Tuesday, July 17th, sunny
An inadvertent word,
A simple action,
Even the most ordinary breath,
It always reminds me of you.
Ten days after you left again,
I learned to smile hard.
To hide my heart,
That's about to swallow my thoughts.

The dawn comes early in summer. When I opened my eyes and looked at the blue, almost transparent sky outside the window, my depressed heart became a little relieved.
Xu Yi, it's dawn over here, and the sky is as soft as your eyes. How about over there?
As I was thinking, a knock on the door interrupted my thoughts.
It must be Che Ye. This guy appears in front of me on time every day now.
As soon as I opened the door, a familiar figure appeared before my eyes.
"Chen?" I threw myself into his arms in surprise. "When did you come back? Why didn't you tell me in advance so I could pick you up?"
"Haha, because I wanted to give Xiaya a surprise!" Chen rubbed my hair lovingly and smiled gently, "Have you forgotten me now that you have a friend like Cheye?"
"I don't have any!"
"Haha, okay, go change your clothes. I've prepared a lot of your favorite dishes!"
"It's amazing!" I cheered and rushed into the room and changed my clothes immediately. I haven't eaten anything cooked by Chen for a long time. When I thought about the dishes cooked by Chen, my mouth was watering!
As soon as I walked to the door, Chen took out his cell phone, looked at me and said, "Ask Cheye to come to my house together. Haha, I haven't seen him for a long time!"
"Yeah." I smiled at Chen and dialed Cheye's number.
"Cheye, haha, Chen is back. Let's go to his house for dinner together!"
"Chen?" Cheye's tone sounded a little strange.
"Well, just go to Chen's house directly."
I was just about to hang up the phone when Cheye's voice rang again.
“Xia, I…I forgot how to get to Chen’s house.”
"Is that so? Well, come to my house and we'll wait for you downstairs."
Strange! How could Cheye not remember where Chen lived?
When he went to Chen’s house before, he always said that he liked the community where Chen lived!
"Xia, what's wrong?" Chen's gentle voice interrupted my thoughts, "From your appearance, your mood has improved a lot. Xia is the most beautiful when she smiles like this!"
Well?
Now... have I really accepted the fact that Xu Yi has completely walked out of my world?
I shook my head to dispel the sadness that suddenly welled up in my heart.
I turned and smiled at Chen: "Chen, I will be very happy. This is also someone's wish!"
Chen was silent for a few seconds, then smiled and scratched my nose: "As long as Xiya is happy!"
Fifteen minutes later.
Cheye appeared in the sight of Chen and me.
"Cheye, how are you? Are you okay?" Chen saw Cheye in front of him and patted his shoulder gently. "You don't know how sad Xiya was when she heard the news that you were in a car accident."
"How could I?" I retorted to Chen anxiously.
"Hello, Chen!" Although Cheye had a smile on his face, his tone was very polite.
Chen and I both looked at Cheye strangely. It wasn't the first time we met, so why did Cheye seem so polite?
As soon as I arrived at Chen's house, I immediately went into the kitchen.
"Chen, let me help you!"
"No need, go out and accompany Cheye!" Chen hurriedly pushed me out of the kitchen.
"No, let me help you beat the eggs!" I shamelessly stayed away, and when I saw the eggs in the kitchen, I finally found a place where I could use my skills.
“Pah—”
My hand shook and the egg fell to the ground...
"What are you silently reciting?"
"I am chanting the Great Compassion Mantra to pray for the souls of these eggs."
"Yeshiya!"
"What are you going to cook next?"
"Fried egg, why are you asking this?"
"It's better to figure it out so I don't pick the wrong dish later."
"Ye Xiya..."
I clenched my fist and hit my head. What was going on? What was going on? Why did the memories of Xu Yi always pop into my mind from time to time?
"Idiot, you can't even hold the egg!" Che Ye's voice suddenly came from behind. He picked up the egg and cracked it skillfully. The yolk and egg white instantly slid into the bowl.
"I can cook, don't look down on me!" I said unconvinced.
"You must be kidding! If you cook, you will definitely burn down the whole kitchen!" Che Ye teased.
I glared at Cheye angrily: "No, you forgot, I made lunch boxes for you before!"
"Really?" Cheye looked up at me, "It tastes terrible anyway."
Seeing me and Cheye bickering, Chen smiled helplessly.
"You go out first. I'll make you my best noodle dish and let you witness my strength!"
My fighting spirit was aroused. I pushed Cheye out of the kitchen, snatched the flour from Chen's hand, and started to get busy.
That’s right, what I want to make is dumplings!
For a long time after Cheye left, I didn't make dumplings again, because I was afraid that seeing dumplings would remind me of Cheye.
Forty minutes later, the lotus seed paste and red bean flavored glutinous rice balls that I had carefully made were finally ready. Looking at the round balls floating in the bowl, the scene of Cheye making glutinous rice balls for me came back to my mind.
"Close your eyes and don't peek! Ye's desserts are here!" I held the glutinous rice balls and placed them in front of Cheye. "Okay, you can open your eyes now!"
"What? It's just dumplings!" Although Cheye's tone was disdainful, his face was filled with a smile, and he couldn't wait to scoop a dumpling into his mouth.
I waited expectantly for his reaction.
Che Ye ate two dumplings in a row before nodding and saying, "Well, it tastes good! But why are there two different flavors, one is red bean, what is the other one?" Che Ye asked curiously.
I looked at Cheye strangely.
"Can't you taste it? You used to like this taste very much!"
Cheye said nothing, but frowned slightly.
"Different fillings have different meanings, so I made two kinds of glutinous rice balls with red bean fillings and lotus paste fillings!" I looked at him as if he were an alien. "You taught me all this. When I was unhappy in the past, you..."
The smile on Cheye's lips gradually disappeared, and a lonely look suddenly appeared on his face: "I'm sorry, Xiya, there are some things I really can't remember clearly."
"Um... I..." I looked at Cheye with a guilty look on my face, "It's all my fault. I caused you to have a car accident, so you must have some sequelae. Haha, it doesn't matter if you can't remember the past, because people always have to look forward, right?"
Looking at Che Ye in front of me, every angle is exactly the same as I remember, but why is it that as soon as I get closer, the familiar feeling disappears completely?
Is it because my heart can only accommodate Xu Yi?

