In the evening, my father knocked on my door.
I opened the door and looked at him quietly.
He was holding an exquisite box with a beautiful bow on it in his hands and had a smile on his face.
He said, "Xiaodie, this is what your dad bought for you. Try it on and see if it fits you."
I didn't answer, I just looked at him.
He seemed to feel guilty about my gaze and looked away, but his eyes happened to fall on the dance skirt I was mending.
His expression froze, and he said, "Xiao Die, that skirt can no longer be worn and cannot be repaired. Just throw away useless things. Dad will buy you a new one."
"Thank you." I said calmly, then took a step back and closed the door with my hand, "But I don't need it."
I really want to ask him if she let Aunt Chen throw away my mother's things because those things were useless and there was no need to keep them in this house.
But in the end, I could only close the door helplessly. What separated him and me was not a road that we could just walk across, but a natural chasm that neither of us could reach.
I went back to my desk, picked up the torn ballet skirt and continued sewing it. My fingers were pierced in several places, but I didn't feel any pain, probably because my mood had changed.
Dad stood at the door for a while, and finally just sighed and said helplessly: "Dad left the dance dress at the door."
Then I heard his leaving footsteps.
I ignored him and continued doing my own thing. I knew that this time he had definitely bought the right size, and I just had to go out and get the box in, and I could wear the new dress to the celebration, and then he would think I had forgiven him.
I don't want this to happen. So much has happened that a tutu can't make up for.
That night, the light in my room was on all night, and the tattered ballet skirt was finally repaired when the first rays of sunlight shone through the window in the early morning.
I looked at the dance dress that was not repaired very well, and I was very happy. Although the dress was no longer beautiful, it was repaired by me.
After putting the skirt on the bed, I opened the door and found the box with the bow still at the door. I picked it up, went downstairs, and threw it on the coffee table in the living room.
I opened the door and the sunlight felt warm on my body.
I took a deep breath. The morning air had a special smell mixed with dew and grass. It was very comfortable. Taking a few breaths seemed to drive away the fatigue and sleepiness in my body.
My stomach was growling, I was a little hungry. I had only eaten a little last night, and then I was busy all night, so I didn't even have time to drink a sip of water. I felt my pocket and found ten yuan in it, which was more than enough for a breakfast.
There was a busy breakfast shop in the alley, and I went there early, so there was still room. I ordered a bowl of tofu pudding and two fried dough sticks, and then sat down at a table outside.
After eating the hot tofu pudding, I felt warm all over. As I was eating, a large shadow suddenly blocked the sunlight in front of me. I looked up and saw Luo Yuxin standing in front of me.
She seemed surprised that I was here. She frowned and looked at me coldly, asking, "Bai Xiaodie, why are you here?"
"I'm just having breakfast. It's none of your business where I eat it, right?" I answered her indifferently.
Luo Yuxin snorted and said sarcastically, "You didn't come here just because you knew Shu Nian often came here to eat, did you?"
"Excuse me, does Shu Nian come here often? Thank you for telling me, otherwise I really wouldn't know!" I fought back against her forcefully.
Seeing that I didn't seem to be lying, Luo Yuxin sat down opposite me and said coldly, "No, that's the best! Now, let me confirm with you, are you going to attend today's celebration or not?"
I drank the last mouthful of tofu pudding, put down the spoon and looked at her, saying, "Luo Yuxin, I will attend the celebration. I have made up my mind. No matter what method you plan to use to make me look bad at the celebration and let Shu Nian laugh at me, I am no longer afraid. Although you said that you cut my skirt because you didn't want to stand on the same stage with me during the rehearsal, the real reason is because you saw it, right?"
I continued to expose her without leaving any trace.
"That night, when Shu Nian supported me and sent me home, you saw it, right? You thought Shu Nian was hugging me, right? So you hated me and were jealous of me. In order to vent your hatred and jealousy, you cut my skirt in a rage."
Hearing this, she was stunned, her eyes were full of surprise: "How did you know?"
"Because when I turned around, I saw a shadow, and I thought, there was no one else but you." I looked into her eyes and said.
