Early the next morning, I woke up to Chen Pei's exaggerated scream.
Needless to say, she, with her extremely sensitive sense of smell, must have smelled the smell of me smoking and burning photos last night. There is a small balcony in my bedroom, which is my secret base. When it is late at night, I occasionally go there to do things that I would not do normally.
Sometimes I smoke a cigarette, sometimes I drink a bottle of wine, sometimes I destroy something.
This is a little secret and bad habit left over from my adolescence. It came to an abrupt end when I was kicked out of home at the age of fifteen, but it revived after I returned here.
Although Chen Pei is full of worldly air, she particularly dislikes the smell of cigarettes due to a problem with her nose. Because of this problem, she has troubled me in front of Su Yuan more than once, and every time I apologized obediently and acted more carefully.
I'm not addicted to smoking or drinking, I'm just more keen on making her unhappy.
For example, yesterday.
I burned all the photos of Su Yuan and I when we were little, and then smoked a cigarette as an exception. The smell of burning and smoke was indeed a bit strong, but I was too lazy to get rid of it, so I fell asleep with the quilt covering my head. I was not surprised at all when Chen Pei rushed in and rudely pulled off my quilt and yelled at me.
The not-so-early sunlight was a little dazzling. I leaned against the head of the bed, looked at her lazily, and yawned.
"Your true nature is exposed, right? Just because of Qiao Nuo, you don't have to pretend to be a little white rabbit, right?!"
"Su Jing'an, I'm telling you, this home is not yours, it belongs to the child in my future belly, don't be so arrogant!"
She blushed and looked ridiculous.
The nanny kept trying to persuade her, but she kept on babbling like a bullet. I was too lazy to argue with her, so I got up and put on my clothes. I have a bad habit of not listening to anything I want to hear, and it always goes in one ear and out the other. So when she finally got tired of scolding me and stood in front of me panting, I just glanced at her indifferently.
"Infertility is a difficult disease to cure. I hope you can get what you want one day," I said.
"Su Jingan!" She was so angry that her eyes turned red.
Just as she was frantically searching my room for something she could use to hit me, I picked up my canvas bag and strode out.
When I get into trouble, my first reaction is to run away. This is my basic principle of survival. So I almost never wear skirts, which makes it easier to escape.
When I left home, I couldn't help but call Guan Yue and tell her about my heroic deeds. Guan Yue laughed so hard that she fell backwards. I touched my empty belly and was about to say that I wanted to go to her place for a meal, but she rejected me with just one sentence.
"Let's not talk about it for now. Guan Xia came to see me today! Honey, I'll call you later. If he knew that I went to the bar again last night, I'd be dead!"
After I finished speaking, all I got in response was a busy tone.
I put the hood of my hoodie back on with frustration.
Guan Yue has her own apartment in the city center. I often go to her place when I have nothing to do, but when there is something going on, it is usually Guan Xia who goes there. In Guan Yue's words, Guan Xia and I are the two ancestors in her life. If the two ancestors meet, it will be like Mars hitting the Earth. So as I said, if we can avoid meeting each other, we will not meet each other.
After thinking it over, I decided to go home to see my mother, even though that place is not my home at all. But I just missed her suddenly. Every time I quarreled with Chen Pei here, I would miss her especially.
Her residence is quite far from here. I walked for a long time before I got to the bus stop and waited for the bus that goes directly to her place. I don't go there often because I don't like to see those two troublemakers. One of them is Ai Qing, who always calls me sister. She is the daughter of my mother's cohabiting boyfriend. She is one year younger than me and goes to a second-rate vocational high school. Her father is Ai He, who is a bartender in a shabby bar. He is very old and has never done a serious job. Many times I think my mother was bewitched to be with him.
But I know I can't underestimate this man. After all, my mother has had several boyfriends, but none of them could tolerate my mother and make her obey him.
Thinking of this, I began to feel sorry for my mother again. She is a fool and is easy to be fooled. This father and daughter are very smart. I am really afraid that she will be sold one day. In fact, a large part of the conflict between Chen Pei and me also comes from my mother. I am a Taurus who likes to keep money and pays great attention to money. I have been poor for too many days and have many thoughts.
