Volume 10 Bugs Chapter 38 Gossip Saves the World
"Have you heard about it? Countess Peter Schuratz and her groom... hehe... hush, this is a big secret. If the gardener of the Earl's mansion hadn't seen it secretly, and he told the maid he was in love with, and the maid accidentally let the cook hear it when they were talking privately, and the cook told this to her husband, and then told his son, the earl's young master's servant, and the little servant told the grocer's wife when he bought snacks, this top-secret information would never be leaked out. And if the maid who worked for my cousin's aunt's niece's second aunt's great-aunt wasn't a classmate of the distant niece of the grocer's wife's eldest cousin's second aunt in the church boarding school, I wouldn't have known this news. Fortunately, I am famous for being very tight-lipped, and I will only tell you, and you must never tell anyone else..."
Poor Earl, it sounds like everyone in the entire city of Rewell, except him, already knows the "unknown" little secret of his wife and the groom.
What was particularly annoying was that this respectable "close-mouthed" lady spoke hesitantly and for a long time I still couldn't figure out what the Countess and her groom had done.
As a well-educated and moral warrior, it is not my place to explore other people's privacy. So... that... I only asked the lady six times, and after finally confirming that she really would not tell me the details of the Countess and the groom, I calmly gave up trying - I swear, I didn't feel the slightest bit of reluctance to not get a definite answer.
"...Do you know? The proprietress of the pub across the street is a widow, but every day a man's shadow appears in the window of her room on the second floor. I've been squatting here for almost half a year, and I can see that man every night... ahem... haha..."
This immoral peeping Tom should have his unruly eyes gouged out so that he can't spy on a lady's private life. I think he should even have his tongue pulled out and wrapped around his neck to strangle him to death - who made him stop updating just when the story was at a critical juncture?
Um... isn't this a bit too cruel? I touched my neck and reflected deeply.
I swear by the sword in my hand that I have no interest in these gossips circulating in the streets, not at all - cough cough... Of course, it is undeniable that they sometimes sound quite interesting and can arouse the curiosity of a normal human being - but I am not interested in them either! The reason why I am tirelessly and tirelessly... ah, no, it should be boring... to inquire about these news is completely driven by a lofty and great sense of historical responsibility and mission, and there are sufficient and legitimate reasons.
For example - saving the world, is this reason convincing enough?
Since leaving the Gravel Outpost, I have been following Wagner's footsteps and heading north. I have to say that this great genius madman who is determined to benefit the world is definitely the most cunning prey I have ever seen. His whereabouts are secretive and difficult to track. There have been several times when I have completely lost his trace and wanted to give up in despair. Fortunately, every time at this time, I can always find some clues about Wagner in the nearby villages and towns - the prerequisite is that you must find the dull and unaware insider from the vast crowd.
Gradually, I gained experience, and whenever I encountered such a dilemma, I would talk to everyone within my sight as much as possible. When I was lucky, they would tell you that some incidents had happened here recently, such as rotting corpses, running shadows at night, terrifying screams, etc., which were probably traces left by Wagner; and sometimes they would ask you to complete some irrelevant tasks, and I also tried my best to complete them - because I was not sure whether they could provide me with some relevant clues after completing these tasks - the side effect of doing this was that I leveled up again in these six days.
Unfortunately, in most cases, they will talk endlessly to you about trivial matters and then leave quietly before driving you crazy. This is the bad situation I am facing now.
Everyone hopes to find , and follow the right path. However, the cruel reality tells me that on the road of life, most of your explorations and attempts are in vain. It is impossible to find the direction of progress in just one or two explorations. It is very likely that you can get the correct guidance only when you are forced into a desperate situation. For example, you have wandered around in a small village for more than 20 times and questioned the only 30 villagers twice. You want to tie them all up and torture them. You have been asking questions until you are extremely anxious and crazy, but you still don’t get any news. In the end, the little kid who has been sitting under the road sign at the entrance of the village and playing with mud tells you that a strange uncle with a sallow face and red eyes happened to pass by the intersection on the left two days ago. What makes me angry is that this child is the first villager I saw when I entered the village, but I talked to everyone else until I was dry-mouthed. I even tried to communicate with the dogs in the village several times before I remembered to chat with him.
If I encountered this situation, Xian Ge Ya Yi would probably attribute it to my visual impairment, Fo Xiao would continue to think it was a character issue, and Niu Baiwan would certainly put himself in my shoes and wonder if I was lost in this small mountain village with only thirteen shabby thatched houses.
I have a concise and accurate evaluation of this matter:
I'm so damn unlucky!
Now, I think you can fully understand how noble my sentiments are to ask these gossipy women for all the gossip. As I said just now, I gossip for the sake of saving the world. Of course, you don't have to show shame for your little misunderstanding of me just now. I know very well that in the difficult journey of seeking truth, pioneers like me who are brave enough to take on and be loyal to their responsibilities are always easily misunderstood...
Hmm? What? You said that the daughter of the Dongmen blacksmith got married with a big belly? And the baby in her belly was not the groom's? What's going on? Tell me more in detail... Hey, whose child is that? Is it her cousin or the merchant's apprentice? Damn it, don't keep hesitating... Humph, if you don't explain it clearly, forget it. I'm not interested in this matter anyway...
...Not interested at all!
