I took the lit torch from the staff and followed the crowd. There were so many people participating in the parade that the torches spread from the stage to far away, looking like stars falling from the sky, giving people the illusion of being in a fairyland.
I followed the team forward, and when we got to the bottom of the mountain, the people in the front had already started to return. The so-called parade is actually throwing the torches in your hands to a designated place on the mountain, which means sending away bad things and bringing back luck and peace.
The hill is not steep and there are well-maintained steps, so it is easy to walk on.
I climbed up step by step, and when I was almost reaching my destination , someone suddenly pulled me and pulled me out of the crowd.
With the light of the torch, I could see clearly that the person pulling me was Luo Yuxin.
My brows immediately frowned.
What is she going to do?
"Bai Xiaodie, do you really want to attend the celebration?" she asked me in a very cold voice.
I nodded and said, "I remember you confirmed it this morning."
"Indeed." She sneered, "I have confirmed it. Do you really want to participate?"
"Then what exactly do you want from me?" I couldn't understand what Luo Yuxin was thinking.
She looked back and said, "This is not the place to talk about this. You must be curious why I hate you so much, even though we are not familiar with each other."
"I hope your answer can satisfy me." I followed her.
"Trust me, you will be very satisfied." She led the way in front. As we were getting further and further away, a sense of uneasiness gradually arose in my heart.
"Where are you taking me?" I slowed down.
She looked back at me and smiled sarcastically: "Of course, let's go to a place where no one can disturb us. I don't want you to scream loudly when I tell you a secret so that others can hear it."
"Just that?" I didn't quite trust her because nothing she did was believable.
"What else can I do?" She walked forward impatiently, and after walking for a while, she finally stopped. "This is it."
This place is very empty, with withered yellow grass on the ground and sparse trees. You can see clusters of stars when you look up.
"Tell me, why?" I really want to know the reason. "Even if it's because of Shu Nian, there is nothing between Shu Nian and me that's worth your concern."
"You are quite self-aware." She snorted and laughed, "Do you know why I hate you so much?"
"Because Shu Nian said something embarrassing to you in front of me that day, and he also took me, who was inferior to you in every way, away from you, so you think I'm annoying and that I don't deserve to stand by Shu Nian's side." I looked into her eyes, and the torch in my hand illuminated her face. "Am I right? Just for something like this, you teamed up with Shen Xiaoxi to plot against me. Don't you think it's childish?"
"Haha, it seems you're not that stupid." She laughed a few times and suddenly stopped. "But, do you really think I just hate you because of something like this? Do you really think I hate you so much that I have to plot against you?"
"What else?" I really couldn't guess. "I don't know you at all. I don't know why two complete strangers would hate each other. Or, Luo Yuxin, can you tell me why? How bad am I that makes you hate me so much?"
"You really don't know anything, Bai Xiaodie." She sighed quietly, "You know nothing, and you feel at ease staying by Shu Nian's side, Bai Xiaodie... you are really annoying."
"So, why?" I couldn't help but yell, "There has to be a reason, there has to be a 'why'!"
"Because of you, someone has become such a cold person!" She yelled back in a voice louder than mine, "He wasn't like that originally. He was... He was warmer than anyone else. It's you. It's all because of you!"
"Because of me?" I looked at her in astonishment, pointed at myself, and looked at her uncertainly, "Are you talking about Shu Nian? Shu Nian became indifferent, ignored people, and unsociable because of me? It's all... because of me?"
She didn't say anything, just looked at me, but her expression told me the answer.
"No, this is impossible. Changing someone's life, making them become what kind of person... How can I possibly do such a thing? Besides, the first time I met Shu Nian was when I was sixteen, which was three years ago. We just met three years ago, and he was already like that then. Don't talk nonsense!" I murmured, repeating in an extremely certain tone, "There must be something wrong... It must be..."
"That's why I hate people like you the most. You always have excuses. You either know nothing or you know the reasons but refuse to believe them." Luo Yuxin said softly, "Please don't appear in front of him again. Don't dance for him anymore."
"I don't want to." There was no way I could agree to this. "Although I don't know what you mean, I can't give up dancing."
"In that case... I'm sorry, Bai Xiaodie." Her eyes suddenly became sharp, and when I was dazed, she pushed me hard.
