Maybe it won't be until a certain moment in your life that you realize how much you like someone.
If you still don’t know, don’t be afraid, fate will teach you.
At two o'clock in the afternoon, I put on my makeup, took out the pink dress I wore the day I met Qiao Nuo's family, put on a black coat, and hurried out of the house. On the surface, I seemed to be still the calm me, but in fact, my heart was in turmoil all the time. I had countless questions to ask him, many things to say to him, and even wanted to hug him, kiss him, and want to lean on his shoulders forever without thinking about all the troubles.
However, all this is just a luxurious imagination after my inner repression has reached the extreme.
I actually know that after this meeting, it is very likely that we will never see each other again. So, even if I leave, I have to leave him with my best side. I can't let him see me with a haggard look and being tortured beyond recognition by the disaster.
As agreed, I came to the private room designated by Guan Xia. This private room is the most hidden place in this cafe. If you are not a regular customer, you will not know that there is such a private room in this corner.
That’s right, the situation is so special now, so of course we have to keep our meeting secret.
After ordering his favorite coffee, I sat obediently and waited for him. But contrary to my expectation, it was not only him who came to see me, but also Guan Xia.
Guan Xia walked in front, blocking most of his body. It was not until the two of them walked in front of me that I could see Qiao Nuo's face clearly.
He had lost weight, even more than me. He was casually wearing a beige sweater and dark grey pants. When he saw me, his amber eyes lit up. I looked back at him with the same eyes. There was no word between us, but it seemed as if we had said everything.
"You two should keep your conversation short. It will probably take no more than fifteen minutes." Guan Xia crossed her arms and turned to Qiao Nuo and said, "I risked my life to bring you out here. Don't cheat me."
Qiao Nuo nodded, but I couldn't help myself and asked him, "Did they lock you up?"
He smiled and said, "It's like house arrest. They're afraid I'll do something stupid."
He is always like this, never telling others about his ups and downs, just willing to swallow them silently . Even though he is having a very bad time, he still wants to smile in front of me.
"That day I couldn't contact you, so I went to your house to look for you. Your father told me that you might have gone to your mother's house, so I went there according to the address, and found that you were in danger. I was indeed too impulsive, and it was me who caused such serious consequences. At that time, I returned to the car and planned to call the police. I thought I would make a quick decision, but I still underestimated the weakness of human nature."
"At that time, I thought that I might really--"
"So, I hesitated for a moment, and I called my father's assistant uncle. I asked him to find a lawyer for me first, but I didn't tell him what happened to me. But I really underestimated him. He noticed something was wrong and told my parents about it right away. It was during this gap that Dong Mingyang showed up. The police car showed up soon after, and my father's people showed up with the police car. My father is such a meticulous person. He knew I was looking for a lawyer, so he realized that I might be involved in some disputes. He wouldn't allow anyone to ruin our family's future, so he took the lead and took me home. After learning the whole story, he locked me up right away. I also heard what happened later from Guan Xia. I thought I could beat him, but in fact , I was completely powerless to compete with him. The last time I stole the bodyguard's phone to contact you, he was even more furious when he found out, and he wanted to send me abroad directly. It was during this gap that Guan Xia finally agreed to help me escape."
"Yes, we just came from the airport. Qiao Nuo pretended to be sick and went to the bathroom, and then he got away by disguising himself." Guan Xia added.
Hearing these calm descriptions, my mind has already imagined all the thrilling past experiences. He felt extremely guilty at this moment, but the more he felt guilty, the more I could not forgive myself. If it were not for me, he would not have been implicated. What did he do wrong? He did nothing wrong. If he had not appeared, I might be the one lying in the intensive care unit now.
How could I, Su Jingan, have such a gifted person's life become so entangled? If I had known that things would develop to this point, I would never have approached him.
"How are you doing now? Are you eating well? Are you sleeping well? Don't think too much. Since the matter has come to this, let us solve it ourselves." I held back my tears and comforted him with a smile.
"I'm fine, don't worry, I'm fine." He patted the back of my hand gently.
