In order to find out what Zhuang Li's purpose was, I kept an eye on his every move, but unfortunately, there was nothing unusual about his behavior. The university he returned to was not far from the school I attended, so we went to class together. When I didn't have classes, I stayed in the room in a daze and didn't go anywhere.
In his junior year, Zhuang Li actually had more classes than I did. He had already taken graduate courses in advance. In his sophomore year, he had already completed four years of college courses. Zhuang Li's high IQ is hard not to admire. Perhaps, the more outstanding people are, the less they know what fatigue and satisfaction are, and they never stop on the road to success.
In addition to taking credits, he would also go to the banker's company to learn business management. Every time he came back, he would look tired.
Those piles of information gave me a headache, but Zhuang Li had to read them page by page at night and submit feedback the next day, repeating this process over and over again.
I asked him why he worked so hard, and he replied calmly: "I just want to be recognized."
I know he wants to be recognized by Zhuang Yanzhi. Although Zhuang Yanzhi has never come to see me, I have bumped into him when I was buying vegetables nearby. He also saw me, and his face was still very serious. The years have not left too many traces on his face. Zhuang Li's aura is completely inherited from Zhuang Yanzhi, which makes people a little afraid.
I was also a little embarrassed, and was hesitating whether to go over and say hello, but I was also afraid that he didn't recognize me. When I was struggling, I didn't expect him to slowly walk towards me.
I became even more uneasy.
"Ding Lanyin." Zhuang Yanzhi called me by my full name, with a hint of majesty in his tone.
I nodded slightly and said with a smile, "Hello, uncle."
Zhuang Yanzhi got straight to the point and asked, "Is my son with you?"
I nodded cautiously, thinking that Zhuang Yanzhi would start to curse or even break up the couple, but he didn't. He just said, "Then ask Zhuang Li to come back home soon."
"Okay." I agreed obediently.
He turned around and walked a few steps, then turned back and said hesitantly, "You guys..." After saying these two words, there was no further words. He turned around and strode away.
In the evening, Zhuang Li returned home with a thick stack of documents. His face looked a little bad, and it was hard to tell whether he was happy or angry. I handed him a glass of water and said, "Your father asked you to come home soon."
"Has he been here?" As soon as he asked this, I knew how tired Zhuang Li was. There was a strong sense of weariness in his tone.
"Um."
"Don't worry about this."
I turned around and prepared to wash clothes, but was suddenly pulled over by Zhuang Li and held in his arms. Because I was too strong, I hit his chest hard and the documents were scattered all over the floor.
I hurriedly went to pick up the information, but Zhuang Li held me tightly, making me unable to move. He buried his head in my shoulder, and his warm breath made my whole body feel hot.
I was about to struggle free, but Zhuang Li said, "Lanlan, don't move. Let me hold you for a while."
After hearing him say this, I stood there not daring to move.
Zhuang Li showed so much fatigue and fragility that I was a little at a loss.
After a long time, Zhuang Li slowly let me go.
In reality, it was only a few dozen seconds, but to me, it felt so long.
He patted my head and said in a coaxing tone: "I've been busy these days. I'll take you to a nice place when I have time."
In the past, Zhuang Li never said these words. When he was busy, he could disappear for a month, without text messages or phone calls. In front of me, he always looked superior and never cared about other people's feelings.
I once suspected that this Zhuang Li was a fake, but a person's temperament cannot be faked, and his temperament is rare in the world.
After a week, Zhuang Li finally made time to take me to what he called a "good place".
I never expected that Zhuang Li would bring me to the amusement park.
This was the happiest place in my childhood, but I have never been here.
Although it was night, there were a lot of people playing. Looking at the smiling faces of the children, I realized that childhood can be so happy.
As I was fascinated by the children playing happily, Zhuang Li whispered in my ear, "Go buy some food," and then walked away.
Suddenly, a gentle female voice came from the radio: "All tourists are requested not to go on the recreational facilities. Please stand where you are and wait." This sentence was read five times on the radio, and the staff did not allow tourists to play on the recreational facilities anymore.
After about a few minutes, there was a sudden "bang", and all the lights in the amusement park went out. The cheerful music also stopped, and the originally noisy amusement park became quiet.
A noise began to arise from the crowd.
