Chapter 10: Practice of Not Loving five
Time seemed to stand still at that moment. A breeze blew, and the scent of white withered flowers on his body was so faint, and behind us was a sky full of stars.
I sniffed gently, trying to remember his scent and temperature.
After a long while, I heard him say, "Goodbye, Xihe."
I hugged him back tightly, let go, and turned around, but the moment I turned sideways, I was stunned and couldn't move at all.
Under a street lamp not far away, a thin, shaky figure stood in the dim light.
"Xiao Yuan..." I called her in a hoarse voice.
She turned and ran into the darkness, her suppressed sobs faintly heard in the wind. I remembered the look she gave me when she turned and ran away, so helpless and desperate, which reminded me of the snow in the heavy rain that year. I was so anxious that I almost cried: "Hanako Yin, go chase Xiaoyuan."
"Okay." When Hua Ziyin answered this, the person had already chased out.
I was so anxious that I shouted in the direction where he disappeared: "We must find Xiaoyuan. "
His firm voice came out of the darkness immediately. He said, "Xihe, don't worry. No matter what, I won't let the same thing happen twice."
I felt relieved and sighed, but my heart was gradually feeling sad.
I could no longer see his figure in the darkness. I whispered to the darkness, "Goodbye, my love."
As if I had lost my soul, I stood there blankly, unable to come back to my senses for a long time.
Someone patted my shoulder gently and said, "Song Xihe, it's really you. Congratulations, you finally found your Mr. 'Longevity Noodles'."
I looked up and saw the courier who often came to the community to send and receive parcels.
I looked at him blankly. I could understand every word he said, but I didn't understand what he was saying, let alone what he was congratulating me for.
"What did you say?"
"Congratulations , you finally found that boy. He's the guy who always sent you longevity noodles by express on your birthday. Your Mr. 'Longevity Noodles'."
"He... where is he?" Maybe because of the cold, my voice trembled. The meaning of his words was clear, but I didn't want to believe that it was true.
How could Hua Ziyin be my Mr. "Longevity Noodles"?
He must have made a mistake.
However, the truth always comes out cruelly and suddenly. He said: "It's the boy just now. He always comes to me to deliver longevity noodles."
"No..." I shook my head in despair.
How can this be possible? How can this be possible?
The truth that I tried so hard to hide, the truth that I loved him, he had known it a long time ago. It turned out that he had already fallen into such desperate pain.
So, what kind of torture has he been going through these days? But he never mentioned that he was Mr. Longevity Noodles.
I thought I was protecting you, but I didn't know that you were protecting me with everything you had.
"What? You don't know yet? I won't be mistaken , it's that boy. Before, when you asked me what that boy looked like, I couldn't describe it, but now that I've seen him, I'm sure I won't be mistaken. Did you forget that you asked me to bring him notes twice..."
It seemed as if a thin warm current was flowing in my chest. Without waiting for him to finish, I ran towards the direction where Hua Ziyin disappeared.
I'm sorry, Hexue.
I'm sorry, Madoka.
If he is not just Hua Ziyin, he is also my Mr. "Longevity Noodles", if he already knew that I actually deeply loved him as Mr. "Longevity Noodles", if he has also been tortured by "loving each other but not being able to be together" like me, if the lie of "not loving Hua Ziyin" can no longer alleviate his pain in the slightest, then please forgive me, I must tell him in person that I love him, too.
I took off my high heels and ran forward barefoot. The night wind whistled past my ears and tears kept falling.
Now I finally remember what those four sentences were that I said to you. I remember them all.
The third sentence is the note I asked the courier to pass on to you the next time you delivered longevity noodles to me when I received your longevity noodles that year. It said, "Thank you, Mr. 'Longevity Noodles'."
The fourth sentence is the note I asked the courier to pass on to you during my most desperate days after He Xue left: "Mr. 'Longevity Noodles', I think I have fallen in love with you."
right?
And now I finally understand why you haven't been heard from since then.
You were afraid that I would find out that the person you like was the one who killed He Xue, so you chose to make Mr. "Longevity Noodles" disappear forever, right?
Also, in that love letter, the important thing you said you wanted to tell me was that Hua Ziyin was actually Mr. 'Longevity Noodles', right?
Unfortunately, I didn’t go; unfortunately, Hexue left later and you could never say it again.
Also, maybe, the part of Hexue's diary that you tore off actually records that you are Mr. 'Longevity Noodles', right?
You're afraid I'll see you, right?
Although I don’t have the answers to all of this, it doesn’t matter. When I find you, you will slowly tell me, right?
