Volume 5: Protracted War Chapter 17 "Not Just for Love"
"Stop, stop..." A Feng was still explaining and analyzing like a "love expert", but I couldn't stand it any more. "Stop talking about so much 'theoretical knowledge'. I know I have too many shortcomings. Just tell me what to do in the future and I'll do it."
A Feng glared at me unhappily, as if blaming me for interrupting his "speech", but he didn't get angry in the end. "After listening to me for so long, what do you think about it? What do you think we should do next?"
"You're not asking me to launch a fierce 'love offensive' against Xiaoyue and pursue her madly, are you?"
"Idiot, if that happens, you will be just as 'vulgar' as the others. What advantage do you have? I am so angry. I have taught you for so long, but you still haven't gotten the hang of it."
I was confused again. He said both the positive and negative things all by himself, which made me confused and I didn't know what to do. "A Feng, just tell me what to do. Don't make me guess and waste my precious rest time. You also said that my 'emotional intelligence index' is very low, and I don't have any good ideas for this kind of thing."
A Feng shook his head and sighed deeply, "Forget it. A rotten tree cannot be carved. I won't bother with that. What I mean is that you should be a little more proactive in the future. You don't have to deliberately approach Xiao Yue, but you must not let go of any chance to contact her easily and show more care for her..."
After talking for a long time, I still didn't quite understand what he said. Those vague verbs and adjectives were too abstract. I couldn't understand how to deal with them. "Afeng, can you give me a practical example to show me how I should do it?"
A Feng thought for a moment, "There is a good opportunity right in front of me. It is your newly made 'Phoenix Feather Cape'. Xiao Yue helped a lot in it. At least one third of it should belong to her..."
"You mean to tell me to give the 'Phoenix Feather Cloak' to Xiaoyue as a gift? But..." I jumped up in surprise. This is a must-have equipment for entering and exiting the "Hell Volcano" and must not be discarded easily.
"Why are you in such a hurry? I didn't ask you to give it to her. It would be too abrupt to give such valuable equipment away for nothing. Wouldn't it be telling the other party that you have ulterior motives? Even if you really want to give it to her, Xiaoyue will definitely not accept it based on her personality."
"So what do you mean?" I was getting a little anxious after hearing him keep asking in suspense.
"I can't give it to you, but I can lend it to you. You usually spend most of your time in the 'Dead Space'. Apart from the 'Phoenix Feather Cloak' that you need to enter and exit the 'Hell Volcano', it is not very useful for you as a lonely undead wizard. You are not handsome, and you don't need to rely on it to increase your 'charm'. It is a waste to wear it on a regular basis. It is better to lend it to Xiaoyue so that the cloak can be used more effectively. Anyway, Xiaoyue also likes this 'Phoenix Feather Cloak' very much, and she has also made great efforts in it. Lending equipment to friends when you are 'unused' is also a common thing in the game. In this way, you can further win Xiaoyue's favor without appearing to be deliberately trying to please her."
Then we discussed some specific details and listened to Afeng's "guidance" for me. After we roughly finalized the "action plan", Afeng and I were silent for a long time, and the atmosphere suddenly became a little depressing.
"You've tried so hard to bring us together. Do you really think that there's a possibility for Xiaoyue and I to start a relationship or even get together?" This question has been on my mind from the beginning. I endured it for a long time, wanting to continue immersing myself in the beautiful fantasy I had "woven", but I finally asked it.
A Feng looked at me calmly, expressionless. He remained silent for a while, then suddenly smiled slightly, "No, no matter how you analyze it, it's impossible for you and Xiao Yue to be together. There's not even a glimmer of chance."
Although this was also the answer I imagined, I was still surprised to hear it come so directly from the mouth of the most "enthusiastic" Afeng. "If that's the case, then why do you still encourage me to take positive action?" Isn't this a waste of my time and emotions?
"Real life is very practical. Generally speaking, you and Xiaoyue are not a good match. There is no possibility at all. But I have told you just now that you are in a virtual game world, and you don't have to follow the rules of reality. You can try whatever you dare not think of or do in normal times. Even if you fail, make a fool of yourself and lose face, no one will know your true identity. If you change the game or return to reality, you will not recognize each other and will not have the slightest impression. In this case, why don't you let go of yourself, get rid of those mental burdens, enjoy yourself in this virtual game world, and experience an alternative life. I know that you are not ready to pursue a more outstanding girl in real life. You have the confidence and courage, but it is different in the game. You do not need to take too much responsibility for your words and deeds. Whether you succeed or fail in the end, it is a rare experience that can help you accumulate valuable experience. The important thing is that you have the courage to face it, to have the courage to try and challenge. As a brother who has been together for so many years, I can tell you frankly that, in fact, your ability is not bad, and you have many strengths, but your biggest weakness is lack of self-confidence. To be frank, deep in your heart, you even have a sense of inferiority, which unconsciously affects your thinking, restricts your actions, and greatly limits your development. The most direct consequence is that you still have accomplished nothing and can hardly maintain even the basic life. No Wrong. Right now, you have established yourself in the online game Tianxia because of a lucky start. You can even say that you have made a name for yourself temporarily. But this is a virtual world after all, and it does not represent real life. How long can an online game last? One year, two years, or three to five years? Then what should you do after that? What are your considerations? Will you continue to return to your previous lifestyle, relying on the huge sum of money you have successfully earned in Tianxia to support you and muddle through in mediocrity? Or have you tasted the sweetness and want to continue to be a professional player? However, if you start a new game again, you may not be as lucky as you are now. With your experience and skills, you don’t have any advantages. I’m afraid it will be difficult for you to achieve the same success as in Tianxia. Maybe you can only become one of the countless ordinary players. One of the players . Or realize your dream, accumulate an initial start-up capital, and start learning to invest in business like others? But this has higher requirements for the overall quality of the individual, and first of all, you must have confidence and firmly believe that you will succeed. Don't be timid, otherwise you will not be able to gain a foothold in the fierce and cruel social competition, and you will just "burn money" in vain. If you don't try hard to break through this psychological shackles, and try your best to change and improve yourself, once you lose the blessing of "luck", it will be difficult to succeed, and you may not have much future in your life. "The more he spoke, the more serious Afeng's expression became, and his smile gradually became stiff, looking straight at me, and even a little "harsh".
