Dong Mingyang is back.
No one understands what these six words mean to me.
Many times, I feel that Dong Mingyang is my biological brother, the closest person to me in this world besides my mother and Guan Yue. But he is different from Lin Fang and Guan Yue. Most of my sense of security in life comes from this boy who is only three years older than me.
This time he brought me a lot of gifts.
After leaving the sweet potato noodle shop, I followed him to his residence.
I hadn't been to his place for a long time. When his grandmother saw me, she was so happy that she washed some fruit for me to eat as she used to do. I quickly stopped her and sent her back to her room to continue listening to her radio.
Grandma Dong is his only relative.
When I first met him, I thought he would be like what I saw, with lots of friends and spending all day drinking and partying. But after getting to know him, I realized that he was a fresh refined gangster. Unlike his outside behavior, when he was at home, he was like a friendly neighbor brother. He kept his room clean, cooked for his grandmother, and had a cat named Nian Nian.
He said that only his grandmother and I had sat on his bed every year.
I had my doubts about this, but later on, those doubts disappeared.
His inner self is indeed different from what I see.
Maybe it’s because grandma is old. After I chatted with her about family matters for a while, she fell asleep in the rocking chair.
I got up, picked up the cat, and went back to his bedroom.
Wearing the cat-embroidered socks he bought me from a street stall, I curled up on his little bed, waiting for him to cook and serve the dishes. He was a great cook, and I often laughed at him for not being a chef. He always said seriously like a parent, "Hey, when you go to college, I'll follow you and open a small restaurant near your school."
Later, I really went to college, and he started planning this matter, but there were too many miscellaneous things to do and there was not enough money to go around, so it was delayed.
"The food is here!"
He was wearing the pink apron I bought for him, and like a waiter, he was excitedly putting the food on the table, including my favorite stir-fried lamb with green onions, braised pork elbow, and thousand-layer tofu.
Actually, I couldn’t eat it anymore, but because he made it, I had to eat it anyway.
"Little girl, why have you lost weight?"
As I was wolfing down my food, he looked at me with a frown on his face, "Did that bastard Su Yuan treat you badly again?"
"No, it's fine."
I didn't dare to look up at him, I just ate hard, my cheeks were stretched out, and my words were unclear. It was not until Dong Mingyang put down his chopsticks and came to me, hugged me, and buried my head in his neck that I realized I was crying, and crying hard.
Since I was little, my crying method is different from others. Others cry with sound, and even wail loudly when they cry to the extreme. But I don’t. No matter how hard I cry, there is no sound, but tears just keep falling.
Every time Dong Mingyang saw her, he would say, Su Jingan, you know, my heart breaks every time I see you crying like this.
He whispered all kinds of comforting words in my ears, but to me, most of them went in one ear and out the other.
Maybe I had cried enough, so I asked in a calmer voice, "Am I a bitch?"
After listening to me, Dong Mingyang pushed me away, pinched my shoulders and shook me: "What nonsense are you talking about, what's the point of being cheap or not."
"I didn't like that home, but I had nowhere to go. I lived a life that many people envied, but no one knew that my parents didn't love me at all."
"My mother likes her boyfriend's daughter more than me. Su Yuan only wants me to get close to Qiao Nuo all day long. I don't like him, but I have to do this in order to live a good life. Now I feel like I wear a mask all day long, pretending to be a good girl and pitiful. I am disgusted with myself, do you know?!"
"Jing'an." His voice suddenly became soft and pure, "Don't worry, I will definitely take you away from your current life."
"That Su Yuan, I will definitely give him a hard time."
"I will give you a home and protect you for life. You don't have to live by Su Yuan's face anymore, and you don't have to please those irrelevant people. Give me some time, okay?"
He was so sincere. I looked at him eagerly, and suddenly I started laughing, and my laughter became more and more exaggerated, and tears flowed.