The female voice continued to announce on the radio: "Dear customers, please don't panic. Today I am very happy to invite you to participate in the game. I didn't tell you in advance because I wanted to give you a surprise. The name of the game is 'Search'. When you first enter, the staff will give you a fluorescent bracelet. Please choose the destination according to the color of the bracelet. After arriving at the destination, please look around for a brocade box. The things inside will be your reward. Please pay attention to safety and don't fight because of scrambling. Please take good care of your children to prevent accidents. If anyone does not want to participate in the game, please follow the staff to the rest area, where there is free water and food. The game will start in fifteen minutes. Thank you."
There was another commotion among the crowd. Some staff members began to lead those who were not participating in the game to the rest area, and the rest of the people waited there, but Zhuang Li had not returned yet.
Fifteen minutes later, seven places in the amusement park were lit up with seven different colors of lights. People wearing bracelets of different colors walked to different places, and the small colored lights on the road made it easier for people to see the road.
Other people's bracelets are all one color, but mine is seven colors. After waiting for a long time, I called Zhuang Li, but the call was unanswered. After thinking it over, I decided to go to the place with purple lights first.
The place with purple lights is the "spinning coffee cup". When the staff saw me, they came up to me with a smile and said, "Madam, congratulations on becoming our special guest. If you play the spinning coffee cup once, we will give you a gift."
I sat on the coffee cup as I was told.
After playing, the staff handed me a box. I took it and opened it with confusion. There was a card inside with a drawing on it, but I didn’t know what it was.
Next, go to the places with orange, yellow, green, blue, and indigo lights and you will get a card with a picture on it. Everyone's words are exactly the same.
I played bumper cars, roller coasters, pirate ships and the big pendulum clock. I had never felt so happy before. This turned out to be the happiness that children look forward to.
Finally, we went to the place with red lights. From a distance, it was the Ferris wheel that symbolized happiness.
There are many legends about the Ferris wheel, but I would rather believe that it is just the happiness of looking up.
The road to the Ferris wheel was paved with red roses. Every step I took made me feel uneasy, and there was no one else on this road except me.
The end of the Rose Path is just below the Ferris wheel.
I saw Zhuang Li standing below from afar, his eyes fixed on me.
I couldn't help but quicken my pace.
If I'm not mistaken, everything tonight was arranged by Zhuang Li. With his human, material and financial resources, I fully believe that he can do it.
But why did he do that?
I stood in front of him, holding the cards, looked up and asked, "Did you arrange this evening?"
“Did you have fun?”
I nodded sincerely.
Those joys were something I had never possessed before, but they were given to me by Zhuang Li.
He took my hand and walked into the cabin of the Ferris wheel.
He sat beside me and took out a box from his pocket and handed it to me. I took it and saw a necklace and a card inside.
The pendant of the necklace was a sky blue rose, which looked small and delicate, and the initials of her name could be vaguely seen in the middle.
I put the seven cards together to form a complete painting. This painting should have been hung in a museum as a work of art, because the name of the painting is "Secret Love", which was the painting that won Ding Xuan the championship.
But now it appears here, cut into pieces.
Zhuang Li's action angered me. How could Ding Xuan's baby be treated like this?
I was about to get angry when Zhuang Li said in a cold voice: "In this world, only I can love you, no one else is qualified!"
He took the necklace and put it on me himself.
Zhuang Li's feelings came so suddenly and were so overbearing that it was hard to accept. The tighter he tied me, the more I wanted to stay away from him.
But in my current situation, I can’t leave him, and I dare not provoke him.
In this dilemma, I can only remain silent.
When I reached the top, I turned my head and looked out the window. It seemed that the whole world was at my feet. The lights of the city were like stars, scattered everywhere. I never knew that the whole city could be so beautiful.
Zhuang Li set the cards on fire and burned them.
I stared at his movements, trying hard to suppress the urge to rush over to stop him.
Zhuang Li raised his head, as if he knew what I wanted to do. He pulled the corner of his mouth, suddenly hugged me in his arms, and kissed my lips like a storm.
This time was different from the past. His lips were hot and moved repeatedly, as if he was tracing the outline. I was almost ignited by this sudden kiss.
All consciousness gradually disappeared, and I gave up even the thought of struggling.
When I was about to suffocate, Zhuang Li finally let me go. He still hugged me with my ears burning, and whispered: "Lan Lan, my love is too morbid, please get used to it."