"Humph, so what if it was me? Didn't Shu Nian hold you in his arms and send you home that night?" Now that everything was out in the open, she no longer concealed the fact that she had been peeping, and said angrily, "Originally, I just wanted to wait for Shu Nian to come home and invite him to watch the Autumn Festival program no matter what, so that I could let him see you make a fool of yourself on the stage. I didn't expect to see such a scene, so I was furious, and the next day I asked you for the skirt and did something to it."
"You really must have seen it wrong. I sprained my ankle that day and Shu Nian just helped me back up. But you, you were standing outside my house. How can you say you were waiting for Shu Nian? If you were going to wait, you should have waited at his door, right?" I wanted to expose her lie.
She looked at me with strange eyes, as if she was looking at a complete stranger.
"Bai Xiaodie, are you playing dumb with me? The reason I was waiting for Shu Nian there is because Shu Nian's home is also there."
I was stunned: "Where does Shu Nian live too?"
"That's too fake, Bai Xiaodie." Her voice became colder and colder, and her eyes became more and more hateful. "Shu Nian lives right in front of your house, so close. Don't tell me you didn't know about it."
After she finished speaking, she didn’t want to pay any more attention to me, so she stood up and bought breakfast to take away.
Before leaving, she turned her back to me and said, "Since you want to attend the celebration so much, then go ahead! You will make a fool of yourself anyway. I will definitely wake Shu Nian up and make him stop looking at you."
After she finished speaking, she strode away, leaving me sitting there in a daze. It was not until the breakfast shop became crowded and noisy that I paid and left.
What Luo Yuxin said shocked me. I really didn’t know where Shu Nian’s home was, and I had never wanted to know.
The alley where we live is quite old. There are residents on both sides of the alley, and some of the houses are independent two-story buildings, and some are unit-type residential buildings. The dividing line between residential buildings and independent houses is right on my side.
I stood at the foot of the residential building in front of my house and looked up. Shu Nian... did he really live here?
Had he been living this close to me all this time and I knew nothing about it?
Coincidentally, at this moment, the window on the second floor of the residential building was pushed open, and then I saw a familiar figure appear at the window.
He stood facing the rising sun, the sunlight falling on his hair, face, and shoulders, and his whole body seemed to be shining.
I just looked up at him, forgetting to look away.
"Little Butterfly?" I heard him call me in surprise, "You..."
"Hello." I wanted to say something, but at that moment I didn't know what to say.
He was stunned for a moment and suddenly stopped talking.
He stood upstairs, looking down at me; I stood downstairs, looking up at him.
I didn't know what kind of expression I should show him. The moment he saw me, he was just a little surprised. What was he surprised about?
Surprised that I saw him here, or surprised that I was here?
He knows where my home is, always has.
But he never told me that he lived right in front of my house.
Why didn't he tell me? Why was it Luo Yuxin who told me this?
I remember that I always met him by coincidence when I was in the most miserable times. I thought it was a fate specially arranged by God, and he was the only existence that could give me comfort and warmth in despair.
But is it really like that?
Really... just a coincidence?
What kind of mentality did he have to appear in front of me and pretend to be just passing by?
Has he really been watching me so closely all this time, as Luo Yuxin said?
I asked him why he was so nice to me, and he told me that the answer had always been in my heart.
"Do you have a lot of things to ask me?" Suddenly, a voice sounded beside me.
I don’t know when Shu Nian came down.
He turned his head lazily and said calmly: "Ask me. If I'm in a good mood, maybe I'll tell you."
"I do have a lot of questions." I lowered my head and looked at my toes , "but because there are so many questions, I don't know where to start. So, give me some time to sort them out. After the celebration, can you give me all the answers then?"
He was stunned for a moment, then nodded and said with a smile: "Then I'll wait for you to ask me, little butterfly!"
After saying that, he turned and went upstairs, and I also walked towards my home.
When I opened the door, Shen Xiaoxi was sitting on the sofa in the living room, and Aunt Chen was cutting her fingernails. When they saw me come in, their expressions froze for a moment, but soon returned to normal.
Now, I feel sick even to talk to them.
I walked to the stairs and saw a box tied with a bow on the trash can that I had left on the coffee table before leaving . I chose to ignore it, went upstairs, and locked myself in the room.
I sat on the bed and suddenly felt very tired.
I glanced at the open window, quickly stood up, walked to the window, shut it tightly, and drew the curtains. The room was pitch black, and I locked myself in the dark room and slept for a whole day, not even going downstairs for lunch.
