DIARY Eight Things that only the person you like can accept 1

Saturday, June 18th, sunny
It should be that there is a closeness between the hearts first,
And then there is physical contact, right?
Only the person you like can accept his hug;
Only the person he likes can accept his kiss;
Only the person you like can happily accept everything about him.
So, can I think that
Has my position in your heart begun to change?
 
I don't know when I got home, or how long my drunken stupor lasted.
It wasn't until a series of ringing sounds disturbed my brain that I sat up reflexively, and with my mind still hazy, I let out a scream -
"Ah! Are you late?"
I habitually reached for the alarm clock on the bedside table, but found that the sound did not come from there at all, but from the phone on the bedside table.
I covered my head with a blanket, struggled for a while, and then slowly reached out and picked up the microphone.
"Who is it? Don't you know today is the weekend? It's so annoying to disturb my late sleep..."
"Xia..." A familiar and somewhat sad voice came from the other end of the phone, "So Chen is really annoying! Then you continue to sleep, I will build a wooden house for the puppy by myself."
"Wait!" After hearing what Chen said on the phone, I shuddered all over and all my sleepiness disappeared immediately. "Puppy? Ah! I remember! Last night... wait for me, wait for me. I'll be down soon!"
"Yes. Come directly downstairs."
After hanging up the phone, I quickly changed my clothes, washed my face, and hurried downstairs.
From a distance, I saw Chen squatting in a corner, busying himself.
"Chen, what are you doing?" I walked over.
"Xia, haha, look."
Infected by his gentle smile, I looked curiously in the direction of his finger.
"Wow! Found the mother dog?" I exclaimed in surprise.
In the bushes where we found the three puppies last night, there was now another strong big dog. It seemed to sense that we had no ill will towards the puppies, so it wagged its tail at us in a friendly manner.
"Early this morning, I heard its barking, so I carried the puppy downstairs. When it saw the puppy in my arms, it immediately rushed towards me, barking--" Chen made an exaggerated expression when talking about the thrilling scene in the morning. I couldn't help but look him up and down with concern: "Are you okay? Are you injured?"
"Of course I'll be fine. I'm here to protect Xia, how could I die so easily?"
"Haha." Hearing him say that, I smiled with relief.
After drinking their fill of milk, the puppies lay down beside their mother dog and fell asleep.
I squatted beside them and watched them quietly, while Chen brought some wooden boards from somewhere and squatted not far away, busying himself with something.
"Chen, what are you busy with?"
"Make a simple hut for the puppy."
"Really? Then they have a home." I immediately became interested, but when I stood up, my eyes went dark and I almost fell down.
I shook my head vigorously. Could it be the aftereffect of being drunk last night?
"Is there anything I can help you with?" I moved closer to Chen.
"Just stay aside and watch." Chen refused with a smile. He turned his head and glanced at me with a surprised expression, "Hey, are you hot? Why is your face so red?"
"Really?" I stroked my face with my hand in confusion. It seemed that I was a little hot. "Maybe I ran downstairs too fast just now!"
"Haha, you're still so impatient." Chen turned around and continued to bang on the wooden board. Half an hour later, the roof of a small house took shape in his hands.
"It's beautiful, Chen, can I paint it?"
"Of course, you can draw anything you want."
“Drawing?”
For some reason, I suddenly remembered Yuan Cheye’s back as he sat on the playground watching the sunset.
"what's on your mind?"
"When the setting sun gradually descends to the other side of the clouds, the day slowly comes to an end. This is when everyone goes home...Hahahaha, the sunset at this time really looks like a painting I've seen before, by Anthony or something. Wow, the sunsets he painted are really this beautiful."
"Anthony's painting is of a sunrise..."
"Hmm? Anyway... it's almost there."
At that time, was the exaggerated smile on Yuan Cheye's face genuine? Looking back now, there were many suspicious things, and he seemed to be hiding something...
"Chen, can I draw a picture of the sunrise? The red sun is jumping brightly on the horizon."
"Haha, sure. But the sunrise...are you sure you can draw it?"
