Everyone has a dream, some people's dreams are simple, some people's dreams are complicated. I am a simple person, but not a pure person. In the past, Qin Le would cut the people who hurt him into pieces and then sprinkle salt on them. Now, Qin Le will just be indifferent and laugh it off, but he still can't let it go in his heart. Because the world is so big, I don't have time to let it go.

When I was 6 years old, I occupied Lin Xiaolun’s bed for the first time. The reason was: I was afraid of the dark and ghosts.
That night, I was wrapped in a blanket alone, and Lin Xiaolun squatted in a corner of the bed and stared at me. I opened my eyes wide and looked out the window, and asked, "Lin Xiaolun, why is there no ghost outside your window?"
Lin Xiaolun's tone was very unhappy, and he was still angry about me occupying his bed, occupying his quilt, and not leaving him a place to sleep: "Ghosts only linger in front of bad children's windows. I am not you."
"I'm not a bad kid, I just like playing with Lin Xiaolun." As a young kid, I didn't want to leave a bad impression on Lin Xiaolun, so I quickly sat up to clarify.
Lin Xiaolun rolled his eyes at me and said two words: "Idiot."
"You are the fool." I started to argue with Lin Xiaolun.
There was no light in the room, only the light from the neon lights outside. But even in such dim light, I saw Lin Xiaolun blushing, with a somewhat arrogant expression, and then he said reluctantly: "Idiot! I'm not saying you are really an idiot..."
I opened my mouth, showing a row of neat white teeth, and then rushed over, hugging Lin Xiaolun and rubbing his head. Lin Xiaolun was so scared that he didn't know what to do. He didn't know whether to push me or not, and he didn't dare to shout for help. He could only let me hold him, his body was like a stone slab, not daring to move.
Suddenly, there was an earthquake and my world collapsed. When I woke up, the train had stopped. I was on the train from Baotou to Tianjin West, and there was still an hour to Tianjin West Station.
I took out my cell phone. The SIM card I was using had been turned off for nearly a month. I was not interested in what had happened during that month.
It was already past 8 o'clock in the evening when the train arrived at Tianjin West Railway Station. I went alone and returned alone. No one would worry about me, and I didn't want anyone to worry about me.
When I got back to the dormitory, Yangyang and Pei Ya were eating instant noodles together. I looked at Ding Chuchu's empty bed and asked, "Are you the only two here?"
Yangyang said without even looking up, "Ding Chuchu called and said she's in Beijing with Lin Xiaolun and will be back in a few days."
"Is Beijing that fun? I've been there several times, but I didn't feel that way!" I expressed my confusion and walked to my seat to pack my things.
"By the way, Lele." Yangyang took a sip of noodles and said, "Guo Lu came to the dormitory to look for you and said that your phone was unreachable. We said you hadn't come yet. Why don't you call him back?"
In the end, the person who cared about me the most during the entire winter vacation was Guo Lu.
I smiled and said, "Thank you."
After packing up my things in the dormitory, I asked Guo Lu’s roommates where Guo Lu was. They said he was practicing in the basketball hall.
I bought some snacks and a box of mineral water to the basketball court. The boys on the court were so young and energetic. A boy next to Guo Lu saw me and reminded Guo Lu.
Guo Lu turned around and saw me in the audience. He greeted me, said hello to his teammates, and then ran up to find me.
"Le Le, where did you go this winter vacation? I called you every day but couldn't get through." Guo Lu climbed up and asked me without even having time to catch his breath.
I handed him a bottle of mineral water and said, "I went on a trip. The day before I left, my phone fell into the water. I took the card out and forgot to put it back in when I left."
"I'm glad you're okay." Guo Lu took a sip of water and wiped the sweat off his face. "We have to prepare for the school league competition as soon as school starts. We have to practice every day. I'm afraid I'll be busy during this period."
I looked at the athletes on the field and asked, "Are these the players representing our school in the competition?"
"Yeah." Guo Lu nodded.
"Lin Xiaolun is not participating?" I felt very strange from the beginning. I remembered that Lin Xiaolun also practiced last semester. Although he was still a freshman, he had excellent basketball skills and agility. Whether as a forward or a guard, he was particularly outstanding.
What's more, he loves basketball.
Guo Lu hesitated for a moment, then shook his head and said, "Lin Xiaolun did not participate."
"Why?" I asked puzzledly, "Do I have to give up those hobbies because I'm with Ding Chuchu?"
