The next day, I woke up very early.
Guan Yue was afraid that I would have a breakdown, so she insisted on pulling me to sleep with her. But neither of us could sleep, and we each wrapped ourselves in a blanket and "made pancakes" on the bed.
I actually think we should separate now, because I know Guan Yue will feel even worse when she sees me, and I won't feel better when I see her. Plus, we each have our own burdens, and it's easy for things to turn into a collision.
But she disagreed. At night, she said calmly under the bright moonlight, "Su Jing'an, although I can't manage my emotions towards you now, I can't do anything inhumane. You know, your current state is no different from those of people with depression. I'm afraid that you will be hit by a car and die when you go out, and that you will cry and go to a mental hospital when you are alone. If what you have experienced happened to me, I might not be able to bear it a long time ago. I, Guan Yue, really admire you."
When she said this, I laughed, and my nose started to feel sore, so I covered my head with the quilt and turned my back, not wanting to face her.
“This too shall pass.”
At last, she patted me, as if she was talking to me, or to herself.
After getting up, I quickly packed up and returned alone to the place that I once called home.
Because it was too early, Chen Pei and Su Yuan had not gotten up yet, and only the aunt was busy in the kitchen.
Without disturbing anyone, I went upstairs quietly and packed all my luggage.
I am a girl who lives in simplicity. When I was fifteen, I knew that there would not be a place where I could stay forever, so from then on, I chose to throw away unnecessary things. When I was eighteen, I came back here and brought only a few clothes. I bought and used what I needed for daily life, so when I left, I was clean-handed.
After packing my luggage, I sat on the bed and suddenly felt a tightness in my chest.
Yes, how can I not feel bored? After all, this is where I lived before, and all the furnishings are familiar to me. This time I really have to say goodbye to this home, this home that never belonged to me.
When I think about it carefully, what I am reluctant to give up is not this carefree life, but this home-like feeling.
Now that this illusion has been broken, it's time for me to get ready and choose a new life that suits me.
I'm not that fragile, I told myself softly.
Carrying a small box of luggage, I left the Su family.
It was a misty morning, the suburbs were shrouded in fog and a cold wind was blowing.
I was lucky enough to get on the bus and after about half an hour, I returned to my mother's house.
Now that's my only place to go.
She knew that Su Yuan and I had fallen out, so she said, "Then come back, and mom will live with you." After going through these things, she became much stronger.
Whether it was her eyes or the words she spoke, she seemed like a different person.
How could there be no change? This nearly devastating incident made her, a dodder, finally realize that this was a cruel world. This was a world where the strong preyed on the weak.
In this world, you can't rely on anyone except yourself.
However, what neither she nor I expected was that starting over was not so easy.
Carrying the box, I arrived at the door of my house, and what I saw was a mess.
The small courtyard was in a mess, the door was open, and Lin Fang was crying and cursing. Seeing this, I strode in. When she saw me coming, she wiped her tears and came to help me carry the box.
I glanced around and felt like a huge rock was blocking my heart.
Although it was not a high-end decoration, the interior decoration was clean and bright. But now the house was a mess, what should be smashed was smashed, and what should be scratched was scratched.
There was no place to rest, inside or outside the house. It was obvious that they were being retaliated by those who had borrowed Ai and money.
Maybe it was because I looked too depressed, Lin Fang kept comforting me: "It's okay, it's okay, don't be afraid, mom will clean it up in a while, I also called the police. The police said that the money owed by that bastard has nothing to do with me because I didn't know about it."
"This property certificate is also mine. It doesn't count if he uses it as collateral!"
"Anyway, it's just a nightmare right now. The house is there, and you're there too. That's all!"
She was smiling when she said these words , but I knew she was having a hard time just like me. But besides facing the new life with a smile, what else can we do?
I picked up the broom and said to her like a child who had just learned to laugh, "Let me help you. It will be done soon."
It took us more than two hours to finish the cleaning.
After throwing away the garbage, the whole house became much emptier. Even the tableware for cooking had to be bought again. Lin Fang didn't want me to be tired, so she left me at home to rest and went to buy tableware and vegetables by herself. I behaved very obediently, so that she could feel at ease.
I boiled some water, took a hot bath, changed into clean clothes, and then stood in front of the mirror again.
I suddenly realized that I hadn't looked at myself for a long, long time.
Although it had only been a few days, I had lost a lot of weight, my eyes were dark and lifeless. The fierceness I once had was gone.
I'm not myself anymore.
But this is also the real me.
Patting my face, I told myself to cheer up. No matter who falls, I can't fall down now. I don't have time to indulge in love. I still have a tough battle to fight.
Thinking of this, I immediately found my cell phone and planned to ask my counselor for a few days off.
I don’t know when this storm will pass. Maybe I won’t be able to go back to school for a long time.
However, just as I was thinking about what to say, the phone rang.
The call was from an unfamiliar number. I was stunned for a moment and then picked up the phone.
"Su Jingan, it's me, Guan Xia." The voice on the other end sounded cold and disdainful.
"It's you." I breathed a sigh of relief. For some reason, at this moment, even though I heard this old enemy speaking, I didn't feel any burden .
"To make a long story short, the situation is not good right now. Someone wants to see you. Meet at 3 pm in the innermost private room of the coffee shop that you and Guan Yue often go to. You must come and don't be late." He said it all in one go and hung up the phone easily, as if he was afraid of something.
I held up the hung up phone and my mind went blank for a moment.
one person--
Qiao Nuo, it’s Qiao Nuo who is looking for me!
Please forgive me for going through so much in the past two days. I am exhausted physically and mentally. My mind is not as sharp as before. It took me several seconds to react to this fact. I couldn't control myself. I jumped up from the sofa, and then paced back and forth, muttering to myself.
Three o'clock in the afternoon. Three o'clock in the afternoon.
I don't know what will happen when I meet him, nor do I know what the ending will be for both of us. But when I think that I can see him again, I can't suppress the feeling of hope that flowers and buds bloom from the bottom of my heart. Until now, I understand that sometimes loving someone is destined. The person you love, as long as he appears, will sweep away all the haze in your life. Even if you were being dragged by the clutches of fate a second ago and almost lost your hope in life.
These cannot be replaced by anyone.