Chapter 10: Practice of Not Loving
How many times do I have to practice the lie that I don’t love you before I dare to tell you once?
one
I was sick for a long time, but I refused to take a day off. I went to school listlessly every day. My days seemed to be no different: I went to school, ate, went home, and slept. However, occasionally, when Xiaoyuan muttered the name "Hanako Yin" beside me, I suddenly realized that the person had left Binghui School for almost two weeks.
One weekend when I was in a better mood, Xiaoyuan came to see me. She showed me those beautiful writing papers, looked at me expectantly and said, "Hexue, have you ever written a love letter?"
I shook my head and my eyes fell on the tung tree outside the window.
She then asked: "Well, have you ever received a love letter?"
I thought about it and nodded.
There was an undisguised surprise in her beautiful eyes. Even if Xiao Yuan, who really regarded me as a friend, couldn't understand, a girl like me would also receive a love letter. However, that love letter was actually received when I was still Song Xihe.
Probably no one would believe it, but Song Xihe, the school belle, actually only received two love letters.
The first one was written by a lawless little gangster. At that time, I was even more lawless than the gangster. I marked more than 50 mistakes in words and grammar in the love letter while reading it. With a mischievous mentality, I asked my followers to print 500 copies at a copy shop on the street and distributed them around the campus like advertisements. I heard that the usually domineering little gangster became weak after that.
From then on, no boy dared to "go against the wind" anymore, so I was quiet for a long time. Until I met He Xue. It was one afternoon not long after I met He Xue, she came to me mysteriously and stuffed a letter into my desk . I wanted to throw it away, but I was curious about what kind of boy had such fearless courage, so I opened it and took a look...
"What's written in that love letter?" Xiaoyuan asked impatiently, pulling my sleeve.
"I don't remember, I just remember that the writing was good and there were no typos." I squinted my eyes, thinking that I had long forgotten such trivial matters, but a sentence from the letter clearly emerged in my mind.
I was stunned for a while, then mechanically repeated the words: "He said that when the tung trees bloom, he will wait for me at the foot of Qingzhi Mountain."
"So how did you get back?"
"I asked the messenger to tell him that he could go and wait."
"Did you go then?"
I shook my head.
"Of course not, because what I said at that time was, 'He can go and wait, but I will never go.'" I felt ashamed when I thought of my arrogance at that time.
"Ah, you didn't go!"
"Why would you go?" I wondered. "I don't even know who he is."
"No name?" Xiao Yuan was puzzled. "Who would write a love letter without leaving a name?"
She thought for a moment and then said, "What about the handwriting? Can you tell from the handwriting which boy in the school it belongs to?"
I shook my head again. How could Song Xihe at that time waste time checking the handwriting just to find out who wrote the love letter?
Xiaoyuan looked at me dejectedly. "What a shame. I was going to ask you how to write a love letter, but it seems you don't have much experience."
I smiled helplessly. Xiao Yuan left me alone and hid away, biting the tip of a pen and staring at the letter paper. It was obvious that she was writing a letter to Hanako Yin.
There was a breeze blowing outside the window, and a snow-white tung flower on the branch fell with the wind. The sunlight shone on my body through the window glass, but I felt unprecedentedly cold.