After Su Yuan took me back, he didn't treat me badly materially, but he didn't know that I secretly saved the money and gave it to my mother to spend.
Chen Pei discovered this by accident and thought that Su Yuan was still concerned about my mother, so she made a mess of the house during that period and became increasingly disgusted with me.
But I don't care.
As a person who is full of drama, who has been struggling in the shantytowns at the bottom of the city for three years and is just short of competing with beggars, I don't think I can beat her. But Su Yuan especially listens to her, so he greatly reduced my pocket money.
Later, I found out that my mother would give part of the money to Ai Qinghua.
She treated Ai Qing even better than I did. I was very discouraged and didn't visit her for a long time. This time was the first time in a long time.
In fact, I was very nervous.
Although I was born after ten months of pregnancy, she is the kind of person who will rush to anyone who treats her well without knowing whether it is true or not, and is easily brainwashed by Ai Qing. Maybe if I don't go to see her again, she will think Ai Qing is her biological daughter. Thinking of this, I felt a little heavy, and when I got off the bus, I bought some of her favorite fruits at the fruit store.
I know I don't really want to eat and drink for free.
I am just lonely, I need a hot meal cooked by someone else, and someone who is willing to talk to me sincerely. But I am so unwilling to admit this to anyone.
I realized this so clearly when I saw Lin Fang chasing Ai Qing out of the house and smilingly stuffing a large bag of snacks into the fake LV bag.
Lin Fang is my mother, a dodder-like mother.
My arms felt heavy carrying the not-so-light fruits, and I subconsciously put the hood of my hoodie on my head so that she wouldn't be able to recognize me from a distance when she came to her senses.
But after I did this, I burst out laughing again, because she didn't even look back at me, but turned around and went home in a hurry.
That was their little home, a one-story bungalow with lush green leaves and branches entwined on the dark red bricks. The house was surrounded by a small courtyard, the door of which was originally made of silver stainless steel, but was later painted black for a more attractive look.
There were traces of me in that place, but later people moved in and wiped out all traces of my existence. Perhaps, I am the only one who is redundant.
I took a few steps forward and saw Lin Fang had already entered the house. Through the dim window, I saw her smiling and talking to the man in an apron cooking for her. The smell of the food was really tempting, and Lin Fang had a satisfied smile on her face. My stomach started to growl at this moment, but I didn't go up to ring the doorbell in the end.
After hanging the fruit on the gate, I took off my hat, chose a fairly casual posture, and turned to leave.
It’s no big deal. Eat when you’re hungry and drink water when you’re thirsty. The world is that simple.
But why are my eyes wet, as if it had rained?
After walking around the downtown area for a while, I finally found a sweet potato noodle shop that was open, where I could sit down and eat in peace. The owner was very nice, and the first thing he said when he saw my familiar face was: "Xiao Su, come back to see your mother!"
I didn't expect him to recognize me right away. After all, I had grown my hair long and was no longer the tomboy I once was. I wasn't very good at pretending, so I felt a little embarrassed for a moment and just smiled and nodded.
"Yeah yeah."
"It's good to come back often. Your mother probably misses you a lot, too."
The boss knew a lot about the neighborhood, so he also knew that I had returned to a wealthy life. The sweet potato vermicelli was served quickly, and I added a handful of chili peppers, stirred it, and ate it with big mouthfuls.
This taro noodle shop is one of the places I remember most vividly during my three years here. At that time, Lin Fang left me exactly one week's worth of food money and went on a long trip.
All my survival resources depended on that little money, but I lost it. I couldn't contact After eating the instant noodles at home, I was hungry for two or three days.
It was at that time that I met my first handsome friend. It was also the first time in my life that I knew that being good-looking could help you make a living.
His name is Dong Mingyang, three years older than me. It is said that he is very famous in this area and everyone gives him face.
When I finished eating and found that I didn't have enough money to pay, he appeared out of nowhere and generously stuffed the money into the clerk's hand, so I was not embarrassed.
