At dawn, I received a call from Lu Mingyu. He looked sober after drinking, and his voice was hazy and hoarse.
I hid under the quilt, not daring to answer him loudly, because I was afraid that he would hear the fatigue in my voice after not sleeping all night.
After apologizing to me, he rushed back to school to attend classes.
I chose not to tell him anything in the end. I am not a person who likes to make trouble. After experiencing such unbearable pain twice, if I don't learn from it, I will be a waste. That is Lu Mingyu's love. What does it have to do with me no matter how he loves? Now I just want to live my life peacefully and steadily.
I don't need anyone to judge me, nor do I need anyone to tell me what to do.
Unconsciously, I felt that I seemed to be a little braver than before. At least, when I got up in the morning, I packed my things without worrying about Cheng Duo who was still lying in bed.
If she annoys me again, I will never forgive her.
In fact, after this incident, Cheng Duo did restrain himself.
However, you know, my attitude towards her has completely changed since the quarrel. According to Tang Tang, I feel like I have been reborn.
This is good, at least I don’t live a miserable life.
Lu Mingyu and Cheng Duo reconciled very naturally after a few days, as if nothing had happened.
But for me, this feeling is like putting on dirty underwear after taking a shower. But at least my pain nerves are numb a lot, so I don't feel so nauseous.
However, I no longer took the initiative to contact Lu Mingyu, and I deliberately reduced the number of times I answered his phone calls.
He seemed to know that I was angry and didn't dare to come to me.
But they broke up after all.
It was the day before the final exams. Cheng Duo walked past us with another boy in the school. What we never expected was that she announced to us that night that she would not live in the dormitory next semester. After saying that, she looked at me seriously.
I don't look very well.
She walked up to me with her arms folded, pretending to be kind and said, "I've returned your Lu Mingyu to you. You can do whatever you want with him now. I think he needs you a lot now."
At that time, I didn't understand what she meant. After all, Lu Mingyu and I hadn't contacted each other for a long time. But her words really made me unhappy.
I turned around and responded with a smile: "That's great! Thank you for finally letting Lu Mingyu go! I hope your relationship can last a little longer! What will happen to Lu Mingyu in the future, you, the awful ex, won't have to worry about it!"
"Pei Jixing!" She looked at me with gritted teeth.
I knew I had succeeded in irritating her.
People like her hope that their ex will always think of them even after breaking up, live for them, die for them, worry for them, be devoted to them and never regret it all their life, while she herself can play with love and live a carefree life.
I have no right to control how she falls in love, but the person she treats like a piece of trash is the one I have always cherished and loved.
I don't want her to slander him with words like that after hurting him.
So, this time, I fought back.
However, she just looked at me with gritted teeth, then turned and walked away angrily.
I've known her for so long, but I've only just figured out that she's a paper tiger. I'm such a failure.
After successfully completing the exam, I packed my luggage and returned home with great fanfare.
I bought some small gifts for Chen Meihua, which I earned from working.
Although Chen Meihua didn't show a particularly happy expression, her attitude softened a bit. Maybe she had good luck playing cards recently, and she was in a good mood when I gave her gifts, because she rarely looked at me in a good mood.
While I was packing my things, I was chatting with her casually , and she suddenly mentioned Lu Mingyu.
"Have you been close to the boy who lived upstairs in our house recently?"
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"He recently moved back. I heard something bad happened at home. Now he's back alone and is living a miserable life." Chen Meihua said, shaking her head regretfully. "If his family was in the same condition as before, it would be good for you to interact with him more. But given his family's current situation, it's better for you to interact with him less."
"What did you say?" I stood up in shock. "What happened in his family?"
"His father's business failed, he owed a lot of money, and he went to jail. He was afraid of getting his wife and children into trouble, so he divorced his wife before the truth came to light. Lu Mingyu's mother fell ill and was hospitalized. Lu Mingyu moved back here alone, and no one cared about him. Hey, where are you going? You're not going to look for him, are you? Hey, you stubborn person—"
I ignored Chen Meihua's attempt to stop me and rushed out.
