Life began to return to normal, and I started a simple life of going to work and going home.
Life started to become simpler and simpler. After that breakup, the boy named Lu Qingyu never contacted me again. My last impression of him was his deep and tearful eyes when we parted.
Such affectionate yet desperate eyes, and heart-wrenching sadness on the face.
But I know that there is a gap between us that is difficult to cross no matter what.
The ending between us was decided two years ago and can never be changed.
I know we are both innocent people, but fate wants us to be separated, what can I do?
I'm sorry, Lu Qingyu, I can't choose you and can't be with you, just like I can't give up my mother and brother who love me and can't give up my family affection.
If I really stay with you, it will only make everyone miserable.
I would rather suffer alone, would rather cry silently alone at night when I miss you, quietly watch the sun rise and set, watch the sky turn pale in the east, watch the sky brighten and then be swallowed by darkness.
I think, no matter what, one day you will forget the girl named Ning Jing. She was so ordinary, but she was favored by you, was deeply loved by you, held hands with you, and truly experienced what love is.
Even if we have to separate, the longing will still remain in my heart forever.
Just let me miss you secretly by myself, so it won’t hurt anyone, right?
Even when I think of you, I always can't help crying.
I thought we might never meet again in this life, but I don’t know whether it was fortunate or unfortunate that I met Lu Qingyu again.
It was a long time before Lu Qingyu and I met again.
The city in November already has the breath of early winter. Leaves are falling all over the ground, and the colorful city is becoming more and more monotonous. The sky is gradually changing from its original blue main color to white. Everything indicates that early winter is coming.
I was wearing a thick cotton coat, with my head lowered, standing in front of him without saying a word.
It seemed like such a long time had passed that when he stood in front of me, he no longer looked the same as when we first met, and he even seemed a little strange to me.
After that incident, my mother handed over all the evidence left by my father to the police. My father exchanged some of the evidence for money and hid the rest. He did it to save his life, but it ended up being his death warrant.
The police launched an investigation based on these clues and found out everything that happened two years ago. The Jiang family and the Lu family became a joke overnight.
When I saw all this on TV that day, I don’t know why, but I felt so sad that I cried.
I thought of Lu Qingyu, wondering where he was at this moment, and whether he was as sad as I was. As I thought about it, I could no longer suppress the sad feeling.
I always thought I was a very strong person. I could take good care of my mother, my younger brother, and my family. However, when it came to relationships, I always forgot to cry and forgot that I wasn’t that strong.
I am very worried about him. It is an unavoidable worry.
So I asked many people about the Lu family. I heard that the Lu family fell into poverty overnight and Lu Qingyu's parents were detained by the police.
Later, I found out that although the police investigation froze the Lu family’s assets overnight, Lu Qingyu did not fall into poverty thanks to the help of his grandfather’s family.
But the Jiang family ended up in a miserable way. The girl named Jiang Qianmo, the proud princess, was sent to her grandmother's home in the countryside after her parents were imprisoned.
It seemed as if everything changed overnight, or rather, everything returned to its original place.
I looked at Lu Qingyu, thinking about my worries silently.
His eyes were no longer as clear as when I first met them. They were full of vicissitudes and his smile was mixed with bitterness.
I looked at him, my heart was surrounded by sadness. I opened my mouth and wanted to say something, but in the end nothing came out.
In fact, I really want to ask him, if I do this, will he blame me, will he still hate me, will he...
But I didn't ask anything. I just looked at him silently, crying silently, and remained silent.
In fact, I haven't shed tears for a long time. Sometimes I always think that maybe if I stop crying, I can forget him sooner.
If I forget him sooner, maybe I won’t toss and turn in the middle of the night and stay awake all night.
Lu Qingyu also looked at me, and suddenly said softly: "Ningjing, I'm sorry."
He just whispered "I'm sorry" to me and then walked away. He didn't even turn his head to look at me, and left decisively.
After hearing what he said, my tears welled up. His “I’m sorry” might be because of the mistakes his parents made in the past, or because of his departure.
But no matter what, I know that everything between him and me, everything that happened in the past is drowned in these three words.
I knew that our relationship had come to an end, but it was not perfect.
Before, we always laughed and quarreled about breaking up, but we never really wanted to break up. But this time, I knew that there was no possibility between him and me anymore, and we really parted ways completely and cut off all ties.
He will never come back, and I can't find the way back. Perhaps on this road of love, we have all walked too hard and too tired. We always pretend to be strong, smiling and saying that we have no regrets and will not retreat, but in the end we find that if we are strong for too long, we will be in a dilemma.
On this road of love, we only care about loving and being strong, but forget to cry along the way.
I squatted down, and in the cold of early winter, I couldn't control myself anymore and burst into tears.
I squatted on the ground and cried for a long time. My heart was so sad. I thought, I should let out all the tears I had held back. Those tears I forgot to shed should be used to repay this love.
I squatted there and cried for a long time, until my legs became numb, then I stood up and wiped away my tears.
I turned around and saw Ning Yuan standing not far away waiting for me. Ever since he knew the truth, he seemed to have grown up overnight. He became more like a man and more responsible.
I silently looked in the direction where Lu Qingyu had just left, and shouted loudly in my heart: Lu Qingyu, goodbye!
Lu Qingyu, goodbye!
Lu Qingyu, take good care of yourself!
Lu Qingyu, we must all take good care of ourselves, be well and happy.
Even if you are the scar that I can never erase in my lifetime.
I bit my lips tightly, wiped the tears from my face, and turned around decisively, as if waving goodbye to the past.
I knew that Ning Yuan was waiting for me far away, and my mother had already prepared dinner and was waiting for us at home.
I also know that perhaps this turn is just a new beginning.
And all the scars of the past, after being baptized by time, will one day become irreplaceable medals of our years.
I know that love is the same.