After coming out of the KTV, I didn’t know where to go. I definitely didn’t want to go home, and I didn’t want to step back into the box.
The most important thing is that I know he is following me at this moment.
Lin Chujian, my ex-boyfriend.
My first meeting with Lin Chujian was a very melodramatic beginning: I was walking by the basketball court with a book in my arms, and he threw a ball at me. I looked up, and he was holding the basketball, awkwardly saying sorry. I said don't be embarrassed , if you really feel embarrassed, just treat me to a meal!
This started from the first meal, and later on, we ate every meal together.
I like fried ham with cucumber, but I don’t like cucumbers, so he always puts the cucumbers into his bowl; I like fried meat with onions, but I don’t want to eat onions, so he always puts the onions into his bowl; I like ice cream cones, but I don’t like the peanuts on the cream, so he eats all the peanuts on top and then gives them to me.
I think we are a match made in heaven. He likes everything I don't like to eat. We complement each other and are a perfect match.
What's even more fortunate is that we were not only in the same class, but also in the same debate team. We participated in many competitions together and won many awards. Later, when other schools heard that we were debating together, they wanted to just give up the competition.
I thought that with such a stable relationship between us, we would walk into the marriage hall hand in hand, have a pair of lovely children, be buried together until we die, and never be separated for the rest of our lives.
I even thought of an epitaph for my tombstone, just five simple words: Love until death.
Really, I really think we will love each other until we die.
But it's not death that stops us from loving each other.
Look, there are actually a lot of ridiculous things in life, but I just lack the eyes to discover them.
My father’s extramarital affair and illegitimate child, my mother’s foreign love affair, my acquaintance with Lin Chujian, and Xu Yaxin, who always makes her presence felt between me and Lin Chujian and treats tight dresses as if they were her own skin.
Xu Yaxin likes Lin Chujian, and Lin Chujian likes Li Ge. If this were put in a novel, it would be a love triangle that people would talk about with relish. However, I cannot read it as a novel because I am one of the characters in the love triangle.
In every love triangle in this world, there is always one party that has the upper hand.
In the past, I thought I had an absolute advantage, but later I realized that I had already stood on the edge of a cliff. Every step I took back would cause a stone to fall into the abyss, but I was too naive to notice it.
I think no girl can accept that her boyfriend has such a childhood sweetheart. She is beautiful, charming, knows how to show weakness in front of boys, and knows the true meaning of being a spoiled child. If the person she likes is not my boyfriend, I might admire such a girl. Unfortunately, there is no if. I have only hostility, hostility and 100% hostility towards her.
When Lin Chujian and I were together, she would always make us quarrel and lose her temper for no reason, but Lin Chujian swore to me that she would never like Xu Yaxin and would never have anything to do with her.
Unexpectedly, this summer vacation, he broke his oath and went to work at Xu Yaxin's father's company. The two of them spent every day together, talking and laughing. After seeing them happily and intimately shopping in the mall, I broke up with Lin Chujian.
What surprised was that Lin Chujian didn’t react at all.
I thought that when I proposed breaking up, Lin Chujian would try to keep me as usual, and then we would be back to normal. But I didn't know that I messed up.
This sudden change stunned me and I was depressed for a while.
After knowing that Lin Chujian and I had broken up, Yi Tian often tried to arrange for us to meet, but I always found various excuses to get out of it.
So, at this moment, I don’t know how to face this person behind me whom I haven’t seen for a long time.
"Lei Ge."
When the familiar voice sounded, my nose actually felt a little sore.
This sadness brought back all the thoughts I had about him during the time we broke up.
I miss him putting his hands over my head to block the sun in the summer; I miss his big shirt pockets, when we were walking on the road, he would always hold my hands and put them in his pockets, and put a few of my favorite candies in my palms; I miss the proud look he gave me every time he scored a shot when playing basketball; I miss him putting his hands around my neck when we were bickering, and kissing me on the forehead after forcing me to beg for mercy; I miss the warmth of his embrace on windy and snowy days; I miss him scolding me when he saw me not eating well, like scolding a naughty child...
I think so about him.
But I can't say.
I felt a little aggrieved and stood there.
He walked past me, walked in front of me and turned around. His expression was a little sad, and the colorful lights of the city cast a thin layer of light on him, making him look unreal and beautiful.
"Li Ge, why are you hiding from me?"
"I'm not hiding from you." I turned my head away stubbornly and didn't look into his eyes. I was afraid that the deep affection in his eyes would make me make concessions without any bottom line, and eventually I would have no way to retreat.
"You're not hiding from me, where are you going now?" Lin Chujian reached out and grabbed me when I was trying to sneak away.
"Don't hold me, let go!" I didn't even turn my head and didn't want to look at him at all.
