Shen Xingmo and his mother finally went abroad for treatment. His uncle helped him contact a good university there, so he could study while taking care of his mother.
The peach blossom branches, which are usually ordinary, are filled with stunning beauty overnight, but it has been raining this March.
Before he left, he took me to ride the tallest Ferris wheel in the city. When the Ferris wheel reached the highest point, Shen Xingmo held my wrist and tied a red rope around my wrist, his tone as pious as a believer.
He said, I heard that if you tie a person with a red thread, she will be yours, A Yuan, I will come back and give you a better life.
For a moment, I was like a silent coral under the water, just blessing him.
Spring is fading in the world, but I am lazily sitting at my desk, facing the blank Word in front of me, hiding my longing, looking back at the words that boy left me with the pain of parting.
A week after Shen Xingmo left, I found a job at a company that made rural tourism apps. Every day, I was responsible for turning the materials they brought back from field trips into articles that were flowery and fabricated.
Lin Jingxiang was better than me. She passed the Level 8 English test and worked as a secretary and translator in a Sino-foreign joint venture. Her salary was ten times that of mine. Before long, she owned her own house and car, and took Qin Fangrui over.
After rehabilitation treatment, Qin Fangrui was able to speak some simple words, but his voice, which was usually so irritable, was as hoarse as a dying Shar-Pei dog, and when he got angry, he lost all his momentum.
She took away the key to the house and didn't let me live there, so I had to rent a single room near the company and give Qin Fangrui a living allowance every month.
The first thing I see when I wake up every morning is the birds flying diagonally across the sky, I breathe the fresh air, and hear the noisy hawking of vendors. In the quiet room, on the quiet phone, there are no calls, no text messages. I almost suspect that I have been abandoned by my loved ones.
As expected, when I went downstairs to throw away the garbage, I saw Chen Jinmo's car again. He came to see me every day and was so stubborn that it was annoying.
He joined his own company and became the general manager in name only. When I was looking for a job, he wanted me to go to his company, but I refused.
Since you don't owe each other anything, there's no need to get entangled.
After stopping for a few days, the rain started again.
Perhaps it was the silence of the past few days that made me not want to face the empty and cold rental house, so Chen Jinmo suggested going out for dinner together, and I actually said yes.
I began to despise myself.
Qingming Festival is coming in a few days. White lanterns are hung in many places. The soft light shines on the puddles on the ground and on the people who are playing finger-guessing games and drinking at the roadside stalls.
The car was driving slowly on the road. Chen Jinmo at that time was wearing a casual suit with three buttons of his shirt always undone. He had cut his hair short, but he still couldn't hide the arrogance and sharpness between his eyebrows.
Chen Jinmo didn't close the car window. I followed him in driving, letting time pass by, listening to music and resting with my eyes closed. The road was very quiet and I could only hear the birds singing. The car slowed down, I opened my eyes and saw the pear trees in bloom.
The car stopped at a farmer's house, and he took me to a farm for people to play and relax. There were ordinary small flowers and green trees everywhere. I looked at the lovely flowers and simply walked out. The snow-white pear blossoms, with white outer circles, were very fragrant. The flowers were flying all over the sky, and the fallen petals were colorful. The petals fluttered and fell on the black hair and clothes under the tree.
I tilted my head slightly, my eyelids half closed, and my long eyelashes covered my snow-clear face, projecting a sense of tranquility.
Maybe it’s because it’s been too long since I last went to such a quiet and beautiful place, and I actually felt a little grateful to Chen Jinmo.
He smiled faintly, pointed to a large forest of dead branches, and said, "This is a project invested by our family. It is mainly an ecological farm. There are large areas of white plum and chimonanthus chinensis planted there. They will bloom in winter. I will bring you there when the time comes."
The tone of a nouveau riche voice made me laugh.
The plum blossoms that Chen Jinmo mentioned are a rare and precious flower species, but they still planted several plum groves. The climate here is suitable for their growth.
When we entered the farm, there was already a table full of dishes, two pairs of bowls and chopsticks, and the door was open, welcoming someone.
"Brother Mo!" A child about four or five years old saw us come in, rushed in and bumped into Chen Jinmo's arms. Chen Jinmo was pouring tea for me, and the splashed tea spread all over the table.
"How long will it take you to be the big boss? When I grow up, I will go and work with you." Chen Jinmo looked at the child's angry face and smiled helplessly. Just as he was about to touch his head, he snorted coldly and dodged sideways.
Chen Jinmo picked up the teacup beside him and kindly reminded him, "You little bastard, this is top-quality Tieguanyin tea, and you spilled most of it."
"It would be better to throw it all away!" the child argued.
Seeing the child being naughty, Chen Jinmo coaxed him and asked him to stop making trouble. I looked at them and suddenly thought of the past. I have been reminiscing about the past a lot recently. I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting old.
"I'm your uncle's child, don't mind it." He looked at me.
"do not mind."