I couldn't help but shiver when he said this.
"And, Lanlan, happy twenty-first birthday."
As soon as he finished speaking, colorful fireworks bloomed in the sky above the central square of the amusement park, and a series of "bang bang" sounds exploded in his ears.
Looking at such amazing and desolate beauty, my tears suddenly fell and I was at a loss.
I have already turned 21 without realizing it. Time has passed so quickly that I wonder how I have spent the past few years.
From the age of sixteen to twenty-one, I was still entangled with Zhuang Li.
Watching the fireworks, my heart was falling along with the Ferris wheel...
This fairy-tale birthday may never happen again in this life.
In fact, I should thank Zhuang Li, thank him for accepting me when I had nothing, thank him for protecting me, and thank him for giving me such a beautiful thing.
And apart from this body, I have nothing else to give back to Zhuang Li.
After we left the amusement park, Zhuang Li asked me where we were going to eat. I held his hand and said, "Zhuang Li, let's go buy some food. I'll cook for you as a token of my gratitude."
Later, we not only bought food, but also a lot of wine. That night, we both drank a lot of wine, and Zhuang Li's cheeks were flushed.
I wasn't much better, I just remembered in my mind that I had to repay Zhuang Li.
What happened next happened naturally.
Zhuang Li approached me instinctively, and I gradually became conscious from the pain, so that in the end, even Zhuang Li woke up. He kept calling my name, over and over again, with irresistible dominance.
There is an ambiguous smell in the air.
The night in my memory was so long, so long that I kept my eyes open and watched the sky gradually brighten. I was exhausted, but my consciousness was very clear. Zhuang Li, who was sleeping beside me, looked so pleasing to the eye even when he was sleeping.
Zhuang Li, I, Ding Lanyin, don’t owe you anything anymore.
Now, I really have nothing, even the last bit of myself is gone.
I covered my face, warm tears slid from the corners of my eyes, sank into the darkness, and disappeared in an instant.
The first time should have been meaningful, but I treated it as a transaction.
Maybe I don’t deserve happiness in this life.
The sky gradually brightened, and the early morning sunlight is always especially bright.
Zhuang Li made an unclear "hmm" sound, as if he was about to wake up. I quickly closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. Although I couldn't see him, I could feel him getting up. He paused for a long time before leaning over to kiss my forehead, as if he was digesting this fact.
I heard his slightly magnetic voice: "Good morning, princess." There was a hint of joy in his tone, and I could feel the burning heat of his gaze even with my eyes closed. After a long time, the feeling of being on edge finally disappeared.
It wasn't until he walked out of the room that I relaxed and finally fell into a deep sleep. I really wanted to never wake up and not face such a scene.
This dream was so chaotic. Su Jingnian asked me why with red eyes. The sad questioning tone was so real in the dream. I opened my mouth to explain, but I couldn't say a word. Everything was voluntary, without any external conditions forcing or restraining. What can I explain?
In that darkness, I felt like a cloud in the sky, my body was floating, and I didn’t know where to go.
When I opened my eyes again, dusk had fallen. I saw Zhuang Li leaning lazily on the windowsill with his back to me, the light of the setting sun falling all over him. He was wearing a simple sports shirt and looked youthful and sunny. The years had not deprived him of too much of his aura. On the contrary, as time went by, his aura became more stable and more unpredictable.
I stood up holding the quilt and said dryly, "Get out."
Zhuang Li turned around slowly, folded his arms and looked at me, motionless.
"Get out!" I said with a heavier tone.
He walked towards me step by step, his eyes burning, making me want to escape. Unexpectedly, he just walked over, grabbed a strand of my hair, and said, "I'll get you some hot water, take a good bath."
I nodded.
After he put in the hot water, I walked into the bathroom with my clothes in my arms. Looking at the bruises on my body, I squatted on the floor, covering my mouth and crying.
It was obviously all voluntary, so why am I still so sad that I can't even face Su Jingnian in my dreams?
"Su Jingnian..." I sobbed and whispered his name, as if only in this way could I feel better. Zhuang Li's love was both desperate and suffocating, and I couldn't bear it.
Su Jingnian, please take me away.