It turns out that these words, "giving you a home and protecting you for a lifetime," actually came from the mouth of someone who has no blood relationship with me.
And what about the parents who gave me life? What about them?
Do you really care about Su Jingan's life or death?
That night, I didn't go back and chose to stay at Dong Mingyang's house.
It’s still the same old routine, I sleep on the bed and he sleeps on the sofa bed.
He was covered with a blanket with Winnie the Pooh printed on it, snoring softly in the cool night. I lay on the pillow, looking at the crescent moon hanging outside the window alone. I haven't had this sense of security for a long time. When I first came to live in his house, I was still a little girl who was afraid of everything and often hungry.
Because I often frown at life, I have learned to bow my head.
Dong Mingyang was the first boy to confess to me. He was the first because I had been attending private girls' schools. The school was full of children from wealthy families, and each of them was like a little princess raised in a honey pot, too precious to be touched. After leaving there, I realized what it meant to be born and raised in a rough way.
Actually, I don't know what he means by "like". Maybe I am cold-hearted by nature. I still don't really understand what it means to like someone. So, after his long confession, I just asked him cautiously with a twinkling eye, "Can you take me home?"
I will never forget his stunned expression as if his jaw dropped.
He didn't know that I really couldn't stand the power and water outage at home that day.
I need a warm place to take a shower and sleep.
Of course he did nothing that night, just gave me a place to rest. It was also from that time that I knew he was an orphan. His parents died when he was very young, and he lived with his elderly grandmother. His grandmother was in poor health, so he had to take care of all the trivial matters of life by himself.
Maybe it is because of this that he has grown up to be a steady, capable person who can take on anything. Although he is not very good at speaking and can't say nice things, he is a man of action. Once he promises something, he will definitely do it.
Later I thought, this is probably why I could be so close to him.
He is like a belated towering tree in my life, protecting me from wind and rain and making me happy and worry-free. But I am sorry to say that I don't like him.
I treat him as a family member, and he understands this very clearly.
Fortunately, he has never been a person who likes to force others. So along the way, thanks to him, I have not had such a hard time.
Thank you, Dong Mingyang.
I whispered in his ear and tucked his blanket in again.
The next morning, I showed up at school in high spirits.
Guan Yue expressed disbelief at this.
Before the bell for the elective class rang, she was putting on makeup and blinking as she asked, "Su Jing'an, did you go on a date last night? Why do you look so happy?"
I rolled my eyes at her and was about to speak, but was drowned out by the exclamations from the classroom.
When I looked up, I saw Qiao Nuo, wearing a white shirt and dark grey pants, walking in leisurely with a few books under his arms.
I couldn't help but follow him with my eyes until he came to me.
"Is there anyone next to you?" he asked me with a smile, which caused the surrounding girls to scream.
“No, no.”
I shook my head violently, and then began to feel depressed about my own stupidity. This feeling was no less than the feeling of a fox spirit who had practiced for a thousand years being beaten back to human form by the Buddha.
Just as I was thinking about how to save my face, Qiao Nuo had already sat over very naturally. Sometimes you have to admit that some people are born with different temperaments.
Many times I rejected Qiao Nuo, not because I hated him, but because he was too smart and wise. I was afraid that my ability to fool evildoers would not escape his eyes.
Today, he still carries the scent of that bottle of perfume, which blends well with his clean temperament, making people feel like spring breeze.
When the bell rang, everyone opened their books in an orderly manner, but I was already nervous and daydreaming. Sure enough, as soon as the teacher walked up to the podium and started to teach, he asked me softly, "Are you feeling better?"
"Oh, much better." I smiled awkwardly, but Guan Yue came over and asked, "Hey, are you sick? I saw you were full of energy yesterday!"
I rolled my eyes in my heart and pinched this stupid teammate hard. She held back her scream and shut up.
"That's good." Qiao Nuo retracted his gaze and began to listen to the teacher attentively. But my heart began to beat fast.
