It has been several days since Xu Minyou was taken back home. I still cannot forget how miserable and helpless he was on the street that day. I thought that it would not be very difficult to reenter this world, but I was wrong. That was only for people like us. For people like Xu Minyou, it is really a very painful thing to reenter this world.
It was not easy for him to break out of the cage he had created and face the world.
I went to ask Dr. Jiang what happened to Xu Minyou and why he couldn't get better even though I was by his side. Seeing him in so much pain, I was also very sad. The feeling of powerlessness made me very frustrated I wanted to help him, I wanted to save him, but I couldn't do anything.
Doctor Jiang told me that there was nothing that could be done. All that could be said was that Xu Minyou ’s treatment had almost succeeded, but ultimately failed. He could not bear the pain, so he chose to close his heart again and return to that solid castle.
Xu Minyou must be very lonely. I suddenly regretted not asking him where he lived, so that I could go find him and see if he was okay. He left so suddenly and I couldn't find him anywhere.
I didn't know that just not being able to find him would make me so heartbroken that it would be difficult for me to even breathe.
"Xu Minyou, you're such a liar." I murmured, curling my lips, "You clearly said you would try your best not to forget me."
I went back to my English class, but my mind wandered more and more. I kept thinking of Xu Minyou and was always worried about his condition. I wondered if I was sick, too, because I was so worried about an autistic boy.
"Lu Nanxi!" Song Yan pushed my arm. "What are you doing? I called you several times but you didn't hear me."
"Ah?" I came back to my senses and looked at Song Yan apologetically, "I'm sorry, I really didn't hear it."
His expression was helpless. He said, "Do you want to go back and rest? You look like you can't concentrate in class at all. You have been so absent-minded since Xu Minyou left this school. Even if you like him, you don't have to show it so obviously!"
"I don't like him!" I said calmly, "Song Yan, don't talk nonsense."
I just worry about him and want to see him and make sure he is okay. This is not love. This is definitely not the feeling of liking someone.
I guess I'm just used to protecting him, used to holding his hand when he's out of control and helpless , telling him not to be afraid, that I'm here, right by his side.
This isn't love!
My heart suddenly became confused, and I said, "Song Yan, please don't talk. I want to be alone for a while."
I stood up and ran out of the classroom with my books in my arms - I still skipped class.
How do I feel about Xu Minyou? I sat on the steps outside the dormitory building, looking up at the blue sky. The weather was getting colder, and a white mist floated out with every breath. I guess it was probably a kind of empathy!
He is so much like me, like another me in the world.
The way I like someone is the attribute of a coward. Is it because of this that he can hear my voice?
He likes me, just like I like Song Yan. I know how painful this feeling is. I just have a crush on him but dare not say it out loud. I just don’t want him to be as sad as I am. I feel sorry for myself, so I also feel sorry for Xu Minyou.
It's the real heart that feels the pain.
"Student Lu, skipping classes doesn't make you a good student!" The elusive Dr. Jiang suddenly appeared in front of me and sat down next to me. "Why, shouldn't you feel relieved now that Xu Minyou is gone? You don't have to protect a stranger, and you don't have to skip classes to accompany him. Why do you look so unhappy?"
I glanced at him and thought he was really too long-winded: "He is my friend ."
"Friend? Is it necessary to be so depressed when a friend leaves?" Doctor Jiang obviously didn't believe it. "I said, are you in love with Xu Minyou? I advise you not to do that. He is completely hopeless this time. It was a miracle for him to become a normal person before."
"Who said you have to like someone to miss them? You're really annoying." I really wanted to kick him away. It was rare for me to be quiet, and he was bothering me again. "Don't you think that boys and girls can only like or dislike each other? Can't they be just ordinary friends?"
"It's not impossible, but it's impossible for Xu Minyou and you." Doctor Jiang said directly, "Xu Minyou likes you, the kind of love that wants to pull you into his world, you know? I just heard something."
"What's the matter?" I asked.
"Someone just told me that after Xu Minyou returned, he locked himself back in the same place, but strangely, he went crazy looking for butterflies." He looked at my face with a half-smile, "You are really amazing. He doesn't remember anything, but he still remembers you. I remember he told me that when he first saw you, he thought you were a flying butterfly with a light blue color, which was the only light ."
My heart ached in his phone, the note for my number was “Butterfly”.
"Let's go, someone wants to see you." Dr. Jiang stood up and handed me his hand.
"Who wants to see me?" I ignored his hand and stood up.
"The person who just told me the butterfly story." Doctor Jiang smiled, put his hands in his pockets, and led the way slowly in front.
I finally followed him, and this time, I couldn't suppress my curiosity.
It was an old man, sitting on the sofa, quietly drinking a cup of tea.
Almost at first glance, I guessed the old man's identity. He should be Xu Minyou's grandfather.
"He is Xu Minyou's grandfather."
Sure enough, Dr. Jiang's introduction confirmed my guess. Dr. Jiang pointed at me and said to Xu Minyou's grandfather: "She is Lu Nanxi."
