For a while afterwards, Mo Xiyi and Lin Xiaozhu rarely appeared. They were like planets gradually moving away from me, going farther and farther away. In all my lives, only you were left - Ye Bihan.
From now on, you will be the focus of my life.
I wake up early every morning, prepare breakfast for Aunt Ye and Uncle Ye, and bring it to the hospital. I prepare different nutritious breakfasts every day, hoping that this will improve their mood.
Both of them have lost a lot of weight. If Xiaohan wakes up and sees that her father and mother have become so haggard, she will definitely be angry with me, so I dare not be vague at all.
Xiaohan, look, everyone is working hard for you. If you don’t work hard to wake up, you will be sorry to everyone.
Not only did I turn down the work at the literature club, I also had almost no time to go to the dry cleaners. My mother has been quite busy lately. In addition to providing meals for several of us, she also has to go to the dry cleaners to work every day.
Almost everyone was busy.
Xiaohan, look, everyone is so busy because of you. Even for our sake, you have to wake up quickly.
Yi Dan would come to see Ye Bihan almost whenever he was free. The previous grievances and entanglements became light and forgotten. Many things can be forgiven, even if he had committed unforgivable crimes.
On the contrary, Mo Xiyi and Lin Xiaozhu never appeared in the hospital again.
It seems like we have temporarily forgotten each other and are living in different dimensions.
Maybe it's a good thing this way, I won't be distracted by any of them anymore.
I once heard someone say that time will solve all problems. So as long as time is long enough, all hatred will be resolved, and the feelings of people who love each other will be diluted by time, and eventually they will just disappear into thin air, and all that will be left is memories.
However, I feel unwilling to accept it when I think of it occasionally. Because the person you loved so much just disappeared from your life; because the friend who was so good to you just stopped visiting you in a flash. It seems that everything turned into a bubble in a flash, disappearing like a dream.
I can only calm myself down. If my heart is still, there will be no pain.
But that period of time has become a blank, a missing code, leaving a broken gap, which makes people feel regretful when looking at it.
If this is the case, I still want to send you my blessings. Even when I am not involved in your life, I still hope you are doing well.
Every time I was in a daze, I would be awakened by Aunt Ye's crying. She would always lie next to Ye Bihan and cry quietly. I could only hold her shoulders and hold her in my arms, and her body would tremble even more violently.
Uncle Ye always sighed heavily at this time, wanting to cry, but he didn't cry in front of me. He turned around and went out helplessly, and came back with red eyes after more than ten minutes.
And I, besides feeling heartbroken, can do nothing but hold her quietly, look at you, and pray silently in my heart that you can get better soon. If you can feel our thoughts and worries, you will get better soon.
Occasionally, if you move your eyes a little, we will eat a full meal and sleep a good night's sleep for it, although the doctor says it is just a normal physiological reaction. But every moment of yours touches our hearts.
Ye Bihan, you know, at that time, I felt that my life was connected with you, and the meaning of my existence every day was to wait for you to become as lively as before one day.
Many days have passed, the leaves have turned yellow, and the fallen leaves have piled up in layers. Autumn has arrived, bleak and desolate. Although it is always said that autumn is the season of harvest, to me, it is boring.
What always comes to my mind is that autumn when I was a child, when you and I went to the orchard together, secretly picked other people's fruits, and were caught in the end.
How happy it was at that time, two little girls with pigtails actually climbed up someone else's tree...
That day, I still arrived at the hospital early.
The expressions of Aunt Ye and Uncle Ye were a little different from usual. Aunt Ye seemed happy, and I was delighted to think that Ye Bihan had woken up.
"Qingtong, the doctor said that there is not much hope if we wait here..."
Boom…
Completely opposite answers.
"But there is a greater chance of recovery through treatment abroad. Your uncle and I plan to take her abroad for treatment." She forced a smile, but tears were welling up in her eyes.
"Qingtong, don't go to the hospital every day. You've worked hard these days." Uncle Ye is not good at expressing himself. He has said very little to me these days, but I can see that he is very upset.
