DIARY Seventeen Too Many Sorry 2

"What are you mumbling to yourself?" Xu Yi asked me as I was muttering to myself while cleaning up the broken eggshells.

"I am chanting the Great Compassion Mantra to pray for the souls of these eggs." I looked at the pile of eggs with a look of great pity.

"Ye Xiya!" Xu Yi protested dissatisfiedly.

I ignored him and asked, "What are you going to cook next?"

"Fried egg, why are you asking this?"

"It's better to figure it out so I won't pick the wrong dish later."

"Ye Xiya...this is my first time cooking." Xu Yi pouted pitifully.

"Haha, do you know what Xia's favorite dish is?" Chen smiled gently beside him and took the opportunity to sell information to Xu Yi.

"I don't know." Xu Yi shook his head.

“Kung Pao Chicken.”

"haha, really?"

"Yeah. So you don't have to be able to cook any other dish, but you must be able to cook this one. Do you want to learn? You only have one chance."

"I think, isn't there an old saying that to capture a person's heart, you must first capture their stomach?"

Xu Yi put his arm around Chen's shoulder, and the two of them cooked in perfect harmony.

Ah, just as expected, the two of them get along quite well.

I smiled and shook my head, wandering into Chen's room out of boredom. In the past six months, I wonder if Chen has a girlfriend? Hehe, I need to do some reconnaissance.

I locked my target on Chen's backpack, smiled at it weirdly, and then reached my claws into it.

The first thing he found was his wallet. Haha, most people would put important photos in their wallets, would Chen also put photos of himself and his girlfriend there?

I quickly opened my wallet, and after taking a look, I was stunned with my mouth open.

There was indeed a photo in the wallet, but——

Why is the only photo a photo of me and him?!

I remember this photo was taken when we were very young. I caught him and he refused to take a photo. He still had an awkward look on his face, but his gentle eyes were full of smiles.

I felt a little touched, but I remembered my mission, so I gave up the wallet and searched inside again.

There was a clip pocket on the inside of the backpack, maybe something important would be in there. I curiously unzipped it, but was disappointed to find that there was nothing I was looking for, only a cell phone.

Cell phone? After seeing the cell phone clearly, my heart was shaken with anxiety!

This is a very old looking phone, but to me, it feels very familiar.

Because it... looks very similar to Yuan Cheye's phone! Although phones of the same model will look very similar, the scent and traces left by someone on them cannot be hidden from my eyes.

I picked it up with trembling hands, slowly opened the inbox, and immediately covered my mouth in shock!

How could this be?! All the information stored in here are the messages I recently sent to Yuan Cheye!

My heart suddenly felt empty and my mind was in a mess!

Is this phone really Yuan Cheye's? But why is Yuan Cheye's phone here with Chen?

Too many doubts came to me, what on earth is going on? !

An inexplicable fear gripped me, and the uneasiness in my heart grew stronger and stronger, forming a rapidly spinning vortex, and the black hole at the center of the vortex was about to suck me in...

"Shia!"

Chen walked in at this time, and when he saw me holding Yuan Cheye’s phone in my hand, his expression gradually stiffened.

My lips trembled, and I stared at the figure in front of me with unfamiliar eyes, and my voice was chilling to the bone:

"Chen, can you tell me what's going on?"

Silence.

There was a long silence.

Time seemed to stop.

for a long time--

"I'm sorry, Xiaya." Chen came over and tried to pull my arm.

But the worried look on his face hurt me, so I pushed him away with all my strength!

"You don't have to apologize to me! Just tell me, how did Yuan Cheye's phone end up in your hands?"

"Xia, calm down and listen to me. Actually...it was me who was texting you all along."

"What? This is impossible!"

Although I had guessed it, I was still so shocked when I heard the news in person that I almost fainted.

So, all the text messages I sent to express my longing for him were received by Chen? And the person I really miss has never replied to me? This is too absurd and cruel!

"Yuan Cheye, you bastard! If you don't want to contact me, why don't you just throw your phone away? Why did you collude with Chen to deceive me?! Why do you treat me so cruelly..."

My heart and blood were getting colder and colder, and I felt like I had fallen into an ice cave. My whole body was freezing cold and painful.

