally holding mine!
An electric current struck my head and I tried to break free awkwardly, but Xu Yi held my hand tightly, as if he was afraid that I would escape.
"Yesterday you said you'd treat me, but you ran off without even paying. You ordered so many overpriced snacks that I don't even have enough money to live on for half a month."
His words triggered my memories. Thinking of the time I ran away yesterday after hearing his bombshell confession, I could only laugh awkwardly: "Oh...haha. Sorry."
"Then you should make amends?"
"..." I hesitated and remained silent. For someone like me who had been fooled by him twice, could this question be another trap he set?
"Don't worry, I just want you to treat me to a meal every day until the debt is paid off." He noticed my doubts and smiled at me innocently.
I breathed a sigh of relief and answered generously: "OK!"
As if it was natural, after school in the afternoon, Xu Yi appeared at the school gate again, attracting the attention of many girls passing by.
"So handsome. He's comparable to Cheye."
"The way he smiles is so similar to Cheye..."
"Who is he waiting for ?"
Hearing their chatter, I hesitated to show up. If they knew that this handsome guy with a smile similar to Cheye was looking for me, I would probably die miserably under the jealous gaze.
Fortunately, Xu Yi was very cooperative. Although he had seen me, he waited patiently and did not call my name.
It wasn't until everyone around us left that he waved and greeted me cheerfully: "Hi, Xia."
"Um."
I tried to calm myself down and glanced at his clean-cut profile, feeling a little dazed.
Why did he appear when I needed and longed for warmth the most? Cheye left, Chen went to college, and the two closest people were not by my side. Could he be an angel sent by God to comfort me?
As soon as this thought came to my mind, I immediately despised myself! Ye Xiya, you must be out of your mind! How could you come up with such an idiotic and childish thing!
"Then let's go eat at a roadside stall now." As soon as I walked in front of Xu Yi, he made a direct request.
Wow! Did I hear it wrong? There are actually boys who like to eat things like this, what a weird person!
"The food here is very cheap. In this way, Xia will have to treat me to many meals." Xu Yi dragged me to a small stall and explained to me considerately while buying fish balls.
Sweat! Could it be that eating is not his purpose, and his real target is me?
No way? I shook my head, trying to get rid of those strange thoughts in my head.
"Your expression is ugly, haha." Xu Yi smiled brightly while eating the fish balls, "Would you like to try it? It's very flavorful." As he said that, he handed the remaining ball in his hand to me.