"Jing'an, will you wait for me?" he asked solemnly. Guan Xia inexplicably began to look nervous, but he said nothing.
"Your father told me that our relationship is over." I tried to keep my voice calm, "But I thought about it. You are the one I'm in love with, so what he said doesn't count in my opinion."
Hearing what I said, Qiao Nuo's tense face suddenly relaxed and he smiled brilliantly. I rarely saw him, who was always cold, smile so brightly, like a child who got what he wanted. He subconsciously tightened his grip on my hand, as if he was hesitating about something, paused, and said, "What if I have nothing?"
I looked at him calmly.
This sentence is a signal that he wants to take action, but I don't know what he wants to do, or he doesn't know it himself. But we both know that if we want to be together, we will have to lose a lot.
"Su Yuan and I are no longer father and daughter." I forced a smile, "I no longer need any additional conditions."
His eyes were moist, he sighed, and then nodded with relief, "Okay, okay."
Many times, I feel that Qiao Nuo is my soul mate. I can understand what he says without him explaining too much, and he can also understand .
There is never a need for many words between him and me. Sometimes, just a glance is enough to express the words in our hearts.
Because of this, Guan Xia was confused and didn't quite understand what we were talking about. He rolled his eyes and looked at his watch, "Qiao Nuo, time is running out."
Qiao Nuo looked at him calmly, then handed the phone to me. He smiled at me, but his sad look was more painful than crying. Guan Xia sighed heavily and stood up, "Since you have made the decision, I have nothing more to say. I'm going to go outside to smoke a cigarette, and you two can solve it yourselves."
After saying that, Guan Xia stood up and left the private room, leaving the two of us here.
Qiao Nuo silently placed the phone in my palm. He was afraid that I would not testify against him, so he wanted me to do it myself so that he would feel at ease. I froze in my tracks and wanted to cry.
I know what he's going to do.
"Jing'an, you must live well when I'm not around." He said softly, but I didn't want to look up at him again. I was afraid that I couldn't hold back the torrent of tears, and that all the fear and despair in my heart would pour out.
"I don't want you to owe others, I'd rather you owe me. So, Dong Mingyang can't be in trouble, otherwise, you and I won't be able to walk hand in hand in this life. I have never done anything violent in my life. The only time I did it was for the girl I loved, and there is nothing to regret. I believe in fate, so don't blame yourself, really, Jing'an."
"Testify against me and clear Dong Mingyang's name." He squeezed my hand hard. "I want you to be with me at such an important moment."
"Jono——"
I raised my head, my eyes were full of tears.
Before I fell in love with him, I thought that love was a fruitless and meaningless game.
In the tug-of-war over time, the two people compete to see who will stop loving first, who will leave first, who will fall down first because of the pain, and who will be free and brave enough to leave first.
I was afraid of such a cruel ending, so I rejected love. But now I realize that the pain in love is not just this kind. Sometimes, loving each other too much is the most desperate torture.
I sent the person I loved away with my own hands, and watched him lose his freedom, his comfortable life, and his bright future because of me. That feeling was as painful as if my skin was being peeled off and my tendons were being pulled out.
And I am about to do these things.
Even though my hands are clean now, I feel like they are stained with blood that can never be washed clean. I destroyed two young men, I destroyed them with my own hands.
"Jing'an, don't hesitate, this is our only choice."
With tears in his eyes, he pressed those familiar numbers and whispered to me: "I love you, Jing'an."
Qiao Nuo and I stared at each other, our lips moving in and out, but we still didn't have the courage to make a sound.
"Jing'an, don't hesitate." he urged.
I closed my eyes resignedly and planned to do as he said, but what we didn't expect was that the door of the private room was opened at this moment. Several burly men in black suits rushed in at this moment, snatched the phone and threw it to the ground. Then, the group of people dragged Qiao Nuo away, while the other two were responsible for suppressing me.
It all happened so suddenly that my mind went blank. Everything seemed to slow down. I couldn't hear any sound. I only knew that Qiao Nuo struggled to break free, but was still taken away. The two men held me down while I cried. Their expressionless faces looked like animals without any emotion.