Friday, August 3, sunny
No matter how hard I try,
Nothing can drive you away from my heart.
tell me,
What do you want?
Can I stop missing you?
What do you want?
How to avoid falling into the trap of memories?

Before we knew it, the days had slipped away.
Ever since that day when we had dinner at Chen's house, there has always been an indescribable strange atmosphere between Cheye and me.
I couldn't tell what was wrong.
But I received a call from him early this morning, asking me to meet him at the street corner at 7 o'clock in the evening.
This guy, who told me on the phone not to be late, is nowhere to be seen. I stood at the street corner and kept looking around while thinking.
The streets are full of sweet couples, and many shops have pink balloons hanging in front of them. How strange, is today a special day?
Just as I was thinking this, a tall figure appeared in my sight, and I ran over quickly: "Cheye, you are late again today!"
"Being late is the exclusive right of handsome guys!"
Well?
You are becoming more and more vain!
"What day is it today? Why is it so lively?" I couldn't help but sigh as I looked at the bustling crowds on the street.
As soon as I finished speaking, I got hit on the forehead.
"Stupid, today is Chinese Valentine's Day! It's the traditional Chinese Valentine's Day!"
Chinese traditional Valentine's Day!
Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day...
My nose suddenly felt sore, and the scene of Xu Yi and I giving each other recorders on Valentine's Day came to my mind. My heart felt like cotton wool soaked with water, becoming damp.
"Xia, today is Valentine's Day, you are not allowed to think about unhappy things!" Cheye seemed to notice the change in my mood and said in a commanding tone.
"I know!" I looked at the lively crowd around me and tried hard to drive away the dark clouds in my heart.
I came back to my senses and found that Cheye had brought me to the street where we walked on last year's Chinese Valentine's Day.
Time really flies!
The person who spent Chinese Valentine's Day with me was still the same person as last year, but everything has changed...
After walking a few steps, I was attracted by a small stall.
In a huge shallow glass fish tank , many beautiful goldfish are swimming happily.
There are silvery white, sparkling agate eyes, there are round grape-like bodies, and there are many different varieties of butterfly-tailed dragon crystals...
"Are you laughing at me?"
"Absolutely not."
"So what did you just mean?"
"You look like a goldfish."
Thinking of the time when Cheye gave me that pair of black butterfly tails, I couldn't help but laugh.
"Idiot, what are you laughing at?"
"No, nothing!" I stuck out my tongue and pointed at the goldfish in the fish tank towards Cheye.
"Boss, how much are the goldfish?" Cheye looked at me staring at the goldfish with shining eyes, and then asked the boss.
"Handsome guy, these goldfish are not for sale. But as long as you catch them with my special fish net, I can give them to you for free. However, the fish net is one dollar each!" The boss replied with a smile.
I was immediately intrigued by the boss's words, so I took the fishing net from him and attacked the agate eye.
The silvery-white agate eyes match perfectly with the black butterfly tail!
The agate eye is getting closer and closer!
I tried hard to scoop it up, and the result was -
The fishing net is broken!
What a pity, just a little bit short!
Reluctantly, I picked up another fishing net, but still failed!
Another one, but still failed!
"Boss, your fishing net can't catch any fish at all!" I said in annoyance.
"This fishing net is made of glutinous rice paper, which is thin and soft, but as long as you master the skills, you will succeed!" The boss answered patiently and then smiled at me.
"Idiot, it's obviously you who is too stupid!" Che Ye signaled me with his eyes to look at the couple next to us. They had already harvested two Butterfly Tail Dragon Crystals and walked away contentedly!
"You're not stupid, then come on!" I picked up the new fishing net and handed it to Cheye.
Humph, I'll let you laugh at me!
Cheye took the fishing net, gently put it into the water, and slowly attacked the agate eye that I liked.
He approached calmly, and Agate Eyes seemed to sense danger, swishing its tail and trying to escape.
"Hurry, hurry! It's swimming away!"
"Shut up, idiot!"
He patiently followed the agate eye with a fishing net, going back and forth around the fish tank several times, but he didn't take any action.
I was extremely anxious as I was watching from the side.
There was a look of appreciation in the boss's eyes.
Agate Eye slowed down, perhaps because it relaxed its vigilance or perhaps because it was tired of swimming.
Cheye scooped up the fishing net and stretched it along the wall of the fish tank, and the agate eye lay in the fragile fishing net.
I looked at him in amazement!
He raised the fishing net ostentatiously, smiling like a dazzling rose.
"What's so great about that! You caught it because I consumed so much of its energy before!" I said stubbornly.
I carefully took the fish tank handed to me by the boss. It seemed that Agate Eye was unable to adapt to its new home and swam around restlessly.
