"Sun Qing is back."
When Baldy sent me this message, I was drinking water. When I saw the message, I couldn't even hold the cup steady, and the cup broke to the ground.
Since I agreed not to go for internship, Zhuang Li returned my phone to me.
Occasionally, Guangtou would send me blessing text messages during festivals. I never thought that Sun Qing would come back.
The only place she could go was the repair shop.
So I changed my clothes, took a taxi and went to the repair shop.
In fact, I struggled for a long time. I didn't want to go. We have become strangers. The friendship we had when we met died with Su Jingnian's death. How should I face her and what can I say? I blamed her for killing Su Jingnian, and she also blamed me for taking away her love. But considering all the factors, she actually paid a heavier price than anyone else. After , maybe I figured out some things, and some things in my heart gradually faded, or maybe deep down I still wanted to see her, so I went.
I haven't seen Sun Qing for such a long time, and I don't know what she looks like now.
The bald guy seemed to know I was coming and was waiting at the door of the garage early. However, he had grown his hair and was no longer bald, but he still looked handsome.
I smiled, a rare gesture, and greeted him: "Hi, Baldy, long time no see."
He scratched the back of his head a little embarrassedly and said a little depressedly: "I have grown hair, and I am no longer called a bald head."
"So what's your name?" To be honest, I've known him for such a long time, but apart from knowing that he is called Baldy, I really don't know what his name is.
"My name is Zuo Zhixun."
"It's more convenient to call him Baldy."
The bald man led me into the basement of the repair shop with a helpless look on his face.
Baldy said the garage was still open, but there was no underground racing. Traffic control and the legal system were strict in recent years, and his brothers, except for the occasional late-night racing, were scattered to do serious things. The passion of his youth was gone, and now he had to bow to reality.
When I came to the basement, I saw Sun Qing leaning against a car smoking.
She has really changed a lot.
Sun Qing's waist-length hair was changed into neat short hair, dyed burgundy. She had five pierced ears on her left ear and a shiny nose stud on her nose. Her nails were painted royal blue, looking very seductive. She wore a black T-shirt with a small jacket on the outside and black tights on the bottom, which wrapped her legs beautifully. She wore a pair of Martin boots on her feet, and the tassels on the shoes kept swinging when she walked.
She put on heavy eye makeup, and looked like an unruly lion. Who would have thought that Sun Qing had become like this after her trip to Tibet?
I had not expected this to happen at all. After a moment of hesitation, I smiled and said hello: "You're back..."
"Yes, I'm back." She slowly exhaled a puff of cigarette, and her plump red lips looked charming.
"When did you come back?"
"About a few days."
I didn't know what to say or ask anymore. The relationship between her and I had become so estranged.
She crossed her arms, turned around me twice, and said, "You are still as beautiful as ever, as coquettish as a flower."
Sun Qing's words were full of thorns, and I knew she was still blaming me.
"Are you still blaming me?"
"I dare not. You have such a powerful backer behind you. I can't afford to offend you." She leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Do you know what dirty deals he and I had in the past?"
"I know."
Sun Qing stood up straight, slightly stunned, then smiled and said: "I thought you loved Su Jingnian so much, but I didn't expect it to be just like this. I really feel sorry for him. Ding Lanyin, you are just like a pug. You follow whoever throws you a bone."
Although her appearance has changed, her sharp tongue remains unchanged. She is very venomous and ruthless when she insults others. Although her words are harsh, I have to admit that Sun Qing hit the nail on the head.
It seemed that we could no longer be friends, so I calmly replied, "No one can control who another person loves. And, if I remember correctly, you pushed Su Jingnian down the stairs and he died."
She tore open my scars without hesitation, and I fought back without hesitation.
Sure enough, Sun Qing's face changed immediately after hearing the last sentence. But she didn't get angry, instead she asked me: "My only good friend, why don't you guess why I came back this time."
"What is your purpose in coming back?"
She replied with a smile as beautiful as a flower: "I want you and Zhuang Li to accompany the lonely Su Jingnian!"