I don't know how long it took, but I finally heard the outside world again. I lay on the sofa, panting heavily, and the two men gradually let go of me. They stood in front of me again, and one of them had a voice that was so cold that it had no temperature.
"Ms. Su, I think you should understand what you should and shouldn't do. If you insist on doing it, the consequences will be disastrous. No matter what, you have to consider your mother."
I knew what he was talking about, but I didn't have the strength to get up. I could only lie on the sofa and gasp helplessly. All this happened like a tornado. I was at the disaster site, at a loss.
After these words of warning, they left me completely. I could no longer hold back my tears, which flowed down my cheeks like heavy rain.
We try so hard to live, but in the end we are just two tiny specks of dust in the sky, either drifting with the flow or disappearing with the wind.
Everything you want in this world has a price.
Not to mention love.
When we left the café, it started to rain.
I stepped on the rain on the road, like a person without any sense, walking in the rain. And at this moment, Guan Xia called me. I mechanically pressed the answer button.
"Su Jing'an, I'm calling you now for no other reason. I think you know Qiao Nuo's situation, and it's because of you that Qiao Nuo was dragged into this situation. If you have a little conscience, I think you know what to do."
Guan Xia's voice was so cold that it was devoid of any human touch. He must have known all the truth from the Qiao family and chose to protect Qiao Nuo.
But Guan Yue obviously knew nothing about it.
How could he dare to tell Guan Yue, who loved Dong Mingyang so much?
"Although I respect Qiao Nuo's decision and helped him meet you, you can see now that his father has come forward. If you continue to be stubborn, the consequences will be disastrous. As for Dong Mingyang, I will find the best lawyer to defend him, and the Qiao family will also use all their money to help him solve the problem. So, Su Jingan, I believe you also hope to be with Qiao Nuo again - Qiao Nuo hasn't figured it out now, but he will figure it out. Dong Mingyang took the responsibility, and it was just an ordinary wounding case, but once it involved Qiao Nuo, the only heir of the Qiao family, the media would swarm in like bloodthirsty sharks. Public opinion will get out of control... Su Jingan, do you want to see Qiao Nuo fall into an irreparable situation?"
Guan Xia told me clearly and coldly.
How could I not know what he said? I understand it better than anyone else, but I am also more powerless than anyone else. I myself don’t know what to do now.
"I don't want Qiao Nuo to get into trouble. Dong Mingyang is also innocent. Even if someone needs to take the blame, that person should be me."
"I really don't know what to do, Guan Xia, what should I do?" I choked.
"What should we do? Things have come to this point," Guan Xia's voice lost a little of its coldness, "We will try our best to help Dong Mingyang. Don't worry, you are not alone. We will definitely protect these two people."
"Fate will give us the most fair result."
"But what we are doing now is the wrong thing..."
I murmured, but the call was disconnected.
I turned my head and saw my extremely embarrassed appearance clearly reflected in the glass of the cafe window. I smiled, but it was uglier than crying.
Su Jingan, all this is because of you, you don't deserve a good ending.
You do not deserve.
The rain didn't stop until evening.
My dark blue canvas shoes were wet, and the hem of my pink skirt was stained with sporadic raindrops. I stood at the door of Pizza Hut, waiting alone for Guan Yue to arrive.
We had agreed to go see Dong Mingyang together. A few days ago, I went to his home and got him some clothes. My grandmother was not at home at that time, so I did not tell her what happened. The reason why I did not go to see him in the past two days was, in the final analysis, to avoid him. I did not dare to explain his whereabouts to his grandmother, nor did I dare to face the miserable situation he was facing. As long as I saw him, I would feel that I should go to hell.
But escape is not a solution after all, you have to face what you have to face.
A red sports car stopped in front of me, Guan Yue rolled down the window and asked me to get in.
