Chapter 6: Unspeakable Sorrow 02
In the next few days, the news that Ji Chuan was a couple with a girl named Li Jiawei spread in the school. Naturally, I heard about it too. Then I realized that the girl who stole my boyfriend and made me miserable and alone was called Li Jiawei.
I asked Yao Yizhou to help me find out about Li Jiawei, but Yao Yizhou just nodded and agreed, and didn't tell me everything I wanted to know. After I urged Yao Yizhou several times, he frowned and said what he really thought.
"Wen Ya, what do you want to know? Have Ji Chuan and Li Jiawei started dating and are they in love, or do you feel unwilling to give up and want to snatch Ji Chuan back? If you really think it through now and feel that you still can't leave Ji Chuan and want to get back together with him, I will definitely help you."
Yao Yizhou's expression was very determined, which made me understand instantly - asking him to help find out about Li Jiawei was really useless. He was just unwilling and couldn't accept the fact that Ji Chuan and Li Jiawei were together so soon.
As I thought about it, I suddenly felt that I was so useless, so I gave up the idea of asking about Li Jiawei. However, I don't know what's going on. The more you don't want to see someone, the more she appears in front of you, making you avoid her and have nowhere to hide.
When I was working at a milk tea shop, I happened to see Li Jiawei coming to the milk tea shop with her friends to buy milk tea. She seemed to have dyed her hair and re-permed it, and she looked radiant.
Li Jiawei pretended not to know me, ordered milk tea with her friends, and stood aside waiting. I really wanted to add more ingredients to their milk tea, but the boss lady was watching, so I couldn't do anything but bite the bullet and make milk tea for them.
At this time, Li Jiawei's friend suddenly pointed at me, pretended to look at me in surprise, and shouted: "Jiawei, look, isn't this Wen Ya? Why is she here? Is her family short of money? I heard that her family is very poor. Can they hardly afford to eat?"
After listening to Li Jiawei's friend's nonsense, I couldn't help but roll my eyes: "Auntie, how can you see that my family is so poor that we can't afford to eat?"
As soon as I finished speaking, Li Jiawei's eyes widened, she covered her mouth and screamed innocently: "It's really Wen Ya, why are you here? You must have no money to eat, so you come here to work and earn money. It seems that we should come a few more times and talk to our classmates later, and ask them to come here to take care of Wen Ya's business."
These two people provoked my anger so easily. Just when I was about to throw the milk tea in their faces, the proprietress standing next to them suddenly reached out and pressed down my arm, stopping my impulse.
Seeing that I didn't say a word, Li Jiawei became even more aggressive. She looked at me with a smile as beautiful as a flower, and said loudly and righteously: "I'm sorry, Wen Ya, the recent news about Ji Chuan and I being together has caused you a lot of trouble. Ji Chuan and I are truly in love, and I hope you can help us."
When the lady boss heard what Li Jiawei said, she loosened her grip on my arm. I raised my hand and poured the half-made milk tea on her head. I suppressed the bitterness and pain in my heart and sneered, "Since you like Ji Chuan so much and want to be with him so much, then I will grant your wish!"
To my surprise, she calmly took out her cell phone from her purse, posed for a selfie, and then walked away with her friend's arm in hand.
I still don't understand what happened. This Li Jiawei is so different. I was feeling depressed, but the boss lady didn't think so. She didn't feel sorry for losing two orders. Instead, she shook her head helplessly, sighed and said, "You are too naive and simple. Don't you realize that she came here to provoke you? She will definitely say that you poured milk tea on her head and humiliated her in front of many people."
After listening to the boss lady's analysis, I suddenly realized that Li Jiawei was not a simple character. I actually fell into her trap. Maybe all kinds of versions of me humiliating Li Jiawei will spread around the school soon. I am not worried about what Ji Chuan thinks of me, and I am even less worried about what Yao Yizhou and Shen Xiaoyu think of me. Ji Chuan has already broken up with me, and his opinion is not important to me at all. Yao Yizhou and Shen Xiaoyu are my good friends. They know me better than I know myself. I believe that they can tell the truth of the rumors based on what I have done and what I have not done.