There was once someone who said he would take me far away, but he left me and flew abroad alone. If Ding Xuan had not fallen in love with me, I would still be safe in the Ding family, and spend the rest of my life remembering Su Jingnian.
After so many years, the beautiful scenery and good times are now gone.
Su Jingnian, after you left, all the good times were tainted with sadness for me. Whether I was sitting in a coffee cup or on a pirate ship, I was imagining you by my side. It was that kind of imagination that comforted me.
Su Jingnian, I definitely never told you: I miss you...
The bathroom was silent, the lights were pale, and the water in the bathtub was rippling. I tried hard to suppress my longing for Su Jingnian, and the silence gradually faded.
How nice it would be if life was just a piece of paper cutting, so that we could easily cut out the unwanted parts of life.
When I came out after packing up, Zhuang Li looked very unhappy. I tried to force a smile and responded to him: "Sorry to have kept you waiting."
Zhuang Li said nothing, but suddenly strode over to me, grabbed my chin rudely, and forced me to look up and look at him. My red and swollen eyes were exposed to him without reservation.
"Why are you crying?" Zhuang Li's tone also revealed resentment. His face was like the cloudy day before the rain, which made people feel a sense of fear.
I forced a smile and replied, "I cried for joy."
Zhuang Li had a sarcastic smile on his face: "You called out Su Jingnian's name in your dream, you haven't forgotten Su Jingnian yet!"
Hearing him say that, I was a little horrified, but then I calmed down and asked, "When did you return home?"
"After you and Su Jingnian got together." Zhuang Li didn't hide anything and shouted directly, "Su Jingnian is already a dead man. He has lost the qualification to love you! I, Zhuang Li, am the only one in the world who can love you, so you'd better forget that dead man and live a good life with me!"
I slapped Zhuang Li and said impulsively, "Don't call him a dead man!"
He was stunned, and so was I. The docility I had played for days finally disappeared without a trace under Zhuang Li's provocation.
Zhuang Li touched the place where he was hit, and the corners of his mouth raised a beautiful arc: "You are very good! No matter how I treat you, you are perfunctory like a wooden man. Now that Su Jingnian is mentioned, you are a little angry! It was obviously me who appeared first, why is he the one who has taken root in your heart?"
“Some things don’t come first or last.”
"I will definitely remove Su Jingnian from your heart completely!" Zhuang Li hugged me rudely, eagerly searching for my lips, and began to tear my clothes with his other hand.
He whispered in my ear angrily, "Ding Lanyin, I don't care even if I have to cut off your legs to keep you by my side!"
His tone was so eerie that it gave me the chills.
As if to prove what he said, Zhuang Li tortured me madly, without mercy, until I fainted. When I regained consciousness, Zhuang Li held my face and said sorry, saying that he was too impulsive.
I smiled and said, "I don't blame you. I will try to forget Su Jingnian."
After listening to her, he kissed her softly.
I closed my eyes, still feeling thankful in my heart: That’s great, I still have the energy to deal with Zhuang Li.
Zhuang Li didn't allow me to go out, and the school also asked for leave for me. He would lock the door when he went out, and put everything in the refrigerator. He said it was for my safety.
There is nothing I can do except accept it silently.
I am a bird kept in a cage by Zhuang Li, with no freedom at all.
After Zhuang Li left, I usually sat on the balcony lounge chair and stared blankly. My memories of Su Jingnian became clearer and clearer, and I even remembered the first time I met Su Jingnian in kindergarten.
At that time, everyone in the class called him "little fat boy", laughed at him, and ridiculed him. I was not popular either, so I was isolated. Although I would not follow others to laugh at him, I would not play with him anyway. Once in physical education class, we were skipping rope in pairs, one person skipped rope and the other helped count, and then we switched. He and I did not have a partner, and the teacher called us to do it together.
At that time, Su Jingnian looked at me with cautious eyes, which made me swallow all my rebuttals. I finished the dance quickly, and Su Jingnian smiled and said that I was great. When it was his turn to dance, things developed in an unexpected direction.
Su Jingnian was too fat, and when he jumped he looked like a ball bouncing. Every time he jumped, people around him would laugh. Su Jingnian stood there innocently, tears dripping down his face, looking so wronged.
Perhaps it was the sympathy I felt at that moment, I stood bravely in front of him and said viciously to those who were laughing: "Don't you have any weaknesses that could cause you to be laughed at?" I pointed at a few people at random and pointed out their shortcomings without any hesitation.