It was not until the sun set and night fell that I drew open the curtains and opened the windows to let the cold night wind in.
The starry sky is very beautiful tonight. On a moonless night, the stars cover the entire night sky, twinkling, gathering countless thoughts and turning into a river flowing through the night sky.
I put on the ballet skirt that I had repaired with great effort and put a thick long coat on the outside.
No matter what, I don't want to miss the celebration tonight.
If my ankle is sprained, I just need to put the bone back in place; if my dance skirt is cut, I just need to mend it. I have finally come to this day, and I don’t want to give up no matter what.
I don't want to give up anything anymore, because all along, I have let the important things in my life slip away, doing nothing but watching, feeling sorry for myself, and imagining myself as poor Cinderella.
But life is not a fairy tale, I am not Cinderella, I am Bai Xiaodie.
I pushed open the door and strode towards the celebration stage. The celebration officially started at seven o'clock and lasted for two hours. It was now half past six. It took more than ten minutes to walk from my home to the celebration stage.
Maybe everyone went to the stage. As I walked along, the lights in every house were off, and only the street lamps cast cold light on the ground. When I passed the fitness base, I subconsciously turned my head to take a look. It was on that bench that Shu Nian showed me the most gentle smile for the first time.
I took a deep breath and put Shu Nian out of my mind. Don't think about it. Now, Bai Xiaodie, the only thing on your mind is how to dance that ballet well.
The area around the makeshift stage was no longer an empty space, as many vendors were selling small items there. Unlike the deserted residential areas, this place was crowded with people, and many people came out.
I was walking aimlessly in the crowd when I suddenly heard someone calling me. I stopped and looked towards the source of the voice. I saw Xia Nuo wearing a plaid jacket and a scarf around his neck. His eyes sparkled when he smiled.
He waved at me: "Bai Xiaodie, this way."
I walked through the crowd and came to him. Just as I was about to speak, Shen Xiaoxi came to Xia Nuo with two cups of hot milk tea in her hands. When she saw me, her expression turned cold and her eyes were obviously unhappy. Maybe she blamed me for disturbing her and Xia Nuo's world of two!
"What a coincidence." I pretended not to see Shen Xiaoxi and just talked to Xia Nuo.
He looked at me. Because I was going to perform, I tied my hair up, combed my long bangs up, and tied it into a bun on top of my head.
I felt a little uncomfortable with his gaze and coughed lightly.
Xia Nuo reacted and said, "What a coincidence. I came here specifically to watch you dance. Didn't we agree on that before?"
"Well, thank you for remembering." I said, "I will definitely dance well."
"Xia Nuo, let me take you to the backstage." Shen Xiaoxi finally couldn't help but speak, "You haven't seen our backstage yet."
"Okay." Xia Nuo did not refuse Shen Xiaoxi. He turned his head and looked at me, and suddenly explained to me, "I just met classmate Shen. She took me around. This celebration is quite fun."
"Well, go ahead." I put my hands in my pockets and watched him and Shen Xiaoxi leave.
I stood in the crowd, surrounded by bustling people, everyone was talking and laughing, everyone was so happy, should I smile too?
Just as I was daydreaming, a burst of singing came from the stage. Everyone was attracted by the singing and walked towards the stage. I looked at my watch. It was not yet seven o'clock. Could it be that the celebration was going to start early?
The host today is Luo Yuxin, and there is also a freshman boy in the community.
Luo Yuxin was wearing a pink little dress and had a little makeup on, looking very cute.
I thought of Shu Nian. Although he didn't say it, he didn't seem to like Luo Yuxin very much. Well, in fact, in this world, there are very few people who can be appreciated by him!
If you don’t care about something, just pretend it doesn’t exist. This is Shu Nian.
But why doesn't Shu Nian like a cute girl like Luo Yuxin? Don't boys like cute and pretty girls?
"Good evening, dear audience friends . Because it's quite cold today and it's too dangerous to parade in the mountains too late, we have carefully considered and decided to hold the torch parade before the celebration. After the parade, everyone can come back here and enjoy the wonderful show we present to you." Luo Yuxin said, bowing slightly and then taking a step back.
I was a little surprised. A parade first and then a performance, isn't this arrangement too sudden?