It snowed heavily again this winter.
Actually, I don’t like snow. Every time it snows, we seem to be arguing.
I have a bad temper, even Lin Jingyuan has said this to me. When I saw Fatty Fei dragging her into the car in the hotel, I lost my mind and beat him up.
Then, I tried my best to destroy their company, so I didn't see her for a long time.
Yes, I am such a villain who will never let go of a grudge. If someone bullies her, I will kill him no matter what the cost.
When I saw that man come back, I was crazy jealous, but when I saw that she was so indifferent to him, I felt relieved.
When I heard the news about her, I was at a dinner party, where a group of men were toasting and talking nonsense.
Lin Jingxiang calmly told me that something had happened to her. I dropped the deal and drove madly to the hospital. Her mother grabbed the man and yelled at him, "Did you kill her? Lin Jingyuan is so tough, how could she die? I'm going to call the police. I'm going to ask the police to arrest you!"
Aunt Qin was so angry that she was shaking all over. She raised her arm high, ready to slap her. Lin Jingxiang pulled her over and said fiercely, "Are you ashamed? The person is dead, and you still want to quarrel with her!"
I grabbed the man by the collar and asked him what happened. He shook my hand off and asked me for the first time if I had a cigarette.
He had never learned to smoke and was choked terribly .
Lin Jingxiang told me what happened. I walked into the room in disbelief, saw the body under the white cloth, and laughed until tears came out of my eyes.
I have known her since elementary school, and I don't remember those days. I only know that she was timid and as stubborn as a buffalo. She didn't even know how to live, so how could she dare to die?
But she eventually left this world and lost her life for a man.
I laughed so hard that tears came out. It turned out that she could be so brave for others.
That day I did not uncover the body under the white cloth. Who am I, Chen Jinmo? I do not know what sadness is. I did not say anything. I just went through the motions and went to the bar. The first thing I did was drink and ask women to play with me. Only this kind of indulgence made my trembling heart feel a little more stable.
There is no shortage of beauties around me. For a girl like Lin Jingyuan who is plain and simple, I am willing to throw myself at her. She never cares about me. How can I be sad for her? Don't be ridiculous.
She is easily shy, so I like to tease her the most. Sometimes I blow in her ears and her face turns red like a tomato. It's really fun.
She had no confidence, so when I saw boys starting to pay attention to her, I knew something bad was going to happen. My lovely little rabbit was being noticed by someone, but she was so silly that she didn't dare to believe it at all.
I hate to see her submitting to everything, so I take her to eat spicy food and to a smoky billiard room. I just want to hear her protest.
But she didn't. That's just how she is. She has a bull-like temper, but also the endurance of a bull.
Maybe I am a miser who is greedy for love but doesn't understand love. Yu Xinna likes to flirt with me, and Guan Qianqian is nice to me with a sly face, and I accept both of them. As for Lin Jingxiang, she is such a smart woman. She knew that my mind was not on her.
When Lin Jingxiang celebrated her birthday at the hotel, she drank too much, but I knew that she was half pretending to be crazy. She was unwilling to accept defeat after all, and she was better than Lin Jingyuan in every way, but she lost.
You must have heard the story of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf".
I was that stupid cowherd boy who was not serious most of the time. But when I fell in love with her and confessed my love to her, she was so scared that she hid back in her shell.
Yes, even I don’t believe it. Could it be that the handsome and romantic Chen Jinmo also has a time when he is loyal?
I called her and told her that I really missed her.
When I said I wanted to pursue her and be with her, it was true.
But I was too anxious. I hated that she never believed me, so that time in the car, I kissed her hard. She was really scared that time, and I was really angry.
She told me the story of the "blind boy" and asked me what I thought. I said the girl was a fool and the boy was a jerk. She, and only she, would be moved by such a story that deceived children.
In fact, if I were the blind boy who had nothing, I would not have let the girl become my girlfriend in the first place. I have no ability to make her happy, so why should I deceive her feelings?
She used her life to fulfill the remaining happiness of the person she owed, and she slept peacefully in heaven from then on, while that man had to face the deep longing and pain of loss for the rest of his life.
He waited all his life, but got nothing.
Thinking of this, my hatred for him was slightly reduced.
I followed Lin Jingxiang's Weibo. Once when I was browsing her fans, I saw a person named "Quiet Abyss". Lin Jingxiang's IQ was so high that it seemed like no one could tell it was her.
She rarely updates her homepage, but one day, she suddenly posted a message, which she did not delete and remained quietly on her homepage.
I am a person forgotten in the abyss of fate, and you are the little starlight in my dark life, not blazing but always gently illuminating my whole life.
I have been looking up, looking up at the sky, waiting for the stars to fall, waiting for someone to stay for me. After he left, my eyes could not see anyone, and when I saw you, it was too late.
If I can't have you in this life, then let this love be hidden between my lips and teeth, buried in the years, and accompany me until the stars are annihilated.
No matter how stupid I am, I know who the two people mentioned are.
I think it was my arrogance that made me miss her.
I never told her for sure that I was in love with her. She was so insecure and disappointed with me that she had no choice but to leave. My love was nothing but a joke.