"Chen, you are laughing at me again! Be careful, I will bite you!"
I pretended to rush towards Chen angrily, but at that moment, my head suddenly felt dizzy again, followed by a choking breath, and a strange sound rang in my ears, like the harsh noise of a broken tape in a tape recorder.
Are you sick again?
But why is it different this time...
"Xia... I'm not afraid..."
Occasionally a word or two would jump into my ears, but more often than not there was an increasingly noisy noise.
I took a deep breath and forced myself to calm down.
Whoosh…
Whoosh…
However, that horrible and piercing noise continued for a very long time, with no sign of stopping.
Gradually, fear overwhelmed me.
Why hasn’t my ears gotten better? Why didn’t the sounds in my ears disappear completely this time, but were filled with noise instead?
Will my ears stay like this forever? No... I don't want this...
“Chen…”
I called out to Chen, and my vocal cords began to tremble.
Chen noticed my abnormality and immediately dropped the wooden board in his hand and supported me.
His mouth opened and closed, but I couldn't hear anything. Only endless noise poured into my ears.
My body began to shake, as if it would be crushed by an invisible force at any time.
"Chen, what are you talking about? I can't hear you! I can't hear you..."
"What should I do? What should I do? Chen..."
I tried to cover my ears in panic, but suddenly a pair of strong hands held my face and forced me to look up at him.
It’s Chen.
He gazed at me with eyes as calm as the deep sea, so focused and gentle, full of encouragement and comfort, and my emotions gradually stabilized.
Yes, Xiaya, you don’t have to be afraid as long as Chen is by your side.
I leaned softly in Chen's arms, and just before the last wave of heavy dizziness hit and my consciousness was taken away, a pair of hands gently held me up...
When I woke up again, there was the familiar smell of disinfectant in my nostrils.
I slowly opened my eyes and saw Chen standing by my bed, and all white. When he saw me wake up, he smiled comfortingly and said something.
I shook my head.
There are still bursts of buzzing in my eardrums, making me dizzy and unable to hear what he is saying clearly.
Chen went out for a while and brought back paper and pen.
"Don't worry, you just have a cold." He wrote on a piece of paper to show me.
"Yeah." I nodded.
"Are you feeling uncomfortable somewhere?"
"It's okay, just some tinnitus."
I didn't want to worry Chen, so I gave him an answer that wasn't serious, but in reality I was filled with fear inside.
Will it continue like this? If I really can't hear it anymore, that would be a terrible thing...
Chen stayed with me in the ward all day. It was the same before, every time my father was away on business, Chen would take care of me patiently and carefully like a brother.
Although my fever had subsided soon after I was admitted to the hospital, Chen refused to let me get out of bed and insisted that I lie down and rest. It was not until the sun was about to set that my chance finally came.
"Just stay here and I'll go buy some food." Chen stood up and wrote on the paper.
"Yes." I agreed obediently.
But as soon as the door closed and his figure disappeared, I immediately jumped out of bed.
I'm sorry, Chen, I lied to you.
My tinnitus seems to be getting worse. It has never happened before. Although I couldn't hear at that time, I always recovered my hearing relatively quickly. This time is different. The long-term tinnitus is driving me crazy.
Because you have always been by my side and I don’t want to make you worry, I have been trying hard to pretend nothing happened.
and……
I was walking in the empty corridor. The noisy world was unfamiliar and I was the only one in such a world.
Unconsciously, the scene of last night began to emerge in my mind, the box with interlaced lights, the kiss I longed for but lost, the dreamy fireflies and the failed confession, and the bitterness in my eyes spread quietly...
Ye Xiya, you are really in a miserable situation! You have failed to confess to the same person twice in a row... I raised the corner of my mouth in self-mockery and stopped at the door of a familiar room.
This is the room where I hid when . I don’t know what it is used for. The lights are never on and it’s always pitch black.
I pushed the door open and walked in.
There seemed to be a familiar smell lingering in the air. This was where Yuan Cheye and I first met.
I didn't expect to come here for the second time. But that person will never show up...
