DIARY Nine Although I have made up my mind 1
Monday, June 20 Rain
Someone who can make me laugh;
Someone who can make me cry;
Someone always calls me stupid.
My mood always changes because of him.
I have people like this around me.
Although I have made up my mind not to shed tears,
I decided to be just friends.
But now I am
But he did the opposite of what he decided.
Still stubbornly asking for the answer you want.
Another new week begins.
As soon as I entered the classroom, I saw a familiar figure. This was the first time I noticed Yuan Cheye arrived so early.
I walked to my seat and sat down. I originally wanted to raise my hand to say hello to Yuan Cheye and ask him why he suddenly changed his attitude the day before, but I found that he had no time to pay attention to me. He was chatting happily with a group of girls around him.
"Really? Cheye, you are kidding me, right? How can an ant marry an elephant?"
"Don't believe it? You must find it hard to imagine how the ants felt when the elephant died..."
"The ants must be very sad..."
"No, he's wasting the rest of his life worrying about burying elephants..."
“Hahaha, that’s so funny…”
…
Seeing the girls laughing so hard and Yuan Cheye's bright smile, I couldn't hold myself back any longer. I stood up and interrupted them: "Tsk, this joke has been told too many times. I can tell you something funnier!"
quiet!
The classroom, which was bustling just now, suddenly became very quiet!
However, after a few seconds, everything returned to normal.
"Cheye, can you tell me another one? I want to hear more!"
"Well. This time I'll tell you a story about a fool and a wise man..."
Snapped--
I could clearly hear the sound of my heart breaking.
hateful!
This group of people did it on purpose! They clearly heard what I said just now, but they pretended not to hear it and completely ignored me!
Of course, the most hateful one is Yuan Cheye! It's understandable that others would do this to me, but why would he do this to him? Is he still angry with me like he was yesterday? But I don't think I did anything wrong!
What a weird guy! So hateful, so hateful, so hateful!
I cursed Yuan Cheye over and over in my heart, but the sadness did not lessen at all...
I covered my ears tightly, forcing myself not to listen to that familiar voice. Until the bell rang, I didn't dare to raise my head, afraid that the dazzling golden light in my sight would hurt my eyes.
Perhaps, all my actions and words are just jokes in Yuan Cheye's mind?
I don't know him, not at all...
And now, I no longer dare to hope to understand...
The third section is English listening class.
The English teacher graduated from college not long ago. She always likes to dress fashionably and is called a "fashion expert" by her classmates. But today she actually wore a Scottish skirt to class.
"Classmates, let's play a game today."
As soon as she finished speaking, the students in the audience went wild.
"Oh yeah, playing games..."
"Teacher, in order to show off your skirt, can we go play games outdoors? Besides, the air outside is very fresh and good for the skin."
The English teacher didn't take the students' teasing to heart at all. She said loudly: "The game will be played in the classroom. The seats next to each other will form a group. After the group is formed, I will read out a word first..."
"Can you name another word that begins with the same first letters as the previous one?" Someone in the audience started interrupting excitedly before the teacher finished speaking.
"No, it's the last letter of the word that connects the words."
"Is it like the Chinese word chain game?"
"Well, that's about it. If someone can't answer, they will be punished. But they can choose other team members to help, but this opportunity only happens once. And if the team member can't answer, they can refuse help. Because if you choose to help but still can't answer, your group will be punished collectively."
After the teacher finished explaining the rules, the members of each group began to communicate with each other . When it was their turn, they should try to think of the simplest words and pronounce them clearly to avoid mistakes made by the members behind them.
After the preparations were completed, the competition began.
After the first group finished the competition, no one made a mistake. The teacher smiled in appreciation, and the members of our group also competed with the first group. The team leader sitting in the front turned around and said to us: "Do you have the confidence to beat them?"
"Yes!" the team members answered in unison.
The desire to win in the competition had completely excited our group, and the teacher announced the start of the competition.
"Hello."
Weiwei at the next table leaned over and nudged me with her arm as I was concentrating on searching for words in my head.
"Um?"
I was stunned for a moment, a little surprised that she would take the initiative to talk to me.
"Don't hold us back for a moment."
"oh."
I nodded, and as if encouraged, I prepared for the battle more attentively.
