Chapter 7: Time Never Turns Back 04
On weekends, I didn't go to work in the milk tea shop, but chose to stay at home, hoping to isolate myself from everything and make my mind clearer. I spent a lot of time watching Stephen Chow's comedies, emptying my mind and immersing myself in the joy created by Stephen Chow.
Suddenly, there was a rapid knock on the door, and I reflexively asked loudly, "Who is it?"
"Sister, it's me, Wen Shaoye!"
Wen Shaoye's voice came through the crack in the door. I couldn't help but frown and hesitated for a while, but still opened the door for him with an impatient look on my face.
"sister."
Wen Shaoye looked at me with some timidity, and he slipped away in a flash. But when I saw the person who appeared at my bedroom door with him, I felt like I had lost my soul and my mind went blank.
I really didn't expect that Ji Chuan would appear in front of me in this way. It really surprised me.
I rolled up the corner of my clothes with my right hand, and my mind came back to my senior year of high school. One weekend, I was resting at home, and Ji Chuan appeared in front of me in this way.
At that time, I regarded Ji Chuan as my everything. I still vaguely remember that when he appeared in front of me, I was so excited and elated that I hugged him and turned around several times. Now, he still appears in front of me in this way, but I am no longer as excited as before, and I don’t feel as happy as before. Instead, I feel a little helpless.
Ji Chuan also seemed to not know how to face me. He stood at the door of my bedroom in silence for a long time, his face full of embarrassment.
I didn't know whether he felt embarrassed in front of me or because he didn't know what to say to me, so I could only curl my lips and pretend to be nonchalant and said, "What are you doing here? Don't you know that suddenly appearing in front of me like this is a disturbance to me?"
Ji Chuan's smile was very forced, and his face looked a little awkward. He stretched out his hand as if he wanted to grab my shoulder, but his hand froze in mid-air.
After a long while, he slowly put his hands behind his back, but he still felt unnatural putting his hands behind his back, so he dropped his hands to the side. He said word by word: "Xiao Ya, I just want to see you and have a good talk with you. Please let me in first, it's not convenient for me to stand here and talk."
I snorted coldly and rejected Ji Chuan's request with a stiff expression: "If you have anything to say, just say it here. After you're done, please leave immediately and never show up at my house like this on your own initiative again, because this will cause trouble to my life."
Ji Chuan looked at me with an indescribably complicated look in his eyes, which made me feel that if I continued to be so ruthless, he would directly carve the four words "ungrateful" on my face.
"Wen Ya, you have really changed. I didn't expect that in just a few days, you have become a completely different person. You have become so heartless and cold. Are you still the lively and lovely Wen Ya that I know?"
Ji Chuan's voice was not loud, but it sounded like thunder to my ears.
He was the one who made the mistake first, so why would he appear in front of me so confidently as if he had done nothing, and even question me in such a tone?
I was extremely disappointed by Ji Chuan like this. I couldn't help but sneer and said, "I have always been like this. Did you only see me clearly after we broke up? You should go find your new girlfriend now instead of showing up at my house in such a shameless way to disturb my life. Ji Chuan, can you please be more straightforward? If we break up, we break up. Can you stop dragging your feet like this?"
The topic of breaking up hurt Ji Chuan. He frowned and looked more and more embarrassed. He was silent and didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to say either. I stood there and looked at Ji Chuan in silence.
There seemed to be tears in Ji Chuan's eyes. I didn't know if I saw it wrongly, but it was these tears that made me feel a little dazed.
I don't know when it started, but when I think of him, I no longer feel as heartbroken as I did at the beginning. Even the breakup, which was the most difficult thing to talk about before, I can now say it so nonchalantly, as if I was talking about someone else's business.
Ji Chuan turned his face away, wiped the tears that were swirling in his eyes, and began to explain to me about himself and Li Jiawei: "Xiao Ya, actually you really misunderstood me and Li Jiawei. I really don't like her. There is really nothing between her and me. She has been pestering me since I entered the Taekwondo Club, taking care of me when I am tired, and telling me jokes when I am in a bad mood. I just think she is more considerate, so I often chat with her. I was just teasing her that day, and I didn't really have any close contact with her. I really didn't expect you to break up with me because of her. Xiao Ya, you know that you are the only person I like over the years. No one knows me better than you, and no one understands me better than you. Do you still remember that you said you would always be with me and never break up? Do you still remember these words?"
I remained silent and didn't say anything.
Seeing that I remained calm, Ji Chuan thought that his words had touched me, so he continued, "I'm sorry, Xiaoya, I hope you can forgive me and give me another chance. I promise to stay away from Li Jiawei in the future. I'm even willing to quit the Taekwondo Club for you, okay? Xiaoya, don't isolate me from your world like this. We are the most similar people!"
I still stood there without saying a word, and Ji Chuan became more and more confused.
This is the first time I have seen Ji Chuan look so bewildered in all these years.
In my memory, this boy was always so confident and flamboyant, as if he had a dazzling halo wherever he appeared, like a proud prince.
However, to Prince Ji Chuan, I am no longer the mermaid princess who is madly in love with him.
Although I have given up many things for him, I really can't choose to continue to compromise when I see him being affectionate with other girls, and then turn into bubbles in the sun while still carrying my blessings for him.
I frowned and said loudly in an extremely cold tone: "Go away, I will not forgive you, there is no possibility between us anymore. I have had enough of your deception and lies, we really can't go back to the past, although you may think that there is nothing between you and Li Jiawei, but I have no way to pretend that nothing has happened. Face the reality, we have broken up, and you should go and find your own happiness. Maybe you will find that a girl like Li Jiawei is the most suitable for you."
Without waiting for Ji Chuan's response, I closed the door, blocking his gaze, and also blocking our past, present and future, as well as the possibility of our eventual reunion.
The name Ji Chuan eventually became a thing of the past, a period of youth that could only be used to reminisce.
I turned up the volume of Stephen Chow's movies very loudly, and only after the movie was over did I curl up in the quilt and fall into a deep sleep.
The next day, I heard Wen Shaoye say that Ji Chuan stood at the door of my bedroom for a long time, and only turned and left when my father told him to go.
I don’t understand what the point of Ji Chuan doing this is. I still can’t help but feel a little touched, but more of it is the sadness and bitterness brought about by the breakup.
I suppressed the emotions in my heart and told myself over and over again that the past is the past, no one can turn back time and make everything happen again, and no one can pretend nothing happened after being betrayed by the one they love.
