DIARY Five I Want to Be Your Fool 1
Monday, May 23rd Cloudy
Just a few words you said casually,
It changed my thoughts and my appearance.
Even if you make small unconscious movements, my eyes still follow you.
It doesn't matter what you think of me.
Things like exchanging diaries with each other,
Knowing that people would laugh at me,
But as long as it's for you,
It doesn't matter if I become an idiot.
because,
If you don't become a fool.
It was sunny on the weekend.
Early in the morning, I dragged my good brother Gu Haochen to the street.
"Xia, why do you suddenly want to go to the stationery store?" Chen looked a little tired, probably because he had been reviewing until late at night. But he still followed me closely.
"Because I want to buy something for someone! Chen, you have to help me choose it later."
I dragged Gu Haochen to search in stationery stores one by one. Finally, in a store, my eyes lit up and I walked to the shelf selling diaries.
The diaries placed on it are very beautiful, with various styles and types.
"Chen, what style do you think is better to choose as a gift for a boy?"
"Well, it depends on the boy's personality!" Chen, wearing a shirt with delicate dark patterns, stood beside me patiently, watching me choose, his eyes always calm and gentle.
"Personality?" I counted on my fingers, "Arrogant, cocky, a pervert, always calling me an idiot... and..."
And...sadness.
The look on Yuan Cheye’s face as he looked at the night sky that night suddenly emerged in my mind.
"Haha, there are not so many shortcomings." Chen smiled gently and reached out to rub my hair.
"You don't believe it? He is really nothing like Chen. Chen is handsome, gentle and polite, never loses his temper with me, and buys me delicious snacks... He has many advantages. That guy is different!"
Speaking of which, that guy Yuan Cheye is really bad.
But strangely, it was this person who gave me the urge to understand him and get closer to him. After thinking for a few days, I decided to buy two diaries and exchange them with each other to get closer to his heart.
"Haha, then why have you never thought of buying me a gift?" Chen pretended to be dissatisfied.
“Haha…” I laughed awkwardly, “Really? I haven’t bought any?”
"without."
"Then I'll make it up to you next time."
"Haha." Fortunately, Chen was generous and didn't care, and returned to the topic, "Actually, you can choose a diary that best represents your feelings."
"Really?" I was touched by his words, and my eyes instantly stopped on a diary with a black and white cover.
The sky on the cover is filled with white angel feathers, one by one, as a girl reaches out her hand to a silent boy, and time stands still at that moment. The air seems to be filled with unspeakable secrets between the two, and everything seems to be unspeakable, beautiful and sad.
"Just these two." I took two diaries and handed them to the boss.
After paying, Gu Haochen and I walked out of the store. Gu Haochen walked beside me. In the sunshine, he smiled elegantly and gracefully, and every move he made was extremely graceful, attracting the attention of countless girls. But he seemed to ignore those admiring glances.
"Chen, don't you want to ask me anything?" When we were almost home, I finally couldn't bear it anymore and spoke.
"What do you want to ask?"
"Asking who the things are for, why I bought the diary, and who is that guy I just mentioned?"
"No need to ask. Xia will tell me when she wants to."
I quietly looked at Chen's gentle eyes in the sunshine, as if I would always feel safe and at ease in front of him. He was like a gentle and calm sea. With him around, I never had to worry about anything.
"Chen, I fell in love with a boy, but he rejected me the first time I confessed." I decided to confess to him without reservation.
"Really? Even though you were rejected, you still like him, right?"
"Yeah, so I don't want to give up. I have to keep working hard and make him like me."
"I believe that whatever Xia is determined to do will succeed."
"Chen." I looked at him touchedly, "I want to eat chestnut cake."
"Haha..." Chen smiled at me lovingly and nodded.
On Monday morning, I got up early, sat on the edge of the bed and started muttering:
"Why can Weiwei wear the school uniform so beautifully?"
I stretched my legs. They were a little short, but the proportions were good and they looked good overall.
But when he looked up, he was startled by his own reflection in the large mirror on the wall.
The girl inside had messy hair, big, lifeless eyes, and lips that looked like wilted petals, without any bright color.
"Ah! Is this me? When did I become so haggard?"
While wailing, I rushed to the dressing table, took out a bunch of skin care products and started tinkering with them.
Half an hour later, when I stood in front of the mirror again, my image had changed 180 degrees.
Her chestnut hair, which was usually tied up, now fell straight down, exuding a soft luster. Her long and curly eyelashes could not hide the bright light in her eyes, her delicate lips were shimmering with pink pearls, and she was wearing a well-fitting school uniform, exuding a different ladylike flavor than usual.