"I won't let go. If I let go, you will run away." Lin Chujian held my hand tighter.
My face flushed and I tried desperately to break free, but I couldn't overcome his strength.
"Li Ge, are you so afraid of seeing me?"
"Are you kidding me? Why would I be afraid of seeing you?"
"Then look at me." Lin Chujian gently stroked my face with his hands.
I finally turned around and looked at him. In his eyes, which I once thought were as bright as stars, there was a sadness that made me feel distressed. So, my eyes were red.
Seeing me like this, Lin Chujian was a little at a loss: "What's wrong?"
I felt a little aggrieved and backed away a little bit: "Stay away from me and go and have fun with your Xu Yaxin..."
When Lin Chujian heard what I said, he was both angry and amused: "Do you know how to use words? What does it mean to be carefree and happy?"
"Why? Is the phrase 'happy and carefree' not a good choice? Then I'll change it to 'I wish you a long and happy life together', is that ok?"
Lin Chujian was somewhat helpless: "Li Ge, how many times do you want me to tell you that I have nothing to do with Xu Yaxin. I don't like her at all. Now, in the past, and in the future, I will never have anything to do with her. I was forced to go to the mall that time by my dad - you know the relationship between my family and hers, I have to give my dad face."
"Come on, why are you trying to act here... Should I give you a Best Actor award too?" I looked at Lin Chujian and thought, compared to my dad, your acting skills are worse.
Before I could say anything, tears started flowing.
"Li Ge, don't cry, it's all my fault, I'm wrong." He hugged me in panic, his tone full of anxiety, "As long as you don't cry, I'll agree to whatever you say, okay?"
"Then I'll tell you, Lin Chujian, we've broken up." I pushed him away and wiped the tears from my face with the back of my hand. "Do you still remember what I said when we broke up? There will never be room for a third person in my emotional world. Even if I like you, I can't accept Xu Yaxin's existence."
"I've said before that there's nothing between Xu Yaxin and me. It's just our parents' wishful thinking. I don't like her and I won't accept this kind of matchmaking. Li Ge, why don't you believe me?"
believe?
I once firmly believed in those who loved me, but all I got in return was one lie after another.
The wounds opened by my parents were still bleeding, and I really didn't have the energy to argue with him anymore.
"I'm very tired, let's talk later!" I turned to leave, but he hugged me from behind and I couldn't get away.
What day is today? I have been the heroine of idol dramas again and again. It seems that the one who has the best chance of winning the award is not them, but me.
"Li Ge, I really love you, really!" His deep and hoarse voice sounded above my head, with undisguised sadness in it.
"Love?" I heard this word too many times today.
I turned around and looked at Lin Chujian, and it was like seeing my parents desperately explaining something to me.
"You all say you love me? But which one of you really does things for me? Just like my parents, they said they loved me, but they cheated on me and divorced secretly. They made me live in lies every day. Is this love? Just like you, you always tell me that there is nothing between you and Xu Yaxin, but what about it? I saw you guys talking and laughing together while shopping in the mall, I saw you guys attending a party organized by my friends, I saw her holding your arm, and you didn't refuse ... Lin Chujian, is this the love you are talking about? Is this the love you want me to see? Then isn't your love a little too hypocritical?"
After hearing what I said, he was stunned.
I broke free from his arms, looked at him, and before I knew it, tears were streaming down my face once again.
I know a lot of people on the street are looking at us like we're a joke, but so what? I'm a joke to begin with. I seem to have seen tomorrow's hot search headlines - a lovelorn girl screaming in the street.
"Li Ge, I'm sorry, I don't know your family...I..."
"Now that you know, Lin Chujian, can you let me go?"
"No, you can't." He held me back again.
The warmth from his palm made me lose my mind for a moment, and I just let him hold me like that, forgetting to struggle.
"Li Ge... I will love you and protect you well. Can you give me another chance?" Lin Chujian looked at me sincerely and attentively.
I couldn't stand the look in his eyes. I knew that I loved him so much that I couldn't refuse him once I saw that he was serious.
I sighed softly in my heart, then met his gaze and asked him very seriously, "You and Xu Yaxin, is there really no next time?"
"No! Absolutely not!" Seeing that I had softened my attitude, he excitedly hugged me in his arms, "Li Ge, thank you! Thank you!"
"No need to thank me. I'm just getting rid of a harm for the people. If it weren't for my heroic sacrifice, I don't know how many innocent girls you would have harmed by this face that harms people?" My heart finally felt a little relieved, and my words returned to normal.
"You always say things that are not what you really mean." He whispered in my ear, "Li Ge, if you like me as much as I do, you will know that I am already terminally ill because of you."
I think so too.
