postscript 02 Empty City · Shen Xiaoyu
The first time I saw Yao Yizhou playing the violin was at the New Year's Gala that year. He put the violin on his shoulder, leaned his head lightly, and half-closed his eyes. Although I don't know who he was thinking of at that time, I know that from that time on, there was only room for him in my eyes .
At that time, many girls secretly liked Yao Yizhou and wanted to confess their love to him. Later, I heard that when the girl in the next dormitory confessed her love to Yao Yizhou, he didn't even look at her. Instead, he frowned and asked, "Who are you? Do I know you?"
After dozens of girls fell in love with Yao Yizhou, many girls who regarded him as their prince charming backed off, and I was one of them.
In fact, every time I had the chance to be alone with Yao Yizhou, I had the urge to confess to him, but I was always afraid of being rejected by him and felt embarrassed, so I could only shyly suppress my inner love for him.
Until one day, I accidentally saw Yao Yizhou's eyes resting on Wen Ya gently and affectionately, and then I understood why he rejected so many girls. It turned out that he already had someone in his heart.
Wen Ya and I were bunk beds, and we had a good relationship. She was very nice to me, and it was impossible to hate her, especially since she already had a boyfriend, and her boyfriend was so outstanding. I knew that it was impossible for Wen Ya and Yao Yizhou to be together, but after I discovered Yao Yizhou's thoughts, every time I saw him and Wen Ya together, his face became more and more ugly.
However, I always had a glimmer of hope, so I told Wen Ya that I liked Yao Yizhou. As I expected, she was very happy to bring us together and had no other thoughts at all. It was only then that I realized that Wen Ya had no idea that Yao Yizhou was secretly in love with her.
At first, I hesitated whether or not to tell Wen Ya about this, but after thinking about it for a long time, I still didn't say it. I just thought that maybe Yao Yizhou chose to conceal it for his own considerations. He might be afraid of being rejected like me. After all, being rejected is not a pleasant feeling.
Wen Ya would always arrange dinners and try every possible way to bring Yao Yizhou and me together. I would always accept it silently, and I also believed that, as the saying goes, sincerity can move mountains and break rocks. If I continued to love her like this, one day Yao Yizhou would realize my existence, and his eyes would no longer chase Wen Ya. He would definitely see me standing beside him, and see me always smiling at him.
I persisted like this, but I never expected that I would persist for so many years. During these years, many classmates went their separate ways, but Wen Ya, her boyfriend , and Yao Yizhou, I and I were admitted to the same school.
In fact, when filling out the application form, I saw Yao Yizhou filling out Wen Ya's application form . Although I felt very painful, I had become accustomed to this kind of heartache over the years and did not think much of it. Instead, after Yao Yizhou copied Wen Ya's application form, he asked Wen Ya for the application form when he was resting at night.
I remember that day, I hesitated for a long time. At that time, I had two choices. The first was to give up Yao Yizhou and go to the school I wanted to go to and study the major I wanted to study. The second was to go to the school that Yao Yizhou applied for. Although the outcome between him and me was still unknown and our future was full of uncertainty, in the end, I still filled in the same school as Wen Ya.
In fact, I know that Wen Ya's application form was written according to Ji Chuan's application form, but Yao Yizhou loved her so much, and I loved Yao Yizhou so much, and we both fell in love and couldn't extricate ourselves.
After arriving at university, everything was the same as before. I originally thought that as long as I worked harder, I would be able to win Yao Yizhou's heart. But who could have expected that Ji Chuan, who once loved Wen Ya so much, would actually betray her and be intimate with another girl behind her back.
During that period, Wen Ya was like a completely different person. She no longer laughed as freely as before. Every time I saw her, she had a cold face. I knew that this failed relationship hurt her deeply, and Yao Yizhou and I did our best to accompany her, hoping that she could get out of the shadow of broken love as soon as possible.
That day, Wen Ya said she wanted to go home and didn't need me and Yao Yizhou to accompany her. Although Yao Yizhou agreed very well, he still followed Wen Ya from a distance. At that time, his whole heart and soul were on Wen Ya, and he didn't notice that when he followed Wen Ya, I was also following behind him, watching his back not far away.
Wen Ya went to the bar, Yao Yizhou stood at the door of the bar for a long time before going in, and I followed him in. Who knew that when I walked around the crowd to find him, I saw Yao Yizhou holding Wen Ya in his arms.
Yao Yizhou had his back to me and I couldn't see his face. Wen Ya seemed to see me, but she didn't push Yao Yizhou away. She just let him hold her. Wen Ya's behavior made me feel heartbroken.
It was at this moment that I truly understood that love cannot be forced. I have loved Yao Yizhou for so many years, but he has never even looked at me. There is only Wen Ya in his eyes and heart.
Perhaps it was time to make a decision. I thought to myself, maybe I could bless him, stop being a stumbling block for him, and fulfill his love for Wen Ya.
I really don’t know how I got through the following days. I was in a daze all day long until one day, a boy from the neighboring department suddenly confessed his love to me in a particularly grand confession ceremony.
That boy was really a stranger. I had only met him a few times and I couldn’t say that I had any feelings for him. It was just that he happened to appear when I needed , so I accepted his confession.
Later, Wen Ya came to me and asked me why I gave up Yao Yizhou. I smiled and told her, "I'm tired of waiting. Maybe this is the best ending for him and me. Maybe one day, I will smile and tell Yao Yizhou that there was a fool who loved you so much, but you didn't even look at her."
Wen Ya was a little absent-minded when I said this. I don’t know if she heard it, but I had said everything I wanted to say and I had no regrets.
One night, I suddenly received a call from Wen Ya. Her voice was intermittent, but I still heard her clearly that Yao Yizhou was in trouble. When I heard the news, I ran downstairs like crazy, took a taxi and went straight to People's Hospital.
When I arrived at the hospital, Yao Yizhou had already left this world forever, taking with him the love I had never expressed, as if he had never appeared. I squatted on the ground, crying my heart out until I was hoarse.
Although crying like this is useless for the passing of a life, crying is the only way to express my inner feelings at this time. I know that when Yao Yizhou left, he also took away everything of mine. My heart has become an empty city since then.
If I could do it all over again, I would definitely rush up to the stage and tell Yao Yizhou the first time I fell in love with him: "Yao Yizhou, I like you, be my boyfriend!"
