I finally understand why I am so obsessed with you.
It turns out that what I want is not to be good friends with you.
I just want to stay with you.

The vehicle was still moving, and I felt my head resting on someone's shoulder. I dazedly opened my eyes and took a look. When I saw Shu Haining's face so close to me, I had the illusion that I was still dreaming.
I leaned on his shoulder, his head resting on mine, he closed his eyes as if he was asleep, his curled eyelashes cast fan-shaped shadows under his eyes.
I didn't move, I just rolled my eyes and looked around. The subway was getting empty, and it must be heading to a more remote place. I wanted to sit up straight, but I was afraid that the slightest movement would wake him up.
How did it turn out like this?
I don't understand. Did I lean my head over unconsciously?
Why didn't he wake me up? Why didn't he wake me up and fall asleep with me?
I tugged at his arm, and his eyelashes fluttered like . He opened his eyes, and I quickly moved my head away from his shoulder.
I said, "Did you miss your stop? This place is so remote, it can't be near the train station, right?"
Shu Haining suddenly laughed: "What should I do if I miss my stop?"
"Hurry up and get off the bus. What if you can't catch the long-distance bus you want to take?"
Isn't this person in a hurry at all?
Shu Haining was still laughing: "But you were sleeping so soundly that I couldn't wake you up no matter how hard I tried!"
"Uh..." I was suddenly embarrassed.
"So what do you say we should do?" He came close to me and looked at me motionlessly. "It's your fault. If I can't catch the bus, then it's your fault."
"Hello!" My heart was beating wildly, and his sudden approach made me a little overwhelmed.
I reached out and pushed his face away, my palm touched his soft lips, I withdrew my hand as if I had been electrocuted, my heart beat faster, and even my palms began to sweat.
"No, don't come so close." I said aloud.
Don't play tricks on me. Don't be so frivolous to strangers!
Because this will make me excited.
"Dear passengers, the train is about to arrive at its final stop, S University Institute of Technology. Please take your luggage and get off the train. Thank you for taking this train." At this time, a pleasant female voice was heard in the subway.
"We've already reached the final stop!" I looked at Shu Haining, "You should go buy a return ticket. I'll give you the price because you said you missed your stop because of me."
Although I don't want to admit his statement at all, I always feel it is too cunning.
I dragged my suitcase out of the subway, and Shu Haining followed me slowly. I wanted to turn around and yell at him several times, "Don't follow me," but this road seemed to be the only exit. I had no choice but to take bigger steps and wait until we got out of the station. Then I wouldn't have to continue walking with him.
However, I was too naive. When I dragged my suitcase to the university gate, Shu Haining was still following me like a ghost.
"What are you doing here?" Okay, I surrender, I admit defeat, "I say, are you really okay? Why don't you go to your school quickly? Why are you following me?"
"Hmm?" He glanced at me with a half-smile, "I'm going to my school!"
After he finished speaking, he dragged his suitcase and walked in front of me. For a moment, I wondered if I had heard him wrong or if I had gone to the wrong place.
What did he say?
I followed him like a sleepwalker, dragging my suitcase. It was freshman registration time, and the campus was colorful. It was full of freshmen registering. Many girls were staring at Shu Haining with amazement in their eyes.
It would be strange if you didn't look at him. Not to mention his exquisite facial features, just his pair of blue eyes are enough to attract a lot of attention.
"I say, what's going on?" I quickly took a few steps to catch up with him, "This is my school, how can your school be here?"
"Why not?" He looked at me with interest. "Who said you are the only one who can come here?"
"No..." I was confused and didn't know what to say for a moment, because I had never thought that Shu Haining would come to S University. "Didn't you go to the same school as Hua Yuemian?"
He paused, looking confused: "Did I say that?"
"What?" What's wrong with this person? "I remember when you filled out your application, didn't you and Hua Yuemian agree on the school you wanted to go to?"
"Oh, her score wasn't good enough to get into S University, so she went somewhere else." Shu Haining said calmly, "Any other questions?"