"Is it possible for us to be friends again?" I asked sadly, looking into her eyes for the last time.
She finally stopped smiling and replied coldly, "From the moment I put drugs in your wine, you and I are destined not to be friends. Also, Ding Lanyin, don't pretend to be innocent. You will only make people more disgusted."
"I'm sorry, I owe you this life..."
"Ding Lanyin, you will never be able to repay what you owe me in this lifetime!"
I owed Sun Qing an apology, and I also owed her a lifetime of happiness. But my happiness was gone too.
When the bald man escorted me out, he said apologetically, "I'm sorry, I didn't know things would turn out like this between you. I just wanted to make her happy."
“It’s not your fault.”
Sun Qing has changed, and so have I. No one can go back to the way things were before.
"The smile on her face is fake and it makes people feel sad."
When the bald man said this, I turned to look at him and said jokingly with a smile: "If you like Sun Qing, please give her happiness."
The bald man hesitated and admitted a little embarrassedly: "You don't need to tell me this, I know it all. And, I'm sorry, she came back because I sent her a text message saying that she saw you and Zhuang Li were very happy."
I looked at the light blue sky and said slowly, "Not everything you see is true."
It turns out that in the eyes of others, I am still happy. Unfortunately, those are all illusions.
On the way back, Baldy drove me back. Halfway through the journey, my stomach started to churn, so I quickly asked the car to stop, then got out and leaned against a tree to vomit, as if I wanted to vomit out all my internal organs, and tears started to flow.
The bald man handed me a bottle of mineral water, and I hurriedly took it to rinse my mouth. After vomiting, the bald man helped me sit down on the side of the road and asked with concern: " Do you want to go to the hospital?"
I shook my head palely and said weakly, "I won't go. Maybe my stomach has a cold. It will be fine in a few days..."
In fact, this was a pregnancy reaction. The baby seemed to know what I had decided and was making a lot of noise in my stomach.
I wanted to hold the toilet every step I took, and I couldn't eat anything. But as long as Zhuang Li was there, the child wouldn't be too noisy, and I would force him to vomit occasionally, and Zhuang Li didn't suspect anything.
The bald guy sent me a text message asking me how to pursue Sun Qing. I held the phone and didn’t know what to reply.
Sun Qing has become moody and unpredictable. She has a smile on her face, but it is icy cold. If she returns only for revenge, there is no need for it.
If Baldy can resolve her emotional issues, Sun Qing will eventually get out of the predicament she created for herself.
So I texted her, "Her weakness is Su Jingnian."
Maybe Baldy has no chance, because I know deep down that some things can never be compared with death.
Death is eternal.
Sun Qing went to Tibet and forgave herself, but she didn't forgive me. Suddenly I wanted to know what happened to her in Tibet.
Zhuang Li did not return home overnight. In the middle of the night, a strange number called me. When I picked up the phone, I heard a burst of joyful laughter. The music was soft and the voices were ambiguous. Even with my eyes closed, I could imagine the fierce "battle" over there.
"Zhuang Li." Sun Qing's voice was a little hoarse and charming.
I didn’t listen afterwards.
Sun Qing's revenge was so direct, but it was completely ineffective. She chose the wrong method.
I drank a glass of milk with a normal look on my face, then washed up and went to sleep.
A dreamless night.
The next day, Zhuang Li came back drunk. He explained, "I went to a social gathering yesterday and got drunk. I stayed in the hotel for the night."
I nodded, packed up and went out, because Sun Qing sent me a text message early in the morning asking me to meet her.
Sun Qing was wearing a loose white shirt with two buttons left undone, revealing traces of ambiguity.
The shirt belongs to Zhuang Li.
He went out yesterday morning wearing a shirt and suit, and when he came back he had changed his clothes inside.
Sun Qing asked, "Was the play last night good?"
I looked at her and said nothing.
She continued ambiguously, "After last night, I seem to like Zhuang Li a little bit..." She drew seductive eyeliner and smiled, looking even more charming.
"Sun Qing, I don't care how you take revenge on me, please don't hurt yourself."