At this moment, I suddenly felt extremely guilty. As his friend, I had no idea that such a big thing had happened in his family. You know, this incident was a bolt from the blue for someone like him who grew up in a honeypot.
I suddenly understood why Cheng Duo broke up with him without any regrets, and why there were always strange phone calls to me in the middle of the night, which would only ring twice and then hang up.
That must be Lu Mingyu. He needs me, but he doesn’t dare to tell me directly.
I took two steps at a time and soon arrived at Lu Mingyu's house and knocked on the door.
After a long while, there was a rustling sound from inside, and the security door opened without warning. Then, a boy with messy hair and a white sweater with some stains on it stood in front of me.
His eye sockets were dark, he was much thinner than before, and looked sickly.
My eyes suddenly felt sore.
When he saw it was me, his eyes suddenly lit up and he stretched out his hand involuntarily.
I suddenly wanted to touch him, but the next second, he took my hand and hugged me tightly. He smelled of cigarettes and alcohol, and I knew he was not doing well.
Fortunately, now, I will be with him.
He buried his head in my neck, and said in a low voice with a hint of grievance: "Pei Jixing, you are finally here."
Immature love is like a pile of chocolate-flavored feces. After the sweetness, it always makes you feel nauseous.
When I told Lu Mingyu this, he was eating chocolate-flavored cookies and vomited them out of disgust. He said to me helplessly, "Pei Jixing, when did you become so sharp-tongued?"
"It just tells you that after experiencing a bad relationship, you have to learn to grow and improve your taste." I said as I threw his coat into the washing machine.
Men are men after all. Without someone to take care of them, no matter how clean they are, their homes will still be messy and in a mess. There were empty beer bottles everywhere in the house, and instant noodle garbage in the kitchen. I could see through his decadence and depression at a glance.
"I'm sorry, little star. During this time I...I..."
The family suffered misfortune and love was betrayed...
I know he has endured a lot during this period. He used to be such a shining and handsome boy, but now he is a decadent and lost boy with a dull look in his eyes.
"I know, it's okay. Lu Mingyu. Everything will be fine."
I suppressed the heartache I felt for him and looked at him with a smile.
Lu Mingyu was stunned for a moment, then he also curled the corners of his mouth. On his frail face, I seemed to see a light full of warmth and vitality.
Everything will be alright because I will be with you.
I stayed at Lu Mingyu's house for a whole day.
Chen Meihua came to call me several times, but I didn't leave. Lu Mingyu, who was already running a fever, groaned uncomfortably on the bed when he heard that I was leaving.
After all, I still couldn't bear to leave him. He was like the most vulnerable part of my body. When it hurts, I will feel uneasy.
I have to say that he made this originally tidy house extremely messy, and it took me a long time to clean it up. Then I washed all his clothes again. Finally, I bought some food and put it in the refrigerator. After finishing all these, I picked up a book and sat by his bed, reading while watching over him.
At first he just pulled the corner of my clothes, but later he held my hand without hesitation and fell into a deep dream.
I don't know when my beloved boy had silently experienced the hardships that I dared not even think about. His pretending to be strong shell finally broke, revealing the tender heart of a newborn baby. And in front of me, he showed these most vulnerable places without reservation.
My heart suddenly became wet, and I didn’t know whether it was sadness, relief, or some other indescribable emotion.
I leaned over, looked at his trembling eyelashes, and couldn't help but touch his forehead.
No matter what, I hope this boy is doing well.
When I left, I put the 4,000 yuan I had taken out from the ATM next to his pillow. I didn't have that much money to pay him back, so I could only give him this much first, so that at least he could live a better life. After this period of time is over, I will take him to work with me, so that he will become more positive and everything will be much better.
When I got home, Chen Meihua was still awake. I tried to sneak into the bedroom, but she caught me. She held a cigarette in her mouth and threw it at me, scolding me.
"Pei Jixing, how old are you now, and you're already hanging around men!"
"Can you not be so harsh? I have a good relationship with Lu Mingyu, and it's okay for me to help him when he has problems." I couldn't control my emotions. I thought, maybe it's because people become braver in college.