"I'll call you Xiaobai from now on!" I said to it.
"You're really an idiot. You can only come up with such a vulgar name!" Cheye started to mock me again.
"Don't listen to your brother, the name your sister gave you is the best!"
The corner of Cheye's mouth twitched.
"Ye Xiya, you are an idiot and a fool!"
"Humph! You are Xiaobai's brother, you are the idiot!"
I hugged Xiaobai and smiled: "Xiaobai, I will introduce Dahei and Xiaohei to you when we get home. You two will definitely become good friends." I said happily.
"What are Big Black and Little Black?" Cheye asked puzzledly.
"These are the pair of black butterfly tails you gave me on Valentine's Day last year. I named them Big Black and Little Black. Have you forgotten them?"
Cheye said nothing, but a strange look suddenly flashed across his face...
"Ah! Hurry up, here, here!" I saw the Taobao store where I had played a prank on Cheye last year.
After a year, the store has more and more cute little things, including insect-shaped dolls, cartoon keychains that can be enlarged, and colorful pens printed with Doraemon...
When I thought about how Cheye was teased last year, I couldn't help but laugh.
"Ye Xiya, why are you grinning like an idiot today?" Che Ye said dissatisfiedly behind me.
"Cheye, don't you remember? The magic mirror here can show the appearance of the dumbest person in the world." I looked at Cheye teasingly.
"How is that possible?" Cheye looked at me in disbelief, "Ye Xiya, do you really think I'm an idiot?"
I was stunned for a moment. Cheye's expression told me that he obviously didn't remember this happening.
Haha, let’s tease him again…
I repeated my old trick, picked up a small silver mirror, and began to mutter.
"Mirror, mirror, who is the dumbest person in this world?"
Cheye came over and looked at the mirror in my hand: "Ye Xiya, let's see how you explain it."
"Why should I explain? Can't you see that the dumbest person in the world has appeared in the mirror?"
Cheye took the mirror, but only saw his curious face. However, in a short moment, he realized that he had been fooled: "Ye Xiya, you are really childish!"
"Haha! Cheye, you are much dumber than me! I used this to trick you last year and you fell for it. You made the same mistake again this year. Don't call me a fool anymore!"
Cheye's smiling face suddenly froze.
After a few seconds, he exhaled hard, a trace of sadness flashed across his face, and he opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but I waited for a long time, and only heard him utter two words softly: "Idiot."
We continued walking forward, and Cheye suddenly stopped. I looked up and saw that he was attracted by a pair of wishing lanterns.
I took a closer look at the pair of pink wishing lanterns. They were indeed very special because each of them was half a heart, with several thin silk threads wrapped in the middle to form a complete heart.
"This is the Tongxin Wishing Lantern..." the boss introduced enthusiastically.
Before the boss finished introducing the items, Cheye bought the pair of wishing lanterns.
"Idiot, have you finished writing?" Cheye's depressed mood seemed to be dispelled by this pair of cute wishing lanterns.
"So what did you write?" I was fooled by him last year, and I won't be fooled this time!
Just as I was thinking this, Cheye had already handed his wishing lantern to me. I saw a line of words written on the wishing lantern -
I want to be with Xia forever!
An indescribable feeling suddenly welled up in my heart...
While I was in a daze, Cheye had already checked my wishing lantern.
"Why didn't you write?"
"Haha! You've been fooled." I took my wishing lantern and shook it towards Cheye. "You fooled me once, and I'll fool you once too. It's fair!"
"When did I play tricks on you?" Cheye asked doubtfully.
"Last year when we released the wishing lanterns together, I wrote 'together forever', but yours was blank! So I won't write anything this year, so we're even now!"
"The wish you wrote down last year was - to be together forever?" Cheye's tone became strange.
"Yes! Don't you remember? Also, you bought me a ten-year birthday present on Valentine's Day last year. Cheye, after you came back this time, it seemed that you didn't remember a lot of things. It must be the impact of the car accident..." Before I finished my words, I was interrupted by Cheye.
"Xia, I'm sorry, I just remembered that I have something else to do, so I have to leave first."
"Cheye, Cheye..." I picked up the wishing lantern on the ground and wanted to chase him, but his figure quickly disappeared in the crowd.
What happened to Cheye? Did I say something wrong or did I do something wrong?
Why did he suddenly want to leave first?
I stood there and wrote on the wishing lantern with a pen -
I wish Xu Yi’s dream comes true!
Then someone lit the wishing lantern and watched it slowly rise into the dark night sky with my wish.
“Beep…”
Just as I was staring blankly at the wishing lanterns in the sky, the text message alert on my cell phone rang.
Xia, come to my house tomorrow. There will be a big surprise!
I read Cheye's message , and my depressed mood gradually calmed down.
Yeshiya, everything will be fine...
I will definitely...