"But, I..." I moved my mouth, instinctively wanting to say something, to defend myself or even refute, but the words felt so pale and powerless when they came to my lips, I couldn't organize any words, my mind was in a mess, and I didn't know what to do. All along, especially in the three or four years since I graduated and came to Shenzhen, no matter how difficult the situation was, Afeng always gave me support and encouragement, firmly believing that "difficulties are only temporary", as long as I continue to work hard and don't give up easily, there will always be a day to "stand out". He has never criticized me so "frankly" as today, without any mercy, and "exposed" some things that I had deliberately forgotten and hidden deep in my heart, forcing me to face these problems directly.
"In fact, you are not completely useless. When facing what you really want to do, you have an extraordinary resilience. Even professional players may not be able to endure the loneliness and solitude in the 'Dead Space' for as long as you do. Most of them choose to team up with other companions. There are very few 'lone travelers' like you who almost regard the 'Dead Space' as their home. Even I don't have the confidence to do it. Moreover, when facing various difficult tasks, you are extremely determined. You always try your best to complete them and never give up halfway. This is completely different from your performance in the few jobs you have done in reality. Because at that time, you just worked for the sake of work, not for the sake of success. It is what you really want to do, but you haven't put in all your enthusiasm, and you don't believe that you can do it well. How can you succeed if you keep holding this mentality? I didn't dare to tell you these real thoughts before because I was afraid that it would be too much of a blow to you and you couldn't bear it in the adversity. But now it's different. You are developing smoothly in the virtual game world and are in a good situation. A series of successes and obvious improvement in economic conditions have increased your confidence a lot. Although you haven't completely gotten rid of the shackles of inferiority, you are already able to accept my frank advice to you. As a brother, I don't want to see you continue to suffer losses, so there are some things I have to say..."
As expected of my most intimate friend, he has a deep understanding of my nature - I always lose my spirit when facing a job I don't like. In the early days of arriving in Shenzhen, due to insufficient psychological preparation and pressure from employment and life, I had little choice. I could only find a job as soon as possible, but I lacked real investment, so I naturally couldn't do my job well. I often felt that my future was bleak, and finally I had to resign and leave. After several times, I became more and more impatient and inadvertently fell into a "vicious cycle". The situation became more and more difficult. If Afeng had said these words to "add insult to injury" to me at that time, I would definitely not have the courage to persist, and I would probably have left Shenzhen and returned to my hometown in disgrace. Choosing this time to "criticize" me harshly, even if it is not easy for me to accept, at least it will not cause too bad results.
"The reason why you have such a personality is not only because you did not perform well in the college entrance examination and did not get into a key university as you wished..." A Feng hesitated for a moment, but finally continued to speak, "Is it also because of the influence of the '101 Love Letters Incident' during your freshman year?"
My body shook noticeably. "The Incident of 101 Love Letters" is a memory that I have buried deep in my heart, a painful and even "shameful" memory. I have been trying my best to forget it, but it often lingers in my mind. The first time I gave my sincere effort was met with "disdain", which was a heavy blow to my self-confidence that had already been damaged by my poor performance in the college entrance examination. It seriously hurt my self-esteem.
That was the first time I fell in love. The other party was a beautiful and very enthusiastic girl. For some reason, and with the encouragement of my classmates, I pretended to be overwhelmed and decided to pursue her. I didn't have money to treat her to food and entertainment, so I came up with a unique idea. I wrote her 101 love letters in 101 days, one letter a day, and persisted, hoping to impress her with my sincerity. However, my painstaking efforts were not accepted by her. The ending was very miserable. After sending the 101st love letter, all the love letters were actually made public on the campus network. I was openly rejected and marked with extremely sarcastic comments such as "a toad wants to eat swan meat". Although the signature was hidden, it naturally could not be hidden from those who had ulterior motives. For a while, I became the laughing stock of everyone around me. Of course, I acted calmly - it was originally a bet with my classmates, and I didn't expect it to succeed. It seemed that success or failure had no effect on me, but I was very painful in my heart. I had given so much and had never been rejected explicitly. When I had already had a glimmer of fantasy, I was ruthlessly played. As a topic of conversation, the "101 Love Letter Incident" soon subsided because there was no follow-up, but in fact it has always been engraved in the depths of my heart and I can't forget it for a moment. Sometimes when I think back, "sexual indifference" and "inferiority complex" may be the causes planted at that time.
I didn't expect that even such a secret thing would be seen by Afeng. It seems that I still can't hide myself from my truly trusted friends. I smiled bitterly and said, "I understand what you mean. I will try my best..."
"Facing Xiaoyue is not just for love. Success or failure is not the most important thing. This is a challenge. Only if you dare to face it, you will have the hope to untie the knot in your heart and truly let yourself go."