In fact, rumors are very scary and can cause great harm. If they really hurt someone you care about, you may even be determined to fight them to the end. However, if the person you care about doesn't care about the rumors at all, and they will choose to support and understand you silently no matter what happens, the rumors will be broken and everything will be completely calm.
Everything happened just as the boss's wife had expected. The next day, the news that I had humiliated Li Jiawei spread everywhere in the school. Even when I went to the classroom, some classmates couldn't help but run over to ask me to confirm the truth of the rumor. I just shook my head and said nothing.
Yao Yizhou walked in from the classroom door with his violin on his back. I waved at him and asked him to come and sit next to me. Yao Yizhou smiled at me with a warm smile, which made my originally cold heart seem to have some warmth.
"Wen Ya, is there any place you want to go? I'll go with you to relax."
As soon as Yao Yizhou sat down beside me, he tilted his head and asked with concern. I knew Yao Yizhou wanted to comfort me. But I couldn't go out with Yao Yizhou alone at this time. Before, I was not a single person anyway. I could use him as a "shield" when I went out with Yao Yizhou. Now I am alone, and I am afraid that I can't go out with Yao Yizhou alone. I remember clearly what Shen Xiaoyu said before that she liked Yao Yizhou very much.
"How about this, you ask Shen Xiaoyu, and the three of us go together. Xiaoyu and I will play in the front, and you will be responsible for getting things for us. How do you think?"
I encouraged Yao Yizhou to contact Shen Xiaoyu, hoping to use this opportunity to bring them together.
Maybe because my own love has failed, I don't want to see my friends get lost in love. What's more, if Yao Yizhou can be with Shen Xiaoyu, I will really be happy for both of them. I hope they can be together for a long time and have a happy ending.
Yao Yizhou nodded and said softly, "Think about where to go first. I will coordinate Shen Xiaoyu's schedule."
After hearing what Yao Yizhou said, I smiled at him.
Yao Yizhou rubbed my hair affectionately and whispered in my ear: "You, don't listen to the nonsense that others say. Think carefully about where to go and what you want to do. Don't think about anything else."
"Why, are you afraid that I won't be able to let it go? Am I so fragile and vulnerable in your eyes? I have been through a lot, you see, I have quarreled with my dad so many times, which time did I lose my temper? Besides, Ji Chuan is not everything in my life, I am not to the point where I can't live without him. Now I finally understand, who can really live without anyone these days? No matter who leaves, life will be the same, the sun will still rise as usual, the earth will still revolve and rotate as usual, it will not stop moving forward for me."
Although I said this, I felt a little uncomfortable in my heart, an indescribable pain.
Yao Yizhou nodded, seeming to be satisfied with my attitude. He stretched out his fingers, tapped the table lightly, and said seriously: "Wen Ya, have you read the notes I gave you? The teacher will ask questions in class today."
After hearing what Yao Yizhou said, I remembered that the teacher seemed to have mentioned such a thing in class yesterday, so I anxiously began to look at the notes Yao Yizhou had given me.
However, after reading for a long time, I still couldn't figure out what the teacher was talking about. It seems that I have missed too many classes during this period of time, and I guess I will have a hard time passing the exams this school year.
Yao Yizhou probably guessed something from my expression, patted my shoulder and comforted me: "It's okay, if you don't understand anything, just ask me. I will help you mark the test points for this school year's exam in advance, you will definitely pass the exam, there will be no problem."
Good students are indeed good students... Although I don’t understand why Yao Yizhou, who was supposed to apply to the music college, gave up the opportunity to be admitted to the China Conservatory of Music and came to the same university as me to study journalism and media.
