There was no movement in the room and Aunt Shen stopped making noise.
Xiao Xia came out, her expression somewhat sad: "My aunt's condition wasn't that serious originally. She heard others say that Xiao Bei went to the rooftop because of you, and that Xiao Bei and another boy both liked you, and then..."
Xiao Xia patted my shoulder, she wanted to comfort me: "Actually, this is not your fault. No one can control emotional matters. No one wants this to happen. Don't think too much. Go back first!"
——He fell down because you said you didn’t like him!
I repeated these words in my mouth. It turned out that I was the one who killed He Xubei. If I hadn't said that, He Xubei wouldn't have lost his concentration, and if he hadn't lost his concentration, he wouldn't have slipped so accidentally... It turned out that I was really the one who killed him!
Sitting by the artificial lake in the park, I missed He Xubei more and more. The more I thought about him, the sadder I felt. Tears kept flowing. I actually killed the person I loved the most. Why didn’t I answer at that time? Why did I say those words?
Yi Ping'an, do you like me?
He Xubei, how could you ask such a stupid question? I definitely like you! I have liked you very much since I was seven years old when I saw you wearing a white suit and playing the piano!
It’s almost the beginning of winter and the weather is getting colder. He Xubei, won’t you be too cold alone?
The lake water is black at night, so black that you can’t see the bottom, and it has a bewitching charm.
I saw the sun smiling at me, An An, An An! He actually stopped stuttering when he spoke.
I saw my father waving at me again. Next to him stood a woman who looked somewhat like me. He said, "An An, go home with mom and dad. Why are you still outside when it's dark?"
I saw He Xubei smiling at me and he said, Yi Ping'an, it's so cold here, can you come and keep me company?
Okay, I'll accompany you!
I walked to the edge of the artificial lake. The cold water stung my skin, but I was already numb .
I walked towards the center of the lake step by step. The water flooded my eyes, and then I couldn't see anything, but I could still hear, I heard a very anxious voice - Yi Pingan, Yi Pingan, what are you doing? Don't do anything stupid!
When I woke up, all I saw was white, and I suddenly felt a little panicked. I hate the hospital with its cold white walls and the smell of disinfectant!
I think no one likes to go to the hospital all the time, so you see, there is no hospital entrance with a greeter smiling and saying to you: "Welcome!"
But recently I have developed a "connection" with hospitals.
The sun during the car accident, then my dad, and now I wake up in the hospital again and again. I remember that I was clearly by the lake in the park, so why am I in the hospital now?
"An'an, are you awake?" Shanshan raised her head from the bedside. It seemed that she had slept all night. She rubbed her eyes, "An'an, why are you so stupid?"
"stupid?"
I asked Shanshan to rock the bed. I looked at her in confusion, I didn't understand what she meant.
"An An, why did you jump into the lake to commit suicide?"
Suicide? Jump into the lake? I felt a little dizzy, and clapped my hands twice. I remembered that I went to see He Xubei's mother yesterday, and then I was alone by the artificial lake...
"An'an, the dead cannot be resurrected! They in heaven will not feel at ease watching you like this." Shanshan's eyes were filled with liquid. I think she must be very sad. "An'an, take good care of yourself, okay?"
I nodded, my lips were a little dry. Shanshan brought me a glass of water, and I drank it all in one gulp. I asked her, "Shanshan, did you take me to this hospital?"
Shanshan didn't answer me immediately. Her eyes were fixed outside the door. I looked in the direction she was standing and saw Li Ye standing there.
Shanshan said: "It was Li Ye who discovered you."
I don't know how Li Ye happened to appear and save me, but I still don't want to see him now. Some things have already happened and it's useless to blame anyone. I just don't want to see him, because it will make me miss He Xubei even more sad.
"An An, you..." Ling Shanshan wanted to say something, but Li Ye stopped her.
"Yi Ping'an, I know you don't want to see me, but you don't have much left, please cherish yourself." Li Ye said to Shanshan again, "Ling Shanshan, please take good care of her. I have already asked for leave from school for you."
Shanshan nodded without saying anything, and I looked out the window.
Outside, it was raining in early winter.