"It's nothing, it's nothing. I tell you, you can treat him as an ordinary friend, but you are not allowed to like him. He is in this state now and he doesn't know what to do. Her mother is still spending a lot of money in the hospital, so don't do anything that will lose money!"
The dim light made Chen Meihua's face look greasy. She smoked with a sarcastic look on her face, not caring at all about the snobbish, cold and selfish words she said.
I hate her like this.
I hate her for being like this, she is my mother.
Early the next morning, I was woken up by Chen Meihua and went with her to buy New Year's goods.
I know what she is thinking. She just doesn't want me to see Lu Mingyu again.
I didn't express my dissatisfaction and just took a laissez-faire attitude.
Lu Mingyu really should have a good rest, after all, his fever had just subsided. But the rest time was really too long. At lunch time, I ran to bring him food, but I couldn't knock on his door.
I was restless the whole afternoon, and he didn't call me. It seemed that his phone was not with him at all, and no matter how I called, I couldn't get through.
Seeing me like this, Chen Meihua finally couldn't stand it anymore and forced me not to go out again today.
But who would care about her? She didn't take care of me properly when I was a teenager, so what's the point of trying to fix it now?
I turned a deaf ear to her words and kept my mind and body focused on the phone.
It wasn't until the evening that the phone finally rang.
I woke up from a light dream and raised my hand to grab the phone. A string of unfamiliar numbers was displayed on it. I pressed the answer button without thinking, and a strange man's voice asked, "Is this Pei Jixing?"
For some reason, my hands suddenly started shaking.
"Yes, may I ask who you are?"
"Please come to the police station on Zhongshan Road. Your friend Lu Mingyu is here now."
This emotionless dialogue was like a bucket of cold water suddenly poured down on me, completely sobering me up. Without time to think, I rolled out of bed as quickly as possible, grabbed a coat, and rushed out.
Before leaving, I took a box of private money hidden under the cabinet, but it was also Chen Meihua's money. At this time, she and her sisters went out to drink and had no time to take care of me.
I dare not imagine whether she would be furious if she knew that her daughter, who had always been well-behaved, had stolen her money for a boy.
However, I don't have time to think about this.
I will return the money to her.
When I went out, it was snowing heavily outside. I rushed upstairs again as if possessed by a ghost and took out a very thick down jacket that could be worn by both men and women.
I think he must be in a very sorry state at this moment.
It turned out that my guess was not wrong at all. When I arrived at the police station, the first thing I saw was Lu Mingyu leaning against the cold wall of the detention room, his eyes closed with a numb expression. His face was bruised and purple, and the wound on his arm was still bleeding. He was still wearing the white sweater, but it was even dirtier. I had washed all his clothes, so he had no other clothes to wear.
My tears suddenly flowed, catching me off guard, and soaked my heart.
Perhaps he heard the sound, and he slowly opened his eyes at this moment. After seeing me for a moment, he did not look overjoyed, but looked at me with an inexplicable look, then tried hard to hold back tears and turned his head away.
More than half an hour later, the police asked about the case and finally .
I stuffed the remaining money into the inside pocket of my coat, then stood outside the detention room, waiting obediently for Lu Mingyu to come out .
The moment he came out, I draped the down jacket firmly over his shoulders.
With tears in his eyes, he stood in front of me and looked at me silently. He wanted to say something, but in the end he didn't say it.
When I left the police station, it was nearly eight o'clock, but the snow still showed no sign of stopping.
Lu Mingyu and I walked in the snow, one after the other, and the dim street lights made our shadows overlap ambiguously.
I couldn't bear it anymore and finally asked, "Why are you fighting?" I couldn't control my steps anymore, so I walked up to him angrily and looked at him with a questioning look.
The handsome face with the wound was full of astonishment. However, this subtle expression lasted less than a second, and he turned his head away and said coldly: "It's none of your business."
I got so angry that I said angrily, "I paid to bail you out, and it's none of my business!"