I nodded and walked to Ye Bihan's side. I said to her, "Xiaohan, you are going abroad, although this time you are not going to study...Xiaohan, you have to get treatment well. When you get better, we can go out and have fun together. I will wait for you to come back..."
During the time she was away, I often went back to the restaurants we often went to for dinner, to the bookstores we often went to for reading, and I also tidied up her desk and bed for her.
I'm waiting for her because she could be back any minute.
When I was helping Xiaohan make her bed that day, I received a call from Cai Qihang, and my heart felt warm.
Cai Qihang's voice was still as carefree as ever, and it sounded like he was living a pretty good life.
"Hello? Cheng Qingtong! I'm a piece of cake!"
I felt so happy when I heard his voice. Maybe it was because I had been immersed in my own world for too long and was lonely for too long that I felt so excited.
"What do you mean by a piece of cake? You haven't played games for so long, and you still have the nerve to say that it's a piece of cake for you?"
He chuckled, and then told me his story very seriously.
"Qingtong, I thought that after I started my own business, left my hometown, and said goodbye to the sad place, I would slowly forget her, but I didn't expect that after coming here, I couldn't let her go even more. Later, I called her many times, and the biggest expense every month was the phone bill! I almost didn't dare to eat!"
"So what was the result? Don't tell me you messed it up in the end!"
"Of course not. He Huanhuan has me in her heart. She softened her heart. Although she didn't agree to get back together, she didn't put me on the blacklist. Now we keep in touch every day. I think victory is just around the corner."
I deliberately provoked him: "Come on, where do you get your confidence from? Don't get carried away. If the bride is not He Huanhuan, I will not go to the wedding, and even if I go, I won't get a red envelope!"
"For your red envelope, I will marry her even if it costs my life!"
"Cai Qihang, cherish her and your relationship, because no one knows what will happen in the next second."
After that, there were some daily conversations and small talk, which could never be finished and never get boring. Maybe this is what friends are like.
I just hung up the phone with Cai Qihang when my mother called me. She called me so late at night, so I thought she must have something important to say, so I quickly picked up the phone.
"Aoki-no-tōng!"
When I heard these three words, my heart fell back into my stomach. This opening remark meant that nothing had happened. Recently, there had been several incidents, which had made me a little nervous. I was always worried about what might happen.
"What's wrong, Mom? What's the matter with you calling so late at night?"
"Qingtong, Mom sees that you are too tired these past two days and you are not in a good mood. You should go out and relax. Anywhere is fine. Just don't stay alone all the time. You don't say anything, and I am really worried about you..."
Blah blah blah, there are so many things to say.
But at this time, I no longer feel annoyed. Instead, I feel very warm and happy. After all, at this time, there is still someone who is still talking to me tirelessly.
I obediently agreed to her suggestion, and also felt that it was time for me to go out for a walk, give my mind a break, cheer myself up as soon as possible, and start a new life.
I thought about it for a long time under the quilt, and suddenly a good idea flashed through my mind, and then I sent a text message to Cai Qihang.
I said: Cai Qihang, if I go to City B to see you, will you provide me with food and accommodation?
The reply I received was: Package!!!
Three exclamation marks.
The next day, I packed my bags and prepared to leave. Traveling is a good opportunity to daydream, and I basically spent the whole journey in a daze, but my mind was always full of thoughts and I couldn't calm down.
There must always be a time in life when you can go on a trip on a whim, and I think this is one of them.
When Cai Qihang came to pick me up, he was wearing a casual denim jacket. He looked quite smart, but he seemed to have lost a lot of weight. I saw him walking towards me in the crowd. I waved to him when I saw how hurried he was.
He grinned at me, with a row of white teeth and a bright smile, so kind.
I pushed my luggage into his arms and immediately started teasing him: "Cai Qihang, have your teeth become whiter, or has your skin become darker? If I arrive at the station at night, I will probably only see your row of teeth!"
He laughed out loud, still that hearty laugh as before, but the distraught look he had when they parted was gone.