"The score is not high enough?" But I remember Hua Yuemian's grades were not bad. I remember that on the ranking list I saw that time, Hua Yuemian was only a dozen places lower than Shu Haining.
And the so-called "not having enough scores" does not mean not having enough scores for the first choice? But that shouldn't be the case. Hua Yuemian knew that day that Tang Ruize was in S University, and I would definitely go there too. If their first choice was S University, why didn't Hua Yuemian say anything?
What on earth was going on? I couldn't figure it out, but Shu Haining had no intention of explaining it to me.
That’s right, there is no need to explain anything between strangers.
Forget it, we go to the same school, it doesn't matter, the school is so big anyway, it's not easy to meet by chance. Thinking of this, I no longer dwell on the fact that he and I go to the same school.
However, five minutes later, at the registration office of the Finance Department, I was completely shocked.
Because Shu Haining handed the registration card to the teacher responsible for issuing student ID cards and dormitory keys to new students almost at the same time as me.
Well?
I looked at Shu Haining in surprise.
No way, hasn’t the scares this person has given me ended yet?
"You..." I looked at him, wanting to say a lot, but not knowing where to start.
"What's wrong with me?" I don't know if he was pretending to be confused, but he looked like he knew this would happen.
Did you know this a long time ago? I was stunned.
I remember that time, when he brought the principal to my house, I told the principal that I would go to S University. On the morning of the day when I filled in the application form, while waiting for the bus, Tang Ruize told Shu Haining not to mistake him for a finance major.
"You can't be..." You couldn't have filled in this because you knew I was here, right?
I wanted to ask this question, but I couldn't ask it. It must be a coincidence, it must be just a coincidence, how could this happen?
"Forget it, it's nothing." I took an envelope from the counselor, which contained my student ID and keys, as well as a receipt for military training supplies.
Don’t think too much and don’t have any expectations of this person anymore, because every time he surprises me, it’s followed by something that makes me sad.
"I've thought about it, very seriously, what distance I should keep from you." Shu Haining walked over to me and said in a low voice.
"Haven't you decided to be strangers?" I asked.
"Well, but I changed my mind." He smiled at me, "Whether it's a stranger or a friend, I don't like this kind of relationship."
"Hey, why do you say one thing and do another? You're always like this." I said angrily.
He was still smiling and spread his hand towards me: "Let's just be classmates. This is the answer I came up with after careful consideration."
Not a stranger, nor a friend, but a classmate.
In the end, I didn't hold his hand. I just ran away dragging my suitcase in a cowardly manner.
How confused did that person want me to be? I had clearly prepared myself to be strangers to him forever, so how could he shamelessly say that we could become classmates when I had finally buried my feelings for him?
Who wants to be classmates with him?
Just be a stranger!
When I approached him, he pushed me away; when I turned around and wanted to leave, he ignored my thoughts and decided to walk towards me.
How far is he going to tease me?
I dragged the box to the dormitory, put the box in the dormitory, and went to the dormitory manager with the military training supplies collection form. I received a large bag that contained sheets and bedding, as well as clothes and shoes for military training.
The bag was very big, so I just grabbed the rope and dragged it into the dormitory.
Fortunately, the dormitory is on the first floor and not far from the dormitory door.
It was the first time for me to live in a school dormitory. There were four beds in the room. There was a desk below and a bed above. The wardrobe and desk were connected together.
I tried to climb up to the upper bunk, and after making the bed, I found that I was afraid to go down.
"Um... how do I go down?" I tried for a long time but still didn't dare to take the escalator. I asked the girl in the dormitory who had arrived before me.
The girl had dark skin, but she was pretty and looked very energetic. She had a high ponytail and looked at me in surprise: "You can't get down?"
"Ka-ka." I felt like I had asked a very stupid question, but there was nothing I could do about it because I really couldn't get it down. "I've never lived on campus, and I've never slept in a bed like this."