Everyone around was silent.
Su Jingnian also gradually stopped sobbing.
In fact, I was scared to death, fearing that those people would retaliate against me someday, but with so many people watching me at this moment, I couldn't show the slightest bit of cowardice.
Later, I admired myself at that time, but in the years that followed, except for clinging to Zhuang Li, I no longer had that kind of courage.
The longer you live, the more timid you become. You need to look before you do anything and no longer have the courage to move forward.
An old heart cannot afford the recklessness of youth.
Su Jingnian taught me to resist and fight for what I wanted, but he is no longer here.
I can’t recall the past anymore, for I’m afraid my tears will start to fall uncontrollably again, and I don’t know what will happen if Zhuang Li sees my red eyes.
Zhuang Li is now a complete madman.
I calmed myself down and started looking for things to do, such as reading. People need to do something to divert their attention.
There are many books in Zhuang Li’s study, and I tiptoed to find the books that interested me.
Most of his books are very old and have an antique feel.
I picked up a few books and flipped through them randomly. When I turned to one of them, something suddenly fell off. I looked carefully and found that it was a photo.
The scene in the photo was a bolt from the blue - my cheeks were red, I was sleeping, and my arms were exposed. The white quilt covered my chest and below, and the exposed skin was completely naked. I didn't know if I was wearing any clothes under the quilt. And someone was kissing my face next to me, and that person was Zhuang Li.
The photo was taken from the side, showing him being affectionate.
I don't drink a lot, and I've only been drunk twice in my life. Once was when I was completely abandoned by the Ding family, and the other time was at Sun Qing's birthday party. What's more, there is a date on this photo.
But why did Zhuang Li appear in the hotel at that time? Why did he take pictures ? Did Su Jingnian know that he had been there? And why did he send me the photo of Su Jingnian cheating at that time?
All the questions were in a mess in my mind.
I stared at the photo blankly. The more I looked, the more it hurt my eyes. I had some vague guesses in my mind, but I wasn't sure.
Zhuang Li is such a proud person, he should not bother to play tricks. But thinking about what Sun Qing said and what happened recently, I was a little scared.
Just as I was daydreaming, I heard the sound of the door opening. I hurriedly put the photo back, put the book back to its place, and then walked out as if nothing had happened.
The photos can't explain anything, everything is just speculation. I don't want to question Zhuang Li based on speculation.
Unless there is other evidence.
Zhuang Li changed his shoes and came to kiss me out of habit. I said, "I'll get you a glass of water," and dodged.
Maybe he touched me that time at the amusement park, but I paid it back. As for the rest of the acting, it all depends on my mood.
Once you become suspicious of a person, you will begin to feel disgusted with everything about him, including intimate touch.
Zhuang Li didn't doubt anything and just said lightly, "I'll go cook."
After dinner, he was afraid that I was bored, so he took me out for a walk and asked me what I did today. I whispered, "I'm bored at home, please let me go to class."
Zhuang Li was silent for a long time before he agreed: "Then you must promise not to leave me."
I took the initiative to lean over and kiss the corner of his mouth, smiling and saying, "I won't leave you."
Zhuang Li's expression was unusually cheerful, and he seemed to be in a good mood. But after a few seconds, he stared at a certain place, and his face darkened.
Following his gaze, I saw a middle-aged man standing not far away. He walked over and said respectfully, "Master, the master is seriously ill. You should go back to the manor."
"I'm not going back."
"Master, the master..."
Zhuang Li frowned and interrupted impatiently: "You don't have to say more."
I was stunned, took the initiative to hold Zhuang Li's hand, and gently persuaded him: "You should go back. I will go with you. I don't want you to regret it."
He was silent for a few seconds before he lowered his brows and said, "I'll go back on the weekend."
The middle-aged man smiled and nodded with relief, then turned and left.
I know I shouldn't meddle in other people's business, but if one day Zhuang Yanzhi becomes like my father, I'm afraid Zhuang Li won't be able to bear it.
On the weekend, Zhuang Li drove me back to the manor. The place was still the same as I remembered, but the roses had withered, leaving only dry vines. The weather was getting colder, and the plants in the greenhouse were not as lush as in the summer.