Lin Jingxiang is right, I, Chen Jinmo, am a bastard, a bastard who never knows how to cherish.
I felt a surge of anger in my heart about her irresponsible departure from this world.
But what can I do?
I was drunk and staggered out of the bar. It was getting darker and the night was pitch black. I was walking alone like a lost deer, but I did n't know where to go.
She is dead.
There is no longer any of her in this world.
I squatted on the stone steps, crying without any image. My world was deep and dark, and so silent that all sounds were lost.
Suddenly, I heard the sound of heels hitting the ground, and a pair of red high-heeled shoes appeared on the ground in front of me. I looked up and saw a familiar face.
"Lin Jingyuan, you're here?"
I stood up with a smile on my face. My legs were numb from squatting for so long, and when I stood up I suddenly fell on her. She pushed me away in disgust, and I almost fell to the ground.
She also pushed me away. She was not Lin Jingyuan.
Lin Jingxiang said calmly: "Chen Jinmo, it's really strange that you can be sad too."
She is not Lin Jingyuan, she just looks exactly like her.
If Lin Jingyuan is a piece of warm mutton-fat jade, Lin Jingxiang is a thorny cactus, who is more sharp than her and can adapt to environmental pressure better than her.
"Aren't you sad?" I asked casually.
"She has herself to blame."
When she said this, I couldn't see that Lin Jingxiang was joking at all. She had a blank expression on her face and her eyes were a little red. I don't know if she had been crying.
I didn't say anything.
I feel sad for her as she doesn't feel heartbroken when her relatives treat her like this.
Such a pale life is really boring.
As time went by, I gradually became numb to her death.
I go to work as usual every day, get off work, and get together with a bunch of friends in the evening, smoking and drinking, and living a very carefree life.
Oh, by the way, Brother Lei went back to his hometown. I heard that his parents found a girl for him there. Someone like Brother Lei, who once lived on the edge of a knife, would eventually submit to life.
Lei Ge once showed me his "battle record" when he was young. There were seven scars on his back , which showed that he had aged. He said that he was young and ignorant, and got these scars from a fight with a group of guys. After he left, he sold the billiard room to me.
I once told her that when she gets old, she should open a billiard room.
I didn’t expect it to come true so soon. I don’t know if it’s because dreams are too easy to come true or if I’m getting old too fast.
After I became the owner of a billiard room, I seldom went to the company to do serious work. I raised a dog and a cat. It was fate that it was raining heavily that day, and I saw these two guys cuddling together, hiding from the rain under the overpass.
At that moment, I suddenly thought of her.
If she were still alive, she would definitely like to see me do this, so I took some effort to bring them back home. When I was catching them, the dog bit my hand in order to protect the cats.
When I went to the hospital for vaccination, I was thinking, will I die of rabies? Even if I die, I can go find her.
When it didn't matter how I lived, I was no longer afraid of death. When I was giving the dog a bath, Yu Xinna came to give me a wedding invitation. She had a neat short haircut, no makeup on, and her belly was bulging, obviously she was pregnant.
I greeted her in a somewhat foolish manner and said "Congratulations".
She smiled gently and thanked me.
Time is cruel. The once arrogant little girl is now about to get married and become a gentle woman like a bird. But the girl sleeping in the cold ground will never be able to feel her.
I quit smoking, not because I'm so obedient, but because my pharyngitis is getting worse and worse. The doctor said that if I don't quit smoking, I will definitely become mute.
In fact, I am no different from a mute now. Apart from humming a few songs, I usually walk the dog and clean up the cat's poop. The suave and handsome Chen has allowed himself to live an old age life in advance.
I like listening to the song I heard from her headphones. I heard that there was a conflict between a certain writer and a certain lyricist over the title of the song. I don’t want to care about these things, I just simply like its lyrics.
You accompany me to travel around the world in love, but it’s a pity that you can’t lie on my chest after all.
But there is a man who can truly take "her" to see all the mountains and rivers and make her like a queen.
I saw the news about him on TV. It said a man's lover died, and he traveled around the world with her photo, but unfortunately died in a plane crash.
When I heard the news, I was still laughing at the fact that there were such love-sick people in this world. But when I saw the photos on the news, I was shocked and my eyes were fixed on the screen, motionless.
It's that man.
It turns out that he really loves her more than I do.
I just remembered his name now. His name is Shen Xingmo, my love rival. I am such a failure. I have disliked him for so many years, but only now do I clearly recognize his name.
I held the railing tightly and looked into the distance. Spring had arrived and everything was reviving. Winter had sealed away all the sad memories of the past. The flowers blooming in early spring were so beautiful that they made me want to cry.
Chen Jinmo, who can save you?
The only answer I got was the gentle spring breeze passing by.
The story is ordinary, but the ending is tragic.
He was luckier than me when he was alive, and even when he died, he died more beautifully than me.
I calmly turned off the TV. It had been so long since she left, but when I saw such news, my heart ached.
As for why?
Maybe it's jealousy that's at work. I haven't even lost the right to hate him.
They are together, in another world, living a happier life than mine.
I am destined to never win again in this life .
After all, we still have to be alive and life must go on.
Love or hate, everything will return to dust.