Saturday, August 4th, sunny
I thought Cheye was back.
I thought Xu Yi went to pursue his dream.
I thought everything was real.
Now I know,
I thought I was wrong.
My opinion is just my own opinion.
I thought it was just a sweet dream.

There is not a trace of sunshine in the sky today. Thick clouds are hanging low, and the noisy sounds of cicadas can be heard outside the window.
I don't know why, but when I woke up early in the morning, my right eyelid kept twitching.
I looked up at the clock on the wall and it was almost half past nine.
After changing my clothes, I hurried out and ran to Cheye's house.
As soon as I entered Cheye's house, I couldn't help but laugh at Cheye's outfit.
He was wearing a very cute pink and blue apron with a big Doraemon printed on the front. There was something white on his nose, and his hands were covered in flour.
"Cheye, you..." I was about to ask Cheye what he was doing when Cheye gave me a big smile.
"Xia, today I want to make up for the gift I gave you yesterday for Chinese Valentine's Day. Haha, I hope you'll like it." Cheye looked at me seriously, a serious expression I had never seen before.
I was stunned. What happened to Cheye?
"Xia, wait for me for half an hour, and you will be able to see the surprise I have for you soon." Cheye pushed me to sit on the sofa in the living room, "Just wait for me here obediently!" After saying that, he turned and went into the kitchen.
Just after sitting down for a few minutes, I wandered around the living room out of boredom, then quietly ran to the kitchen door and listened to the "ding ding dong dong" sound coming from inside.
What is Cheye doing? What is he going to make? Is it the glutinous rice balls he made before?
I gently pushed the door open a crack and peeked into the kitchen. Eh? It didn't look like they were making glutinous rice balls, because there were cake molds of all sizes on the table.
Could it be... Could it be that he is performing the "Blessing of the Sea"?
I moved closer to the crack in the door, and suddenly, a small pink box caught my attention - could it be a ring?
I was startled by the sudden thought that came to my mind.
The ring held by the dolphin in "Blessing of the Sea" is actually a real ring.
Cheye...is he going to give me a ring?
Just as I was guessing wildly, Cheye discovered me.
He put down what he was holding and came over, looking at me seriously: “Stupid Ye Xiya, I now order you to get back on the sofa immediately!”
"But it's so boring sitting there!" I looked at Cheye pitifully.
"Then go to the study room next door to surf the Internet and watch a movie." Che Ye still looked at me seriously, emitting a strong aura.
"Okay." I was so overwhelmed by Cheye's aura that I dared not refute anymore, so I had to walk towards the study obediently.
Sitting in front of the computer, I clicked the pages with the mouse boredly, not knowing what to see.
Could it be that Cheye wants to confess to me again?
But I really don’t want to reject him anymore. Every time I reject him, I feel guilty.
Because the person I like in my heart is Xu Yi, it is impossible for me to accept anyone else.
Because of my random clicking, some pages kept popping up on the computer screen, making it look messy.
Alas, I still don’t know what to watch!
Sitting here alone I can't help but have random thoughts. It would be better to go to the kitchen and peek at Cheye busying around. That would be much more interesting than sitting here.
I moved the mouse and closed the pages one by one. When the mouse arrow moved to the last page, the computer suddenly made a sound.
“Beep…”
The email notification sounded, and "You get a new mail" jumped prominently in the middle of the screen.
New email?
Is it an important email? Should I call Cheye?
Wait! The name "Xu Yi" seemed to flash before my eyes just now. No, I must have seen it wrong. Calm down and take another good look.