The next day, he took me to the beach.
I have imagined what the sea would look like: it is turquoise blue, reflecting the sky, boundless, surging and magnificent.
But when I saw it, I was disappointed. It was gray, and I couldn't even see a bit of blue. Looking out, it was indeed endless, but it was not as turbulent and magnificent as Cai Qihang said. It was not high tide yet. When it was high tide, the tide was still very fierce, hitting the shore and making a loud noise.
He shrugged and told me that there is always a gap between dreams and reality.
I told him about what had happened recently. He listened silently, nodding in response from time to time, but didn't say anything.
And I just need such a person, who doesn't need to speak, but can understand all my thoughts just by listening quietly, that's all.
Cai Qihang also told me about his future plans. Listening to his grand ambitions, I became inexplicably excited.
Strolling along the beach, listening to the sound of the waves, reminiscing with old friends, the years are peaceful, and everything is fine.
After returning to City A, I felt much better. My mother was right. If I go out for a walk and relax, and my attitude is good, problems will naturally be solved.
Nearly a month after Lin Xiaozhu disappeared from my world, I received a call from him.
"Hello? What brings you here?"
"Can you joke? Looks like you're almost in a good mood."
"Forget it. I'm in a good mood. If you have something to say, don't keep me in suspense."
"Looking at you like this, you should be back to normal. Yes, I'm going to treat everyone to dinner tonight to celebrate my ending of being single. You must come."
I was shocked and couldn't believe my ears: "What did you say? Celebrating who's ending of being single?"
"Me! Lin Xiaozhu! What's wrong? Are you heartbroken?"
"Stop it, why should I be so heartbroken? It should be those crazy girls who should be feeling the pain!"
"Okay, Cheng Qingtong, you're so cruel. See you at Alan's Restaurant tonight!"
I'm stunned, Lin Xiaozhu, what do you mean by this? You're no longer single, you're coming to eat near our school, and you even have to invite someone you used to like?
Do you want me to witness your happiness? Or do you want to tell me that if I don't want you, there will be people lining up to want you?
Lin Xiaozhu, so childish!
It’s only been over a month since he confessed his love to me, and he got a new girlfriend so soon. It’s hard to imagine that he ever liked me.
However, it is not unusual for a fish like him to have such a short memory, since his memory is only seven seconds. I guess he only has a seven-day memory of me.
Forget it, since I don’t love him, it would be a good thing if he could give up earlier, pursue someone else, and finally get married.
When I arrived, Lin Xiaozhu came out to meet me and took me to the private room. I only said a few words to him from the door to the restaurant.
"Lin Xiaozhu, when did you find a girlfriend? Why didn't you tell me in advance? You did it so suddenly, it makes me very embarrassed. I don't know her at all. Can you introduce her to me in advance?"
"Why introduce yourself in advance? Aren't we already acquainted now? There's nothing awkward about it. You don't know many people in there anyway, so just think of it as making friends."
He returned to his former overbearing and unreasonable self, as if the person who had confessed his love on that rainy day was not him. If you hadn't personally experienced this change in him, no one would believe it if you told it to anyone.
Lin Xiaozhu brought me into a private room and briefly introduced me to everyone: "Everyone, this is my good friend from University A, Cheng Qingtong. We are all friends from now on, so don't be polite!" He was born with a very outgoing temperament, and under his influence, I felt like I had known these people for a long time.
I looked around for a week, and saw that many people were people who had helped me who had been able to get easy before. They were familiar with everyone and greeted everyone enthusiastically. When she stopped on a girl, she seemed to have a strange expression. She didn't want me to have a good relationship with this group of people. New Huan.
She was wearing heavy makeup, a green jacket and a white skirt, which outlined her curvy figure. I was not surprised that Lin Xiaozhu liked such a girl, but I was surprised that he had liked me before. Ding Chu would look at me from time to time. Maybe she also knew about the relationship between Lin Xiaozhu and me. I pretended to be calm and gave her a friendly smile from time to time. She responded to me happily in the same way. When she smiled, the dimples on her face would appear.