Although it was not the first time I met Zhuang Yanzhi, I was still a little scared. But when I saw his appearance, I felt a lot of emotion.
The man who dominated the business world could actually be so fragile. His serious and rigid temperament disappeared without a trace, and the person lying in front of me was just an ordinary middle-aged man. He took off all his disguises and returned to his original appearance.
Zhuang Yanzhi was lying on the bed, half-closed his eyes, and was receiving an IV drip. The family doctor was standing by. Perhaps because Zhuang Li pushed the door too hard, Zhuang Yanzhi slowly opened his eyes. There was a relief in his eyes that I had never seen before, and probably because Zhuang Li was back, his eyes were shining. But he couldn't lose face, and said coldly: "Evil child, you still remember to come back."
Not wanting to be outdone, Zhuang Li shot back, "I'll come back to see if you're dead."
"I haven't died yet, but you've already pissed me off to death."
"No. After all, you have been mad at me for more than ten years, and you have a strong heart. If you are not mad at me for a day, you might not be used to it."
Zhuang Yanzhi rarely refuted and murmured, "I just feel uncomfortable if I don't get mad at you!"
Later, no one knew who laughed first, and the tense atmosphere disappeared without a trace. Zhuang Yanzhi said slowly, "Since you are back, stay a few more days before leaving."
"I have to go to school on Monday."
"Your father is about to die, why are you still attending classes!" When Zhuang Yanzhi said this, he looked like a grumpy old man.
Zhuang Li turned his head, as if to ask for my opinion. Zhuang Yanzhi also looked at me, with a little desire in his eyes.
I had no choice but to answer: "Then we will wait until you feel better and make up for the missed classes."
When I missed classes in my junior year, I would ask my roommate to take a photo of my notes and send them to me. If I didn’t understand something, I would ask the teacher. The same thing happened in my freshman and sophomore years. All exams in college require 60 points, and one point more is a waste. After so many things happened, I have never failed a course, which should be the thing I am most proud of in college.
Hearing what I said, Zhuang Yanzhi felt relieved.
Although Zhuang Li said he hated Zhuang Yanzhi, he was still worried about his condition. He asked the family doctor about some conditions and precautions. They both cared about each other, but they quarreled as soon as they met.
If my father were still alive, I would quarrel with him every day as long as he was still here.
I have never known what fatherly love is, nor what motherly love is, so I try so hard to draw warmth from others.
After dinner, Zhuang Li and I sat on the swing, looking lazy and relaxed, as if we hadn't been so relaxed for a long time. After a while of silence, Zhuang Li said calmly, "In fact, I still hate him in my heart, but I can't bear to see him so weak."
I patted his shoulder comfortingly.
He went on to say: “I will never forget the look of despair on my mother’s face when she died.”
“That’s their story.”
This generation cannot control what happened to the previous generation.
After getting down from the swing, Zhuang Yanzhi said he wanted to eat some fruit, asked Zhuang Li to buy some, and then called me in. When I was alone with Zhuang Yanzhi, I always felt a little uneasy.
Zhuang Yanzhi did not beat around the bush and said directly: "To be honest, I still don't like you. Even though you are impeccable and you are of great significance to Zhuang Li, to the entire Zhuang family, your existence has no meaning."
Zhuang Li is not just Zhuang Li, he is also the future heir of the Zhuang family. I agree with what Zhuang Yanzhi said.
He continued slowly, "Zhuang Li needs someone who can help him in his career. Even if they don't need a marriage, the ability must be good. And you are useless except for your beauty."
Should I be glad that at least he thinks I am pretty?
"So, for the sake of the Zhuang family, and even more for Zhuang Li, shouldn't you learn how to help him?"
What Zhuang Yanzhi said was beyond my expectation. I thought he was going to ask me to leave Zhuangli or something.
In fact, I had no intention of becoming Zhuang's right-hand man, and it was even more impossible for me to study for Zhuang Li. Maybe I could only stay with Zhuang Li now, but it might not be the case after I graduate.
In my spare time, I have submitted my internship resume online. As long as I have a job that can support myself, I will no longer depend on him.