After hearing what I said, Sun Qing burst into laughter, with a bit of cruelty in her smile: "Ding Lanyin, your innocent appearance is really disgusting. I, Sun Qing, have been ruined a long time ago..." Finally, she murmured, "Neither of us are qualified to love Su Jingnian...You are not worthy, and neither am I!"
The last four words spoke volumes.
"So, why do you care how I take revenge?" Sun Qing said, and started to giggle again.
"It's useless." I said honestly, "I don't love Zhuang Li, so you can't use him to make me sad."
Sun Qing was stunned for a moment, then cursed: "You are really a slut. Do you want to use Zhuang Li to live a good life? I just don't do what you want!"
I didn't continue her words, but said, "Bald heads are actually pretty good."
As soon as he finished speaking, the bald man who suddenly appeared ran to Sun Qing, grabbed her hand tightly, and said firmly: "Qingqing, I didn't mean to do that last night. I will take responsibility."
Sun Qing's face changed, and she yelled, "Get out of here!"
The bald man said sincerely and apologetically: "I promise I will be responsible."
"Get lost!" Sun Qing said in a serious tone, "If you don't get lost, I will never see you again!"
The bald man lowered his head and looked at Sun Qing reluctantly. He wanted to say something but had to turn around and leave.
Sun Qing yelled at the bald man and then turned around and said self-deprecatingly, "Are you gloating over someone else's misfortune? The person I was with last night was not Zhuang Li."
This dramatic development actually had no effect on me. Sun Qing in front of me was like a clown on the stage, forcibly pulling me into the tragedy that she directed and acted in.
Throughout the whole process, I didn't feel the slightest bit of emotion.
Sun Qing covered her face and sobbed softly, "I have always been jealous of you... including now... Su Jingnian loves you so much, and so does Zhuang Li... why can't I get all of this... Ding Lanyin, it would be great if you had never appeared..."
How nice it would be if I had never appeared, would not meet anyone, would not experience separation and death, and would not experience heartache and despair.
I said, "The greatest revenge for me is that you live a happier life than me. It's not a false happiness, but a real happiness."
"It's too late... too late... I'm in Tibet..." She choked up in her throat and didn't say the rest. Sun Qing's makeup was all smudged by her tears, and she looked so miserable.
I thought she had returned to being the proud person she once was, but I didn't expect she was still so fragile inside.
I don't even know how I got back home.
When I was leaving, I told him I was going to buy some things, but when I came back I had nothing.
He asked, "Didn't you say you were going shopping?"
“I didn’t buy it.”
"What do you want to buy? I'll buy it for you."
"I want to buy... cosmetics." This idea came out of nowhere.
The next day, Zhuang Li bought a lot of cosmetics, all of which I couldn't name. He also bought a special makeup box, which contained all kinds of tools.
It was probably Sun Qing's outfit that inspired me to put on makeup.
I started wearing loose and beautiful skirts, putting on the most charming and seductive makeup, and always had a gentle smile on my face. I smiled at a flower, smiled at Zhuang Li, and smiled at many inexplicable things, as if to melt the icy face of so many years, leaving only smiles in my life.
Zhuang Li was also very happy, he felt that I was getting better. In fact, only I knew that beneath the stunning appearance was a rotten and festering heart, and that gentle smile was a farewell to this world.
There weren't many classes in my junior year, and they were all finished by mid-May. Although it wasn't officially summer vacation, I didn't have to go to school.
Now my belly is only slightly protruding, not noticeable. I hid my pregnancy very well, and Zhuang Li didn't notice it either.
In the evening, he held me in his arms while watching TV. The TV was showing the sea views of Sanya. The blue sky, sea and soft fine sand were something I had never seen before.
Zhuang Li seemed to notice what I was thinking and said, "Let's go to Sanya later."
I turned my head, looked him in the eyes, and asked, "Really?"
"I will give you an unforgettable memory."
I sneered in my heart.
The opportunity has come, why should I recall what I am doing now?
Sanya is a paradise of happiness.
If you are very close to happiness, will you reach out your hand?
But Zhuang Li, none of us deserve happiness.