Ding Chu is very beautiful, no wonder Lin Xiaozhu changed her mind so quickly. I turned my head and whispered to Lin Xiaozhu's ear: "You have good taste, kid, seize the opportunity, I wish you happiness..."
Lin Xiaozhu frowned and didn't want to talk to me, as if I owed him tens of thousands of dollars. I ignored him and continued to eat my meal. Since you invited me here, you just wanted me to eat something good, so why should I mind it? Besides, what else can I do in such an occasion except having a good meal?
Are you going to fight Ding Chu for 300 rounds? I am tired even if you are not! I am tired in my heart!
After that, I sat in a corner, not next to Lin Xiaozhu, and certainly not next to Ding Chu. Sitting alone in a corner quietly and comfortably is a good way to relax. Everyone at the table was talking, and the scene was very lively. His friends stood up from time to time to toast him, with very far-fetched reasons, saying that they wished him and Ding Chu a long and happy life together.
When I heard that, I was very happy. If he and his wife could grow old together, then even a sow could climb a tree and stay together forever.
Afterwards, some people wished him a son soon. I believe this. Although he has no one he truly loves, there are indeed a lot of people who are willing to bear children for him. At this time, I just want to say to him, young man, don't seek death or you will die. God is watching you.
Although I was thinking a lot, I didn't say a word and just ate. I am such an extra person with an extra identity, and this is the only reason I came here. Although I was despised and hated by everyone, what could I do?
I can only say leisurely that you don’t understand the world of foodies.
Most of the disdainful looks came from Lin Xiaozhu. Whenever he glared at me, I would glare back at him with the same ferocious look, and then curse him a thousand times in my heart, "You called me here as a heroine, so why don't you let me eat you?"
Then he shook his head helplessly, and met Ding Chu's gaze again, and then his eyes softened instantly...
I could only roll my eyes and continue eating.
Later, after everyone got drunk, they started to run around. Ding Chu sat down in front of me very enthusiastically. This girl didn't look like a good girl. She seemed to be able to drink a lot. She always bossed around other friends, but she was very polite and enthusiastic to me. Lin Xiaozhu and I were friends, and he had helped me a lot before, so I always took good care of Ding Chu, adding some tea to her from time to time to make her drink less. During the meal, Ding Chu would sit next to me and accompany me. Most of the time, she would stick to Lin Xiaozhu, and act cute from time to time.
What makes me even more speechless is that this guy can act cute and act coquettishly if he wants, but why does he have to sneak a glance at me from time to time?
What puzzles me is that she is a girl who looks very strong and scheming, but she plays the role of a naive girl next to Lin Xiaozhu. Isn't she tired?
I could see through her acting skills at a glance, so couldn’t Lin Xiaozhu see it himself?
Can such love last?
Well, Lin Xiaozhu and I are not the same kind of people. We have different views on life and love. I don't want to get involved in what he thinks. I can't even manage my own little piece of land, so what qualifications do I have to participate in other people's love life? Just go your own way and let others talk.
All I can say is, I wish you happiness.
Not long after that, I received a text message from Ding Chu, saying that she wanted to invite me to the wax museum. I was confused, thinking, she and Lin Xiaozhu were going to the wax museum, and she asked me to go, is this appropriate?
When I thought about being a light bulb again, I felt uncomfortable. When you two couples were going to pay off your family, why did you drag me, a single dog, into the mix? Isn't it enough that I, a single dog, am being abused by Mo Xi every day? I also have to be abused by you two irrelevant people? But I really can't think of any reason to refuse. Is it because I'm afraid that you, Ding Chu, will show off your affection in front of me? Or is it because I care about you, Lin Xiaozhu! None of them!
Thinking of this, I couldn't help but feel sad, because Ye Bihan was not around and I didn't even have anyone to give me advice.
But I agreed in the end. If I didn't go, it would seem that I was petty and not presentable.
When I arrived, Ding Chu was already standing at the stairs. I waved to her, and she enthusiastically called me over. We both knew how much of this enthusiasm was real and how much was fake, but we just didn't expose it or explain it.