"Hello, Mr. Lu." He smiled at me very kindly, looking nothing like a businessman. He said, "I'm just curious about what kind of person is able to make Xu Minyou walk out of that attic."
"Out of the attic?"
I was a little concerned. Although Dr. Jiang and I had analyzed that Xu Minyou might have come to this city following me, there was no basis for this. Now, after hearing what the old man said, I was finally sure that Dr. Jiang's guess was correct and Xu Minyou did come here because of me.
"He locked himself in an attic, and for years he hadn't thought about going out. But half a year ago, he suddenly wrote me a note, saying he wanted to come here. I was really happy at the time. I didn't even expect his disease to be cured, but it would be good if he could get out of the attic. He stayed in there all by himself, not letting anyone in. He was so lonely, and I couldn't bear to let him go."
When the old man said this, his eyes turned red.
"Unfortunately, after only a few months, he stumbled back like he did back then, and locked himself up again." He paused, and said, "But this time it's different, he seems to still remember you. Although he doesn't remember what you look like or who you are, he must still remember that there is someone who can't be forgotten."
He didn't forget me, he tried hard not to forget me!
"So, if it's not too much trouble, Mr. Lu, would you like to go meet him? Even if it's just to help an old man like me." The old man said, rubbing his eyes with his hand, "I think if it were you, you would definitely be able to help him."
"Where is he?" I asked.
Three hours later, I packed my luggage and went home early for the winter vacation. The winter vacation was not far away, but I could not take the final exam. Xu Minyou's grandfather helped to communicate with the school, and the school agreed to let me use the average of my usual grades as the final score.
Along the way, I guessed countless possibilities, but when I knew where Xu Minyou was, I realized that my guesses were not dramatic enough in the face of reality.
I didn't expect that the attic where Xu Minyou was hiding was actually on the top floor of the residential building where I lived.
The rooftop is a place I like to go very much, because few people go there. Sometimes when I feel too much on my mind, I will go to the rooftop and talk to the air. After a long time, that place becomes a place of sustenance, and I always feel that staying there will calm me down.
But I never imagined that in the corner of the rooftop, in that very inconspicuous attic, there was a young man who locked himself up there from the age of fifteen to nineteen.
He told Dr. Jiang that when he first saw me, I looked like a light blue butterfly. I rummaged through my closet, took out all my clothes, and finally found the light blue skirt. It was a summer skirt, a gift from my mother on my sixteenth birthday.
It's snowing outside. The city I live in is in the north, so it snows easily in winter.
In winter, the room is heated, so you may not feel cold even if you wear this skirt, but with the temperature outside, you will definitely freeze if you wear the skirt.
But it was this skirt that made him notice me in the first place. If I wasn’t wearing this skirt, would he still recognize me?
Finally, I gritted my teeth and put on the skirt. Fortunately, I hadn't gained weight in the past two years, so the skirt could barely fit. I found a thick down jacket to wear outside, said goodbye to my mother, and went to the rooftop.
With every step , I became more anxious. I wanted to see him right away, but I was also a little scared. What if he didn't recognize me? What if I tried everything and he still didn't recognize me? What would I do then?
While I was thinking about all this, I had already reached the stairs. I gritted my teeth, took off my down jacket, and walked up to the rooftop.
There was a thick layer of snow on the rooftop, leaving deep footprints when you stepped on it.
I couldn't take it after just one step. It was too cold. I wanted to turn back, but how could I turn back when I was already here? And when Xu Minyou was in pain, he must have been a thousand times more miserable than I am now.
Thinking of this, I no longer hesitated and walked towards the attic in the corner step by step.
A long trail of footprints led to the young man who had been hiding here and silently watching me for so many years.
I stopped outside the window, bent down, and finally saw him.
He stared at me blankly, with a hint of confusion in his eyes. He stretched out his hand towards me, as if he wanted to grab me. I remembered the way he suddenly pounced on me in the warehouse that day. At that time, I must have been a colorful butterfly in his eyes.
I reached out and knocked on the window and said, "Xu Minyou, open the window."
However, he continued to look at me, as if he had not heard what I said.
I put my hands together and said, "Xu Minyou! Open the window! It's so cold outside, the butterflies are going to freeze to death!"
His eyes suddenly lit up, and then he quickly opened the window, and the warm air in the room rushed in my face. I climbed up to the window and jumped down.
This is an attic of less than 20 square meters. Most of the space inside is filled with books. There is a desk near the window. He usually reads here.
He looked at me motionlessly, as if he was thinking about something. I walked up to him, grabbed his collar, pulled him down, and said, "Xu Minyou, you big liar! You promised that you would never forget me!"
His eyes were anxious, and he seemed to be about to remember something, but in the end he was just anxious, with sweat all over his forehead.
I smiled at him and said, "Xu Minyou, you must remember this time. I am Lu Nanxi . If you forget me again, I will definitely beat you up."
He opened his mouth and finally called out my name: "You are Lu Nanxi."
"Yes, I'm Lu Nanxi."