The saddest thing about a person is probably that he has no desire to live.
Every time I pass by a gallery, I always think of Ding Xuan, imagining that he has a beautiful girlfriend abroad, and then carries his easel around looking for inspiration for painting. But the person who accompanies him in finding inspiration is no longer me.
Now, what worries me most is Sun Qing. If she can't resolve her inner demons, she won't be able to accept a new relationship, let alone start a new life.
Before going to Sanya, I wanted to do my best to bring Guangtou and Sun Qing together. Although Guangtou's family is not rich, they will definitely treat Sun Qing well.
Whether it's meddling or pretending to be kind, I don't care what Sun Qing thinks of me.
When I went to the garage again, I saw Sun Qing wearing the clothes that she used to wear as a racing driver and a helmet, and it looked like she was going to race. Baldy was standing next to him, and it seemed that the two of them had just had an argument.
Baldy bought the special car that Sun Qing used to race in order to reminisce the time they spent together. The money to buy the car came from the points he won in the race.
When Sun Qing saw me, her expression became a little unnatural. She asked coldly, "What are you still doing here?"
"How can you live without hatred?" I asked directly without beating around the bush.
"It's none of your business how live!" Sun Qing turned around and strode into the car, then shouted to the bald man, "If you beat me, I'll be your girlfriend."
Seeing this, I quickly sat in the passenger seat.
Sun Qing turned around and asked, "I'm going to die, are you going too?"
I answered without hesitation: "Go."
She frowned, started the car skillfully, released the handbrake, and stepped on the accelerator. The car rushed forward like an arrow, and the needle on the speedometer kept moving to the right. Sun Qing drove the car in the crowded city streets, causing a lot of shouting and cursing, and ran red lights without hesitation.
The bald man was chasing behind in another racing car.
My memory went back to the past, when I was sitting in the passenger seat and she was driving the same way, taking the same road.
But the scenery along the road has changed a lot, including the relationship between me and Sun Qing.
The huge roar seemed to be mocking everything that happened to Sun Qing and me. No one expected things to develop to this point.
It was as if I had never expected that one day I would be sitting in the passenger seat, with Sun Qing, who hated me, sitting next to me.
If time can travel, I want to travel back to the past. We were so simple at that time. Even if there was infinite bitterness in our hearts, we could still cry.
And now, Sun Qing only hates me, and my friendship with her can never go back to what it used to be.
Sun Qing stared at the front and continued to step on the accelerator.
The bald man followed closely behind.
There are many bends on the mountain road. There is a mountain wall on my right and a cliff on Sun Qing's left, but Sun Qing's speed did not slow down.
When we were turning the corner, the bald guy suddenly accelerated and drifted to the front from my right. Sun Qing's car was in the left lane, and at this time, a bus was speeding over on the left lane.
Sun Qing calmly turned the steering wheel dodged. My heart, which had been in my throat, finally settled down. Just as I was rejoicing, I suddenly heard a "bang". I opened my eyes and saw that the car driven by the bald man in front of me on the left collided with another car.
Sun Qing opened her eyes wide and stepped on the brakes hastily, but the braking distance was still not enough. She suddenly moved the steering wheel to the right, and the driving position hit the rear of the bald man's car.
I hurriedly used the bag to protect my abdomen, and my forehead hit the car hard. A violent shaking and pain followed, and my eyes were full of blood.
I just felt pain all over my body. I turned my head with difficulty to see how Sun Qing was doing, but in my blurry vision, I only saw her lying unconscious on the steering wheel.
Finally, my consciousness also fell into darkness.
When I woke up, the first person I saw was Zhuang Li. My mind was still stuck on the car accident and I couldn't react to why Zhuang Li showed up.
I closed my eyes and smelled a strong smell of disinfectant. My forehead still hurt badly and even my thoughts were numb.
"Lanlan." Zhuang Li called me softly.
I slowly opened my eyes and looked around, only to find that I was already in the hospital.
Where are Sun Qing and Baldy?
I woke up with a start and stood up suddenly. Maybe it was because I stood up too suddenly that I felt dizzy.