My eye sockets started to heat up...

"No, Yuan Cheye has left!" Chen quickly interrupted me.

"I know he left! He even brought his girlfriend to say goodbye to me. He is a cold-blooded bastard! How could he use you to lie to me?" I cursed loudly in grief and anger. Through my tearful eyes, I vaguely saw Xu Yi's figure appear at the door, but he just stared at me with a complicated expression.

"No! Xiaya..." Chen paused, finally bit his lip and hardened his heart, and uttered an extremely cruel word to me, "Yuan Cheye has left this world, he has gone to heaven!"

Boom——

I clearly heard the sound of a taut string in my body suddenly breaking.

What did Chen just say? What did he mean by "Yuan Cheye left this world"? What did he mean by "went to heaven"?

"I don't understand! I don't understand! What are you talking about?" I shook my head frantically, refusing to accept such a desperate answer.

Chen's usually calm and gentle tone rose a few degrees because of his anxiety:

"He's dead! Xia! Yuan Cheye is dead! You have to accept this fact! You will have to accept this fact sooner or later!"

"No! Impossible! You're lying! You're lying! You're lying!"

I gasped and screamed at Chen, yes, Chen must be lying. Chen is lying!

But……

But I know Chen, he would never lie.

What's more, it's such a cruel lie, why would he lie to me?

So Yuan Cheye is...dead?

Is he really dead?

Thinking of this horrible word, my fingernails dug into the skin of my palms. Then I collapsed to the floor, unable to support the weight of my body even with all my strength.

"Xia, be strong. Yuan Cheye is really dead. He had a car accident on the day he left..." Chen held my shoulders and explained anxiously, "That day, when you were in the bathroom, I received a call from Yuan Cheye's father outside. He probably saw that Yuan Cheye's last message was for you, so he called you. I know you like Cheye so much, you must be very sad to hear such news, so I didn't tell you. I went to meet Yuan Cheye's father and took back Yuan Cheye's phone. I want to pretend to be Yuan Cheye and send you text messages, hiding it from you for a while, and then you can slowly forget about him..."

"Enough, enough!! I don't want to listen! I don't want to listen! I don't believe it..."

My heart has been broken into pieces, and the pain has numbed me. The overwhelming sadness holds me tightly, but I still stubbornly refuse to believe it.

How can I believe it? Chen, how can I believe it? ! Such a cruel thing... The person I have always loved so much has left this world forever a few months ago, and I only know all this now...

"Xia, if you don't believe me, just look at the last text message Yuan Cheye wanted to send you. It's in the draft box of your phone."

Hearing this, I couldn't wait to open the draft box of Cheye's phone, and there was indeed an unsent text message saved in it -

Xia, if I leave like this, I will definitely regret it. I come back now and I have something to give you.

The tears that had been accumulating in my eyes until this moment finally burst out crazily.

"Yuan Cheye's father said that Yuan Cheye originally left on a bus, but for some reason he changed to the bus back halfway, and then an accident happened on this bus..." Chen's words became more and more vague in his ears.

What gradually became clear were the words on the phone that stung my eyes:

There is something...

I want to give it to you...

Yuan Cheye, did you turn back halfway just to give me something like this?

"Xia, I'm sorry, Yuan Cheye's father doesn't know what Yuan Cheye wants to give you, so..." Chen looked at me in a trance and chose his words carefully.

"It's okay," I whispered, a wan smile on my face, "I know."

"You knew?" Chen exclaimed in surprise.

"Yeah!" I stood up suddenly, and before they could react, I stumbled out of Chen's house, returned to my own house in one breath, and locked myself in the room.

Yes, I know what Cheye wants to give me.

Because on the day he left, I made such an excessive request to him!

"Shia!"

The sounds of Xu Yi and Chen Dali knocking on the door could be heard faintly from outside.

But I can't hear anything anymore, I don't want to hear those voices anymore. Just having that face smiling at me is enough, golden hair, brown eyes, hiding loneliness in the heart, often showing me a bright smile that cleanses everything, just having these... is enough.

Yuan Cheye, you fool!

Why do you want to turn back? Since you said goodbye to me, why do you want to come back?