Ignoring the heavy rain, I ran over holding my clothes tightly. When I sat in the passenger seat, I realized that Guan Yue looked like she had just cried. Her makeup was a little off, and her lipstick had fallen off and she didn't put it back on. She was different from me. She was a girl with a heavy "goddess burden" and had to look like a "goddess" whenever she went out. I took out the lipstick from my bag and handed it to her, tentatively asking, "Do you want to wipe it off? Your lips are sore."
"No more, that's all." She sniffed, "I went to see Dong Mingyang during the day."
After hearing this, my hand was suspended in mid-air, not knowing whether to put it down or to retract it.
"He must be very angry with me because I didn't even go to see him." I laughed at myself, "I am the most heartless person in the world."
"He's not doing well. He's lost a lot of weight."
When Guan Yue mentioned him, she was full of heartache, but I didn't dare to tell her who I had met and what secrets I had hidden. These shameful secrets took root in my heart and grew into thorny vines, entangled and hurt me every minute and every second.
"But at least, when he saw me, his attitude became much better than before." At this point, Guan Yue burst into laughter again, "Thinking of this, I suddenly don't want to take you to see him anymore."
"Guan Yue, I——"
"I'm just kidding," she said nonchalantly, "He'll feel better after seeing you. I know."
Half an hour later, we arrived at where Dong Mingyang was.
It is indeed as Guan Yue said, cold and heartless, full of hopelessness.
I held the bag of clothes, resisted the urge to cry, and walked towards Dong Mingyang step by step. Guan Yue seemed to be avoiding something and did not come over, leaving the space for us. Dong Mingyang, who was originally sitting on the ground, saw that it was me and couldn't believe it at first. Then, his face, which looked tired and weathered, suddenly smiled.
"Jing'an!" His voice couldn't be more friendly even through the railing.
"Yeah, yeah, Dong Mingyang." I really couldn't control my tears. My nose started to feel sour and tears started to flow. "I brought you some clean clothes to change into. They are all your favorite ones."
"Okay, okay." He nodded and took the clothes. "I'm glad you can come to see me."
It would have been fine if he hadn't said that, but when he did I cried even harder.
"Why are you so stupid? It's obviously because of me. I'm so heartless, but you're still happy. Dong Mingyang, tell me if you owed me something in your previous life, so you're willing to help me pay it back in this life!"
"Maybe, I may have done something to let you down in my past life." He joked, his eyes moistening. "By the way, how is my grandma? Is she doing well recently? Don't tell her about me yet, she won't be able to bear it. During this period of time, please help me take good care of her. If she asks about me, please help me lie to her."
"She's doing fine at home, don't worry, I'll take good care of her. You don't have to worry about anything at home."
"I'm sorry, I will try my best to clear your name." I wanted to say everything in my heart, but as soon as the words came out, they became extremely clumsy.
"Oh, it's not a big deal. I've been through a lot more than this. Jing'an, don't worry too much. The Qiao family's lawyer has come to see me and said he will definitely help me. Guan Xia also promised me." He reached out and ruffled my hair. "You have to be kind-hearted. Look at you, you'll get sick sooner or later."
"Dong Mingyang, I'm sorry, I owe you too much." I suppressed my tears and even bit my palm. At this time, he still comforted me with a smile, but he was obviously the one in trouble.
He always had this kind of magic. When the sky fell, as long as he spoke, everything would be much easier. What he said was not without reason. With the help of Xia and Qiao's family, things could still turn around. Moreover, it was Ai and that bastard who were wrong in the first place. As long as the lawsuit was well won, everything could be solved.
I deceived myself by thinking this.
If I didn't think this way, I wouldn't be able to sit in front of him for even a second.
"There is nothing in this world that cannot be overcome, you have to believe me. In fact, I am not afraid of these things. At most, I will still be a good man in 18 years. Besides, it won't take that long."
"I'm just afraid that you can't be well. I know your personality. You tend to dwell on trivial matters and don't like to tell others your worries. I'm afraid that you will get sick again. This is what I fear the most. It's okay to cry. Crying is better than not crying."
Looking up, his eyes were firm and gentle. He was still himself, the big tree that protected me from the wind and rain, and he never changed even in the storm. Why was he the one who had to go through the storm, and he was also the one who smiled and comforted me?
