Volume 6 2014 Chapter 1047 Self-Judgment
Although he regained his sanity with the help of drugs, the problem was not solved.
Why is this happening?
After regaining consciousness, the first thing Yi Haoyan felt was not joy or happiness.
Instead, the huge shame and embarrassment that followed the recovery of memory.
It just collapsed like this?
Is it because of the breakup with Eun-bi?
You broke down over such a small thing? You are really vulnerable~
Negative emotions and thoughts popped up in his mind at the first moment, making the boy feel as if he was being criticized by thousands of people in an instant.
Even if he just stayed in the ward and didn't go out, Yi Haoyan felt as if everyone in the world knew what he had done and was mocking and scolding him mercilessly.
In addition to the breakdown caused by the breakup with Enfei, what made Yi Haoyan even more difficult to face were the other things he had done during that period.
He took his anger out on Choi Jin-ri.
This is a stain that the boy cannot cover up.
To be fair, Yi Haoyan objectively examines the entire process, is there any problem with the truth?
Of course! She approaches Eun-bi and hints at her unusual identity.
This is of course related to Enfei's realization of her true identity in the end.
But is it all her fault?
What Victoria Song said actually makes a lot of sense.
If I hadn't chosen to hide it from Enfei from the beginning, the things that happened later would never have happened. And since I chose to conceal my identity, I was destined to know the truth one day, it was just a matter of time.
The act of truth only accelerates the exposure of this fact.
She had selfish motives, but that wasn't the main reason.
Yi Haoyan knew very well that the fundamental problem lay with himself.
During the four years of the relationship, he had the opportunity to choose the time and method to reveal his identity every day.
There are countless opportunities and ways to take control of this process and find ways to minimize the harm.
But out of an inexplicable fear that the relationship would sour, he did nothing.
It was delayed until Eunbi's debut, which was the most inappropriate time.
The one who caused this worst consequence was actually Yi Haoyan himself.
Moreover, even if the truth is selfish.
Isn't this kind of selfishness something you tacitly approve of?
If he asked himself honestly, the boy couldn't deny it.
Does he really not know the feelings of truth?
In fact, the boy already had the feeling before he confessed his feelings.
But because he was greedy for the feeling of being liked, he did not refuse, and even found many excuses to deceive himself.
What's even more ridiculous is that he claims to be a person of high moral standards.
Where exactly is it so high?
If the truth has not been revealed yet, one can still argue that it is not realized or is not clear, so it is not easy to reject it directly.
But what happens after the truth is revealed?
It must feel great to be loved wholeheartedly by such a perfect girl, right?
You know that she likes you and you have a girlfriend, but you don't take the initiative to distance yourself from her. Instead, you attend social activities together with her, stand up for her, and take the initiative to create opportunities for contact. Aren't you enjoying this relationship?
Although they are positioned as good friends on the surface, is this really a friendship?
A friend to confess to?
Yi Haoyan could not answer any of these questions.
The inner questioning and judgment made it impossible for him to conceal or escape, and he could only face his true self.
This is a test of conscience.
Zhenli’s selfishness and the thing she did in the end, wasn’t it the result of your acquiescence and connivance?
The funniest thing is, when Eun-fei wanted to break up because she knew your true identity, you actually blamed Zhenli?
It's so shameless!
He has no sense of responsibility as a man!
When nothing is going on, he secretly enjoys her affection and dedication, and when something goes wrong, he puts the blame on her.
hehe!
How is this behavior different from that of emotional scammers who specifically cheat on women?
Even if a chaebol young master wants to be unfaithful, he should at least have some sense of responsibility, right?
Sorry girlfriend, that's your problem, what does it have to do with the truth?!
Victoria Song called you a coward, worse than a dog! She really didn't call the wrong person!
That slap was so just!
Well played!
The most shameful thing is that you took your anger out on Choi Jin-ri and lost Kwon Eun-bi, but you didn't end up well yourself and instead collapsed like a wimp.
Moreover, she was ill for almost a year and missed Joohyun's debut.
hehe!
Yi Haoyan...you are really useless...
…
…
At this time, the boy who had not yet been discharged from the hospital had not resumed contact with the outside world. Apart from Bae Joo-hyun's debut, he didn't know anything .
But these things made it impossible for him to face himself.
Sometimes, he even wished that he had not regained consciousness and continued in his previous state.
That way you don't have to face the scrutiny of conscience and moral judgment every day.
This feeling of being repeatedly judged by one's own moral values is really torturous.
He was completely unable to face and accept this weak, shameless and cowardly self.
But I can't get rid of it.
Because those are facts and cannot be refuted at all.
In fact, Yi Haoyan has always been very proud in his heart.
Although he appears to be able to maintain courtesy towards everyone, he is also far more attentive and considerate towards ordinary people than the average chaebol young master.
But at heart, he doesn't consider himself an ordinary person.
In fact, thanks to their outstanding family background, many second-generation chaebols have this mentality. This is a side effect of wealth and status, and many people inevitably develop this mentality.
But for Yi Haoyan, his high self-esteem does not only come from his family background.
And his talent and moral cultivation.
The boy is very clear that his abilities are much stronger than those of ordinary people.
He can see the future that many people cannot see, and he can also find the real truth from the complex torrent of information and make full use of it.
Especially when it comes to long-term and macro-scale control and speculation, he seems to be born with a very high pattern and vision.
These make him feel that other people are superficial when he faces them.
He basically looks down on those rich second-generations who are similar to him, such as Lin Jingzhi.
Many of these people have lost themselves.
Those who have lost their morals, do not treat others as human beings, and have completely lost self-discipline.
All kinds of ugly behaviors are common.
Compared with other second-generation chaebols, Yi Haoyan is truly a clean white lotus.
Basically, apart from being a bit sharp-tongued, he doesn't have any bad habits.
They are reasonable, polite, considerate of the lives of ordinary people, and even willing to humble themselves to be like them.
This is how he spent those years in school.
This gave the boy a sense of moral superiority.
He is better than ordinary people and also better than those rich second-generations.
But when he broke up with Quan Enfei, Yi Haoyan realized that what he had done was actually no different from those people he looked down upon.
Being unfaithful in love and having two relationships at the same time.
Although nothing really happened between him and the truth, he was actually indulging in this kind of emotional game and would not let go of either side.
Arrogant and self-deceiving.
He knew clearly that there was something wrong with his relationship with Eun-bi, but he turned a blind eye to it. In the end, it was all his own fault.
Cowardly, incompetent and irresponsible.
After the accident, he pushed the blame onto the innocent Choi Jin-ri, hurt her viciously, and blamed his own incompetence on others.
This kind of behavior is simply scumbag, even more shameless than the people Yi Haoyan despises the most!
But these were all done by Yi Haoyan himself! He couldn't blame anyone else!
He even broke up with Victoria Song because of this!
It's ridiculous!
Not admitting that you did something wrong is more disgusting than doing something wrong!
Yi Haoyan used to hate people like this the most.
But that's just who he is.
Such self-judgment made the teenager feel completely ashamed.
He urgently needs psychological counseling.
