Qi Beichen Extra: There are thousands of butterflies in the world, and you are just one of them
Melbourne.
Three years ago, I told my mother that I didn't care about her company with that foreign man anymore, and I came here to study abroad. At school, my name was well-known; they called me "Playboy". Most of the beautiful Chinese students at school had ambiguous relationships with me.
I indulged myself just to forget a black butterfly.
She got married, and every time I think of this, my heart aches. I seem to have become her in the past, knowing how to use my advantages to attract men.
I had a girlfriend named Shen Qing. As her name suggests, she was deeply in love with me and didn't let me go even after we broke up.
I like Shen Qing's eyes. They are like Zhu Yin's eyes in "A Chinese Odyssey" many years ago. Shen Qing also has such beautiful eyes, but more enchanting and charming than Zhu Yin's.
At night, I stayed in the villa, beautiful piano sounds came out from my fingers. There was a noise at the door, and Shen Qing appeared in a moon-white cheongsam, looking very charming.
She copied my house keys and never greeted me when she came to my house.
The same thing happened after a breakup.
Shen Qing came in, took off her high heels, and went barefoot to the wine rack to pour red wine. Seeing that I was playing the piano attentively, she smiled.
"Chen, you are disturbing me again late at night. This song is very meaningful to you."
Shen Qing strode over, crossed her arms, smacked her lips, and smiled. The light shone through her black hair, and she had a jade hairpin in her hair .
This is truly a fairy-like woman.
I pretended not to hear her.
"Hey, you're still ignoring me. I'll be rude to you then."
Shen Qing jumped forward nimbly, stretched out her hand from my shoulder, and started playing the music randomly. The chaotic music was maddening.
"Stop it."
"I'm just making trouble!"
I created a gust of wind with my palm and waved my hand. In a moment, she disappeared from my sight. I looked at her angrily, but there was no trace of the woman in my sight.
"Have you forgotten that I learned judo?" Shen Qing covered her mouth and laughed.
I can't do anything with this woman. If it was Xiang Qianlan, she would definitely not hide. She would just fight back with greater force.
I stood up and walked to the yard. The honeysuckle in the yard was fragrant. It was planted by Shen Qing. Shen Qing said that honeysuckle and mandarin duck vines, she wanted to be a pair of happy mandarin ducks with me.
I was still in a daze when Shen Qing approached quietly. Her hand stroked my chest and climbed up my cheek. I turned sideways to her, and the fragrance of flowers at night was blown all over the ground by the wind. She took off her hairpin, and the wind blew her long black hair onto her cheek and brushed her cold and unruly smile.
"Chen, every time you are sad, I want to..." A pair of soft lips kissed me, "Kiss you." Shen Qing's eyes were full of clear water and her eyebrows were as blue as indigo. Seeing me tremble slightly, she kissed me more passionately. I looked into her eyes and it seemed as if I saw another person.
Shen Qing is also a butterfly. She has flown past countless men but has never been able to fly into my heart.
"Shen Qing, I'm just playing with you." I turned my head. My voice was not particularly loud, but it was like a thunderbolt hitting her heart.
"I know." Shen Qing panted slightly, snuggled into my arms, sobbing, "I missed you so much. I wanted to see you so I came here overnight, but you're still the same, you don't like me, it's really annoying."
"Shen Qing..." I can't do anything with her.
She was startled and raised her head. Her face was charming and her tears immediately broke into laughter. "You don't know, I am made of water. In the past three years, I have wanted to cry when I was happy and when I was unhappy. You are the most hateful thief who stole my heart."
I was speechless for a moment.
"You always like to play this song 'Love of My Life'. Have you been hurt by a woman? Ah! I forgot that you hate me saying such things. Then I won't say it anymore." Shen Qing said coquettishly.
The evening breeze carries fragrance, and we stand silently in the night.
"Chen, sometimes when I see you standing there, I dare not approach you. I can't tell whether it is reality or illusion. I always feel far away from you. I want to love you well and don't want you to frown all the time." Shen Qing looked at the distant sky. The stars in the middle of the night were so bright that they made people intoxicated. She smiled at me evilly, "Let's start over, okay? Let's forget those unhappy things, okay? I love you, I love you so much."
A sexy voice cut through the silent starry sky. I lowered my head and saw Shen Qing's black hair fluttering in the wind. I stared at her red lips motionlessly.
Her face started burning, and the blood in my body started burning too.
Xiang Qianlan, there are thousands of butterflies in the world, and I don’t necessarily need you.
Without you, maybe I can try to accept others.
I tightened my arms and held Shen Qing tightly in my arms. I felt complicated and irritable inside, and a feeling of irritability spread instantly.
"Don't regret loving me."
"Never."