I walked up to her and looked around, and found that Lin Xiaozhu had not arrived yet. It was clearly a date for three people, but the man was late, and the heroine was the first to arrive. This was too unreasonable.
"Xiaozhu is probably going to be late again. Sorry to bother you Qingtong. We may have to wait for him."
No matter what, you still have to do enough to save face.
I quickly said, "What's the problem? He's always like this. I'm used to it!" After I said that, I suddenly realized that I had said the wrong thing.
It's not good that his friends are more familiar with his habits than his girlfriend. I guess it will hurt Miss Ding's fragile heart again.
Cheng Qingtong, are you stupid?
I saw the bag on her shoulder was about to slide down, my mind suddenly tensed, and I immediately reached out to catch it, but before the bag was up and my hand just touched her shoulder, she slid diagonally down the stairs.
Damn, Ding Chu, are you a paper man? You'll fall down if I touch you!
Of course, I cursed in my heart.
And our great hero Lin Xiaozhu suddenly appeared from behind and grabbed Ding Chu's arm. At that time, I suddenly felt that this couple teamed up to bully me and set a trap for me, waiting for me to jump into it.
Ding Chu stood up aggrievedly, holding her bruised arm, and hid behind Lin Xiaozhu. From her gesture, I knew at a glance that she was going to frame me.
She is indeed a scheming bitch.
The philandering young man and the scheming bitch are a perfect match.
But it’s all thanks to Lin Xiaozhu, at least he has a kind heart.
At least when I knew him, he was kind, but now after being influenced by this "scheming bitch", I'm not sure.
I could almost recite Ding Chu's next lines without even thinking about them.
"Qingtong... Even if you are unwilling to accept that Xiaozhu changed his mind so quickly, why didn't you cherish him in the first place? Since you didn't cherish him and just let him go, you shouldn't be angry at me and hurt me now..."
I wanted to slap her in the face when I saw her acting so pretentiously, but I had no way to do it since Lin Xiaozhu, the big fool, was standing in front of her. But I thought carefully, even if I fought Ding Chu alone, I might not be able to beat her.
So, I gave up decisively and turned around and left. In this day and age, you can't get angry with a fool, otherwise you will be angry to death every day. I chose to run away, but if I could say to Lin Xiaozhu in a coquettish voice like Ding Chu at that time, "Xiaozhu, I really didn't push her, she fell because she didn't stand firmly", would the ending be better? I wouldn't have suffered so much in vain...
I regret that Ye Bihan is not with me, I don't even have anyone to talk to. Cai Qihang is so far away, and the phone calls are long-distance. By the time I finish speaking, I guess my phone bill for this month will be gone.
If God wants to destroy me, I have to destroy myself.
So who else?
Moxie?
Where is he now? Does he still remember that there is a me in this world?
When I mention him now, I feel so unfamiliar with him that I can't even speak to him.
In the afternoon, Lin Xiaozhu suddenly called me. I was delighted, thinking that this guy still had a conscience and called me to comfort me.
"Qingtong, I'm downstairs in your dormitory, please come down for a moment." The voice was very calm, and it was impossible to tell what he wanted to do.
"Ah? You are downstairs of my dormitory? What's the matter that requires you to make a trip? It's not a big deal, you don't have to take it to heart!" At that time, I was still foolishly comforting him, but later I thought, Cheng Qingtong, are you stupid?
"Come on down, I'm here."
His tone was very serious, and he didn't seem to be here to comfort or apologize. I was a little confused. I put on my clothes and didn't tidy up my messy hair, and hurried downstairs. I always regarded him as a friend who I could meet without washing my hair. This kind of friend can be considered a good friend. But you, Lin Xiaozhu, really let me down.
He was leaning against a Metasequoia tree, his body tilted, one leg bent, and his expression looked very cool. I walked up to him with a smile and said in a relaxed and cheerful manner: "You are already old, but you still know how to act cool!"