He is always unfathomable. I can never guess what he is thinking. Maybe he already knows that I lied yesterday.
With this bad premonition, I sat upright and listened to the class in a trance. And Qiao Nuo didn't say another word.
When the bell rang, I heaved a sigh of relief. After all, according to Qiao Nuo's style, he should continue to be elusive and busy with his own business.
But things seem to be developing in a direction that I can't predict.
Qiao Nuo picked up the book, stood up, took the backpack from my desk, and said in an imperative tone: "Let's go, I'll take you to the movies."
Guan Yue raised her triple-folded double eyelids, her eyes widened like light bulbs, looked at me, then looked at Qiao Nuo, then she pushed me hard, "What are you standing there for? Go!"
With Guan Yue's encouragement, I didn't seem so guilty about my first date alone with Qiao Nuo.
Is this a date? I guess.
I pondered it over and over in my mind, and finally left the school side by side with Qiao Nuo, despite the surprised looks of people from all walks of life in the school.
At this moment, I finally understood why Guan Yue gave me a thumbs up after she knew that I had confessed my love to Qiao Nuo. Although Qiao Nuo is a popular lover, there is only one person who dares to pursue him like I did.
Speaking of which, I was young and energetic at that time, and I dared to do anything to have a better life.
At that time, I took advantage of the fact that I shared a dormitory with the school announcer and ran to the school broadcasting studio. While Qiao Nuo was still at school, I made a big announcement:
Qiao Nuo, from Class 3, Year 1, Department of Finance, please come to the studio.
You know, when the principal of this school met Qiao Nuo, he had to ask about his well-being and show some courtesy to him. My behavior was undoubtedly as arrogant as it could be.
Later, Qiao Nuo told me that it was my behavior that caught his attention. In Guan Yue's words, this was a unique and unique girl who foolishly handed love letters to Qiao Nuo.
Weird or not, Su Yuan promised me that as long as I could talk to Qiao Nuo, he would give me some pocket money every month. And the amount of that pocket money was several times what I earned working in the gift shop.
I need money.
Only if I save enough money, I won't be afraid of those days of poverty, because I will leave this hellhole one day.
As expected, Qiao Nuo was called to the studio by me. That was the first time I met him face to face. Before that, I had always been secretly sizing him up. He was really good-looking, completely different from Dong Mingyang. Dong Mingyang's appearance was more down-to-earth, while Qiao Nuo was born with an extraordinary appearance.
Long eyebrows, narrow eyes, a high nose, fair skin that girls can't help but envy, and bones that seem to have been carefully carved by God . You can't tell what's good about him, but you will sigh at his good looks at the first sight. Maybe he is not a mortal, plus his unique and clear temperament, which makes many girls who admire him stay away. Only a shameless person like me would go to such lengths to pursue him.
The first thing he said to me was, "You looking for me?"
I didn't answer or think, I just pulled his arm and rushed out of the studio. There were many people passing by, all looking at me holding Qiao Nuo with surprise. I didn't care about that, I just kept speeding up, and he followed me, and didn't even try to break free.
Later, I took him to the club's practice room and showed him the cartoon I drew for him on the big blackboard and the childish confession.
He just stood there, his hands in his pockets, examining the six words "Qiono, I like you" with a half-smile.
After looking for a while, he turned around and asked, "What's your name?"
It was a long time later that I realized that the result of my confession was the most optimistic among all those who confessed to him. I was not rejected coldly or ignored without leaving face. On the contrary, he asked my name and remembered me very much. According to my initial thoughts, I didn't really need to be his girlfriend, I just needed to become good friends with him. But now it seems that things are developing in an uncontrollable direction.
I thought when Qiao Nuo said he would take me to the movies, he just meant the latest movies.
But in the end, he took me to the private cinema cafe famous for its petty bourgeoisie to watch my favorite movie -
"love letter".