Zhuang Yanzhi was too weak, and he needed an heir, but Zhuang Li had not yet grown up to be able to take charge. A father's earnest hope may never be understood by their children. He then whispered, "The marriage between Zhuang Li's mother and I was just a business marriage, without any love. When I was young, I may have been attracted to other women, but that was all. When she died, I realized that some things had already changed, but it was too late to regret. I don't blame Zhuang Li for hating me, I only blame myself for not seeing clearly earlier."
I understand, because I was once moved by Zhuang Li, and mistakenly thought he was my true love, but there is no comparison between being moved and true love. Being moved is at most the light of a diamond, which may amaze you for a moment and make you want to have it immediately, but true love is like sunshine, which will make people feel ordinary after a long time, but it always warms people. Once lost, the whole world will be dark. Without diamonds, the world is still bright; without sunshine, no one can survive.
This is the difference between true love and heartbreak.
Zhuang Li is the diamond, and Su Jingnian is the warm sunshine. Unfortunately, this sunshine is gone, and my world is left with only darkness, and the brilliance of the diamond is also covered.
I was speechless and didn't know what to say.
After all, I have also experienced the situation where you only know how to cherish something after you lose it, although everything changed afterwards.
Zhuang Yanzhi asked earnestly, "Can you do what I said?"
I shook my head honestly and replied, "I can't do that. That's a man's thing."
Zhuang Yanzhi sighed and said, "Yes, this is indeed difficult for you..."
This is never a question of whether it is difficult or not, but a question of whether you are intentional or not.
At this time, Zhuang Li came back with a big bag of fruit. He saw me in the study, pulled me to the balcony, and asked, "What did he say?"
"He actually cares about you."
"And the rest?"
"No more." I shook my head. There are some things I don't need to tell him.
"Judging from the expressions on your faces when you were talking, it seems that he is not so opposed to you anymore." Zhuang Li reached out and stroked my face repeatedly with his thumb, with a tender and attached look.
"Yeah." I looked at the street lights in the courtyard and said nothing.
Suddenly, something cold landed between my eyebrows, and I saw snow falling like fine salt. It turned out that winter had already arrived for a long time without me noticing.
Maybe my heart has been cold for too long, so this winter doesn’t seem that cold.
When I woke up the next day, the courtyard was covered in white. I stood on the balcony with a glass of warm milk, looking at the white world, and felt happy for no reason. Suddenly, I felt a warm sensation on my shoulders. I turned around and saw that it was Zhuang Li who was holding a blanket and draping it over my shoulders.
I sighed inwardly.
If you don't make him angry, he is still a perfect boyfriend. He can cook, be considerate, and create little surprises and romance from time to time.
The original arrogant and cold Zhuang Li seemed to have been reborn.
But, with Su Jingnian between him and me, we can never go back to the old days.
Zhuang Li asked beside me: "Do you want to go play in the snow?"
I shook my head.
After staying at the Zhuang family for a few days, we returned to the house in Zhuangli Community. Because the final exam was approaching, I was frantically studying for the lessons I missed. Fortunately, the teacher had the habit of marking the key points before the exam, otherwise I would definitely fail the course if I missed so many classes.
After the winter vacation, Zhuang Li seemed to be very free, following me around every day, which made me a little uncomfortable. I did whatever he said, and I was too lazy to argue.
The New Year is approaching, and the city is filled with a festive atmosphere. Many shops hang red lanterns, neighbors put up couplets, and even the gates of the community hang banners wishing a happy New Year.
But this New Year, Zhuang Yanzhi was seriously ill and had been hospitalized. His condition was sometimes better and sometimes worse, and his illness kept recurring, tormenting both Zhuang Yanzhi and Zhuang Li.
The Zhuang family's company seemed to be in a panic. Zhuang Li was very busy and often disappeared. Every time he came to the hospital, his face was tired. Negative news about the Zhuang family was often broadcast on TV, which was a headache. And I couldn't help much except taking good care of Zhuang Yanzhi.
The New Year was a mess, with no joy at all.
On the night of New Year's Eve, Zhuang Li and I spent the night in the operating room. The hospital was cold and lonely, but outside, fireworks were blooming all over the sky, and a window separated two worlds. Zhuang Li hadn't closed his eyes for two days. His chin was covered with green stubble, his eyes were bloodshot, and he didn't eat well. He had lost a lot of weight.
No matter how many words of comfort I said, it was all in vain. I just sat beside him quietly and accompanied him.
