"Stay away from Guo Jiani." Just as I walked to the door, Wang Sisi suddenly said to me, "She is a girl who loves acting. She is much worse than you think. Don't let others take away what belongs to you easily. When you should say no, you should say it loudly."
I smiled a little and said, "Thank you, thank you always."
She was stunned for a moment, then laughed softly: "What an annoying guy, thanks for this, I don't need it."
I walked towards the dormitory step by step, holding the quilt. I thought of many things that I usually overlooked. In fact, many times, Wang Sisi helped me to block Guo Jiani's questions, especially when Guo Jiani asked me about Song Yan.
The last time she quarreled with me, she probably wanted to remind me that it is much better to refuse and say no appropriately than to always compromise and not object to anything others say.
It was just that Guo Jiani and I had a quarrel, which was unexpected. Later, I asked Song Yan who called him that day to tell him that my leg was injured. He showed me the caller ID and the person who called him was Wang Sisi.
So I say, thanks all the way.
Sure enough, guys who are straightforward are not bad guys.
When I returned to the dormitory, Guo Jiani was sitting at the desk playing on the computer. When she saw me come back, she subconsciously turned her body to the side and blocked the computer screen.
I find it ridiculous. I have no interest in her privacy at all, so it's really unnecessary for her to do this.
I put the quilt on the bed. It started raining outside, so I walked over and closed the window. Fortunately, I didn't have classes in the afternoon, so I didn't have to go to class in the rain.
When Song Yan called me, I was struggling over whether to go to the cafeteria to eat or eat instant noodles in the dormitory.
He said on the phone: "What are you doing? Have you eaten yet?"
"Not yet," I said.
I was a little confused . After the quarrel that day, neither of us mentioned it. He called me and acted as if nothing had happened. But this is probably what friends are like. How can friends hold grudges?
He immediately said, "Then hurry up, let's go eat together. I haven't eaten either, and it's boring to be alone."
"Okay." I was still struggling, but now it seems that I don't need to struggle. "Then see you in the cafeteria in ten minutes."
I hung up the phone, took my meal card, got an umbrella, and planned to go to the cafeteria. However, Guo Jiani quickly turned off the computer, picked up her meal card, and stood up.
I frowned. What does this guy want to do?
Having been harmed by her twice, I have become wary of her.
I walked to the door of the dormitory building, opened my umbrella, and was about to leave when Guo Jiani, who had followed me, suddenly grabbed me and said, "I don't have an umbrella with me. Let's go together."
"Sorry, go get it yourself." Without thinking, I pushed her away and walked into the rain with an umbrella.
But I didn't expect Guo Jiani to grit her teeth and walk directly into the rain, and deliberately walked to my side. Many people looked at us, and I subconsciously quickened my pace.
What exactly does she want to do?
Will others think I'm too stingy, and I'm unwilling to share an umbrella with others while they're getting wet in the rain?
However, no matter what, I think Wang Sisi is right about one thing. People need to say no appropriately. No one is a saint. It is really unfair to yourself to tolerate and forgive others after you have hurt yourself.
I forced myself not to look back and walked all the way to the cafeteria entrance. Song Yan had already arrived and was waiting for me outside.
"Hey, Guo Jiani?" Song Yan was about to talk to me, but his eyes fell on Guo Jiani, who was standing behind me, her whole body wet as if she had fallen into the river.
I looked back at her. It was already late autumn and she was shivering from the cold. I really wanted to say that she deserved it, but I still felt a little bit reluctant.
Your body is your own. It's ok to destroy other people's bodies, but Guo Jiani is so cruel that she even destroys her own body.
"What's going on?" His inquiring eyes swept across my face and finally stopped on Guo Jiani's face.
"It's okay, I forgot to bring an umbrella, and I shouted Nanxi to wait for me. It was raining too hard, so I guess she didn't hear me." Guo Jiani's voice sounded pitiful, with a slight tremor.
I really admire her for being able to turn black into white. It was obviously she who came out without an umbrella. Of course, I was too lazy to guess why she didn't bring an umbrella.
"Then I'll take you back. You'll catch a cold. It's so cold and you're soaked." Song Yan walked up to her and was about to walk with her when he suddenly remembered something and stuffed the umbrella into her hand. "Or you can go back with my umbrella."
"But I came here to eat." Guo Jiani frowned slightly and said, "I don't want to go back now."
I stood aside and watched Guo Jiani and Song Yan. I finally understood why she came with me, because if she came with me, she would be able to see Song Yan. If I shared an umbrella with her, she would act like she had a good relationship with me and chat with Song Yan naturally. Like now, I was cruel enough not to share an umbrella with her, and she used this pitiful attitude to force Song Yan to focus his attention on her.
How can I compete with her? I am just a spectator who can only stand in the corner and watch, and I can never be the protagonist on the stage.