"Oh, so that's how it is." She laughed, showing a row of white teeth. She walked to the bottom of the bed and looked up at me. "Turn around, yes, just like that, then hold on to the bed rails and step down with your feet."
I felt my heart was about to jump out of my throat. I followed her instructions and put one foot on the escalator. However, when my other foot was about to step down, the upper foot suddenly slipped. I screamed and slid down the ladder.
"Be careful!" the girl yelled and ran over quickly to grab me, but she was still a step too late. I fell heavily to the ground. The ground was made of white tiles, and the pain made me grimaced.
"Um, are you okay?" She pulled me up from the ground worriedly, "Your arms are all scraped."
"It's okay." The bone hit the ground and it hurt so much that I almost cried . "It will be fine in a while."
"Do you want to go to the infirmary? Ask the school doctor to see if you have any injuries." She was still a little worried.
"It's okay." I moved my hands and feet, making sure that I didn't break any bones, just some pain in the flesh, "Thank you!"
"How about this, next time you want to get down, call me and I'll just carry you down from up there. You look pretty small anyway." The girl laughed brightly, "It shouldn't be hard to carry you down."
Do I look small?
I suddenly felt a little embarrassed. I knew I was very short, but using "very small" to describe myself... uh, am I really very small?
"Let's go have lunch. By the way, I haven't introduced myself yet. My name is Yue Lin." She said straightforwardly, "We will be roommates from now on. Please give me your guidance."
"I'm Skylark." I like this girl because she is as frank and direct as I am.
"Skylark... Eh? This name sounds familiar." Yue Lin thought for a moment and suddenly moved closer to me. "This name is very special. It shouldn't be easy to have someone with the same name."
"Probably." At least I haven't seen a second person with this name.
"Then you are the top scorer in the college entrance examination!" Yue Lin was immediately excited. She held my hand and shook it. "Oh, I'm so happy. I have always wondered what kind of person would get such an abnormal score. I originally thought it would be a top student wearing glasses as thick as the bottom of a wine bottle and pigtails, but I didn't expect it to be such a cute girl."
Yue Lin talked to me for a long time. This was the first time I had such a happy chat with a girl of the same age.
I always feel so happy.
"Let's go, let's eat. I'm treating you today. I'm so happy." Yue Lin's eyes seemed to be shining when she said this. She is indeed a cheerful girl. I like girls like this. They are clean-hearted and don't have so many tricks.
Of course, there is a big reason why I like this kind of straightforward girl. It is the psychological shadow left on me by Hua Yuemian. I am not good at dealing with that kind of girls.
After eating in the cafeteria, I returned to the dormitory and heard my cell phone ringing frantically. I quickly picked up the phone and it was Tang Ruize calling.
"How is it? Is college fun?" Tang Ruize's voice was filled with a faint smile. It sounded comfortable and made people relax.
"Not bad, I met a great girl. It's just that I'm not used to the bed here, and I fell when I got down just now. Yue Lin said that next time I want to get down, I should just call her and she will carry me down." I said happily to Tang Ruize on the other end of the phone.
Tang Ruize listened to me quietly until I finished talking, then he smiled and said, "It seems that Xiao Yunlark is really happy. As expected, Xiao Yunlark, you still hope to make friends, right?"
I was stunned for a moment. Why did this sentence sound so familiar?
"It's great to meet someone who makes Xiao Yunque so happy." Tang Ruize said, "Okay, I won't bother you anymore. I will go to school in a few days and come to see you then."
"Okay, I will definitely let you meet Yue Lin then." I said and hung up the phone.
Yue Lin had just gone out, and when she came back, I had just finished my phone call.
"Here you go." She threw me a bottle of water. "I don't know when the other two girls in the dormitory will arrive. I'm really curious about what kind of people they are."
"I hope it's a girl as fun as you." I looked forward to it sincerely.
I was a bit bored in the dormitory, so I discussed with Yue Lin to go for a walk around the campus. S University is also a century-old famous university ranked in the country, and the scale of the school can be seen. Yue Lin and I walked around for an afternoon, but we still couldn't walk around the entire campus.