From: Xu Yi

These words came into my eyes clearly.
It's not blurry eyes, nor is it an illusion. It's really Xu Yi. Has he always been in contact with Cheye? But why hasn't he contacted me for so long? And Cheye didn't mention it to me either?
All the questions turned into an electric current running through my head. I could no longer control my hands. I only saw the mouse arrow move to "Open" and then my index finger pressed down.

Yuan Cheming:
Are you and Xia okay?
I will have eye surgery in the next few days, and I don't know what fate awaits me. So, please keep your promise and take good care of Xia!
If I really die, Chinatsu will contact Xia on my behalf so that Xia won't be suspicious.
Please protect Xia's happiness for me and Cheye!
Xu Yi

“Pah—”
The light around me seemed to disappear in an instant, and the world became pitch black. Only the computer screen in front of me emitted a faint light. The black words turned into sharp arrows that stabbed at my eyes, causing my eyes to hurt.
Yuan Cheming...surgery...promise...Xu Yi...
My heart was beating violently, and my mind was fuzzy. Why couldn't I understand every word or sentence?
Can someone explain to me what these words mean? What exactly do they mean?
My hand slipped weakly from the mouse, and my body slumped in the chair as if I had lost all my strength, staring straight at the screen, forgetting to blink...
"Dang, dang, dang! Stupid Xia, turn your head and look!"
I didn't react at all and continued to stare at the computer screen motionlessly.
"Hey, idiot, are you deaf?" His voice was getting closer and closer, "What are you looking at..."
"Bang--"
The words he hadn't finished saying disappeared with the sound of an object falling, and a strong scent of cream wafted in the air.
I finally came to my senses and saw a smashed cake at my feet. The different colored creams were all mixed together, and it looked dirty. A ring fell at my feet...
I turned my head and saw that his panicked face was also covered with a lot of cream. The cake he had spent so much effort to make was destroyed before it completed its mission. What does this mean?
"Idiot, listen to my explanation!" His tone was anxious and panicked.
This is the first time I've seen him like this in a long time.
I stood up slowly, looking at the face in front of me that was both familiar and unfamiliar with empty eyes: "Who are you? Who are you? You are not Yuan Cheye at all, right? Right?" My mind was in a mess, and I yelled hysterically at the person in front of me.
"Xia, this matter is very complicated. I don't know how to explain it to you."
"It's complicated. It's complicated that you guys teamed up to lie to me, right?" I couldn't hold back the grievance in my heart any longer, and tears just burst out of my eyes.
"Xia, things are not what you think."
"It's not what I imagined? What's going on? Tell me!" The grievance in my heart finally turned into a crazy shout, and I couldn't control myself anymore. Everything came so suddenly and was so hard to accept. "So, you don't know the ten-year gift, you don't know the meaning of glutinous rice balls, so you have pierced ears and hate dogs! Is that right?"
My heart was gradually overwhelmed by despair. I began to feel short of breath, and the feeling of suffocation gradually spread throughout my body.
"Listen to me..."
"squeak--"
The door suddenly opened and a man walked in from outside. It was Cheye's father.
"Cheming, what's wrong? I heard a noise outside the door!" Cheye's father stood at the door and looked at us with a puzzled look on his face.
"Dad, it's okay..."
Before he finished speaking, I raised my foot and rushed out of the door. Now I didn't know how to stay here any longer.
The word "Che Ming" from Che Ye's father just now once again told me that everyone knows the truth of the matter, and I am the only one who is kept in the dark.
I really am the biggest fool in the world!
"Shia!"
I had completely ignored Yuan Cheming's voice. I couldn't hear anything and didn't want to think about anything. I just kept running forward to escape from this illusory dream!
This world is so scary and full of lies!
Everything in the past was just a gorgeous firework, blooming grandly and brilliantly, and finally disappearing into the wind, leaving nothing behind.