He kept his eyes on my feet and kept his head down. When he saw me speak, he slowly raised his head: "Qingtong, go and apologize to Ding Chu."
Qingtong, go and apologize to Ding Chu...
I couldn't quite believe my ears, and I didn't believe that these were words spoken by Lin Xiaozhu.
The corners of his mouth twitched, and he just wanted to go up and give him another big slap in the face.
Ever since I saw him and Ding Chu together, I've been wanting to slap someone in the face. You guys really make me worried.
"What did you say?" I asked again.
"I say, go and apologize to Ding Chu." He gritted his teeth and repeated what he had just said, without missing a word.
Not missing a single word.
I cursed him in my heart, but I was smiling. I could hardly tell whether it was a wry smile, a bitter smile, or a helpless smile. Lin Xiaozhu, we have been friends for many years, and now you want me to apologize for a woman like that.
He looked at my strange expression and spoke his defense seriously: "I know you are angry, but I am not Mo Xiyi. I don't have so many delicate emotions. I only know that I should apologize to whoever is wrong, and I have to side with whoever is important. I am a person who seeks profit and avoids harm. This is not the first day you have known me."
He shook his head and said this heartlessly, then glanced at me gently. Seeing that I didn't react, he continued, "Since you rejected me, I was very self-aware and didn't bother you for another minute. If you don't like me, there will be people who do. I will eventually find someone to fall in love with. Don't be so selfish. Once Mo Xi rejected you, you want to keep me as a backup."
I smiled coldly. It turns out that selfish people will think that others are as selfish as they are.
I looked at his face and suddenly felt extremely unfamiliar.
I didn't want to refute any of his aggressive remarks.
Lin Xiaozhu, go to hell. I, Cheng Qingtong, will never apologize even if I jump off a building.
"Lin Xiaozhu, are you sick? I, Cheng Qingtong, know what kind of person you are, but don't you, Lin Xiaozhu, know what kind of person I am? If you want to play the game of feelings, play it by yourself, play it well, and don't drag me along if you can't play well. Sorry, I won't accompany you. I don't have that much time to play with you!"
You have never thought that the person who once loved you so much would bring a knife and cut a wound in your heart, and he would turn a blind eye to the blood flowing from you.
I thought that since I loved you so deeply, even if I missed you, it would be beautiful when I think of you. I don't want to hurt you, and I don't want to see you cry.
It turns out that it was just my assumption.
So Lin Xiaozhu, am I so unbearable in your heart?
Am I such a petty person who cannot give blessings to others?
How much of the love you once told me was true and how much was false?
I was so angry that tears almost fell out. If the tiger doesn't show its power, do you think I'm a sick cat?
I just hate myself for being too cowardly and not throwing back that slap until now.
Ye Bihan, did you see that? When you were not around, everyone came to cause trouble for me.
If you see it, wake up quickly. I want you to avenge me.
I heard from Yi Dan that Mo Xiyi's mother was sick again and was hospitalized. I really wanted to go see her, to see her current physical condition, and also to know what the marriage she had been looking forward to has brought her.
Besides, Aunt Mo and I have some friendship, so it is natural for me to go and see her now. When Ye Bihan was sick, Mo Xiyi also came to visit her, so I should reciprocate the favor now.
Of course, the reason I didn’t even want to admit was that I actually wanted to meet Mo Xiyi.
It's been so long since I last saw him...
Strangely enough, I never ran into him again after that, and it was so long that I almost forgot his face.
Even if I can only see him once, it will fulfill one of my wishes.
Well, I still can't let it go.
After all, I am still the loser in love.
When I arrived at the hospital, Aunt Mo was lying peacefully on the bed, and it was hard to tell whether the expression on her face was happy or unhappy.
There was a man sitting next to him, his features looked somewhat like Mo Xiyi's. I guess he was Mo Xiyi's father.
I greeted them. Aunt Mo sat up when she saw that it was me. Uncle Mo put a pillow in place for her so that she could sit as comfortably as possible.
"You guys chat first, I'll go out and buy you some food." Uncle Mo said this and went out, and there was no chance for us to have any more contact.