"You—" I screamed, lost my balance, took several steps back, then stepped on empty air and fell heavily into the pit behind me.
Fortunately, there were a lot of fallen leaves in the pit, which were soft, otherwise I would have been injured. I quickly got up, and the torch in my hand had just been thrown out. Now the pit was pitch black. I was panicking and shouted upwards: "Luo Yuxin, pull me up, don't do this!"
"I will definitely come back to save you. I will come to save you after the celebration is over." She stood on top of the torch, looking down at me, and said, "I just don't want him to see you dancing again. Bai Xiaodie, I will stop you no matter what!"
"Wouldn't it be better if you didn't let me participate in the first place?" I said anxiously, "You were the one who asked me to participate, and you were also the one who told me not to participate!"
"Because I didn't know that you were so important in his eyes, so important that no matter what others did, they couldn't shake your position. Just think of me as a person who goes back on my words, it doesn't matter." She said to me, "Bai Xiaodie, do you know when Shu Nian saw you dancing for the first time?"
"It happened a few days ago." I was sure of this. "He came to see me practice, just that one time!"
"Well, Bai Xiaodie, let me tell you, the first time Shu Nian saw you dancing was ten years ago. At that time, Shu Nian was only nine years old. He saw a little girl dancing in a white ballet skirt in another window of his home. That girl was you. I'm sorry, Bai Xiaodie, I don't want him to see it again. I will definitely come to rescue you, please forgive me."
As she finished speaking, she stepped back, and the light of the torch slowly faded.
I heard her footsteps receding until they disappeared and all around me became dead silent.
I sat on the fallen leaves, hugged my knees with my hands, and looked up at the shining stars in the sky.
After I found out that Shu Nian actually lived in front of my house, I felt lost because I felt that the encounters between him and I were no longer coincidences or miracles.
It would be a miracle if two people who live nearby never meet each other!
But now, Luo Yuxin told me that Shu Nian first saw me dancing ten years ago. So, does that mean that he has been watching me through another window for ten years?
So Luo Yuxin hated me not for such childish reasons. Did she hate me so much because she thought I was the one who made Shu Nian become what he is now?
I smiled bitterly. Was she overestimating me?
How can it be easy to change a person?
My mother sent me to learn ballet when I was very young, and after a few years I could already dance simple dances. But dancing , I always felt inferior. This inferiority complex has occupied a corner of my heart since I put on that white ballet skirt, making me always keep my head down and look at my toes no matter what time it is.
Luo Yuxin must be talking about that time!
The dance teacher told us that there was an event and that 20 of us dancers would be selected to perform. At that time, I was actually a little bit looking forward to being selected, so I secretly put the dance dress into my schoolbag and took it home.
I thought no one knew and no one would see it, but it turns out that’s not the case.
"Really..." I didn't know whether I should cry or laugh. The big hat that Luo Yuxin put on my head was so heavy that it suffocated me.
Time passed by minute by minute. I was very cold. I was only wearing a dance skirt underneath. It was too cold for me to stay in this place in such weather.
I curled up into a ball and trembled. I must be in a very miserable state now.
If Shu Nian saw me, he would laugh at my stupidity. I knew Luo Yuxin hated me, but I still followed her to this place where no one came. This is the third time. The first time she tricked me into attending the celebration, the second time she cut my dance skirt, and this time she trapped me here and I couldn't go anywhere.
Luo Yuxin must like Shu Nian very much, so she hates me like this. She must miss the Shu Nian in her memory, because the current Shu Nian can't see her existence at all.
When she was a child, she must have had that she could not accept this situation.
"It's so..." I buried my face in my arms, "It's so annoying."
I don't want to be stuck here, I want to get back to the celebration, I haven't danced on the stage yet.
How I wish I could be like a butterfly, with a pair of wings to fly away from this dark place. But I don't have wings, so I can't go anywhere.
This time, in a place where you can't see me, Shu Nian, will you come to find me?
Can you find me?
Can you find me accurately?
It's very strange. I was obviously looking forward to him coming to find me, but when I thought about what Luo Yuxin just said to me, I was a little afraid of being found by him.
Is it really because of me that Shu Nian has become such an annoying person?