My nose felt sore, and the emotions that had been accumulated all night and had not been released suddenly reached a saturated state. I leaned against the door with my back, covered my eyes, and let the surging tears burst out like a river.
Why do I get this disease?
Why can't my classmates accept me?
I just want to live like an ordinary person, make friends, and have warm friendships. Why can't I do such a simple thing no matter how hard I try?
The noisy sound in my ears continues. My heart is so tired, so tired. How long will this torture last?
And Yuan Cheye...
Why don't those memories about Yuan Cheye make people feel happy at all...
"Yuan Cheye, I like you."
"Really? You really like me?"
"Do you know what love is? It's not a momentary impulse! Even if you think you like it now, you can ruthlessly abandon it in the future. In this case, it's better not to start, don't you think?"
"Do you hate me?"
"Now think clearly that the confession you made that day was just an impulse, right?"
"Haha, didn't you say you liked me? But you see, liking someone really can't last long! From that day till now, it hasn't even been a week, right? You can't stand it anymore, so you want to throw away your love, right?"
"I know you like me, but I can't like you..."
"Why not?"
"I don't know. Maybe... I just lack the ability to like people."
"You're lying!... You obviously like those girls, how could you lack the ability to like people?"
"Really? ...Hehe, maybe it's just that I lack the ability to like you..."
"... Let's be friends... Can we just be friends?"
"Yuan Cheye, can we break through the limitations of being friends and can we... officially date?"
"Can't."
"Why?"
"I can't like you, no matter what."
My tears flowed more violently...
Yuan Cheye...
Big bastard!
I wiped my tears and when I looked up, I suddenly caught a glimpse of a dark shadow vaguely beside the curtains in the room.
Black shadow! My heart skipped a beat and my breathing almost stopped!
I was so nervous that I couldn't even hear the ringing in my ears.
"who?"
After thinking for a few seconds, I asked with a trembling voice.
In the dim backlight, the man slowly turned his head towards me.
Although it was still a little blurry, I could clearly recognize the person——
"Yuan Cheye!"
"I thought it was a wolf howling. Your crying sounded terrible."
It was a familiar voice. It was indeed him. I had no doubt that this voice and tone of voice would be mistaken.
Huh?
I suddenly realized that something was wrong. Did I seem to be able to hear voices just now? Thinking of this, my ears seemed to have indeed returned to normal. The harsh noise that had lasted for a day seemed to have been washed away by the tears just now. Now there was only a clear and bright world left.
When my eyes gradually adjusted to the darkness, I slowly walked to the window. Under the light from outside, the dazzling golden hair exuded a dreamy luster.
Oh no, he must have seen me crying without caring about my image just now.
"Why are you acting like a ghost here and scaring people?" I quickly wiped my eyes and decided to take the initiative.
"Why are you hiding here crying alone?" Yuan Cheye directly avoided my question. Damn it, he brought up something irrelevant.
"Who's crying? You heard it wrong."
"You don't admit it? I have evidence in my hand." Yuan Cheye shook the MP4 in his hand towards me. "I just happened to record that person's crying. What? Do you want me to play it for you again?"
"You, you, you!" This guy is simply a traitor! An evil spirit in human skin!
"Why are you crying?" he continued to ask.
Alas, it seems that it is useless to avoid it blindly.
But I couldn't tell him that half the reason why I cried so hard just now was because of him, so I decided to just make up a little lie to get by...
"Well, I walked into the wrong room and started crying because I was afraid of the dark." I answered after a moment of hesitation.
"Really?" Yuan Cheye stared at me suspiciously. Under that gaze, I couldn't help but feel guilty: "Well, it's not entirely because I'm afraid of the dark, but because my teeth hurt a little..."
"Toothache?" Yuan Cheye leaned close to me, his bright eyes seemed to look deep into my heart, "If you don't tell the truth, I will lock you up here and won't let you go out. If you are afraid, tell the truth quickly!"
"Hmph! No way!" Seeing how calm he was, with an expression that seemed to have me in his hands, I turned around and walked towards the door in anger.
But--
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