"Lanlan, don't be excited, the child is fine." Zhuang Li's tone was full of excitement.
I stared at Zhuang Li blankly, suddenly not knowing what to say.
He hugged me excitedly, and with infinite joy in his tone, he said, "We have a child. While waiting for you to wake up, I even thought of a name. If it's a boy, we'll call him Zhuang Nan. If it's a girl, we'll call her Zhuang Lan."
I frowned and asked, "Where are Sun Qing and Baldy?"
"The man is dead, Sun Qing..." Zhuang Li said hesitantly, "Both legs were amputated..."
I opened my eyes wide and tears kept falling.
It was Sun Qing who saved me. She turned the steering wheel to the right and risked her life to save me. Otherwise, I would have been the one hit.
How could she be so stupid? She obviously hated me in her heart, so why did she save me at the most critical moment? What was she thinking at that moment?
I leaned on Zhuang Li's shoulder and burst into tears.
I originally thought that I would never shed tears again in this life, but Sun Qing still punished me in her own way, making me feel guilty towards her all my life and in excruciating pain.
The broken heart and the broken body are a double blow to Sun Qing.
And the young man who had been silently guarding Sun Qing can no longer be seen.
Sun Qing must be in pain too. She will feel guilty towards him from now on. She once killed Su Jingnian with her own hands, and now she indirectly killed another person. How heartbroken Sun Qing must be.
My tears kept falling down, all falling on Zhuang Li's neck. I almost fainted from crying, and the whole ward was filled with my sobs.
Zhuang Li comforted him softly, "Don't cry. Crying too much is not good for the child."
I shook my head and cried, "Sun Qing saved me... Why is God so unfair to her?"
Zhuang Li patted my back and murmured something that I couldn't hear clearly. My mind was full of thoughts about what Sun Qing would look like when she cried bitterly.
This life is too long and too bitter. I hope that in the next life I can be an ordinary person, have an ordinary family, ordinary friends, and an ordinary lover to live an ordinary life together.
It was as if the whole world's sorrow was burdened on my shoulders, so heavy that it almost tore my body apart and made me unable to cry out in pain.
In this city where even the moonlight cannot penetrate, there is only coldness.
When Zhuang Li said Sun Qing had woken up, I lay on the hospital bed for a long time before I went to see her.
Standing outside the ward, I didn't dare to look at her expression .
After standing at the door for a long time, I pushed it open and walked in.
Sun Qing was lying on the hospital bed, eyes open, her face as calm as dead water. Just like the attitude I showed when I woke up after knowing the truth. It was a rejection of the world.
I walked up to her, slowly knelt down with red eyes, sobbing, "I'm sorry..."
I don’t know why, but seeing her like this made me want to cry.
Sun Qing said calmly: "You don't have to say sorry, I finally got my revenge on you in this way."
“But…but…” Sun Qing still has a long life to live in the future. How can she walk without legs?
"Ding Lanyin, you will owe me your whole life, and you will live an uneasy life! I can't be happy anymore, so I don't care, but you still have Zhuang Li! Since you don't love him, using him won't cause you any harm. Now... I finally got what I wanted." Sun Qing still hates me until now, so much so that she can hurt herself to get revenge on me.
"Why can't you let go of your hatred..."
"Maybe in the next life, but not in this life!"
I stood up slowly, looked at the pale Sun Qing, and asked one last question: "What would you have done if Zhuang Li hadn't made a deal with you?"
“I will bless you with a smile.”
One wrong step leads to all wrong.
Things might not have developed like this, but Zhuang Li intervened and caused so many things to happen later.
The culprit is still Zhuang Li.
I will never be able to eliminate the hatred in Sun Qing's heart in this lifetime.
The bald man died, and she never had love again.
I leaned against the wall, slid down little by little, sat on the cold floor, covered my mouth and cried. People were coming and going in the hospital, no one had time to care about the person crying sadly.
There is a beast in everyone's heart. Once awakened, it will do many things that go off the track. Zhuang Li awakened the beast in my heart.