But even if Shu Nian is so annoying, I still like him.
I like how he always says in a sarcastic tone: "Little Butterfly, I really like guys like you. This makes me look very wise."
He would mock me, laugh at me, and use the harshest words to let me know how bad I was. I hated him and didn't want to meet him, but in the end, I couldn't help but fall in love with him.
What a terrible thing this is!
How I wish I could just hate him forever, until the end of time.
but--
He appeared in the darkness and handed me a pack of tissues warm from his body.
He told me how to become a real butterfly.
He even folded so many leaf dogs for me.
My face felt a little itchy, so I raised my hand to touch it, and then I found that my face was wet. I don't know when the tears started to flow, and they flowed down with an unstoppable momentum.
I had already decided not to let my tears flow easily, but I couldn't even do that.
"Look, little butterfly, you are always so disappointing." Shu Nian's slightly sarcastic voice seemed to come to my ears.
I looked up, and only the starry sky was there to keep me company.
There's no one around me except me.
If there really is telepathy in this world, then if you hear the voice in my heart, please show up!
Come on, Shu Nian. It doesn’t matter even if you mock me.
I tried to pull the corners of my mouth and force myself to smile, but it seemed a little difficult.
"Stop laughing if your smile is so ugly." A slightly cold voice came from above my head.
Ah, is it really him who comes this time?
Is this really not my hallucination?
After confirming that there really was someone holding a torch and looking down from above, and thinking back to that cold voice just now, my heart began to leap with joy.
"It's so dark down there, how can you possibly see my expression?"
I suddenly felt that this scene was very familiar, like that day in the classroom, he sat behind me, but knew that I was smiling.
He said, “I just know it.”
"Did Luo Yuxin ask you to come here?"
Otherwise, would it really be what they call telepathy?
He squatted on it, lighting the surroundings with a torch, with a faint mocking smile on his face: "Do you think Luo Yuxin will tell me?"
"Then you..." I stared at him in amazement, "With so many places to go, how did you find this place?"
"I just know it." He said, throwing down the burning torch, and stretched out the hand that was holding the torch, "Grab my hand."
"boom--"
The torch fell on the leaves and immediately caught fire.
I quickly grabbed his hand and he pulled me up with force. The flames almost reached my feet and I could feel the burning temperature.
The leaves here are so thick. It seems that Luo Yuxin was afraid that I would fall, so she laid a lot of them.
Shu Nian pulled me up, breathing slightly.
He stared at me for a while, which made me feel a little guilty.
"Only an idiot would fall for the third trick." He laughed at me. "Little Butterfly, you are hopelessly stupid. Didn't I tell you to stay away from danger? I've been looking for you for a long time, and I was a little afraid that I would never find you."
"But you still found me." At this moment, my heart was really warm, and my body, which was shivering from the cold, finally stopped trembling. "Even if I'm a fool, you still came to find me!"
He turned his head away and said in a muffled voice: "Because you are gone, who will set off my intelligence and wisdom?"
"Huh, here we go again. You're the smartest person in the world, okay? Is the celebration over?" I had been in a pit before and didn't know how much time had passed.
He shook his head: "Probably not, I didn't see it."
"Then there's a chance I can make it." I glanced at the dirty hem of my skirt, but it didn't matter. As long as I was still in time, I would definitely step onto that stage.
"Run, little butterfly." He grabbed my hand and pulled me forward quickly, "Run to where you want to go no matter what."
A place I want to go no matter what...
Shu Nian, do you know?
The place Bai Xiaodie wants to go most is by your side!
On the way, Shu Nian told me that the reason he came to see me was because of Xia Nuo.
The first person to notice that I was missing was actually Shanuo.
After returning from the parade on the mountain, he went backstage to look for me, but didn't see me, thinking that I was with Shu Nian. So he found Shu Nian in the crowd, but still didn't see me.
He asked Shu Nian where I had been, and only then did Shu Nian realize that I was not backstage.
"It's possible that I haven't arrived yet." I said breathlessly.
"Idiot, I saw you leaving the house," he muttered.
I forgot again that my house is right next to his.