The boys who were practicing basketball in the audience stopped when they heard what I said. Guo Lu gently tugged at the corner of my clothes: "Le Le..."
I calmed down my anger and shouted to them, "Here is the water I bought for you. Take a rest."
Guo Lu stood up and asked everyone to take a rest first, and distributed water to the boys who were practicing basketball.
I asked Guo Lu: "Do you know when he will come back from Beijing?"
"Maybe the day after tomorrow." Guo Lu wiped the water from the corner of his mouth, "Don't worry about these things. If he refuses, he will always have his own reasons. You can't force him to do these things."
"What can't be forced?" I said unhappily. "You didn't grow up with him, so you don't know that he has loved playing basketball since he was a child. When he was in junior high and high school, which basketball game did he not participate in? This is such a good opportunity, he will definitely not not participate for no reason. When he comes back, I must ask him clearly."
"Le Le." Guo Lu emphasized, "What happened in the past is in the past. Don't interfere with other people's privacy."
Hearing this, I fell silent.
Seeing this, Guo Lu was a little at a loss and said: "That's not what I meant...Lele, I'm sorry."
"You continue practicing." After saying that, I left the basketball hall.
"Le Le!" Guo Lu called me from behind, but I pretended not to hear him.
No matter what, I refuse to believe that Lin Xiaolun would give up basketball and not participate in such an important competition because of Ding Chuchu.
The scenery around me passed by me like a camera moving backwards . They seemed to be saying to me, Qin Le, Lin Xiaolun gave up on you, so why is it strange that he gave up on basketball? Another voice said to me, come on, in his heart, you are not as important as basketball.
I now wish I could tie Lin Xiaolun to a sandbag and kick him hard for an hour.
After waiting for a long time for Lin Xiaolun and Ding Chuchu to return from Beijing, I couldn't wait to go find them.
Lin Xiaolun and Ding Chuchu were in the study room. I walked straight over and said to Ding Chuchu, "Can I borrow your Lin Xiaolun?" After that, I grabbed Lin Xiaolun's hand and walked out of the study room without caring whether she agreed or not.
When they reached the indoor garden, Lin Xiaolun spoke from behind: "Can you tell me now?"
I let go of his hand, turned my back to him, and asked, "Did you have fun?"
"This is not what you want to ask, right?" Lin Xiaolun seemed to see through my thoughts.
I turned around and asked, "Why don't you participate in the school league game?"
Lin Xiaolun frowned: "I just don't want to participate, do I need any other reason?"
No, that's not the case. Lin Xiaolun shouldn't be like this...
I saw that Lin Xiaolun looked a little haggard, so I reached out and touched his forehead: "Do you have a fever?"
Before her hand even touched his skin, he stopped her.
"No." Lin Xiaolun said softly.
"Then give me a convincing reason!" In the end, I was unable to change my bad habit of getting to the bottom of things and pestering others until the end.
Lin Xiaolun's grey sweater sleeves covered half of his palms. He touched his nose and said, "I don't want to participate. This is my reason."
I silently looked at the boy . He used to like white shirts, light-colored clothes, smile, and always have reasons for what he said, but now he is no longer the same as before.
"You seem to have changed." I seemed to be smiling, but my heart ached so much.
Perhaps this forced look was too funny and ironic, so Lin Xiaolun replied to me so coldly: "People change, Lele, and you too."
I don’t know when Lin Xiaolun left. He left me coldly, and I felt a little confused and helpless.
I have become afraid of crying now. I have cried too many times for this boy whom I stubbornly like. Every time I tell myself that this is the last time, but in the end, rationality still loses to emotion.
He has kept me at a distance, and I can't get close to him at all.
I still went to watch the school competition without Lin Xiaolun, sitting in the audience, feeling so insignificant that no one cared about me.
Our luck has not been very good. The players seem to have practiced too much and their physical strength is no match for the opponent. Except for Guo Lu, the power forward, who is still persisting, although he scores less, he also reduces the frequency of the opponent's scoring.
Our school's cheerleading team in the audience was already very discouraged.
During the break, the last game was about to begin. The score difference was as high as 14 points, and it needed to be made up within 10 minutes.
The Tianjin University team, which had no hope of winning, was still discussing the final strategy. I watched the video I recorded on my phone when Lin Xiaolun participated in a basketball game in high school, and my eyes became wet as I watched it.
Two minutes later, the surroundings suddenly became lively and I saw many audience members standing up.