Very quickly, it was Yuan Cheye's turn to play. I watched his mouth open and close, and suddenly there was a noise in my ears...
What's going on? Why at this time...
How could my ears become sick at this time?
Seeing that the game had already moved to the table next to Yuan Cheye, and it was my turn next, I became even more nervous, and my heart was in my throat. I watched the person in front of me saying a word open and close his mouth, but I didn't hear what word he said at all!
I was so anxious that I almost cried, but the more anxious I was, the louder the roar in my ears became. Everyone in our group looked at me nervously, with anxious urging in their eyes.
The members of other groups nearby showed happy expressions, with five big words of pride written on their faces: You are bound to lose.
No, I must not hold everyone back and make everyone in our group resent me. However, I really didn't hear what word the team member in front of me just said...
I looked around in panic and saw Weiwei opening her mouth and saying something to me, her eyes full of encouragement and expectation.
I looked at her, and then involuntarily looked at Yuan Cheye in front of me, and a struggle began in my heart...
"If someone can't answer, they can choose a team member to help, but there is only one chance. And if the team member can't answer, they can refuse help..."
Before the competition started, the teacher said that I could ask my teammates for help. Now, the two of them were probably the most likely to help me.
Who should I choose to help me? Weiwei or Yuan Cheye?
After thinking for a while, I raised my hand and slowly pointed in a direction. Yuan Cheye, you helped me out in math class that time, and this time, I have to trouble you again.
However, the scene of being ignored in the morning suddenly popped up in my mind. I hesitated for a moment, and my finger turned abruptly in the middle, pointing to Weiwei next to me——
"help me."
After I said this, the tension in my heart miraculously disappeared, and then the sound in my ears seemed to be slowly returning...
As long as Weiwei helps me, our group still has a chance of winning.
Thinking of this, my mood suddenly became brighter and my facial expression was no longer so stiff.
However--
"I reject!"
I clearly heard Weiwei's cold voice.
After my hearing finally recovered, the first sentence I heard was such a cruel one.
I looked at Weiwei in disbelief. Her eyes were no longer as friendly as before, and even flashed a hint of pleasure.
The blood in my body turned cold instantly. I was completely at a loss and stood there at a loss.
"Haha. Their group is bound to lose!"
"Damn it! What the hell? How can you not answer such a simple question?"
"She must have done it on purpose! People like this are the most annoying!"
I wanted to cry but I couldn't. Could I tell everyone that it was Weiwei who tricked me into asking for her help, and then turned against me and rejected me? Even if I told it, no one would believe it, and Weiwei would definitely not admit it!
I was so sad that I just wanted to find an excuse to run away. The nightmare-like memories of my childhood swam back along the deep green swamp...
"Deaf! She's the one who harmed us!"
"I clearly told her, but she said she didn't hear it!"
"She must have done this on purpose! Hate it! I never want to play with her again!"
Silent and distorted faces.
A mocking and mocking look.
Those angry and sarcastic images rushed towards me and strangled me fiercely...
don't want!
Don't treat me like this!
I closed my eyes in fear.
"Hey, why are you refusing?"
A question came into my ears particularly clearly amidst the discussions. It turned out to be Yuan Cheye.
"I don't think I can answer that. Do you want the whole team to be punished together with her?" Weiwei answered leisurely, "Now she is the only one who needs to be punished."
lie!
She is lying!
I looked at Weiwei angrily, and she gave me an extremely gloomy look in return, raising the corners of her mouth and smiling viciously.
The teacher standing in front and watching the situation develop cleared his throat: "Well, according to the rules of the game, Ye Xiya will be punished. Stand in front first..."
"Okay..." I agreed with a sob, trying hard not to cry.
The pain in my heart was not because of the punishment, but because of the faces that were so familiar yet so strange. They all looked at me indifferently, as if they didn't know me.
Why does there always exist such a deep gap and distance between people?
In the past, because I always enjoyed special treatment different from those around me, people were unwilling to make real friends with me. When I came to the new school, I concealed my ear disease and tried hard to become like everyone else, but I was still rejected.
In fact, I just want some kind eyes and comforting words. Why is it so difficult?
But I was powerless to argue, so I just mechanically moved my legs out of the desk and walked towards the podium in front.