In the evening, Yue Lin and I returned to the dormitory, and the other two girls also arrived.
One of the two girls was a little fat and wore glasses. She looked like a good girl who loved studying. The other was a tall and thin girl with short hair. She didn't seem to be talkative and gave people a cold feeling.
But I don’t care too much about what they are like, because after the military training is over, I will move out of this dormitory, and I already have Yue Lin, who I am very happy chatting with. I really don’t care what the others are like.
When I was eight years old, I understood a truth: the number of friends you have is not important. Even if you only have one friend, as long as you are happy together, that is enough.
Unfortunately, I understood this truth a little late, which is why I was hurt by Hua Yuemian and others.
I already have Shu Haining, but I still long for more people to be around me. I am too greedy.
After breakfast the next day, the department counselor came to the dormitory. It was the teacher I met when the freshmen reported that day. He was in his thirties and seemed easy to get along with.
She informed us to gather in the Finance Department's large classroom at 2 p.m. as the department was going to hold a meeting.
"It's probably about the military training." Yue Lin came to talk to me, "The military training today must be very intense. I guess after the training, we don't need to wear makeup anymore and can pretend to be Africans."
"Do we have to undergo military training when high school starts?" I heard this, but I don't know if it's true, after all, I only came back on the eve of the college entrance examination.
"Huh? Don't you know? Of course there is military training in high school, but compared with the military training in college , high school is like a piece of cake." Yue Lin said with a smile.
The slightly fat girl was named Xu Jiaqi. She looked like a top student who only liked to study. However, after a brief contact, I found that she was not only interested in studying, but would occasionally join us when Yue Lin and I were talking.
The tall and thin girl with short hair is called Lu Xiaona. She is very consistent with my first impression of her. She doesn’t like to talk much, but she is not cold. She is just shy.
For the first time in my life, I realized that girls are not just the annoying type like Hua Yuemian. Every girl is different. Everyone has a lovely personality, but also a side that makes people feel unapproachable.
At half past one, Yue Lin called me, Xu Jiaqi and Lu Xiaona to leave the dormitory together.
I was a little uncomfortable with this because my mother told me that she could find me at any time, so I put my phone in my pocket. I always felt like there was something in my pocket and I felt uncomfortable all over.
The dormitory building is a bit far from the teaching building, and it takes about fifteen minutes to walk there. This distance is more like the distance from my home to the subway station.
Yue Lin is very good. We walked around the school yesterday afternoon and she memorized the way completely. She led the three of us and found the classroom that the counselor mentioned accurately.
I pushed the door open and walked in. It was a really large classroom that could accommodate more than 300 people at a time. There were already many people sitting inside. Looking from the front of the classroom, the stepped classroom was filled with people.
The classroom is noisy and everyone is busy making new friends.
I followed Yue Lin and walked up the stairs. We thought we were early, but that was not the case. There were no empty seats in the classroom, especially the seats that were connected together, which were almost all gone.
"Let's each find a seat." Yue Lin said, and walked towards a seat in the last row.
I was looking around, looking for a place to sit, when someone suddenly grabbed my arm. I was startled, and before I could react, I was dragged to sit in an empty seat.
I turned around in shock and looked: "Shu Haining?"
He supported his chin with one hand and tilted his head to look at me. At that moment, I felt that many people's eyes were focused on me and him. I broke free from his hand and wanted to stand up and find a seat again.
"What's wrong with your arm?" he asked, looking at my arm.
"What?" I was unable to react for a moment and looked down at my arm. There was a bruise today from where I fell yesterday.
"I fell when I got out of bed," I said disapprovingly. But after he interrupted me, I didn't think about standing up and looking for another seat.
"Ah?" He was stunned for a moment, "You are not?"
“Is it weird that you can’t climb ladders like that?” I said angrily. “I’m just not good at climbing ladders. It’s none of your business.”
"You really just say whatever you want." The way he couldn't help laughing was really infuriating, and I really wanted to beat him up.