…
"Oh, what bad luck! I ordered a dress the day before yesterday, and was knocked down by a homeless man as I walked out the door. The man was dirty and rude, and he smelled like a piece of rotten meat. He stained a large area of my clothes with oil and blood. The owner of the tailor shop said he could help me alter it today. Can you pick it up for me, handsome sir? I'm about to miss the ball tonight." A middle-aged woman with brown hair tied into a big bun, a slightly fat body, a black mole on her lip, and a small folding fan in her hand suddenly stopped me and said to me anxiously. The name above her head read "Woman in a hurry to attend the ball."
A man who smelled like rotten meat? And left behind stains of oil and blood? My heart skipped a beat: This sounds a lot like Wagner's clue.
Thanks to the pervasive gossip news and the indomitable spirit of gossip, my own personal experience is enough to serve as ironclad historical evidence: it turns out that gossip can save the world.
"Where did you meet him? Did you see where he went?" I asked immediately.
"Oh my God, this is terrible. How can I go to the ball without a new dress? This is the end of the world." The woman did not respond to my question at all. She covered her face with her hands and screamed hysterically.
"Madam, that man is very dangerous. He could bring devastating..." I was furious and emphasized the seriousness of the matter in a serious tone.
"Oh my God, this is terrible. How can I go to the ball ? This is the end of the world..." The woman ignored my words.
"...Madam, you don't understand, this matter is very important, the whole continent is facing..." I finally got the news about Wagner, I wanted to pull him... or it? ... out of the pit right now, I didn't have the heart to help this woman get the damn dress. I was so anxious that my internal organs were burning, I tried hard to persuade this woman with rational methods, let her tell me where Wagner was as soon as possible, and then find someone else to help her get the clothes.
"Oh my God, this is terrible. How can I go to the ball without a new dress? This is simply the end of the world..." The woman's attitude was as tough as a glacier that has stood on the polar plateau since ancient times, with no signs of melting at all.
"Inhale..." I took a deep breath into my chest. The air flowing through my trachea brought a cool touch, which prevented me from doing anything . "...How can I make you understand? If you don't tell me where he went as soon as possible, it might be the real end of the world, the end of the world..."
"Oh my god, this is horrible. How am I going to go to the dance without a new dress? This is simply..."
"Okay, okay, no problem, you win, I'll go, is it okay for me to go? I'll go to that unethical tailor shop and get that damn dress for you, stupid woman, so that you can wear it to attend that damn ball. Crazy, you crazy woman..." In the face of the woman's obsession as strong as a river, I finally had a mental breakdown and was completely defeated. I had to risk the world being destroyed to help her get a dress that used very little fabric but was expensive enough to rival a full set of chain mail, just to allow her to show off her fat all over her body in public.
I don't know if you have this feeling. Oftentimes, you simply cannot understand the outlook on life and values of the female intelligent creatures around you. For example, right now, in this woman's eyes, the survival of the entire world is far less urgent and important than a brand new backless dress, even though her wardrobe may already be filled with these flashy, impractical textiles that have only been worn once, and even though this dress may not suit her at all. Sometimes I wonder if the earliest female creatures in the world all came from another distant time and space plane - perhaps that is even farther away than the hometown of the spacewalkers - and the gods let them come here just to make men's wills stronger...
Who knows?
Before leaving, I cursed the woman in the most vicious language I could imagine:
"You bloated fat old bitch!"
She had a blank expression on her face... I would rather think that she was so angry that she had no words to say, because thinking that way makes me feel a little better.
Well, to summarize my current situation briefly: I am in a noisy city full of rumors and gossips, my ears are filled with all kinds of vague gossips from aunts and uncles, I am forced by a stupid woman who thinks a new dress is far more important than the death of the continent to pick up a dress that is destined to be ill-fitting, and I have to take a little time out of my busy schedule to risk my life to save this fragile world. I really can't imagine what situation could be worse than this.
"Jeff..." Suddenly, a clear female voice sounded behind me on the left. At first I was not sure if the voice was calling me, but in the moment of hesitation, the voice called out my full name more clearly, "Jeffreys Kidd, here, we are here..."
As I turned around, a beautiful figure came into my sight: it was a human woman, wearing a "shining crown" inlaid with various gems, a sky-blue "water elf ripple" robe, holding a walnut two-handed staff inlaid with purple crystals "the protector of the great magician", and hanging all over her body. It was a lot of golden and expensive accessories. You have to admit that she was a very beautiful human woman, and her clothes were elegant and eye-catching, but looking at her charming smile, you can always feel a kind of decadent nouveau riche temperament unconsciously. Her concerned and warm eyes looking at you always remind people of the joy of a butcher watching the piglets he raised grow fat day by day.
"Jeffreys Kidd, you still owe the guild four hundred and seventy-six gold coins, four silver coins and sixty-two copper coins. I have put them all in the account!" When the woman saw me, she shouted excitedly as if she had picked up a wallet - as far as I know, this is the first sentence she says when greeting every guild member.
Okay, let me correct you. The worst situation I can think of is: being in a noisy city full of rumors and scandals, your ears are filled with all kinds of vague gossips from your aunts and uncles, being forced by a stupid woman who thinks a new dress is far more important than the danger of the continent to pick up a dress that is destined to be ill-fitting for her, and having to take a little time out of your busy schedule to risk your life to save this fragile world. And all this is worse than you standing next to our president, the cruel wealth collector and accumulator, the greedy dragon lady Feiyin in human form, with nothing in your hands and penniless.
Wagner, this idiot, was too slow. Shouldn't he have destroyed the world sooner?
As I watched the president approaching through the crowd, I secretly thought...