The celebration had already begun, and no matter how hard they looked, they couldn't find me. The only possibility was that I was trapped somewhere. He and Xia Nuo came to look for me together, and they each searched for a place. In the end, he was lucky enough to find me trapped in the pit.
I still find it incredible because the probability of finding me fallen into a pit in such a large area is so small.
We were talking as we ran down the mountain. Fortunately, the mountain was not steep and it was not dangerous to run. When we ran to the stage, it was my turn to perform.
Luo Yuxin on the stage looked very calm because she thought I was trapped in a pit and there was no way I could step onto the stage.
"Xiaodie!" Xia Nuo looked at me in surprise, with beads of sweat on his face. It seemed that he had traveled to many places to find me. "You're back?"
"Well, thank you, Shanuo." I nodded at him, but now was not the time to talk.
I took off my coat and threw it to Shu Nian. It was really cold to wear only a dance dress in this season. But I didn't feel cold at all, because my heart was more passionate than ever before.
Since Shu Nian was able to find me in the dark woods, something close to a miracle happened, so I can definitely let everyone know that Bai Xiaodie has grown up and is no longer the Bai Xiaodie who was said to be unlovable when she was a child.
"You..." Luo Yuxin looked at me incredulously, her eyes full of anger, disgust, shock, and disbelief. She subconsciously cast her gaze towards the audience, and her eyes dimmed instantly when she touched the coat that belonged to me in Shu Nian's hand, like a star losing its light.
She seemed very tired. She opened her mouth and wanted to say something, but in the end she just looked at me with a complicated expression, then left quietly, leaving the stage to me.
Everyone was staring at my strange dance dress. I must have looked really embarrassed!
There are a lot of leaves stuck to my dance skirt, but it doesn’t matter. Even if the white swan doesn’t have beautiful feathers, it is still a proud swan.
The music started, I opened my arms, bowed to the audience, and then danced gently to the music.
"The Dying Swan" is a very sad dance. A wounded swan longs to return to the blue sky. It struggles to flap its wings, but it can't fly. However, the swan never gives up and wants to fly until it dies.
The dance lasted only five minutes. The audience went from whispering at the beginning to being silent at the end. It was very quiet. I knew that was their recognition of me.
After the song ended, I stood on the stage and bowed. I saw a man standing in the front of the crowd. He stared at me blankly, tears on his face and red eyes. It was my father.
I walked directly down from the stage and Shu Nian handed me the coat.
Shanuo came over and said with a smile, "What a great dance."
"Thank you." I said with a smile.
At this time, the host had come on stage and introduced the next people to appear. I was a little surprised that the person who appeared after me was Shen Xiaoxi.
Her program was singing. She stood on the stage wearing a brand new little dress, but her face looked strange.
Shen Xiaoxi always , but now she is a little lost, and there is a hint of anger in her eyes.
"Shen Xiaoxi...what's going on?" I accidentally asked the doubts in my heart.
At this time, Xia Nuo looked at me apologetically and said, "Sorry, it may be my problem."
"You?" I didn't quite understand what Xia Nuo meant.
Xia Nuo was silent for a moment, then said, "During the parade, I was unconscious for about ten minutes... I mean, it might be that my second personality said something to Shen Xiaoxi. When I regained consciousness, I only saw Shen Xiaoxi's back as she ran away."
"Ah, what did you say?"
This is so surprising. What did Xia Nuo, the second personality, say to Shen Xiaoxi to make her lose her composure like this?
Shen Xiaoxi had already started singing on the stage, but she made many mistakes in singing the lyrics, and even forgot the words. The audience was laughing, but they were all very kind laughs, but to Shen Xiaoxi, it must have been a mockery!
Shen Xiaoxi's face became more and more ugly. In the end, her eyes were red. Then she dropped the microphone and ran away from the stage.
This ending is so ridiculous. She and Luo Yuxin teamed up to plot against me and wanted to make me look bad in front of everyone, but in the end it was Shen Xiaoxi who was made a fool of herself in front of everyone.
"What on earth could make her lose her composure like this?" I looked at Xia Nuo blankly, and Xia Nuo was also confused.
"Perhaps something as important as your dance dress was shattered." Shu Nian said lightly, "The most direct and effective way to destroy a person is to destroy her faith."
Belief?
What is Shen Xiaoxi's belief?