I have never dressed myself like this before, and I couldn’t help but be stunned.
Is it because I start to care about someone that I start to care about my own appearance?
But would he like the way I am now?
With a mixture of joy and trepidation in my heart, I walked out of the house and bumped into Chen who was coming back from morning exercise.
Sweat! I subconsciously tried to dodge, curled up my body, and tried to stick as close to the wall as possible.
Oh my God, don’t let him see me, he will laugh to death.
God, please bless me!
I buried my face in my hands, waiting fearfully for Chen to pass by, then breathed a sigh of relief, and was secretly glad that I hadn't been discovered when -
"Xia." A voice with a hint of laughter came from behind.
I suddenly had an urge to bang my head against the wall.
"Hey, was there anyone talking just now? I didn't hear it." I wanted to use this trick to escape the eye contact with Chen.
"Pretending is a cowardly act."
"I am indeed a coward, not a warrior."
"You're still here arguing with me if you didn't hear me?"
"Chen, you did this on purpose."
Hearing Chen's tone of suppressing laughter, I knew he was teasing me. I simply turned around and glared at him.
"Are you angry? That doesn't suit your image today."
"So what..." I was about to retort, but suddenly a question occurred to me, so I asked weakly, "Does this outfit suit me?"
"..." Chen put his hand on his chin and looked me up and down carefully.
"To be honest, I can handle any answer." Looking at his silent expression, I felt extremely depressed.
"Hehe... Actually, I want to say - it suits you very well. Shia looks very beautiful today."
His expression was very sincere when he said this, without any perfunctory tone.
My face immediately shone like a flower under the sun: "Of course, I, Ye Xiya, am also a beauty ."
"Haha... There are some very attractive things about Xia, but you just don't know it, so you must believe in yourself."
I nodded vigorously and glanced at my watch. Damn, I was going to be late again.
"Chen, I'm leaving first."
I ran away.
Yuan Cheye, when you see this different me, will you praise me as generously as Chen did?
I rushed to the classroom like a gust of wind. Fortunately, I was not late, otherwise I would have spent the whole day in the toilet.
As soon as I sat down, I immediately felt the person next to me stealing glances at me. I tilted my head and smiled: "Good morning, Weiwei."
"Tsk..." Weiwei, who was caught by me, glanced at me unnaturally.
I ignored her, opened my bag, took out a small round mirror, and looked in the mirror to fix my bangs that had been messed up by the wind.
I can’t let Yuan Cheye see me in this mess later.
But until the bell rang, the seat in front was still empty. A beam of clear sunlight shone through the window onto the empty seat, making it look a little lonely.
The first class ended in waiting and loss.
I took out two diaries I bought at the weekend from my desk and gently stroked the pictures on the cover. If one day...
Suddenly, there was a loud bang and the classroom door opened.
I immediately raised my head reflexively, looked over the crowd, and saw the dazzling golden hair and the familiar sunny smile on that clean and handsome face.
Yuan Cheye, he is finally here.
I couldn't help but curl up the corners of my mouth, and a smile as sweet as bubbles spread out.
Yuan Cheye walked straight towards the empty seat in front of me under everyone's gaze. I stared at his figure getting closer and closer, and I had an illusion: it seemed that he was walking towards me alone. It seemed that at that moment, he only had eyes for me.
The wind whistled gently through the classroom, and the curtains were blown up by the wind.
A scent of roses permeates my nostrils...
"Hey, why are you late for class?"
After he sat down, I couldn't help asking him. At the same time, I secretly checked my "new look" in the mirror on the table.
"Stupid, this is called skipping class. Do you need a reason to skip class?" Yuan Cheye didn't seem to notice my change, but as soon as he finished speaking, he was drowned by a bunch of crazy girls swarming over him.
"Cheye, are you thirsty? I brought you some green tea."
"Cheye, I brought you some ice water. It's very thirst-quenching. Green tea will only make you thirstier the more you drink it."
"Cheye, let me wipe your sweat."
…
"I like green tea very much. I also like ice water. I can wipe the sweat myself...Haha, you guys go back to your seats. I'll invite everyone to go out and play together when we have time."
Although I had heard that he had very good interpersonal relationships and was especially popular with girls, when I heard with my own ears that he casually invited other girls to play with him, the sadness in my heart still surged like a tide.
Maybe he was just joking, but I couldn't ignore my true feelings at that moment. That night when we watched the night view, we were so close and yet so far away from each other; that night, I confessed to him and was rejected by him...
Maybe all that didn't mean anything special to him, but it meant a lot to me.