"So how did you get out of bed this morning?" he asked, trying not to laugh.
"The girls in the dormitory carried me down." Okay, I admit that this is indeed a very embarrassing thing.
He finally couldn't help laughing out loud: "You...you really are..."
"Laugh until you die of laughter!" I lay on the table, turned my face to the other direction, and faced him with the back of my head.
"Does your arm still hurt?" I heard him ask after a while.
"None of your business!" I was still angry!
The department counselor came in and said "quiet" several times, and the classroom gradually quieted down. After the counselor maintained order, the department head came in with a cup of tea, and then gave a speech that made people sleepy.
He said so much, but there was only one key point, which was that military training would start tomorrow.
After the department head finished speaking, the counselor asked the students from each class to go to their respective classes, and each class teacher would go over and hold a brief class meeting.
"Let's go, Skylark." Shu Haining said.
"I don't want to go with you. I want to wait for Yue Lin. Yue Lin is the girl who carried me out of bed. She is so nice." I took a step back and stood there waiting for Yue Lin.
"Who cares about you!" Shu Haining didn't give me any chance to wait. He just grabbed my wrist and dragged me forward.
"Hey!" I was a little annoyed, "Why are you like this?"
"Yeah, that's who I am," he said with a smile. "Remember, this is who I am now."
My heart trembled slightly. Is this what you look like now?
What do you want to say, Shu Haining?
Does this mean that the you in the depths of my memory has really disappeared completely?
"What's wrong?" He slowed down a little and looked at me who suddenly didn't say a word.
I shook my head and said, "Nothing, let's go."
I wanted to pull my hand back, but Shu Haining didn't let go. I looked at his hand, which was clean and slender, with distinct joints.
He dragged me all the way into the classroom, pushed me to the seat by the window, and then sat down on my right.
"Do we look like deskmates?" he asked me with a smile, "A deskmate relationship that's a little better than a classmate relationship?"
"What's the point of doing this?" I replied coldly, lying on the table.
I don't understand what Shu Haining wanted to do. When I decided to be a stranger, he came out and became my classmate, and now he is deceiving himself and becoming my desk mate.
It’s so annoying. Why do you want to disturb my already calm heart?
"Yeah, maybe it doesn't make any sense." I don't know if it was my illusion, but I always felt that there was a hint of loneliness in his voice, "But I regret it, Skylark."
My heart skipped a beat and I stared at him with wide eyes. His left arm was resting on the table, blocking the left half of his face. From my angle, only his naturally curly bangs were slipping out from between his fingers.
"I don't want to be strangers. I don't want to have that kind of relationship with you." He gently put down his left hand and turned his head to look at me. There was helplessness and sadness in his blue eyes. "So no matter what you think, whether you think I'm cunning or excessive, it doesn't matter. Or, Skylark, do you really want us to become strangers who don't talk even if we pass by each other?"
He looked me in the eyes and asked softly.
"It was you who said we wanted to be strangers." I looked away and didn't look into his eyes.
Why are you looking at me like that?
That way it's like you care about me and I'm important to you.
Please, don't let me have any more expectations of you, when there is a long time of ten years between us. How did you spend every day in those ten years that I didn't know about?
Are you happy? Have you ever thought about me?
I really want to know all of these and I care about them all.
But I have no way of knowing that because that was a full ten years.
Because there is Hua Yuemian between us.
What should I do to calm the restlessness in my heart?
My heart felt like it was going to explode.
"Can you be my deskmate?" His voice was very low. Every time he spoke to me in this voice, I always felt that my heart would tremble along with his voice.
Can I be his deskmate?
Not friends, not strangers, not ordinary classmates, but a relationship like deskmates.
"Okay." I nodded, feeling that it didn't matter what happened.
I gave up thinking and gave up thinking about the things that gave me a headache.
After the head teacher arrived, he held a brief class meeting and then dismissed the class.
