After Xu Shihan broke up with Yu Xia, she resigned. When she explained the reason for the breakup to the company, she said that their personalities were incompatible, and she did not say that it was my fault.
I am grateful for everything she has done, and I feel even more guilty.
All of this may fool people who are unaware of the situation, but it cannot fool Mo Zhun.
He asked me to meet him alone at a coffee shop I had been to before, and the first thing he said after we met was: "You two are together, right?"
I knew I couldn't hide it from him, so I nodded.
He then asked: "Can you tell me your whole story now?"
There was no way I could refuse Mo Zhun 's request, so I told him everything that had happened over the years, from my father's death to high school, college, the pain on my birthday, and Sheng Yinuo's departure. It took me a long time to finish telling you all this, and he just listened quietly without interrupting.
This is the first time in all these years that I have told these to others, and after saying it all out, I felt a sense of relief that I had never felt before.
"After listening to what you said, I can't blame you." He paused and said, "Su Bei, I just hope you can be happy, and you and Yu Xia can be happy forever."
"Thanks."
"Can I hug you? From now on, we are just friends, and I will no longer have any fantasies." Mo Zhun stretched and gave me a bright smile.
"Yeah." He walked up to me and hugged me carefully, his movements were very gentle. After a short hug, he stepped back, "I'll take you home!"
"No need, I'll go back by myself."
After leaving Mo Zhun, my senior schoolmate called me and scolded me. Only then did I realize how Mo Zhun felt about me.
When we first met, he noticed me, who was accompanying a senior student on a blind date. During the meal, I spent most of the time in a daze, occasionally looking out the window and smiling inexplicably. This made him curious.
Later we gradually became familiar with each other, from the initial curiosity to later liking each other. He has always made me happy in his own way, but every time I would give him a great sense of frustration.
Later I met Yu Xia. As smart as Mo Zhun was, he realized during that outing that we were not just acquaintances, but also had deeper feelings for each other, so he pretended to accidentally tell Yu Xia the news that I was going to college.
This was a big emotional gamble. If Yu Xia went, if Yu Xia and I were together, then he would lose. If we were not together, he would never let go.
My senior asked me, "Are you really not touched at all that there is a man like this who is willing to sacrifice for you?"
I said, "I am touched, but that can't be called love. I have loved that man named Yu Xia for nearly half of my life, and no one can replace him."
"You silly girl!" The senior student on the other end of the phone burst into tears. "Do you know that when I first met you, I felt that you were a girl who deserved your love. Over the years, I have been hoping that but I have never been able to do so. I am really frustrated."
"I know, Senior, I'm really grateful to you for all these years."
"You silly girl, if you really want to thank me, let me give you a good beating!" She burst into laughter, "You must smile more in the future, okay?"
"Senior, tell me, am I wrong?"
"When it comes to relationships, how can there be a clear distinction between right and wrong?" She sighed. "If this happened to someone else, I would definitely drag you down and complain about it for three days and three nights, but that person is you, so I really can't blame you."
" But……"
"Su Bei, you made the decision yourself, so don't regret it. Go forward bravely. Hesitation and doubt will only make you sad."
"Yeah." In the past few days, so many people have comforted me, and Yu Xia has also been beside me, telling me over and over again that everything is okay.
It was not until I heard what my senior said that I was truly relieved. I chose my own path and I have no room for regrets. All I can do is move forward with my head held high and not make myself and the people I love sad.
In order not to make things difficult for me, Yu Xia did not announce the fact that we were together right away. Instead, he waited for a while before bringing me to meet his friends in the city. As for my uncle and aunt, I told them about it only after that.
When he called his parents, I was by his side. When they heard the news, they didn't ask much, but just said, "You two are still together!"
The tone of voice sounded as if it was expected, which made us completely relieved. Before this, I had been worried for a long time whether his parents would not accept me, or even have prejudice against me because I left and made Yu Xia sad. I didn't expect that they accepted it so calmly, and Yu Xia was also a little surprised.
As for my mother, she was already very happy knowing that I had a boyfriend. When she heard that the other party was Yu Xia, whom she had watched grow up since childhood, she felt even more relieved and there was no need to worry at all.
When all these were no longer a problem, Yu Xia and I could finally be with each other without any worries. When two people in love are together, the days always pass by very quickly. To describe it in one word, it is like honey and oil.
At the same time, good news came frequently. Yu Xia was about to be promoted because of his strong working ability, and I also received a job-hopping invitation from my favorite company not long after.
Everything was so perfect. To put it in a very clichéd way, I was so happy that I almost died.
When I said this, he looked at me seriously and said, "Su Bei, don't say that again. We must all live well. From now on, wherever Su Bei is, there will be Yu Xia. Wherever you are, I will be there."
These are the warmest love words I have ever heard in my life, just like when Rose said “You jump, I jump” in the movie Titanic, I cried my heart out.
When I was the saddest, it was Yu Xia and Sheng Yinuo who held up the sky for me. For me, they gave up a better future. I have not forgotten that when Yu Xia was a child, he wanted to go to Peking University the most, but in the year of the college entrance examination, he resolutely stayed in that city with me, just because I didn't want to go far away and didn't want to leave my mother. Sheng Yinuo always wanted to go to a city in the south, and finally stayed for me. They all smiled and told me that it was great to be admitted to the same university. I knew in my heart how much they gave up for me.