"Okay, I promise you, I won't get sick, and even if I do, I will take my medicine properly. I will do everything I can to help you win the lawsuit, and you have to be well too."
"Yeah, that's right." He smiled and sighed, then looked at Guan Yue in the distance, "Thank her for me. I, Dong Mingyang, have lived so long and never felt that I owed anyone anything. She is the only one. She is a good girl, a really good girl."
"Okay." I nodded and handed over the food that Guan Yue bought for him. Guan Yue didn't want to look at him anymore. She knew that she couldn't stand her emotions. So she stood far away, just to vaguely see his figure.
"Remember to help me take care of grandma!" he reminded me again and again, patting my head.
After talking to Dong Mingyang, I felt a little more relaxed.
Guan Yue finally couldn't control herself and went over to talk to him. The two of them chatted happily, and perhaps infected by this atmosphere, I also felt a lot happier.
Maybe, like they say, everything will be fine.
There is nothing that cannot be overcome.
When Guan Yue and I came out of our visit to Dong Mingyang, we were in a much calmer mood. She rarely said to me, Su Jingan, I'm hungry. It would have been fine if she hadn't said it, but once she said it, I started to feel hungry too. Thinking carefully, we hadn't had a proper meal these days.
After thinking about it, I suggested to her that we go together to visit Dong Mingyang's grandmother.
Guan Yue would immediately become interested whenever anything related to Dong Mingyang was mentioned, not to mention his only grandmother. The two of us hit it off immediately, she stepped on the accelerator, and we ran towards grandma. After buying a lot of vegetables and meat at a nearby supermarket, she and I knocked on the door of Dong Mingyang's house briskly. Before that, Guan Yue specially re-applied her makeup and also covered up my red and swollen eyes a little. When grandma opened the door and saw that it was me, she smiled and quickly pulled us in.
"Grandma, this is a friend of mine and Dong Mingyang's. Her name is Guan Yue. She is here to cook for you today."
I introduced her to my grandmother solemnly. Guan Yue was also a smart little girl. She approached my grandmother and greeted her affectionately . My grandmother liked her very much and they soon became familiar with each other.
Grandma has been home alone recently and the house is so quiet. When we arrived, she was obviously very happy.
Guan Yue and I carried the dishes to the kitchen and planned to cook a good meal.
"You go and chat with grandma, and you can also learn more about Dong Mingyang. I can cook by myself." I pushed Guan Yue out.
"Are you going to handle so many dishes by yourself? No, no, let me help you, and we can go find grandma later." Guan Yue disagreed.
"I've already told you, it's okay. I often cook for a whole table of people by myself. Go talk to grandma. I feel like you're doing more harm than good here."
"...Okay, then I'll go and accompany grandma." She patted me and finally left.
In fact, I have a plan in mind. Although Dong Mingyang has a good idea, he listens to grandma. Since my words don't work, he will always listen to grandma's words. Guan Yue and grandma are familiar with each other, and grandma likes her, so she will naturally treat her as her granddaughter-in-law. When the time comes, Guan Yue will have plenty of excuses to come here to see grandma, and Dong Mingyang will not be able to hide.
Thinking of this, I couldn't help but laugh.
Maybe, when Dong Mingyang comes out, he and Guan Yue can develop a good relationship.
But as I smiled, my heart began to cool again.
I often can’t help but think of the beautiful future, but the thorny road under my feet always reminds me that the suffering is not over yet.
If God opens his eyes and has mercy on me, and fortunately allows us to get through this, I swear that from now on, I must be a good person and cherish my life.
I finished cooking several dishes as the laughter came from the other end of the living room.
I have to say that Guan Yue is really good at dealing with others. In such a short time, grandma told her a lot of things, and they even looked at Dong Mingyang's childhood photos together.
Speaking of which, when I first came to his house, I was timid and didn't want to say a word. If it weren't for my grandmother's tolerance of me, I don't think I would have been able to feel the warmth that didn't belong to me.
Seeing that I had prepared the food, Guan Yue immediately came over to help. The two of them worked much faster, and soon, the food was on the table.