Compared with them, I seem to have become a salted fish.
Having a pitiful salary and living a tight life, in fact, this is not enough to make me live a bad life. What I can't do is that I have lost any news about Shen Xingmo.
I asked Xu Xiaoran and Yao Ruhua, but neither of them had any news about him.
He is like a rain, passing through my heart, and when the sun comes out, it evaporates without leaving any trace. If it weren't for the red rope on my wrist that he had woven with his own hands, reminding me that he had come, he had left, and I was waiting for him, I would probably really think that he had never existed.
I sat there quietly, watching Chen Jinmo play with the child and smiling at them.
Suddenly, the kid's attention shifted to me. He walked over, looked at me unceremoniously, and asked, "Are you Brother Mo's girlfriend?"
I was sitting and he was standing, and we were about the same height, so when he said this, there was some fierce momentum in it.
I shook my head and said, "No."
"You're lying. You're not my girlfriend. Why does he only bring you to my house to play? Do you like him?" So, the most difficult questions to answer are actually children's questions. His innocent words attracted Chen Jinmo's gaze to wander over me.
"I know! My dad likes my mom, so he will take us out to play. Brother Mo brought you here to play. I must have got it wrong. Brother Mo, you like her, right?" The child didn't hear my answer and turned to ask Chen Jinmo again.
When I first heard his impeccable logic, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I thought Chen Jinmo would be like me and not answer, or maybe just coax him, but it turned out that I was completely wrong.
Chen Jinmo couldn't hide the smile on his face when he heard the child's question. He looked at me steadily and said to the child seriously, "Haohao is not bad. You guessed it. Yes, I like her. So what? Do you also have a crush on a girl at school?"
The child waved his short arms and legs to catch Chen Jinmo, but Chen Jinmo dodged like a monkey, making the child pout.
Yes, I just like her, so what?
Even now, when Chen Jinmo sits with me and says something like this lightly, it makes me think wildly.
I told myself not to care about it, but I couldn't help but think about it.
Look, Lin Jingyuan, you are still the annoying Lin Jingyuan, and you have even become fickle, how shameful.
I didn't say anything until they returned to the table and Chen Jinmo started eating with the child in his arms.
We are not going to end here, I know that very well.
A long time ago in the hospital, I wanted to say something to Shen Xingmo, but I ended up keeping it in my heart.
He never heard the voice in my heart.
Before we parted, Shen Xingmo confessed his love to me and asked me to wait for him to come back. I didn't dare to face this person who accompanied me, but he gradually touched my heart.
Also because of this empty waiting, I once again raised my thorns all over my body towards Chen Jinmo.
I felt that I could not delay Chen Jinmo, so after returning from the farm, I made it clear that I rejected his feelings. After all, he deserved a better future. I used the excuse that I liked Shen Xingmo as my shield.
Chen Jinmo was determined to win and said he was not afraid of a runaway rival.
I went to Lin Jingxiang's home and visited Qin Fangrui. Seeing that she and Lin Jingxiang got along well, I didn't stay long. I left some money to Qin Fangrui and left.
After all, I am just a superfluous person.
Family affection is indifferent, and I have always been afraid and inferior about love. Chen Jinmo is the dream I have been obsessed with for half my life, and Shen Xingmo is the person I want to cherish. In the process of waiting and rejection, I learned to divert my attention.
I simply put all my energy into my work, and because of my outstanding performance, my manager transferred me to the Human Resources Department as an assistant, and my salary increased by a small amount.
My salary increased and I began to have new material pursuits.
Except for some discounted items, all the clothes in the closet were those worn by Lin Jingxiang. I got determined and spent a weekend throwing away 90% of those clothes. I went to the mall and bought myself seasonal clothes, skin care products, and a pair of Sergio Rossi high heels. The shoes are an Italian brand, and I like the blue color.
Shen Xingmo said that he likes blue because it is intoxicating. He said that I am a sapphire that he has met, but he does not know that he is also the most dazzling star that I have met.
He is not the faint starlight, nor is he a substitute for Chen Jinmo. He is just himself, so outstanding that people can't take their eyes off him. When he was around, I was so stingy that I never praised him once.
During the past year or so of work, my life was calm, boring, and like a stagnant pool of water. Xu Xiaoran waited until Yao Ruhua was admitted to the graduate school in his hometown, and left the city with him.
What I want to say is that I witnessed the romantic wedding of Xu Xiaoran and Yao Ruhua.
I wore a bridesmaid dress and witnessed this girl marrying happily. When Xu Xiaoran happily posted the photo to her friends, I suddenly imagined that Shen Xingmo might see it one day.
Thinking back, he and Yao Ruohua were no longer roommates, so where could I go to see him? I was really out of my mind.
On Friday, I took a day off sick because of a bad cold. My manager called me and said there was a dinner party at the weekend and two clients would be there, so I must come.
I struggled to get up from the bed, went to the clinic downstairs, got an IV drip, and then went to a nearby KFC for dinner. Halfway through, I went to the bathroom, and when I came back the dishes had been taken away.