It was a cold, rainy day. He was wearing a clean leather jacket and a neat crew cut. He moved a stool and sat in front of me with an expressionless face.
It's impossible to say I wasn't embarrassed. I had just experienced a huge change in my life. It's not an exaggeration to say that I was as timid as a mouse. He stared at me straight, and after a long while he spoke, "You look like a clean girl, you don't look like a beggar, but how come you are hungrier than a beggar?"
In fact, he was just joking when he said this, but I, who regarded my self-esteem as a god, burst into tears. For so many days, hunger, fear, loneliness, and sadness were like a jack pressing on my young heart. His words were like a key that opened up all my negative emotions and let them flow out like a flood.
He was a man and he panicked immediately. Later I found out that he was afraid of girls crying, and he was most afraid of me crying.
He said that it was at that time that he came up with the idea of ​​protecting me.
The reason why he came to help me pay was because I was pretty. Seeing that I was crying more and more, he apologized, but it was useless. After I cried enough, I said to him calmly:
"I want to eat more."
That day, he ate three bowls of sweet potato noodles with me.
Of course, I ate most of these three bowls. He asked a lot about me, and I also knew that he was very famous in school. I should be afraid of him, but for some reason, he gave me a sense of security. It seemed that what he said was true, with him around, I could do anything.
I haven't seen him for a long time. He went out of town recently. Most of the time, we contacted each other by phone. I'm not worried about him. He has his own abilities. I won't ask too much about his affairs. As long as he doesn't fight or do bad things, it's fine.
I was eating potato vermicelli and fiddling with my phone, wondering whether I should say hello to him, when a call suddenly came in. For a moment, I was actually a little flustered.
It's Jono.
This guy is really amazing, so amazing that even when I see his name, I get nervous. After hesitating for a few seconds, I still picked up the phone reluctantly.
After a few seconds of silence, Jono chuckled and spoke.
"Would you like to come out for lunch? I don't eat fish."
I looked at the half-eaten potato vermicelli, and a trace of uneasiness began to grow in my heart, and this uneasiness made me annoyed. I was not as excited as I thought. Maybe I didn't even have the basic goodwill to be friends with him. Maybe, because he was someone I had to please, I had a different kind of resistance in my heart.
"I didn't expect you to call me." I deliberately pinched my throat, hoping to be like a girl in love. Unfortunately, I still felt a little uncomfortable picking up the girl's shyness that I had lost many years ago.
"What do you want to eat?" he asked me directly.
"Uh... I'm feeling a little uncomfortable today, so I'm resting at home. I really don't have the energy to go out." Without blinking, I started to lie casually, "But I'm very happy that you can call me!"
"Oh, I see."
His tone was calm as usual, but my heart was beating like a drum. However, before I could think of how to respond, he said, "Then you should have a good rest. I'll see you next time."
"Okay, next time for sure."
After hanging up the phone, I let out a long sigh and suddenly I had no appetite at all.
I leaned back in my chair, staring blankly at the sky outside, which gradually turned gray, and the clouds slowly thickened. I stretched my hand out of the window, and outside, I didn't know when it started to rain. I was in a daze, with a lot of confusion in my mind.
Maybe I'm really sick.
"Boss, give me a bowl of sweet potato vermicelli, more spicy and less vinegar."
Just then, several middle-aged men walked in one after another, and the last one to come in was a boy wearing a black leather jacket, neat short hair, and a baseball cap.
These people immediately diverted my languishing attention.
The last boy met my gaze, strode towards me, pulled the stool casually, took off his baseball cap, and sat in front of me with great momentum.
The corners of my mouth couldn't help but rise, and I looked at him feeling a little aggrieved and a little sad.
"Long time no see, little girl."
He stretched out his long arms and rubbed my head.
Looking at his familiar features, I suddenly felt a kind of hypocritical sadness.
Human beings are truly amazing creatures. They can become enemies with their closest relatives, but they can also be connected by blood with a person who has no blood relationship with them.
"Long time no see, Dong Mingyang."ng."