When he was filling out his application form in his senior year of high school, I was really shocked when I saw his form. I really didn't expect him to make such a decision - although Yao Yizhou had said many times that the cultural industry would become the pillar of China's economic development, he did not go to the China Conservatory of Music mainly because he was afraid that he would not be able to find a job after graduation.
In fact, from a prestigious institution like the China Conservatory of Music, almost any graduate can be called a musician.
What's more, Yao Yizhou's parents are both well-known musicians in Paris, France. They would like Yao Yizhou to go to the United States or France for further studies. In the future, the three of them can hold a performance at the Sydney Opera House. It is particularly exciting to think about it.
I remember that after Yao Yizhou filled out his application form, his parents flew back from abroad and insisted that he apply to a foreign music college.
Unexpectedly, Yao Yizhou was determined as if he had eaten a weight. He gritted his teeth and insisted on studying in the same school as me.
To be honest, I have never understood why Yao Yizhou did this.
After finally finishing another day's classes, Yao Yizhou was going to practice the violin, so I called Shen Xiaoyu on the way and asked her to meet me in the practice room that Yao Yizhou often went to.
Shen Xiaoyu was naturally very happy to be able to listen to Yao Yizhou practicing the violin.
Originally, I thought I would have to wait for her in the practice room for a while, but when Yao Yizhou and I arrived at the practice room, Shen Xiaoyu had already set up the chairs and was waiting for us.
Yao Yizhou smiled at Shen Xiaoyu. Even though they had greeted each other, just with this simple smile, I noticed that Shen Xiaoyu's face turned a little red.
I walked over and touched Shen Xiaoyu's cheek. It was indeed a little hot. Then I touched my own cheek. It was ice cold. So I thought to myself, maybe this is the temperature of love. It is hot when you are secretly in love, high fever when you are in love, and low fever when you break up...
Some people have a high fever when they are in love, which damages their brains. They cannot see the shortcomings of their partner at all. They think that whatever their partner does is right and whatever they say is right. They blindly obey all the opinions or ideas of their partner.
Some people may say that there is no logic in love. Love is inherently blind and will make people lose their minds and do things that others could never imagine. However, girls often lose themselves in this way.
Take me for example. In the past few years since I fell in love with Ji Chuan, I have rarely thought about what I really like and what I hate. Every year, every month, every day, every hour, every minute, every second, what I think about most is what Ji Chuan likes, what Ji Chuan wants, and what I can do to make Ji Chuan happy. I even thought that I would be willing to give up expensive bags and high heels for Ji Chuan, give up the pursuit of superficial beauty, be willing to wear sneakers and run with him in the sun, be willing to wear flat shoes and an apron to take care of him day and night, wash his clothes and cook for him, and take care of his diet and daily life.
In the past few years, I have always thought that this kind of life is what I pursue and what I want. However, only now do I realize how wrong I was - when I regarded Ji Chuan as everything in the world and my future, this love was doomed to fail.
"Xiao Yu, do you love yourself?" I leaned my head on Shen Xiaoyu's shoulder and asked her softly.
Shen Xiaoyu was completely immersed in Yao Yizhou's music. When she heard me suddenly ask such a question, she looked at me in confusion. After a while, she slowly said, "What kind of question are you asking? Of course I love myself! What's more, if you don't even love yourself, will any boy be willing to look at you? Will anyone still love you?"
Yes, if you don’t even love yourself, who else will love you? Why did it take me so many years to understand such a simple truth?
I never thought about what kind of life I wanted, what I really liked to do, why I went to this school, or whether the major I was studying was what I wanted to fight for my whole life. It turned out that the person I really felt sorry for all these years was myself.
Yao Yizhou's melodious piano playing gradually calmed my heart, and I began to think about what I had missed in these years.
I don’t know what other people would do when they encounter this problem. I only know that regret is a terrible thing. When you start to regret what you have done, you will feel that you have almost never done anything right.
This is really scary. I shook my head, not daring to think about it any further. I had to think about what I wanted to do instead.