That was the first time in my life that I mustered up the courage to like someone.
And because this is the first person I fall in love with, I must not give up just because of a small setback!
I clenched my palms and kept encouraging myself: Yesiya, Yesiya, come on!
It was not until my palms were pinched blue by fingernails that the courage in my heart slowly accumulated.
After the group of girls who had surrounded Yuan Cheye dispersed happily, I made up my mind and handed the diary to him.
"For you."
"Why did you give me this?" Yuan Cheye took the diary and glanced at it with some confusion. When his eyes swept over me, a hint of surprise flashed in his eyes, but he didn't say much.
"There are two diaries, one for you and one for me. Didn't you say it's impolite to ask you about your secrets directly? Now let's write our secrets in our diaries and then exchange them. This way, we won't feel embarrassed to speak up, and more importantly, no one will hide anything from the other."
"No." Unexpectedly, Yuan Cheye refused outright.
"Uh...how could this happen? Chen also thinks there's nothing wrong with this, so why would you refuse?" I touched the hairpin on my head awkwardly.
I want to understand him so much, and I want to get his attention so much. Yuan Cheye, considering my dedication and hard work, please stop rejecting me, right?
"Who is Chen?" he asked suddenly.
"Hmm? Chen is my neighbor's brother. We grew up together." Why did Yuan Cheye suddenly care about Chen? But when it comes to Chen, I can't stop talking. "Chen's temper and personality are perfect, and he is very reliable. Whenever I have something on my mind, I will tell him, and he will listen to me patiently. When I was bullied and cried, when I was sad because of poor test scores, when I was sick, Chen was by my side like a guardian. He..."
"enough!"
I was talking excitedly when Yuan Cheye suddenly interrupted me fiercely. I was startled. I looked up and saw that his face was extremely ugly.
"What's wrong?" I asked in confusion, but Yuan Cheye turned his head lazily, as if he didn't intend to pay any more attention to me.
What did I say to offend him? Did I just talk too much and too much? Then I can make it short.
"Yuan Cheye, don't you believe it? Chen really is... a very good person..."
Before I could finish my words, Yuan Cheye suddenly leaned over to me without any warning, and his face was suddenly very close to me.
I swallowed the tail end of my words nervously and looked into his eyes, which contained too many complex emotions that I couldn't understand.
Now, the distance between the two of us is only 1 centimeter, eyes to eyes, nose to nose, mouth to mouth... I can clearly see my shadow in his eyes.
Time stopped at this moment.
Everyone seemed to have disappeared, leaving only Yuan Cheye and I.
For a moment, I held my breath and my heart began to beat rapidly. An inexplicable feeling gradually invaded all my senses. I almost lost myself in the increasingly strong rose fragrance.
It seemed like a century had passed.
"Hey, your Chen is here." Yuan Cheye suddenly whispered in my ear, breaking the delicate atmosphere between us, "He is looking at us."
"Chen?" I was a little dazed. I glanced at the door of the classroom and found Chen standing there with a gentle look on his face, looking at me with a smile.
"As expected, he looks like a 'guardian'." When Yuan Cheye said this, there was an awkward emotion in his tone that I didn't quite understand.
I jumped back awkwardly, distanced myself from him, covered my burning face, and left my seat.
On one side of the corridor outside the classroom.
"Chen, are you here to see me?"
"Well, you forgot your lunchbox at home this morning, so your dad asked me to bring it to you."
Then I remembered that I was so focused on dressing up in the morning that I forgot to bring the two lunch boxes I made last night.
"Thank you, Chen." I took the bag containing the lunch box a little nervously.
"What's wrong? Didn't your efforts this morning produce any results?" Chen noticed that something was wrong with my face and asked with concern.
"Chen..." When he asked me this, the grievances in my heart gradually overflowed from the bottom of my heart.
Lian Chen could see it, so why didn't Yuan Cheye even give me a perfunctory look? He just gave me a bad face for no reason, could it be...Is there really no place for me in his heart?
Just when I was feeling depressed, a hand gently stroked my forehead and soothed me gently.
I raised my head and met Chen's gentle and steady gaze. He looked at me as if he knew everything: "Our most lovely Xia, just be yourself, there is no need to change yourself for others, and there is no need to be discouraged for things that have not yet seen results. Because Xia is Xia, and she is Xia who will work hard for the people she cares about."
My heart suddenly became bright , because of his words, the sunlight once again squeezed into my eyes.
"Chen, why are you so nice to me?"
"Silly, haha, because... I am Ye Xiya's guardian."
Looking at such a gentle Chen, who has been protecting me according to his previous oath, my heart suddenly softened.