I held the meal card with a little more force, turned around and walked into the cafeteria. I didn't call Song Yan, nor did I go to see Guo Jiani. My mood fell to the bottom at that moment.
I bought some food and sat down in a corner that was not very noticeable. My phone started to ring soon. It was Song Yan calling. I hung up and turned off the phone. I once thought that just standing in the corner would be enough, but he came over without permission. When I just had some illusions, he made me realize that they were just illusions.
The old people are right. If you have never been to the outside world, you will not have any longing for it. Once you have been there, you will no longer be able to stay in the small village with peace of mind.
If he hadn't approached me, I wouldn't have had those impossible hopes, because after hope comes despair, and this feeling is really uncomfortable. I thought I did the right thing, I said no to Guo Jiani, but in the end I still lost.
I hurriedly ate, and I didn't even know what I had eaten. When I walked out of the cafeteria, it was still raining outside. I held an umbrella and walked into the rain. The raindrops hit the umbrella, making crackling sounds. I began to waver. I once firmly believed that I could always watch him quietly, but now I found that I couldn't do it at all.
I didn’t want to go back to the dormitory, so I walked aimlessly with an umbrella. I turned off my phone and the world seemed to become quiet all of a sudden.
Song Yan, are you with Guo Jiani now? Did you send her back? Do you still remember me who you habitually forget in the corner?
Suddenly I felt itchy on my face. I reached out to touch it and found that my face was already wet. The world in front of me quickly blurred. I quickly raised the back of my hand to wipe away my tears. Why should I cry? It was just a secret love, a secret love that did not need to bloom or bear fruit. I once read this sentence: Who you like is your own business, and it has nothing to do with the other person.
But now, I really want to deny this statement. Who said it has nothing to do with the other person? As long as you like someone, there will always be all kinds of negative emotions. Because you can't get it, you hate it, feel sad, and suffer.
After walking aimlessly for a long time, I suddenly remembered, what if I turned off my phone and Xu Minyou couldn't find me? On rainy days, people with autism are more likely to lose control of their emotions. Thinking of this, I quickly turned on my phone, and suddenly a lot of missed calls and text messages came in.
The missed call was from Song Yan, and the text message was also from Song Yan.
I didn't look at it and dialed Xu Minyou's number. The call was quickly picked up. His voice was nasal . I asked, "Xu Minyou, are you okay?"
"Where are you?" he asked.
I raised my head and looked around: "There's a big auditorium next to us, what's going on?"
"Stand still, I'll come to you right away." Xu Minyou hung up the phone quickly. I wanted to say something, but there was only a busy tone in the receiver.
It was raining so hard, but no one came. The only sound here was the rain. I called Xu Minyou just to make sure if he was okay. I didn't expect him to come to see me.
Xu Minyou came very quickly, holding a black umbrella, and his clothes all seemed to be black. I didn’t know it before, but now I can probably guess it, because I can’t tell the colors apart, so if they are all black, it won’t look like a weird combination.
He came over, looked at me carefully, and asked, "Nanxi, what's wrong with you?"
"Me? I'm fine." I felt strange. "But you, why did you run out?"
"You sound sad." He smiled slightly, "So I came. You have been helping me all this time, and sometimes I want to help you a little too."
My heart trembled slightly. He just heard my voice, but he heard the sadness in it.
Where's Song Yan? He was right next to me, but I was already very sad because he couldn't see me. I thought it was because of me that I was always ignored and always left alone by him, but Xu Minyou could hear all my feelings from a simple sentence.
I suddenly felt that I was a bit hateful. He could only see me, but what about me? I kept looking at Song Yan. Most of the time, I couldn't think of Xu Minyou. Obviously, I was the only voice he could hear. Because of a word, he came to me. This kind of Xu Minyou made me feel that I was a bit too much.
How long does it take for him to hear a sound in this quiet world?
"Xu Minyou, what do you do when you are alone in the room?" I asked, just wanting to know what his world was like.
Xu Minyou said: "I have a lot of books. My grandfather gave me a lot of books. When I am alone, I read books."
I asked, “What about when you’re not reading?”
"When I'm not reading, I just stare at the white sky ," he said.
Somehow, I felt a little sad. Day after day, he walked by like this, alone, reading or daydreaming, living in his own world, accompanied by silence.
"Don't you feel lonely?" I asked in a low voice, "You are always alone, don't you feel lonely?"
He thought for a moment and said, "I didn't feel lonely before, but then I met you. I saw you occasionally, so most of the time, I would want to see you, but you were not by my side, so I understood that this feeling is loneliness."
My heart suddenly ached. This guy had been impossible to let go of from the beginning. I said, "If you want to see me, you must tell me."
"I dare not." He lowered his head and murmured, "Sometimes I am afraid of disturbing you, afraid that you will feel annoyed."
"No." I forced myself to smile, " Xu Minyou, if it were you, I wouldn't be annoyed."
He stared at me blankly, then nodded: "I believe you."