Yue Lin came over and asked me to go back to the dormitory together. I was about to say "OK" when Shu Haining said, "I'll take Yun Que away first, and I'll take her back later."
Yue Lin was stunned for a moment, then smiled and said, "No problem!"
"Hey!" I wanted to chase after him, but Shu Haining blocked my way and wouldn't let me go out. I wanted to climb onto the desk and jump off it. "Who wants to follow you, you self-righteous guy?"
Shu Haining didn't say anything, but just grabbed my arm and half dragged me forward.
I grabbed the door frame with one hand and refused to let go: "Let go, I don't want to go with you, I want to go back!"
Shu Haining remained unmoved and watched me struggle very patiently. However, no matter how hard I struggled, I could not break free from his hands.
He looked like he could wait for me till the end of time .
I suddenly lost my temper and let go.
I lost, and it wasn’t the first time I lost to him.
"Okay, where are you taking me?"
"You'll know when you get there," he said, pulling me forward.
"My wrist hurts." At least he should let go.
"Sorry." His grip loosened slightly. When I tried to pull my hand back, he grabbed my hand. "What if you try to run away?"
"I won't run away." I muttered, "You, don't you know that you can't just hold a girl's hand?"
"Is that so?" He turned around and looked at me. "If it's not casual, you can hold hands, right?"
Does this person know what he is talking about?
There were many things I wanted to say, but I didn't dare to continue talking to him, for fear of hearing more confusing and disorienting words from him.
Many people looked at us with surprise. In those people's eyes, what was the relationship between Shu Haining and me like?
I don’t dare to think about the answer to that question.
Shu Haining dragged me to the deserted playground. I was confused as to why he brought me here.
"Let's practice." He stopped in front of a rack made of welded steel pipes.
The shelf is more than two meters high and there is a ladder to climb up. I don’t know what this shelf is used for.
"What are you practicing?" I was completely confused by him, and even suspected that I had missed something, but no, he just held my hand and walked all the way here without saying a word.
"Ladder." He smiled slightly and said, "Tomorrow we will have military training. Everyone is very tired . Do you have the nerve to ask others to carry you out of bed every day?"
"Crack." I coughed awkwardly. Can you please not mention this kind of thing? It's really too embarrassing.
After he said that, he let go of my hand. I don’t know if it was because he had been holding my hand all the way, but when he suddenly let go, I felt so empty inside.
So... I don't want him to hold my hand!
Shu Haining climbed up the ladder, sat on the shelf, looked at me, and said, "Climb up."
I stood under the shelf, with two voices arguing in my heart. One voice told me to turn around and go back immediately, and the other voice told me to climb up.
The two voices are evenly matched and it is impossible to tell which one is higher.
"Skylark." He called me again. I looked up at him. There was a gentle smile in his eyes. His blue eyes were like the deep ocean. "Don't you dare to come up? It turns out that after ten years, you have become a coward."
"You are the coward!" I am a single-celled organism with low emotional intelligence who does not know how to read the atmosphere, but I have a fatal flaw, which is that once others provoke me, I will easily get carried away and do things that I would not otherwise do.
I walked to the bottom of the shelf and grabbed the bars on both sides of the ladder with both hands. I could still climb up, but I just didn't know how to get down. Shu Haining really underestimated me!
I climbed up in one breath. Shu Haining was sitting on the shelf. He patted the place next to him and said, "Come here."
I really want to push this guy off!
I was holding a grudge in my heart and felt angry for no apparent reason.
I climbed up, but didn't sit down next to him, and asked, "Aren't we going to practice? Are we going down next?"
Shu Haining smiled and said, "Are you finally motivated?"
"Well, so you should go down quickly," I said.
Shu Haining nodded, turned around, and walked down the ladder very skillfully: "How is it, did you see it clearly just now?"
"I think I know what's going on." I turned to face the ladder and tried to walk down one step. The first step was fine, but the second step was the key. I fell from the second step yesterday. I don't know if it was because I fell once before, so my body instinctively felt scared.