Someone was saying: "It's Lin Xiaolun, it seems Lin Xiaolun is here!"
I stood up quickly and looked towards the court, and saw that Lin Xiaolun had replaced the original small forward. I began to get excited, and I was worried about Lin Xiaolun all the time.
When I finally confirmed it was him, I cried with joy, but Ding Chuchu gave me a cold look. I ignored her. As long as Lin Xiaolun could come back to compete, it was better than anything else. It meant that he listened to what I said.
Lin Xiaolun's joining boosted their morale and they worked harder .
Everyone on the court cooperated very well. In the last 10 minutes, Lin Xiaolun scored three 3-pointers, and the opponent who was quickly suppressed was obviously confused.
The center who cooperated with Guo Lu also took the opportunity to shoot a 2-pointer. As long as we could get a 3-pointer, our team could turn defeat into victory.
In the last two minutes, the point guard passed the ball to Lin Xiaolun. Lin Xiaolun seemed to be going for an alley-oop. Just when everyone's heart was in their throat, Lin Xiaolun suddenly passed the ball back to the point guard, then hunched over, clutching his clothes tightly with one hand, looking very uncomfortable.
Guo Lu quickly ran over, held his arm and asked, and Lin Xiaolun waved at him.
The point guard quickly passed the ball to Lin Xiaolun, who also made an alley-oop, avoided the opponent's block, and steadily put the basketball into the basket.
When the ball went into the basket, everyone in the stadium cheered, and our team members even lifted Lin Xiaolun into the air and threw him to catch the ball. Ding Chuchu quickly stood up and walked to the lounge, and I followed.
When Lin Xiaolun and his friends returned to the lounge, Ding Chuchu and I also arrived there. Ding Chuchu walked over and wiped Lin Xiaolun's sweat carefully with a towel. Lin Xiaolun took the water from Ding Chuchu's hand and drank it with a smile.
His face was not very good, but he still chatted and laughed with everyone except me. I was like a poor bug left in a corner, tightly holding the mineral water in my hand, not daring to go forward.
"For me?" When I came to my senses after hearing the voice, Guo Lu was already standing in front of me. His arms were very strong, and there were crystal clear .
I found a clean towel and handed it to him: "Wipe the sweat first."
Seeing my attitude, Guo Lu was delighted and took the towel and said, "Okay."
The boy who was playing basketball with me called over here, "Hey, Guo Lu, there's a celebration party tonight, bring your girlfriend."
I glared at him angrily: "Friend!"
The boy smiled and said in a familiar way, "Don't be shy."
Guo Lu did not deny it, but joked with him with a smile: "Stop joking, where is the party?"
"Tang Song Mansion Garden Restaurant."
Guo Lu patted my shoulder and said, "Sit here and wait for me. I'll take a shower and come out soon."
"Go ahead, don't worry about me." I waved my hand and said.
The team members went to take a shower together, and Ding Chuchu and I were the only ones left in the lounge.
Ding Chuchu was the first to break the silence: "Where did you go during the winter vacation?"
"I was traveling, my phone fell into the water, I took out the card, and forgot to put it back when I left." This lie has been tried and tested time and time again.
"Yeah." Ding Chuchu had no more words to say, and the atmosphere fell into awkwardness again.
"What about you? What did you do in Beijing?" I asked.
Ding Chuchu said: "A relative has a heart attack, and Lin Xiaolun and I are going to see him."
"Oh." I said calmly, "It's already time to meet the parents."
"It's okay." The conversation ended here, without any further words.
The boys take showers very quickly, so we didn’t have to wait long before we got in the car that the coach had booked and headed to Tang Song Mansion Garden.
During the meal, they kept talking about the game, and I just kept quiet and ate. Ding Chuchu obviously didn't want to join in, so she ate with me.
"Guo Lu, Xiao Lun, you two both found girlfriends who love to eat." The coach couldn't help but teasing when he saw that Ding Chuchu and I were only focused on eating.
I choked on the food in my mouth before I could swallow it. Guo Lu helped me smooth my back, and I recovered. I said to the coach in dissatisfaction: "I already said I'm not his girlfriend."
"You girl, you were so mean to me last time."
"What's wrong? You are their coach, not my coach." I rolled my eyes and continued eating.
The coach asked curiously, "Little girl, aren't you afraid of gaining weight if you eat like this?"
"I've gained weight, will you marry me?" I asked back dissatisfiedly while chewing the braised pork.
"Sure." The coach agreed very readily, "Do you like uncles? Many young girls like uncles nowadays. If you like me, I will marry you."