The fireworks outside continued to pop, and Zhuang Li suddenly grabbed my hand. I could feel his hand trembling slightly, and it turned out that he was afraid too.
He lowered his head and said in a dry voice: "I'm afraid he will be unable to get off the operating table."
"No. Don't think too much, he will be fine." I myself don't believe such comfort.
All that was left was a long wait, minute by minute, and no one knew how long it had passed before the operation was over. Zhuang Yanzhi was still in critical condition and could only be observed. The doctor had done his best.
Zhuang Yanzhi suffered from stomach cancer.
He had asked his family doctor to conceal his illness and not tell Zhuang Li the truth. It was not until the morning of New Year's Eve when he fainted and was sent to the hospital that Zhuang Li and I learned the truth.
The doctor said that if the situation is good, he can live for half a year, but if the situation is not good, he may only have two months.
Zhuang Li stood there in a daze, his face full of confusion and helplessness. Perhaps only at this moment did he act like a child.
Zhuang Yanzhi was in a coma until the third day of the Chinese New Year. Zhuang Li was still busy with company matters, so I was the only one guarding the hospital. When he woke up, I immediately called Zhuang Li. Not long after, Zhuang Li rushed over. The father and son looked at each other in the ward, and no one spoke. I quietly withdrew to leave space for the two of them.
In fact, I was also very tired. I ran up and down the hospital every day, fearing that something might go wrong. I didn’t dare leave the ward to sleep at night. Occasionally, the dealer’s driver would come to keep watch for me for a while.
Seeing Zhuang Yanzhi wake up, I felt relieved, so I sat in the corridor, leaning against the wall to rest for a while, but fell asleep unknowingly.
When I woke up, I found myself lying on an empty hospital bed, with Zhuang Li sleeping on his stomach beside me. He must have been very tired too.
I got up quietly, but I woke him up unexpectedly. Zhuang Li's eyes were still red and his face was depressed. He said with a smile: "Dad's condition is getting better. I hired a senior nurse to take care of him. The company has been too busy these days, so I asked you to take care of Dad for me. Thank you."
"No thanks." Zhuang Li actually learned to say "thank you".
"Then let's go home first."
"good."
"Go home" is such a warm word, but it seems so far away when it comes from Zhuang Li's mouth. All I did was to repay Zhuang Li's kindness, nothing else.
Back at Zhuang Li's place, I sat on the sofa and really didn't want to move. Zhuang Li took the initiative to go to the kitchen to cook. I turned my head and looked at him picking vegetables in the kitchen, and asked, "How did you live abroad?"
Zhuang Li replied without even looking up: "I thought you would never ask. Actually, it's just like that. There's nothing much to say."
I just wanted to ask him why he had changed so much, but I couldn't say it.
After the Lantern Festival, Zhuang Li became busy again, running between the company and the school, and I also received an interview call from a company. They were recruiting interns, although it was not a big company, but it was also acceptable.
I downloaded their internship application form from the company's official website, which required it to be handwritten.
When I was filling out the form carefully, Zhuang Li came back. He saw me writing but didn't pay much attention. After seeing me fiddling with it for so long, he came over and asked, "What are you writing? Why is it taking you so long?"
Before I could answer, I noticed that the aura of the people around me had changed. Zhuang Li's face looked very bad, which was usually a sign of a storm. He asked word by word, "What are you writing?"
I said calmly, "I want to find an internship at a company."
Zhuang Li said domineeringly: "I won't allow it! Don't worry about the money, just stay by my side."
I turned around, stood up, looked directly into Zhuang Li's dark eyes, and asked seriously, "What am I in your eyes?"
"You are the person I love most in my life."
Oh! The love of my life... How ironic!
In Zhuang Li's eyes, I am nothing more than his accessory. His love is a cage, but I long for freedom. There is no equality between him and me, so how can we talk about love?
For the first time, I said to Zhuang Li seriously, "Zhuang Li, your love is twisted."
Zhuang Li said stubbornly: "I just want you to stay by my side every moment!"
"Zhuang Li!"
He wouldn't listen to anything I said.
Zhuang Li tore up the form angrily, took my hand, and kissed me violently. His kiss was impetuous and urgent, perhaps as a punishment. That night he rode on me again and again, forcing me to say I loved him.
I begged for mercy until my throat was hoarse and my whole body felt like it was about to shatter.