At that moment, loneliness overwhelmed me like a tide, and for the first time I felt like a poor creature.
Shen Xingmo's phone is always turned off. Sometimes I can't help but wonder if something happened to him. Once this thought comes up, my heart feels like a knife stabbing at it, and my whole body is numb with pain in an instant.
I was afraid of having too many random thoughts and forced myself not to think about him.
My body had almost recovered, so I went to the dinner place that my manager mentioned on the weekend. After some greetings, everyone gathered around the table to have their meal.
The manager booked a large private room, which had an entertainment room where people could sing and a small stage for performances. After dinner, a colleague brought a client to play mahjong. It was not yet evening, but they were clamoring to play first, so I was busy making tea and serving water for them.
"Xiao Lin, the client is very optimistic about you. The plan you submitted last time was very creative." I handed the manager a cup of tea, and he suddenly spoke. I followed his gaze and looked at the client who was squinting at me. I smiled awkwardly and said, "Thank you, manager."
Each entertainment project was separated by a wall. In addition to the few people playing cards inside, the manager and his team also prepared performances. There was a small stage in the room, a long red carpet was laid in front of the door, and artificial flowers formed an arc-shaped arched door. The half-moon-shaped stage was much higher than the ground. The stage was surrounded by crystal curtains and the ceiling was decorated with lights.
There were two rows of tables and chairs under the stage. We sat at two tables, one for the leaders and one for the employees. The customer with the greasy face just sat quietly at one side, drinking with the manager, and occasionally his eyes fell on me.
"Lin Jingyuan, you'd better be careful. That old man is notoriously lustful." Colleague Zhang Li was eating grapes one by one, without spitting out the skin or seeds. She looked at the eyes of the customers who came over, and occasionally met his eyes, then glared at him with hatred.
I don't know how long they played, but the guys who were playing cards came out and sat down at the manager's table. Zhang Li took a few boxes of cakes, walked up to me, and smiled at me: "I saw you liked it at the company earlier, so I brought some over."
I was a little surprised, but when I saw her friendly look, I couldn't help but smile. I stretched out my hand and a piece of mung bean cake went into my mouth: "Thank you."
Zhang Li shook her head, put down the pastry, looked towards the stage, and said that I was too polite.
"It's time for the show!" The manager ran onto the stage at some point, cleared his throat, and said in a serious tone. He drank some wine and looked very happy. His eyes moved and he smiled at our table, "Everyone has a chance! No one is allowed to refuse. As an example, I'll sing a song for you first!"
The tune of running away echoed in the private room, and there was applause from below. Zhang Li also looked at me with a smile: "Other people sing for money, but Manager Zheng sings for his life."
I saw the manager singing a high-pitched folk song. I don't know where the dialect he was singing was, his voice was naturally rough and hoarse. As he sang the song, coupled with his occasional funny expressions and movements, he often caused laughter from the audience. Even I, who was usually cold, laughed from the bottom of my heart. I might look silly and honest in the eyes of others.
Next, a male colleague was pulled onto the stage. As the second person to appear, he seemed a little unnatural. It was difficult for him to perform in public. Later, under the manager's unreasonable demands, the male colleague had no choice but to perform a set of boxing. His boxing was very poor, and he stumbled all over the place, but he still won everyone's applause.
Zhang Li volunteered to go up third. Her colleagues didn't care, they just wanted to have fun. They performed one after another, and my palms were sweating from nervousness. I waited and waited, and finally I was the only one left.
"Ahem!" The manager coughed twice, staring at the audience with a sly look, his eyes moving between the tables on both sides. After a while, he spoke with a smile on his face, "There's still one person who hasn't come on stage yet! Who is it? Come up quickly!"
"Just be careful and sing a song." Before the manager finished speaking, Zhang Li had already given me a shot of prevention.
I had made up my mind this time. I looked straight ahead, covered my stomach, and wanted to slip away.
"Hey? Xiaolin, it seems that you and Mr. Fei are the only ones who haven't performed yet? What? How about a duet of a love song?" The manager suddenly ran down and pulled me towards the stage. I was nowhere near as strong as him, and I was pulled onto the stage in a few seconds.
"I want to watch the finale of the duet! I don't want to listen to the songs, I want to drink the wedding wine!"
"Wedding cups of wine!"
"If you don't drink the penalty drink, drink the penalty drink!"
Feeling that there was one more person on the stage, I just raised my eyes slightly and took a look. Mr. Fei’s bald head was shiny and greasy. When he saw everyone cheering, he was about to pull me with his greasy hands.
Thinking I couldn't escape this time, I took a step back and glanced coldly at the audience: "I choose to accept the punishment."
"I won't be fined for drinking red wine, I'll have to drink white wine. Do you admit it?" The person who spoke was the customer who came with Mr. Fei. I couldn't understand why these grown men wanted to make things difficult for me.