If you hadn't looked back, you wouldn't have had the car accident.

Wouldn't leave me alone.

Yuan Cheye...

It turns out that the cruelest thing you did to me was not to give me the answer that we were just friends...

But you have left forever, and I know nothing...

Open all the windows in the house as hard as you can, let all the biting cold air outside come in, and let it wrap around you.

The strange thing is that I was so numb that I didn't feel the cold at all. Was it because... my soul had become as cold as a lifeless ice sculpture?

So tired...

My thoughts seemed to have stopped, and the sound of the wind seemed to have transformed into that person's teasing voice, calling me over and over again: "Haha, idiot."

"Fool."

It turns out that I am really stupid, hopelessly stupid.

I couldn't even feel that person leaving. I lost something so precious without even a chance of getting it back.

My heart tightened and I felt suffocating and the pain was so severe that I almost died.

I took out the birthday gifts that Che Ye gave me from the desk drawer and touched them carefully one by one, as if they still contained Che Ye's scent and...promise.

Was it because I had chosen my birthday present ten years in advance that this was the outcome? I sat on the floor hugging the fish tank and cried hard.

Why should I ask for the thing I wanted most at that time?

If I hadn't brought it up, would none of this have happened?

Cheye, if I didn't make that excessive request, if I didn't want that thing, could you continue to live in this world, smiling... Even if you are no longer with me, as long as I know that you are still looking up at the same sky and the same moon as me, I will feel happy and satisfied...

The howling wind blew in from the window, as cold as a knife.

Warm tears flowed from his eyes, immediately turned cold, dripped into the fish tank, and disappeared in an instant.

Only the black butterfly tail in the water was still unaware of my sorrow, and swam freely around, swinging its tail.

I just lay there motionless, crying until I was suffocated and numb.

I don’t know how long it was until a figure climbed in from the balcony window that I moved slightly.

"Xia, why did you open all the windows? It's so cold outside, you will get sick!" It was Xu Yi, who said worriedly and was about to close the window.

"No!" I shouted to stop him. Although I couldn't find the focus, I still stumbled over and grabbed his hand. "You can't turn it off! No! I won't let you turn it off!"

"Xia." Xu Yi held my frozen hands tightly with his warm hands, clasped them against his chest, and said in a voice full of pity, "Stop it, Xia. The cold wind won't help. Let's close the windows first, okay?"

"No! No!" I struggled desperately, tears streaming silently down my face, "You can't lock him out! No! Without him, I will suffocate! I will suffocate..."

"What nonsense are you talking about, Xiaya?" Xu Yi was a little angry. He grabbed my body with one hand while I was struggling to stop him, and slammed the window in front of me with the other hand.

The flowing cold air suddenly stopped. I stared at Xu Yi in a daze. As the last drop of tear flowed across the corner of my eye, I knelt down on the ground dejectedly like a puppet with its strings cut.

"You locked him out..."

"Air... Cheye..." I murmured helplessly, "You locked Cheye out..."

"What? Xiaya, what did you say?" Xu Yi widened his eyes in surprise.

"Air... The last thing Cheye wants to give me is air!!!"

I raised my head, my hollow eyes were dry, no longer able to shed a single tear: "I once told Cheye that he was my air, and without him I would gradually become unable to breathe... So when he left, I told him that I wanted another gift, I wanted air..."

"Cheye met my request. He turned himself into air and gave it to me... Hehe..." At this point, I laughed tremblingly, and my laughter was desolate and hoarse. "But why... Why do I still feel suffocated even though I opened all the windows and let in the air?"

Xu Yi stared at me, moved his lips, but ultimately said nothing.

Suddenly, he squatted down and hugged me tightly, so tightly that his whole body trembled, as if expressing his fear of losing me.

The light came in from the window, covering Xu Yi's pitiful and sad face, and casting a small heartbroken shadow on the floor behind him.

I don’t know whose house is playing music, but the sad song, so plaintive and touching, fits my mood so well…

As long as I can watch you from afar

Looking at you Looking at you

Even though I'm sad, I still miss you

I miss you so much

As long as I can accompany you quietly like this

Accompany you Accompany you

Even if we break up, I still choose to like you

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