Silence enveloped the two of us. It seemed as if there were so many things we wanted to ask and say, but no one wanted to ruin the warmth of tonight.
I lowered my head and kissed her, and Shen Qing responded to me enthusiastically.
Gou Yue climbed up to the treetops, the wind grew stronger, and the clouds blocked the starlight. I looked at the blush on Shen Qing's face that extended all the way to her neck, and suddenly another pair of eyes appeared in my mind.
I picked up Shen Qing and carried her into the house. We hugged and kissed like we used to and did everything we should do.
As I watched Shen Qing fall asleep contentedly, my eyes became dark and intense.
I slowly raised my head, stood in front of the window, and lit a cigarette. The moonlight was like water, and the night wind blew in from the window, sweeping across my loose pajamas.
"you're awake."
I didn't care when Shen Qing woke up, as I didn't have the energy to say hello.
"Chen, I am the one who accompanies you. No matter who is hidden in your heart, you must understand this." Shen Qing's hands circled me from behind.
The night wind was cold, the insects were silent, I squinted my eyes and remained silent.
Shen Qing stood up and closed the window, but saw a light drizzle outside, merging with the mountains in the distance. I stared at the rain in a daze, stretched out my hand, and scooped up the coldness.
Zhang Ailing said that perhaps every man has had at least two such women, one as gentle as the white moonlight in the sky, and the other as hot as the red rose in the heart; if he marries the red rose, over time, the red will become a smear of mosquito blood on the wall, and the white will still be "the bright moonlight in front of the bed"; if he marries the white rose, the white will be a grain of rice stuck on his clothes, and the red will be a cinnabar mole on his heart.
Xiang Qianlan is a mole on my heart.
I poured out the rainwater in my hand and looked straight at Shen Qing. The wind that sneaked in made the white curtains dance in the wind, and under the moonlight and drizzle, a kind of quiet ambiguity flowed.
I looked at Shen Qing for a long time, then retracted my gaze and said calmly, "Shen Qing, why do you love me?"
Shen Qing leaned towards me casually, touched my lips with her index finger, and said lazily: "Me? Haha, I like to conquer men who don't love me."
"Oh, conquer."
I chuckled, with a barely perceptible hurt on my face.
I once tried my best to please a woman in order to conquer her. It's really ironic.
There was no light in the house, and the drizzle was making a sound. A lot of the rain had already drifted into the house. The wind made the windows creak, and the cold air enveloped us.
No one spoke in the room .
I kept my eyes closed, and the darkness made it impossible to see the moisture in the corners of my eyes.
I stood in the wind, letting the wind and rain wet my clothes, muttering to myself: "That black butterfly..."
"What butterfly..." Shen Qing's words were drowned in my kiss.
A trace of sadness rose in my heart.
It turns out that I will not fall for a woman. In this world, no one can't live without the other.
I don’t know, missing it means missing it for a lifetime.
Later, I married Shen Qing, and she conquered me with her infinite tenderness.
Many years later, when Shen Qing and I went to a small town for a trip, I met her by chance on the street, my black butterfly. She had a calm face and was buying candy with a child.
This was our first meeting since the wedding, and five years had passed in the blink of an eye.
My youth was frozen in her smile, then faded, grew old, and died.
The evening was beautiful that day. The blood-red sunset shone on her face. The hostility of her youth was no longer in her eyes. She and I met on a city wall. Her eyes fell on my ring finger, which immediately made my hand feel like it was on fire.
Just like the ending of "A Chinese Odyssey", Zhizunbao and Fairy Zixia met on the city wall, but we didn't kiss or hug.
"Is this your child with Sun Nuofan?" I asked her.
"No, Xiaoyi is my adopted child," she said.
Little memory...
"You...don't want children?" I asked her hesitantly.
"I'm not married." After a while, she said softly, "Sun Nuofan is dead."
I was speechless. In the silent air, except for my breathing, everything around me was so quiet that time seemed to have stopped. But I didn't move at all. I just looked into her eyes. I saw myself in her clear eyes.
Shen Qing was standing not far away. As smart as she was, she would definitely not come forward at this moment.
She also saw Shen Qing, and she must have seen the couple shirts we were wearing.
I said in a mysterious way: "If you just tell me, maybe I will come back to find you."
"I wasn't waiting for you."
"you still……"
"I'm fine, you're fine, and that's enough." She interrupted me. Her voice continued, but I could no longer hear anything.
I don't believe it. I don't believe this is where we're going to end up.
She took the child's hand, waved at me, and said to me, "Qi Beichen, goodbye."
The child imitated her and said to me sweetly, "Goodbye, uncle."
I stood there, watching them walk forward, just like she had watched me many years ago. I watched her walk down the city wall, out of my sight, and out of my world.
I know she won't come back.
Never again.