I have never forgotten it.
Yu Xia, there are some things I am embarrassed to say. I really want to tell you that where you are is my paradise.
After Xu Shihan resigned, she did not leave the city, but just changed jobs in another company. At first, I was a little worried that we could not go back to the way we were before, but she came to me with a smile and said to me: "Su Bei, let's go shopping together!"
Her smile was a kind of salvation to me at that time. I felt so lucky. As selfish as I was, I always met people who tolerated me and treated me well with all their heart.
When I felt extremely lucky, my senior warned me once: "Su Bei, don't be fooled by Xu Shihan's appearance. A woman who can smile at her love rival after going through such a thing is definitely not simple."
I smiled: "Senior, Shihan and I have known each other for many years. She has always been a kind and good girl, not as scheming as you think."
After hearing what I said, the senior student didn’t say anything else, but just shook her head and told me to be more careful.
I didn't take her words to heart. Having known Xu Shihan for so many years, I understand her better than my senior.
On Christmas Day, Yu Xia had to work overtime, and my senior was busy with a blind date. I was bored and was dragged by Xu Shihan to go shopping in the mall. Chinese people attach great importance to this foreign holiday. Walking on the street, there are bearded Santa Clauses and repeated Christmas songs everywhere. When passing by some stores, they will also put some small souvenirs in my hands and say "Merry Christmas".
"We've known each other for so many years, but this is actually our second Christmas together." Xu Shihan took my arm as we walked and looked around. "You know what? When I was in high school, I once wore those Santa Claus costumes to work. At that time, the boss thought that we would look bloated if we wore heavy clothes and Santa Claus costumes, so he asked us to wear less. As a result, we were frozen after standing for a whole day, and our boss also deducted our wages."
"It's really hard to imagine you wearing that dress." I looked at Santa Claus and then at the petite Xu Shihan beside me. I couldn't connect the two at all. "I do remember that during Christmas of my freshman year, Lin Momo wore this dress to give us snacks, but in the end, all the snacks ended up in her stomach."
"That's right, once she starts eating snacks, she won't stop. After she finished our portion, she patted her belly and asked, "Do you have any more?" Xu Shihan also laughed.
After laughing, we were both silent. I asked, "Do you have any news about her?"
"No, I haven't seen her since she was persuaded to drop out. At first, I could occasionally hear some news about her from other classmates, but later, nothing at all. Her phone number has long been invalid, and I can't get in touch with her even if I want to." Xu Shihan was a little disappointed, "I really miss the days when the three of us were together. I feel very happy when I see you and Lin Momo laughing and playing."
Perhaps festivals are days that easily remind people of the past. When we mention Lin Momo, we all sigh.
"Subei, there are roasted sweet potatoes for sale over there. I remember that Lin Momo loved to eat this at that time. I'll go buy one." Seeing the roasted sweet potato stall, Xu Shihan's eyes lit up instantly, "Do you want one?"
"I'd better forget it. My appetite has been poor recently and I always feel nauseous." I refused.
For half a month, I have been nauseous and want to vomit every morning when I wake up, and sometimes I keep vomiting acid. I can't touch greasy things at all, and I feel uncomfortable when I smell them.
I didn't dare tell my mother and Yu Xia about this, for fear that they would worry. It was really hard to endure it in front of them.
After a while, Xu Shihan came back holding a roasted sweet potato. She put it in front of her nose and smelled it, then closed her eyes and said with enjoyment, "It smells so good!"
Then she brought the roasted sweet potato to my eyes and asked, "Don't you really want to try it? It's really delicious."
The aroma of roasted sweet potatoes wafted from my nose, and my stomach suddenly churned as if something was about to come out. I hurriedly ran to the trash can and retched, tears streaming down my face, but nothing came out.
Xu Shihan had already put the roasted sweet potatoes back into the bag. She walked over to me, unscrewed a bottle of mineral water and gave it to me, and asked worriedly, "Are you okay?"
I took the mineral water and shook my head: "Maybe I got an upset stomach from eating seafood some time ago, and it hasn't healed yet."
"Su Bei, how long have you been like this?"
I thought about it and said, "About half a month."
"Is that so? It's not a good thing for you to feel uncomfortable all the time. You'd better go home and take some medicine." She looked at me thoughtfully and advised.
"Yeah." I agreed.
"By the way, Yu Xia's birthday is next month, right? Have you prepared a gift?"
In front of Xu Shihan, I always subconsciously avoid mentioning Yu Xia, but she often talks about her as if she doesn't care.
"I was so busy with work that I almost forgot about it." I patted my head, "Oh, it's a good thing you reminded me."
"You can't just focus on work and ignore your life!" She pulled my arm and walked forward. "Come on, I'll go with you. But before that, I'm going to the bathroom first, you can walk around by yourself."