A long time later, I regretted that I didn't tell Lin Chujian all my love at that moment, which made me lose many opportunities to tell him that I loved him.
When Lin Chujian and I walked back to the box hand in hand, the anger in Xu Ya's eyes made Yi Tian happy.
Xu Yaxin glared at us, then left in her high heels without saying goodbye.
When Yi Tian saw Xu Yaxin leave, she pulled my hand and said excitedly, "The way you two are being so affectionate is so satisfying! Li Ge, don't cry like you did just now. You scared me to death."
"Sister, could you please stop using idioms randomly? I really don't know how you got into Orange Media."
Seeing Yi Tian's excitement, I felt like I had attributed all the tears I just shed to Lin Chujian...
In this situation, it was not convenient for me to cry and explain what was happening at home, so I could only laugh it off.
"Okay, now that you two have reconciled, I can feel free to show my love to you. Let me introduce you to my boyfriend." When Yi Tian said this, her face was full of sweetness.
I was so shocked by Yi Tian's words that my eyes widened and I said excitedly, "Yi Tian, ​​you are amazing. You secretly got a boyfriend without letting me know."
Yi Tian rolled her eyes at me and said, "I won't provoke you for being so depressed when you broke up with Lin Chujian a while ago! You two should sit over there quickly and I'll introduce you to each other."
I was extremely curious, so I quickly pulled Lin Chujian to sit down, waiting to see Yi Tian’s boyfriend.
Yi Tian is famous for her demanding requirements for her boyfriend, from appearance, height, and family to zodiac sign, blood type, and taste, she has a set of strictly enforced standards.
So even though she had been clamoring to have a passionate relationship since her freshman year, she still hadn't found her ideal partner by her senior year.
Seeing that Lin Chujian and I sat down, Yi Tian pulled over a tall and handsome boy sitting next to us. The boy had pure eyes and a sunny smile.
"Here, let's get to know each other. This is my best sister, Li Ge. Li Ge is a famous debater in our school and her professional grades are also among the best. This is my boyfriend, Li Qiuyang, he is a musician and is now the lead singer of the Crow band."
Li Qiuyang and I looked at each other.
"Hello, what a coincidence that we share the same surname." Li Qiuyang smiled.
"Yes, you're the lead singer of a band, and you have quite a personality. I'll go see your performance next time." I looked at Li Qiuyang and compared him with the boyfriend standards that Yi Tian had listed before. Apart from his height and good looks, everything else made me feel a little unreliable.
Yi Tian stood between us and joked, "Yeah, the surname Li is quite rare, maybe you two are relatives!"
This statement is so far-fetched that I have no idea how to respond.
If people with the same surname mean they are relatives, then Brother Liming, can he recognize me as his sister?
Compared to my disdain, Li Qiuyang's attitude seemed much more ambiguous. He looked at me with interest for a long time.
"What are you looking at?" After Yi Tian left, I said to Li Qiuyang in a somewhat aggressive tone.
Li Qiuyang was a little embarrassed and said something that almost made me spit out the beer in my mouth: "Don't you think we are a bit similar?"
I’ve heard cheesy pick-up lines like “I think I’ve seen you somewhere” and “We like the same things, we’re destined to be together,” but this is the first time I’ve heard someone talk about someone who looks like me, especially when the other person is a man.
"Watch your eyes carefully and don't spend too much time on other girls except Yi Tian." I said viciously and ignored him.
I fell on the sofa, picked up the beer next to me and took a few gulps.
This Li Qiuyang always gives me a weird feeling .
Fortunately, Lin Chujian was by my side, and he held my hand tightly. He smiled so brightly, as if there was nothing in life worth being discouraged about.
Lin Chujian, thank you for giving me a hug that wouldn't let go after you listened to me telling me about all the troubles in my family.
The cold alcohol slid down my throat, and Lin Chujian's beautiful singing voice filled my ears.

May someone give you a warm hug.
I wish someone would talk to you in the long night.
Love before it becomes the past,
Do not be afraid……

Yi Tian was walking around the box in her home clothes which were made messy by my tears and snot, and she kept greeting everyone like a qualified hostess.
Her boyfriend, the boy with a strange look in his eyes, sometimes sings a few songs whose titles he can't remember, but his voice is quite nice.
Several classmates who were familiar with Yi Tian and me sat aside, eating watermelon and playing funny games.
Lin Chujian held my hand, let my head rest on his shoulder, and fed the watermelon into my mouth little by little.
We are the ones who will be buried together until we die...
This thought flashed through my mind.
After a few sips of beer, I didn’t know if it was true that people with worries shouldn’t drink, but after a while I felt dizzy and fell on the sofa.
When I was still in a daze, it was Lin Chujian who carried me into the car .