Almost all of them were dishes that grandma and Guan Yue liked to eat. Guan Yue saw the dishes on the table, was stunned for a moment, and then smiled awkwardly. She asked in a hoarse voice, why are they all my favorite dishes?
I didn't say anything, just smiled awkwardly.
After wiping my hands, I quickly went over to help my grandma sit down. I didn't dare look into Guan Yue's eyes, for I was afraid that I would cry if I looked at her. I had already cried enough, and if I cried any more I was afraid that I would go blind.
Actually, I am not very good at expressing my feelings. Guan Yue and I have been friends for so many years, but it was Guan Yue who took the initiative. If she hadn't taken the initiative, I'm afraid I wouldn't even have a friend. But I have never told Guan Yue how important she is to me.
How important is he? Probably as important as Dong Mingyang and Qiao Nuo. However, these three people occupy different positions.
One of them is love, the other is family affection, and Guan Yue is my most important friendship.
The reason why I was on the verge of a mental breakdown was not only because of Dong Mingyang and Qiao Nuo, but also partly because of her. If she hated me, if she knew the truth I was hiding, she would never be able to be as close to me as before. This was not a pain that was stabbed with a knife, but a pain that was dense and continuous, and could not be reversed.
I don’t know what will become of her and me in the future, but let’s cherish every moment.
She must have known these emotions. That's why she looked embarrassed. Sometimes, what hurts more is not a clean break, but a gradual deterioration, which eventually disappears.
The three of us sat down around the table, and grandma smiled very happily. I told her that Dong Mingyang had started a small business in another city and was very busy, so he had no time to go home recently.
Grandma had long been accustomed to Dong Mingyang going out of town to earn some extra money from time to time, so she believed it without thinking . Guan Yue still smiled obediently and said, "Wait until he comes back and teach him a lesson. Who asked him not to accompany you for dinner!"
Then, Guan Yue kicked me under the table and gave me a "smile at me" expression.
Looking up, I said to my grandmother, "Yes, when he comes back, we two will take care of him."
It was almost nine o'clock when we finished our meal.
Guan Yue and I had a clear division of labor. She was responsible for coaxing grandma to sleep, while I was responsible for cleaning up the dishes. Grandma fell asleep quickly, and I quickly cleaned up everything.
At this moment, Guan Yue hurried out of grandma's room, the phone in her hand kept ringing, and she ran directly to the balcony. For some reason, I suddenly became panicked.
She looked very nervous, so I could only think that the call was related to Dong Mingyang.
Wearing a black coat and carrying a bag, I pretended to be calm and sat on the sofa waiting for her.
From this angle, I could vaguely see her thin figure on the balcony. She paced back and forth, and my heart went up and down with her.
About ten minutes later, she finally came out. Her face had an expression that was uglier than crying. I stood up, a little dazed, and walked over to support her as she was about to fall.
"What's wrong?" I lowered my voice.
She closed her eyes resignedly, and two bean-sized tears flowed down her cheeks: "Ai He can't wake up."
"What do you mean you can't wake up?" I pinched her arm subconsciously.
"I'm in a vegetative state, a vegetative state." She lowered her head and covered her face, her hair falling down, and she sobbed softly, "The lawyer said that this is difficult to deal with. After hearing what he said, I called Ai Qing, and Ai Qing scolded me like crazy, and then said-"
"What?" My voice began to tremble.
"No reconciliation." She looked at me through her hair, her eyes filled with nothing but despair. "She won't reconcile. We can't help Dong Mingyang. He's going to lose his freedom."
Listening to Guan Yue's words in agony, I sat there in a daze, my body stiff as a corpse. I couldn't describe how I felt, I just felt my brain went blank, and then there was a ringing in my ears.
I couldn't hear any sound, I just saw Guan Yue's lips moving and she was crying.
And I started to breathe rapidly and feel dizzy.
Before I fainted, I saw Guan Yue's blurry figure rushing towards me, and her hot tears hit my face hard, carrying a taste of coldness and despair.