However, someone grabbed my wrist forcefully!
A slender figure stood up next to me, his golden hair dancing even more dazzlingly in my empty eyes.
Yuan Cheye? What does he want to do?
"Teacher, there is a reason why Ye Xiya couldn't answer just now."
Hearing his words, my hand couldn't help but tremble slightly. Did he know something? Did he... know the real reason?
no, I can not.
Although I tried my best to deny it in my heart, my breathing began to become rapid. Looking at Yuan Cheye's serious expression, it seemed that what he was going to tell me was the obscure secret hidden in my heart.
"The reason is..." He tightened his grip on my hand, as if telling me not to be afraid. Then, as if he had made up his mind, Yuan Cheye continued speaking at a very fast pace, "Ye Xiya has a congenital disease that makes her deaf when she's nervous. Just now, she cared too much about the competition, and when she got nervous, she got sick and didn't hear the words the person in front of her said. Therefore, I think the teacher shouldn't punish her."
As soon as he finished speaking, the classroom immediately exploded with a buzz. The students all turned to look at me with different expressions.
"Really? I'm sorry, Ye Xiya, it's the teacher's fault." The English teacher apologized to me sincerely.
However, I had no time to respond to the curious looks of my classmates, nor did I respond to the teacher's apology. There was only a huge question mark rumbling in my head: How did Yuan Cheye know? How did he know that my ears were sick?
I'm sure I never told him...
"Is it true? Is there such a disease?"
“No wonder sometimes when I talk to her, she asks me to repeat myself in confusion.”
"Then... isn't she half deaf? She sounds so pitiful."
"Oh, will you pity her? Haha."
…
There were intermittent sounds of chattering coming from all around.
The nightmare of memory replayed itself in reality. The whispers shot at me like densely packed sharp arrows, leaving no room for me to escape.
I no longer had the courage to face it, and without caring about the surprised looks of my teachers and classmates, I ran away with tears in my eyes.
After escaping from the classroom, I began to run around the campus in a daze.
I feel so sad. I just want to be a normal person and have normal friends and friendships. But it's too difficult, too difficult...
Am I not working hard enough?
I'm so tired... Dad, I really want to give up and don't want to struggle anymore...
Chen, it would be great if you showed up now, I really want to lean on your shoulder...
"Shia!"
Suddenly I heard a familiar voice calling me and my steps hesitated.
Is it Yuan Cheye?
He was the one who told me my secret just now, why is he following me out again now? To apologize to me? Or to comfort me? But I don't need others' sympathy and comfort!
Without even looking back, I quickened my pace and ran forward.
But no matter how fast I ran, there was always the sound of footsteps following me. When I ran fast, they ran fast, and when I ran slow, they ran slow too, sticking to me like a shadow.
"Hey, are you sick?" I finally couldn't help getting angry, so I stopped and glared at him.
"Ha, so you know my secret too?" Yuan Cheye smiled instead of getting angry, a hint of complex emotions flashing in his eyes, "Then we're even now."
"Tsk! I don't want to know your secrets!" Seeing his unreal smile, I turned around and ignored him, but my steps were heavy, as if they were filled with lead, and I couldn't run anymore.
So I sat down on the grass.
Gray sky.
Obscure mood.
Hot tears were gathering in my eyes, ready to burst out.
I tried my best to endure it and warned myself that I must not cry in front of Yuan Cheye no matter what. I absolutely did not want him to see me in such a miserable state again.
But my face is still wet...
"It's raining!" I shouted and Yuan Cheye pulled me up. When I looked up, I saw that it was indeed raining.
We hid together in the nearest pavilion. The space in the pavilion was not very large, and with the sound of raindrops, we could clearly hear each other's heartbeats.
"Your hands are like dough, fat, but very cute!" Yuan Cheye suddenly leaned over, approached me and said this.
"Hmph!" My face was burning with fever. I glared at him fiercely, wiped off something on my face that I didn't know was rain or tears , and shook off his hand that was holding mine.
Then he walked to a corner of the pavilion, keeping the farthest distance from him.
In the corner of my eye, I noticed that he was moving towards me quietly. So I hid further away. And he, without getting tired of it, began to move again... As a result, we kept moving back and forth like two points on a circle.