"Lin Chujian, are you going to send Li Ge home? Are you planning to meet your future father-in-law and mother-in-law?" Yi Tian said jokingly, "Are you sure they will agree to hand over their precious daughter to you?"
"Don't go to her house, let her go to your place first! If there is anything, let's talk about it after you sober up." Lin Chujian hugged me, and I could feel that his hands were using a little strength. I don't know if I was too heavy or he was feeling sorry for me.
Going home?
I don't have a home anymore...
When we arrived at Yi Tian's house, when she finished taking a shower and was about to help me clean up, she saw me staring at the ceiling with my eyes wide open, and she was immediately frightened.
"Hey, you were just pretending to sleep!" She threw a wrung-out hot towel on my face and said, "Wipe your face, take a shower, and go to bed! I've already told your parents, you're welcome ."
I spread my hands, took a deep breath, and said to her in an extremely calm tone: "My father and mother are divorced."
After hearing what I said, Yi Tian was probably stunned for a moment. After a while, she walked to my side with a surprised look on her face and took off the towel on my face: "Are you kidding me ?"
"What's so funny about this? " I looked at her.
"How is that possible! Aren't your parents always very loving?"
"It was just an act. They divorced a long time ago, and the divorce certificate has been out for almost ten years. So, was her acting good?" Maybe it was because I had a breakdown all night, but now that I talked about it, I felt much calmer.
Yi Tian came closer to me with a distressed look on her face: "Are you okay?"
"Something happened..." I wiped my face casually with a towel, "Didn't I just run to the KTV and hugged you and cried?"
"Ah... you were talking about this just now. I thought you were talking about Lin Chujian... No wonder when I called your parents just now, their tone was a little strange. They didn't ask much and just asked me to take good care of you."
I didn't say anything, still staring blankly at the ceiling. After a long while, I blurted out in despair: "I will have no home in the future..."
"What are you talking about!" Yi Tian was a little angry. She hugged my head and said, "From now on, my home will be your home."
I leaned on her shoulder, thinking about my parents' faces, and suddenly I felt so strange.
“Li Ge, I’m telling you, you are not allowed to say such . No matter what happens in the future, even if that guy Lin Chujian makes you angry again, you must know that even if no one in the world will protect you or abandon you, you still have me, a close friend like me who is as solid as iron, who will always be by your side and protect you forever.” Yi Tian said with great determination.
When I heard this, my eyes turned red.
"How is it? Touching, isn't it?" Yi Tian looked very proud. She patted her chest and said proudly, "From now on, everything I have will be yours."
"Really?" I asked.
Yi Tian nodded without any defense.
I smiled triumphantly and said, "Then let me wear that expensive new silk pajamas you bought!"
"You! You're so cruel!" After hearing my request, Yi Tian walked towards the closet reluctantly. With a gesture of sacrificing herself generously, she took out the pajamas , and threw them next to me, "Take it..."
I took her pajamas to the bathroom.
The warm water hit my body, and thinking about what happened today was like watching a movie, full of incredible dramatic conflicts.
After taking a shower and wearing expensive silk pajamas, I curled the corners of my mouth.
Yi Tian, ​​who was lying on the bed, gave me an angry look, then held up my phone and said, "Your family member Lin Chujian came to check on you and asked if you had slept."
I took the phone, looked at the WeChat message, thought for a long time, and decided not to reply.
"Does Lin Chujian know?" Yi Tian noticed something was wrong with me.
I nodded.
"No wonder he directly said to send you to my house. I thought he was afraid to meet his parents."
I sighed and lay down on the bed.
Yi Tian put a facial mask on my face and said, "Don't think about it. Put on the mask and have a good sleep. Tomorrow I will tell my mom that you want to study with me and stay at my house for a while."
I nodded.
"In fact, finding out that your parents are divorced is not a bad thing, it is better than you continuing to be kept in the dark. Although you will be sad and painful when you find out that they are divorced and have deceived you, they may be sadder and more painful than you during all these years of pretending to be in love. You hate them for deceiving you, but you should also think that they are using their own pain to protect your happiness, right? It is better than them not even pretending, cursing and blaming each other in front of you, isn't it?" When Yi Tian said this, there was an imperceptible sadness in her voice.
I looked at Yi Tian in surprise. I didn't expect that she, who was always carefree, would say such a thing.
I nodded, pondering the meaning of her words.
In fact, I understand some of the truth, but it is really difficult to put it into practice.
I lay in bed, thinking about the relationship between my parents on the one hand, and the on-and-off relationship between Lin Chujian and me on the other. I suddenly felt very confused.
Two people fall in love, get married, have children, and live together for a lifetime... I understand that love may be worn out in this process, but I didn't expect that family affection is also so fragile.
When Lin and I first met, would the love that filled my heart at that moment disappear one day?