I held on to the ladder tightly and dared not move. I was sweating all over my forehead. The only feeling in my heart was regret. Why didn't I walk away, but listened to Shu Haining and climbed up this shelf?
Now it's hanging on the shelf and I dare not move it.
"Skylark." Shu Haining called me from below, "Don't be afraid, I'm down there, it's okay. Even if you fall, I will definitely catch you."
"But I'm scared!" I heard my voice trembling, "I can't move."
Shu Haining seemed to have finally noticed that something was wrong with me. He walked to the ladder, grabbed it with both hands, and slowly climbed up a few steps.
He held my hand with one hand and clasped my waist with the other: "Don't be afraid, I'm here."
"Haining." I was about to cry. I was good at solving complicated problems, but I had no idea about this kind of ladder. I felt so useless.
"Yeah, I'm here." He was right next to me, and I could hear his heartbeat and breathing.
The heart that was suspended in the air slowly returned to its place, and the stiff body began to listen to the command of the brain. The temperature of his palm was very warm, with a miraculous power to soothe people's hearts.
With his help, I walked down the ladder for the first time. When my feet stepped on the flat ground, my legs went weak and I fell to my knees with a plop.
"It's okay, don't be afraid. See, you did it, didn't you? There must be nothing in this world that you can't do." He knelt on one knee in front of me and reached out to touch my hair gently.
I stared at his face in a daze.
Why did it turn out like this?
What's going on with this throbbing in my heart that I can't calm down?
That's too bad, Shu Haining.
There's nothing I can do. I still like you!
Don't look at me so gently, don't look at me like that, can't you hear me?
My heart is like a balloon that has been blown up and is about to explode.
The setting sun shone from behind, leaving my shadow on his face. His brows were particularly clear under the setting sun, and his eyes reflected the light of the setting sun, making it seem as if they were glowing.
It was that night, the night he watched the fireworks with me. When the small colored lights fell into his eyes, they formed a psychedelic world of light and shadow.
It seemed as if nothing was real, as if he was just a phantom of my imagination.
While I was staring at him in a daze, he was also staring at me in a daze.
As if bewitched, he held my face with both hands, and pressed his thumbs against my lips. I watched his face get closer and closer to me, so close that I could see a lot of emotions hidden in his eyes.
What does he want to do?
I forgot to breathe and stared at his face so close to me with wide eyes. I knew I should push him away, but I couldn't do it.
Because in the next moment, his lips fell.
He didn't kiss my lips, he only kissed his fingertips. Just like that night, he pulled off my fox mask and put his forehead against mine, there was always something between us.
As for the thing that separated us, he and I both knew clearly, apart from the long ten years, there was Hua Yuemian.
Thinking of Hua Yuemian, I quickly came to my senses and pushed him away. I fell to the ground, and he also sat on the ground because I pushed him. I put my hand to cover my lips, and he covered his eyes with the back of his hand.
Your face must be very red.
That’s right, the action just now was so intimate, he even kissed me through his fingertips!
Shu Haining, what exactly do you think in your heart?
Why do you want to kiss me? Is it because the sunset is so beautiful that you can't help yourself?
"Hey." I finally couldn't stand this torturous silence any more. "Say something!"
"Yeah..." He lowered his hands from his eyes, "It was just a prank, just like when I hugged you in the corridor after the college entrance exam, so don't take it to heart."
"To you, is this something you can just use to play a prank?" I felt so angry, and a feeling of grievance rose from the bottom of my heart, "You can't do this kind of thing if you don't like the person!"
"Are you angry?" Shu Haining looked at me and asked.
I shouted, "I'm not! I'm not angry!"
"You're angry," he said softly.
"Why do you always have to refute me? Who would get angry about something like this? I know it's just a prank. When we meet in a foreign country, we kiss each other. This kind of thing... I won't get angry about something like this!" I clearly said this, but I was indeed angry.
This kiss overlapped with the kiss he and Hua Yuemian had shared under the fireworks that day. My heart felt like it was being pressed down by a huge rock. Why did he do this? Why did he keep disturbing my heart?