After that, she stuffed everything in her hand into my hand and left. I wandered aimlessly in the hall alone. In the circular area in the middle of the mall, a well-known car manufacturer was holding an event. I am not very familiar with cars, but I know a little about this one because it is Yu Xia's favorite brand.
Because he liked it, I couldn't help but move closer. There was a model in a white dress standing between the two SUVs. I stared at her face for a long time, but I was still not sure.
Is this really Lin Momo? The Lin Momo that Xu Shihan and I just mentioned.
Under the heavy makeup, the face looked familiar yet strange. I tentatively called out in a low voice: "Lin Momo?"
She looked at me in astonishment, her mouth slightly open: "Su Bei?"
"It's you, I thought I recognized the wrong person."
She said hello to the people around her and got off the platform. We stood face to face, feeling very emotional. Her eyes were slightly red and her lips were trembling: "Su Bei, are you okay? I..."
"I'm fine, really fine." I patted her shoulder, "What happened in the past is in the past."
"I have always felt sorry for you all these years. After you left, I asked many people about you , but they didn't know."
"My mother and I moved away, and we're living well now. How about you? I heard that you were asked to drop out. Where did you go after you left school?" All the past grudges became insignificant when we met again. Rather than resentment, I wanted to know whether she was living well and whether she was happy.
"Me? I was muddle-headed for two years because of Chen Hao, and later I was introduced to my current modeling agency by a friend. Being a model means running car shows and stuff like that, a job for the young. I have a lot of work, I earn a lot, and I live a pretty good life." She laughed at herself, "I really regret leaving school that year."
"A friend of mine once told me that if you have made a decision, you should not regret it. You should always look forward. No one knows who you will meet or what you will experience next. No matter what, you can do nothing wrong by moving forward with your head held high."
"Su Bei, you have really changed a lot." She said with emotion.
"After all, I've grown up now, and I can't be as ignorant as I was back then." I said with a smile.
"Yeah, we've all grown up." She looked at me and smiled. This smile made me see the familiar Lin Momo again, the Lin Momo who used to be my good friend.
"By the way, have you seen ..."
"Su Bei!" Xu Shihan, who came out of the bathroom, called my name. I heard the voice and turned around to wave to her. She saw me and walked towards me.
"What did you just say?" I turned around and asked Lin Momo.
"Nothing...Nothing. I have to go on stage. My boss won't let me leave for too long."
"Don't you want to say a few words to Shihan? You haven't seen each other for many years." I said to persuade her.
"No need. We'll see each other again in the future." After saying that, Lin Momo went onto the platform and continued to pose, no longer looking at us.
I waved to her and left. After turning around, Xu Shihan asked me, "What did Lin Momo say to you just now?"
"No, we just exchanged a few pleasantries." She didn't seem surprised at all by Lin Momo's appearance, nor did she feel the same sense of surprise as I did when I met her. Lin Momo's attitude just now was also a little strange.
This doubt was fleeting, and soon I was struggling with what gift to buy for Yu Xia. In the end, it was Xu Shihan who helped me make the decision and picked out a tie for him.
While waiting for the teller to pack the tie, Xu Shihan stood at the door and looked around nervously. From time to time, she looked back at me. When she found that I had packed it, she was obviously stunned for a moment, and then she smiled at me calmly, pretending to be calm: "Packed? Let's go back!"
"Go back?" I was a little surprised. Before I entered the door, she said she wanted me to accompany her for a whole day!
"Yes, I suddenly feel a little tired. Let's go back!" As she said that, she pulled me towards the door in a hurry.
Her behavior made me feel even more strange. I felt that she had seen something while I was waiting for the packaging. I stopped, held her and asked, "Shihan, what's wrong with you? Did something happen?"
"Nothing... nothing, I'm just tired, really tired, let's go back!" She forced me to walk out.
The more this happened, the more doubts I had in my heart, and I couldn't help but say something harsh: "Shihan, don't you consider me a friend? Did you see something just now?"
"I...Su Bei, don't ask me anymore. I can't tell you."
"Xu Shihan!"
"Okay, okay, don't be angry, I'll tell you what I am saying." Xu Shihan took a deep breath, as if she had made a great decision, "I just saw Yu Xia."
"Yu Xia?"
"Well, he went into the cafe over there with a woman."
Following Xu Shihan's words, I found the coffee shop. Standing in front of the transparent glass, I could see most of the scenes in the store. Yu Xia and a strange woman were sitting in the coffee shop, chatting happily. Seeing Yu Xia's excited look, my heart ached.
"Su Bei, I don't want you to know."
"It's okay, maybe it's a colleague!" I pulled Xu Shihan and turned to leave. "Let's go. I promised to accompany you for a day, and I will definitely keep my promise."
"Are you really okay?"
"It's okay. I trust him."
Although I said I believed her, I was wondering who that woman was the whole time, and I was always absent-minded when chatting with Xu Shihan. Finally, she couldn't stand me anymore, so she pushed me out of the mall and "drove" me back home.
Sitting in the home that belongs to Yu Xia and me, I was conflicted, not knowing whether I should ask Yu Xia or what answer he would give me.
Women are contradictory animals. They believe in their hearts and know that he will not betray them, but they still cannot feel at peace with him.