His body trembled and he finally looked me in the eye.
At the same time, my cell phone suddenly vibrated.
I knew it was Chen Meihua, but I had no way to take care of her at the moment, and I didn't want to listen to her scolding, so I hung up the phone without hesitation and chose to turn it off.
Before that, I have to sort out some things with this boy in front of me.
But at that time, I didn't know that it was such a simple decision that would completely separate him and me from our originally intersecting life trajectories.
It was as if skin and flesh were being separated, silently, but with suffocating pain.
When I came to my senses, I didn't even have the right to regret.
Under my repeated pressure, Lu Mingyu finally explained the reason why he hit someone.
It turned out that the man he beat up was the one who betrayed his father and bankrupted him. Those crimes should not be placed entirely on his father, but this man pushed the charges against himself onto his father. Lu Mingyu, who was originally going to the supermarket to buy something, bumped into him by chance and followed him to Zhongshan Road. The two had an argument, and Lu Mingyu could no longer bear it and beat him up.
After explaining all this to me, Lu Mingyu suddenly smiled sadly. He said, "What a coincidence, Pei Jixing, why do you always run into me when I'm in the most embarrassing moment?"
"Maybe you want me to see it." I said lightly.
I opened my arms and hugged him.
I'm not so nervous that my breathing is disordered, and my heart is not beating so wildly that it is out of rhythm. I just want to pass on the warmth to him in front of me.
He didn't know how desolate he looked at this moment, so desolate that it seemed as if he would disappear in the vast snow at any time.
He seemed to have changed completely. He was no longer the rebellious boy. Fate had smoothed out his edges bit by bit and poured suffering into his body.
"Thank you, Pei Jixing, thank you for coming back to me no matter how miserable I was." He rested his thin chin on my shoulder and said softly, "But I can't give you anything now."
"Not even a midnight snack?" I winked at him mischievously, trying to break the inexplicably sad atmosphere at the time.
He smiled helplessly and nodded heavily.
We went out to eat spicy skewers despite the cold weather, and I didn't turn on my phone. It's not that I forgot, but I didn't want to. Of course, I didn't forget Chen Meihua, but I still wanted to at least show some apology.
Carrying the midnight snack I bought specially for Chen Meihua, Lu Mingyu and I returned to the community chatting and laughing.
What none of us could have imagined was that a lot of people had gathered in the supposedly quiet neighborhood. In the middle of the crowd, there were two cars parked, one was a fire truck, and the other was an ambulance. Looking up, thick smoke was coming out of the first window on the left of Building 5.
Lu Mingyu looked up and asked nervously, "Is that your home?"
My head buzzed and my heart sank rapidly. I didn't care about the midnight snack with soup in my bag and staggered into the crowd.
In just one second, the facts before my eyes proved all the ominous premonitions in my heart the previous second.
About three people were carried into the ambulance one after another. The first two were not seriously injured, but the third one had blood all over her face and her bright red dress was half burned. I could tell at a glance that it was Chen Meihua.
At this moment, I felt like I was dreaming.
That’s right, I hate Chen Meihua. I hate that someone as snobbish, mean and cold as her is my mother.
But, I never wanted her to just disappear.
After all, she is my only relative in this world.
I even have a naive wish in my heart that one day, she will suddenly wake up and no longer be indifferent to me. Like all the other mothers in the world, she will care for me tenderly and let me and her become the most ordinary mother and daughter in this world.
But now, my innocent hope seems to be shattered all of a sudden.
She was burned in the fire and her life or death is unknown.
The previous call might have been the last call she made to me in a critical moment.
But I refused.
Thinking of this, I slapped myself without hesitation.
But nothing has changed except the pain.
Suddenly, a busy tone sounded in my ears, and a constant stream of wailing came towards me, and I felt as if I was in the ocean with nowhere to escape.
At this moment, Lu Mingyu stepped forward and supported me as I fell backwards involuntarily.
The sirens of ambulances rang through the night sky, and my already incomplete life collapsed again at this moment with a devastating force.
And I had no right to resist except crying helplessly.