Although Uncle Mo is a little old, he looks very energetic and handsome, and has the charm of a mature man.
It can be seen that Aunt Mo was also a great beauty when she was young, but time was merciless and made her age quickly. In addition, she was frail. She was also a typical family-oriented wife and mother, and did not have that much energy to keep a man.
If such a man and such a woman live together, separation and divorce are inevitable unless they truly love each other deeply.
I can almost imagine that when they were at home, Aunt Mo must have done her best to serve him.
Yes, he needs such a comfortable life, but not only that.
When two people are young, good-looking, and have the energy to do something, nothing is a problem.
After a long time, the person who is still energetic will despise the old and ugly person.
Of course, all this is just my guess, and I cannot rule out the possibility that Uncle Mo has really met "true love".
It is easy for two people to meet and get to know each other, but it is too difficult to understand each other and stay together.
Life is so long, who can avoid unexpected events?
And these accidents are the various levels set to test love and marriage.
Whether you can survive depends on two people. If either person lets go, it means failure.
It turns out love is so difficult.
Thinking of the love between mom and dad, although dad passed away early, mom always has him in her heart and their love has always been there.
After chatting with Aunt Mo for a while, I asked about Mo Xiyi.
"Aunt, why didn't Senior Mo come today?"
Aunt Mo smiled knowingly and looked into my eyes, as if she could see through me: "Child, I knew what you wanted to ask the moment you walked in. I'm sorry you kept it to yourself for so long."
My face turned red immediately.
Aunt Mo looked worried and went on, "Xiaoxi has been sick these past two days and has a fever. I'm in bed and can't take care of him, and his father... Alas!" She sighed, feeling quite helpless.
"Qingtong, I'm fine, you don't have to worry about me. If you have time, go and see Xiaoxi. This child is too sensible, which makes me worried." She smiled at me, her eyes, although engraved with a few crow's feet, were bright.
She has a clear mind and probably knew what I was thinking a long time ago, which is why she encouraged me like this.
I nodded, my heart pounding.
On the way to his dormitory, I thought a lot. Maybe he was also worried about things at home recently, so I didn't have the chance to meet him for so long.
When we got downstairs to the boys' dormitory, I used the literary club's affairs as an excuse to convince the gatekeeper, and the gatekeeper took the opportunity to slip in.
I, Cheng Qingtong, am really willing to sacrifice myself. For you, Mo Xiyi, I even had to break into the boys' dormitory.
Everyone in the building stared at me as if they had seen some strange species, so I had no choice but to lower my head and walk all the way to your dormitory.
I knocked a few times but received no response. I found the door was not locked, so I pushed it open and went in.
The door creaked, a sound that sounded like that coming from an old house.
The curtains in the room were drawn and the lights were dim.
I looked around and thought there was no one, so my eyes finally stopped on your bed, and then I saw you with your eyes closed and brows slightly furrowed.
How big must your trouble be to make you frown even in your dreams?
I haven't seen you since the last time I looked at you through the window in the hazy rain. It's only been a few months, have you become so haggard?
I sat quietly beside his bed and noticed that his forehead was covered with sweat. I reached out my hand to feel it and found that it was burning hot. I started to panic.
"Moxiyi! Moxiyi?" I shook his body, trying to wake him up. He was mumbling in his sleep, but I couldn't hear what he was saying.
"Senior Mo? Wake up quickly! You have a fever, did you know that?" I was anxious and uneasy. Seeing him in pain made me feel very uncomfortable. All the grievances I had suffered in front of him before seemed to have disappeared at this moment.
"Qingtong?" He finally opened his eyes, and when he saw it was me, his face was full of suspicion, "Why is it you? Am I dreaming?"
"Senior Mo, you are not dreaming. I am Qingtong. Listen to me. You need to get up right now. I will take you to see a doctor."
He sat up at my request, and did not resist my suggestion to go to the hospital. Instead, he obediently put on his shoes.
Perhaps he was feeling very uncomfortable, which was why he was so obedient.
