Chapter 5 Youth Will Eventually Pass Away 03
The next day at noon, I went to the Taekwondo Club, but I didn't see Ji Chuan, so I asked the students in the club where Ji Chuan was. But the people in the club didn't know where Ji Chuan had gone, so I could only go to the dormitory to look for him. Although the possibility that he was in the dormitory was very low, I still wanted to go and see, if he was in the dormitory, I could give him a surprise.
I imagined everything that might happen to be beautiful. I thought about the time when I met Ji Chuan, Ji Chuan apologized to me and told me that he would never have close contact with other girls again. I also thought of many ways Ji Chuan apologized to me.
I don’t know if I’m too naive or if God is playing a joke on me, but when I really want something, when I really want to accomplish something and achieve a perfect result, God gives me the worst outcome.
I walked to the boys' dormitory, and was happily thinking about how to sneak in to find Ji Chuan, but I saw Ji Chuan and the girl who appeared with him in the milk tea shop before standing under a tree, and they seemed to be chatting happily.
They really look like a couple in love!
I couldn't bear to watch this scene any longer after just one glance. I could only close my eyes quickly, suppress the anger rising in my heart, and tell myself that all this was normal and I shouldn't be suspicious. Maybe they were just talking about the Taekwondo Club.
I tried hard to make my expression look less stiff, forced a smile and walked towards where Ji Chuan and the girl were.
What I didn’t expect was that after I took a few steps, I saw Ji Chuan smiling at the girl and giving her a light kiss on the forehead affectionately.
Such a familiar action, such a familiar Ji Chuan, just rushed into my eyes, but the girl standing opposite him was not me. Such an ending was a wake-up call for me.
So cruel!
I stopped and tears flowed uncontrollably. I opened my mouth to breathe, but felt like I couldn't take in a breath of air, as if even the air was frozen. At the same time, I suddenly felt an inexplicable pain in my heart.
I covered my chest and squatted down in pain.
Almost at this moment, my whole world became gray and no longer colorful. Everything in my world seemed to have lost its vitality, color, and energy.
"Classmate, what's wrong with you? Are you feeling unwell?"
I heard concerned questions from classmates passing by, but I didn’t even have the strength to stand up, let alone speak. I felt like I was deep under the sea. I wanted to struggle to the surface, but the more I struggled, the deeper I sank.
At this moment, I deeply felt what heartache was, what it meant to be hopelessly doomed, and the feeling of powerlessness when pain came like an overwhelming tidal wave.
My vision became increasingly blurred until a pair of familiar Jordan sneakers appeared before my eyes.
I struggled to stand up and looked up at this face with a complicated expression that was both familiar and unfamiliar.
My mind was in a mess and I had no idea what I did or said.
Later, the only thing I could remember was that I slapped Ji Chuan hard, shaking off the only bit of reluctance in my heart.
After slapping Ji Chuan, I rushed out of the campus, took a taxi and went straight home.
I huddled in the back seat of the taxi, my mind blank and my vision blurred by tears.
Everything happened so fast that I couldn't handle it.
It's so ironic!
What I couldn't accept the most was that when I valued Ji Chuan as much as air and water, he was actually having a sweet time with another girl. I didn't know if he felt a little bit ashamed, or if he felt a little sorry for me, and I didn't know if he would occasionally think of me and feel a little reluctant to leave.
Perhaps, all of this is no longer important. Ji Chuan and I have come to this point, and the only option left for us is to break up. There is no other choice.
What a shame!
This feeling of being abandoned and betrayed really makes me feel so ashamed. This way of breaking up really makes me feel so ashamed!
When I got home, it was my stepmother who opened the door. She was surprised to see my face covered with tears.
I didn't know what she was thinking, and I didn't know if she was secretly scolding me and saying I deserved it. I was in no mood to think about these things at the moment. I rushed back to my bedroom, climbed onto the bed, and wrapped myself in the quilt.
The bed was warm, and this warmth gradually calmed me down. In a trance, I felt like I was once in my mother's arms, peaceful and unharmed.
This failed relationship almost drained all my energy. I no longer had the strength to get out of bed, let alone the courage to go to school. I locked the door of my room and spent all my time curled up .
I stayed at home for several days, not going to class or answering anyone's calls.
My father and stepmother didn’t know what had happened to me. They could only see how sad I was and how I sat at the dinner table without saying a word, eating a few bites, and then went back to my room.
My father came to see me several times and said some words of comfort to me, but I didn't listen to a word. I just wrapped myself in the quilt, didn't say a word, and didn't want to explain anything to my father. Anyway, he never asked about my affairs, and never cared about my affairs. Until I broke up with Ji Chuan, he didn't even know that I had been with Ji Chuan for several years, and didn't know that a boy named Ji Chuan had hurt his daughter completely.
My father knew nothing about me, so I didn't care at all, and I was in no mood to explain my abnormality to him. I also didn't tell Shen Xiaoyu what happened between Ji Chuan and me, and I didn't tell her that Ji Chuan and I had broken up completely.
Later, I heard that on the day Ji Chuan and I broke up, Shen Xiaoyu went to participate in the semi-finals of the Mathematical Modeling Competition. After she heard about Ji Chuan and I, she called me, but the call didn't go through.
The day Shen Xiaoyu came to my house to look for me, she had just finished participating in a competition and came straight to my house. My aunt and I were the only ones at home, and she knocked on my door for a long time but couldn't get it open, so she had to go find my aunt and got the key to my bedroom from her.