Doesn't he know? I'm having a hard time trying not to like him anymore.
I tried to resist the urge to get close to him, but he easily broke down my defenses.
"Why are you crying?" He came closer to me and brushed his thumb under my eyes. "If you are not angry, why are you crying?"
I slapped his hand away and covered my face with my hands. Really, I never wanted to cry in front of him. I am such a crybaby. It's all Shu Haining's fault!
"Isn't this just a prank?" He grabbed my hand and slowly pulled it away from my face. He slowly moved closer to me and his lips fell on my eyes. "Is this okay?"
"How long are you going to tease me?" I asked him softly, "We are just desk mates. No one would do such a thing to a desk mate."
"So, Skylark, do you like me?" He asked me this question directly when I was off guard.
"Who would like you?" I stood up from the ground and took several steps back.
"Well, that's good. Sometimes, I have the illusion that you like me." He lowered his head, said this, and slowly stood up.
The moment I heard him say that, my heart felt like it was stabbed hard and it hurt so much that I wanted to bend over.
"How could I possibly like you?"
I can’t like him because he already has Hua Yuemian, and I can’t do that kind of thing.
"Besides, you already have a girlfriend. If you have a girlfriend, don't do this kind of thing to other girls casually. Your girlfriend will care and feel uneasy!" I said it all in one breath, "Don't be too nice to other girls casually, it will cause trouble!"
Falling in love with you makes everything so troublesome.
He was stunned for a moment: "Girlfriend?"
"Hua Yuemian, why are you playing dumb?" I was very angry and wanted to find a place to vent my anger. "Because of her, you don't even want to be friends with me, right?"
His brows furrowed slightly and he asked, "Why do you think she is my girlfriend?"
"Because I saw it!" At the fireworks display, when the biggest firework exploded, the light of the fireworks illuminated the sky and the earth, and the scene of him kissing her was so dazzling.
His face suddenly turned pale: "You..."
"Yes, I saw it, I saw it all!" I almost roared, "You kissed her! If I still don't know anything , then I'm not low in EQ, but mentally retarded!"
"I don't want to explain anything." He whispered, "But there is one thing I want to make clear. I am not dating Hua Yuemian. We are not in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship."
"What?" I stared at him blankly, my mind becoming more and more confused. " Not that kind of relationship? But you did refuse to be friends with me because of her, right?"
He didn't say anything, which meant he agreed.
"If it's not that kind of relationship, why would you allow her to stay with you and do those intimate things with you that only lovers would do?" I continued to ask, and he still didn't speak.
"It's not that kind of relationship. Why did you accompany her to watch the fireworks and kiss her?" I yelled, "What a joke! Shu Haining, I've had enough. I don't want to know what's going on between you two anymore."
I walked forward, and when I passed him, he stopped me with his hand and said, "I can't deny what you said, but I really didn't date her. I just can't leave her alone. If even I don't care about her, then she won't be able to live a good life."
"Are you here to show off your affection? You continue to take care of your Hua Yuemian, and I will continue to be a passerby." I looked into his eyes and said, "It doesn't matter what happens now. It's better for us to continue to be strangers. It's not appropriate to be deskmates or classmates."
"Be good to Hua Yuemian! Although I hate people like her, if you like her, please love her wholeheartedly and don't be half-hearted." I said, "You may not really be dating, but one day you will become that kind of relationship! Don't involve irrelevant people anymore, okay?"
"You told me that you can't let go of Hua Yuemian. Hua Yuemian told me that you two were dating, and she asked me to stay away from you. She said that she likes you very much and can't lose you no matter what. So, that's the case no matter how you look at it!"
I shook off his hand and walked forward faster.
The setting sun shines from behind, and a long shadow falls in front of me.
It’s really strange, after saying all these words, I actually felt a lot more relieved.
It turns out that I am not suitable for keeping things in my heart. No matter what, Shu Haining, it is better for us to be strangers.