"I wanted to wake up several times, but it was as if someone was pulling me and I couldn't wake up at all. If it weren't for you, I think my brain would have burned out." After saying that, he forced a faint smile at me.
"Senior Mo, it's already this time and you're still joking. I've never seen you so fond of telling jokes before!" I scolded him in my tone, but my hands never stopped moving. I helped him put on his shoes and helped him stand up.
After shaking for a few times, he pretended to be relaxed and said, "Thank you Qingtong, I can go to the doctor by myself, you don't have to worry about me."
I felt helpless and very angry. His fever was already very high, but he just pushed aside the people who cared about him.
"Don't say anything. I will accompany you to the school hospital. Don't worry, I will leave after accompanying you to the hospital and will not disturb you." My voice was stubborn and did not allow him to refuse.
He looked at my stubborn look and said nothing more.
It was silent all the way.
What a coincidence, I ran into Lin Xiaozhu head-on.
I was a little surprised that he would show up in our school at this time and run into me and Mo Xi by chance.
When Lin Xiaozhu saw us together and my hand was holding Mo Xiyi's arm, his face, which was originally full of enthusiasm, suddenly became lonely.
I don't want to explain, and I'm too lazy to explain. After seeing him, I just want to walk away.
He caught up with me and grabbed my arm. I tried to shake him off but he held me tightly.
Mo Xiyi walked aside silently.
I said to him in a bad mood, "Lin Xiaozhu, I don't have time to play with you, and I'm even less likely to apologize. If you're here because of this, then we shouldn't be friends anymore. Compared to an apology, Ding Chu should want me to break up with you."
He looked at me, his pupils flickering with apology: " I'm sorry Qingtong."
I shook off his hand: "No need, I don't want it." My tone was a little better than before.
"It was only later that I understood what had happened. I didn't expect Ding Chu to fall down the stairs by himself. After all, the probability of this happening is very small."
"So you think that the probability of me pushing her down is higher?"
"I thought you accidentally pushed her down. After all, from my angle I could see that you did push her..."
I was helpless: "Do you still think I pushed her? Are you still trying to find excuses for yourself? Lin Xiaozhu, you are too selfish."
"Qingtong, that's not what I meant. Ding Chu... wanted to see how much she meant to me, so he wrote and directed this play. I also... only found out about it later."
I smiled bitterly.
I still have to admit that women are always so naive.
Ding Chu, in love, whoever loses patience first loses. Look at you, you still lose in the end.
And I, Cheng Qingtong, have never won since the beginning.
My thoughts gradually floated in the air again. I remembered the stupid things I had done for love. What was the difference between me and Ding Chu at this moment? But we were both people who lost ourselves in love. In the end, I still had to forgive her.
"Lin Xiaozhu, you like me and you really do, but in the end, at the most crucial moment, you still choose not to believe me."
Lin Xiaozhu wanted to speak, but found that he had no words to refute, and what I said was also the truth.
"Xiaozhu, you should know now that we are not suitable for each other. Not only as lovers, but sometimes we can't even be friends."
"Qingtong, this time it was my negligence, because I still care about you, because I am still angry about your rejection of me, and I was confused, so I misunderstood you. I admit that in many cases, I am not worthy of you. My casualness and selfishness are enough reasons for you to reject me, but I still hope that we can be friends."
His attitude was very serious, as if he had returned to the serious Lin Xiaozhu.
I really wanted to trust him, but I just couldn't respond positively.
I nodded, said nothing more, and turned and left.
I walked up to Mo Xi and whispered to him, "Let's go!" and never looked back.
I can imagine Lin Xiaozhu's expression after he watched us leave, but this expression will definitely not be the end for him. He will get better soon and will soon enter into a new relationship.
To him, all this was just a small fragment of his youth, and I was just a small role among so many people.
But I'm different.
In my youth, all I see are photos of one person, stories of one person, and documentaries of one person.
We are destined to be people from two different worlds.
Goodbye, Lin Xiaozhu.
Lin Xiaozhu, I wish you happiness.