"Don't you dislike watching this kind of movie?" I was surprised because I had told him before that I wanted to watch this movie with him. Actually, I just said it casually, but he really took it seriously and brought me here.
I am a very vulgar person and I don’t understand what love is.
Qiao Nuo smiled at me, then patted the seat next to him, motioning me to sit down. After the waiter prepared all the refreshments, he turned off the lights in the private room.
Instantly, I became nervous. What I didn't know was what I was nervous about. Ever since he came to class today, sat next to me, and took me out after class, my nervousness has been dripping like a faucet that has not been tightened.
"Since the male protagonist likes Fujii Itsuki, why doesn't he tell her?" He sighed, "Wouldn't it be a bit unfair to Hiroko?"
"People who are trapped in unrequited love probably lack courage." I responded, "It's not unfair. On the contrary, I think he loves Hiroko."
At this moment, Qiao Nuo turned his head to look at me and asked with a smile , "Why?"
"Hiroko and Fujii Itsuki have very different personalities. If the male protagonist decides to marry her just because of her face, it would be too superficial. And if he really loves Fujii Itsuki, why doesn't he go back to find her?" I started talking somewhat unconvinced, but found that under the light reflected from the screen, the smile on his face deepened.
It was a different kind of smile, hiding tenderness and concentration.
I don't know why, but I suddenly felt like someone hit me hard on the heart.
A literary girl once said that Qiao Nuo looked so good when he smiled, warmer than the spring breeze and more intoxicating than peach blossoms. At first I scoffed and didn't take it seriously, until I really saw him smile like this.
As a science student, I naturally couldn't say such flowery words. I just turned my head away subconsciously, hoping that I wouldn't be childishly flustered.
"What's wrong with you? Are you feeling unwell?" He approached me with concern, and I subconsciously moved away.
“It’s okay,” I shook my head, but a surge of heat rushed up in my head. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, I actually laughed and asked, “You are so nice to me, I thought you would accept me, haha!”
After saying that, I fell into awkward silence.
For the first time in my life, I realized that I, Su Jing'an, could not control myself. The atmosphere suddenly dropped to freezing point. I had no idea where the movie was playing. I just wanted to find a hole to crawl into. At this moment, I had too many questions in my mind. I should have said this without blushing or beating my heart. I didn't understand why I became so restless.
Qiao Nuo saw my uneasiness and embarrassment, reached out his hand and pulled me back: "Watch the movie carefully." Yes, he was right, watch the movie carefully.
I changed my sitting posture and turned my gaze back to the big screen.
I let out a long sigh of relief, and I discovered a fact. It turns out that I am not as decisive and brilliant as I imagined, nor am I as able to see through everything and remain calm in the face of adversity as I thought. I forgot that I was only eighteen years old, and I forgot that I was still a girl who had not taken many detours and was still stumbling.
When we came out of the cafe, it was almost time for dinner.
Qiao Nuo had a banquet to attend in the evening, so he offered to take me home early. Perhaps because what happened during the movie was too embarrassing, he and I didn't say much along the way. When we arrived at the door of my house, the sun was setting, and the crimson afterglow dyed the sky red. Qiao Nuo stood straight in front of me, and the evening breeze gently blew his collar.
"Go home and eat well. You're too thin." He patted my head. "Today's movie was great. I liked it very much."
"Me too." My voice suddenly became hoarse, "Well, I'll go back first."
"Okay." He nodded with a smile.
However, just as I turned and walked away, he suddenly called my name from behind. I turned around and looked at him curiously with my brows furrowed not far away. I just stared at him, waiting for him to speak, but after waiting for a long time, he didn't speak.
Finally, he waved his hand and motioned me to go back .
"Be careful on the road!" I shouted to him in a clear voice like a pioneer. He suddenly smiled happily, nodded, and finally turned around and got on the car.
I watched the car driving away until it slowly disappeared along the horizon, and I still couldn't come back to my senses for a long time.
What is he going to say to me?
Or is this all my illusion?