When Shen Xiaoyu opened my door, I was curled up in the quilt.
Shen Xiaoyu lifted my quilt and wanted to say something, but no words came out for a long time.
I glanced at her with half-closed eyes, without even opening them completely, and whispered in a heavy nasal voice: "I have a cold and don't want anyone to disturb me."
"Xiaoya, it's me, Shen Xiaoyu, are you okay?" Shen Xiaoyu said softly and carefully. She put her hand on my shoulder and patted it gently.
I opened my eyes and looked at her lazily. After a long while, I whispered, "Xiaoyu, when did you come back? What day is it now? I'm sorry, I didn't go to the airport to pick you up."
Shen Xiaoyu smiled and shook her head, looking at me with concern, opening and closing her mouth, as if she wanted to say something but stopped.
In fact, even if Xiaoyu didn't say it, I knew what she wanted to ask, which was nothing more than the breakup between Ji Chuan and I. As someone who witnessed the love between Ji Chuan and I, I saw the regret in Xiaoyu's eyes. However, I didn't want to hug Xiaoyu and cry in embarrassment, because if I did, I would feel more like a resentful woman.
The word "resentful woman" has absolutely nothing to do with the image I portray myself as!
I smiled nonchalantly, sighed deeply, and said in a light tone: "I'm just heartbroken, don't worry about me. In fact, I now feel that heartbreak is like a cold. No matter how uncomfortable it is, even if the pain of heartbreak can break anyone, just like a cold, there will always be a day to recover."
Shen Xiaoyu held me in her arms with heartache.
"Xiao Yu, don't worry about me too much. I slapped Ji Chuan hard, which can be regarded as revenge."
Although I said it calmly, my heart was in turmoil.
In front of Shen Xiaoyu, my tense emotions suddenly broke through. My nose felt sore and I couldn't help but hug Shen Xiaoyu tightly, burying my head in her chest to hide the tears that were pouring out.
It took a long time for me to calm down.
Xiaoyu smoothed my hair and said with a faint smile: "Xiaoya, look at yourself now. You haven't taken care of yourself in several days, right? Look at your hair, it's a mess. If you go out now, those people who have a crush on you in school will dislike you so much."
"What nonsense are you talking about? There is no one who has a crush on me. Besides, how can I go to school now?" Shen Xiaoyu's humor made me feel a lot more relaxed, and even my tone of voice became a lot lighter.
Seeing that I was in a better mood, Shen Xiaoyu stood up and said, "Xiaoya, do you want some water? I'll pour you some water. Don't you have a cold ? If you have a cold, you should drink more water. Drinking water can make you feel better and forget all the unpleasant things."
"Do you think it's 'love potion'? How can you forget all the unpleasantness by drinking water?" I couldn't help but laugh.
Shen Xiaoyu nodded quickly: "Yes, I'll pour you a cup of 'Forget Love Water', drink it and you will forget all your troubles. Wait a moment, I know where your water is stored."
I nodded, smiled slightly and said, "Okay, I'll listen to you."
Xiaoyu has been to my house many times, and she knows where our things are. After a while, she came in with a cup of hot water and a plate with some cut fruits.
"Xiao Ya, get up and drink some water and eat some fruit. The fruits in your home are quite fresh." Xiao Yu said, and stuffed the plate into my hands.
I couldn't persuade her, so I had to take the plate and hold it in my hands.
Although Xiaoyu kept urging me to eat, I had no appetite at all.
Xiaoyu turned her head and saw the photo of Ji Chuan on the bedside table. She first carefully looked at my bedroom, and seemed to hesitate for a while before slowly asking me, "Xiaoya, there seem to be a lot of things related to Ji Chuan in your room. Do you plan to get rid of them?"
I turned my head to look at the photo of Ji Chuan on the bedside table, then looked at the furnishings in the room. Many of the things here were bought with Ji Chuan, and they were all some tangled and confusing past.
Perhaps, only by clearing away all these things can we truly say goodbye to the past...
"Okay, help me clean up." I nodded and made the final decision with gritted teeth.
Starting with the photos, Shen Xiaoyu and I cleaned up everything in the room that had anything to do with Ji Chuan.
Originally, I thought it was easy to clean up these things. But what I didn't expect was that every time Xiaoyu held something and asked me if I would throw it away, I would start to think about the connection between this thing and Ji Chuan. As a result, I became more and more depressed, and many times, I couldn't stop crying.
It was supposed to take only a short while to pack up, but Shen Xiaoyu and I didn’t finish until four in the afternoon, which took almost two hours.
Xiaoyu found a big cardboard box and we put all the things we wanted to throw away in it, until it was full and there was no room for anything else.
In fact, the things I threw away the most were clothes. Ji Chuan and I bought a lot of clothes together before, and the most of them were couple clothes. I really felt ironic when I threw away these couple clothes. These couple clothes were only worn a few times, and each one was brand new. But before they had a chance to be worn, they had already died in my life.
Xiaoyu pulled me out of the room where I had stayed for a few days.
Although I was still a little confused, when Xiaoyu and I carried the big cardboard box to the open space in the community and lit it with a lighter, I suddenly felt particularly open-minded and as if I was liberated.
Those burned things were like big stones on my back. They turned into ashes and were blown away by the wind. It was like those big stones were taken off my shoulders, which made me feel particularly relieved.
Goodbye, Ji Chuan! Goodbye, my youth!