I put down my chopsticks, wiped my mouth, and said, "Only good-looking people can be called uncles. You are at most a master."
There was a burst of laughter at the dinner table. The coach was a little embarrassed, but he had to say, "Girl, you are too venomous and competitive. I can't control you. It depends on whether Guo Lu has the ability."
"Neither can he." I answered in a strange tone.
Guo Lu smiled and said, "I am trying. I may run into many obstacles, but it doesn't matter. Sincerity will lead to success."
Guo Lu's words made the coach give him a thumbs up. I could only pinch Guo Lu's thigh secretly. Guo Lu didn't change his expression, but a lot of sweat appeared on his forehead.
After this round of joking, everyone shifted the topic to business, saying that this competition was all thanks to Lin Xiaolun, and they all insisted on toasting him and drinking until they were drunk.
Lin Xiaolun said apologetically: "I'm sorry, I can't drink for the time being."
Ding Chuchu also tried to smooth things over: "You guys want to get Xiaolun drunk and let me carry him back alone, right? Xiaolun can't drink now, I won't let him drink."
A boy started to make a noise: "Mrs. Lin is really amazing and is really nice to Xiao Lun, but aren't we guys creating opportunities for Mrs. Lin? Whether it's a man or a woman, they only have a chance when they're drunk, right?"
"Go to hell." I rolled my eyes at him in annoyance.
The boy who was making trouble was unhappy when he heard this, and pointed at me and said, "It's normal for people to take care of their own boyfriends. Why are you, an outsider, getting involved?"
"You can't spit out ivory from a dog's mouth." I refused to give in.
The boy wanted to say something back, but Ding Chuchu said quickly, "Le Le is Xiao Lun's friend who grew up together. He knows Xiao Lun better than anyone else here. Of course he can come and join in the fun."
"Huh, so what?" The boy was obviously still unconvinced.
"As a boy, you are really petty." I drank a cup of tea and said to the boy. Guo Lu grabbed my arm and patted it gently, which was to comfort me and also to remind me not to care about it.
Who knew that boy stood up and said drunkenly, as if to deliberately challenge me: "Xiao Lun, why did you suddenly decide to participate in the competition this time? If it weren't for your three-point shots in the last few minutes, our school would have lost to others."
Lin Xiaolun and Ding Chuchu smiled at each other and replied, "Chuchu told me not to leave any regrets in my life. I also don't want her to have any regrets, so I decided to come here."
The meat I had picked up fell on my pants. Guo Lu took out a tissue to clean the oil stain for me. The people around me burst into laughter, hitting my eardrums again and again.
"As expected, the wife follows the husband. Have you decided to get married after graduation?" I don't know who asked this question, but now I feel like I have fallen into an abyss. Those voices are clearly right next to my ears, yet they seem so far away.
"Remember to hand out wedding candies."
"Hey, you have to invite everyone here."
I clenched my fists and pressed them against my knees, shaking. Guo Lu held my hands tightly, as if trying to calm me down, but it was no use.
I found it difficult to breathe. Every word they said was like an iron chain, tightly strangling my entire body and making it impossible for me to breathe, move or escape.
"Xiao Lun, Chu Chu cares so much about you, shouldn't you show some appreciation?" They continued to make a fuss.
People love to watch excitement, especially this kind of excitement. They are only responsible for stirring up trouble and bringing people together, but not for the embarrassment, difficulty, sadness and sorrow behind it.
"That's it, give me a kiss, haha, give me a kiss." They have already started clapping.
I took a deep breath, and the waiter was delivering food to me. I raised my hand and said, "Hello, where is the restroom?"
The waiter whispered, "Turn right and go straight. It's right around the corner."
"Okay, thank you." I stood up, smiled apologetically to Guo Lu, and then left the private room.
Entering the restroom, I opened the door and locked it, and fell into the room like a puddle of mud. The restroom cubicle was like a small cage, trapping me inside. I could only see a faint light. When I stretched out my hand to call for help, no one could hear or see me.
I fled hastily from the ridiculous situation, but fell into endless darkness again. How ridiculous.
I fell to the ground , my mind was a mess, and I didn't know what to do.
I stood up, opened the door, stood in front of the sink and looked at myself in the mirror - my hair was messy, my eyes were no longer red and swollen, and only the tear marks were still on my face. I turned on the faucet, washed my face, and then practiced smiling in front of the mirror a few times before walking out .