DIARY Six If we could only be friends 2
Cold sweat kept coming out of his forehead and his lips were trembling.
what do I do?
what to do?
Chen appeared at that time, but now he is not here, what should I do?
Why doesn't my ear disease flare up now? If it did, I wouldn't have to hear those words from them, and I wouldn't have to repeat the nightmares from my childhood. But I can't control these, their mocking voices still linger in my eardrums like a demonic sound...
Just when I raised my hands to cover my ears, my hands were suddenly grabbed by someone.
I looked up in astonishment and met Uehara Cheye's unusually serious eyes.
"let's go!"
His voice was clear, with an unusual tone.
I couldn't help but stumble behind him as we walked out. Not even the ringing of the school bell could stop us.
Yuan Cheye's hand holding mine was as warm and cool as crystal, but the feeling that reached my heart was extremely warm.
But now, everything seems to have no meaning...
Many pictures of me and Yuan Cheye flashed through my mind: the first time I went to his house... that evening when I sat on his motorcycle... the picture of him picking up another girl this morning...
And he who just asked me to help choose a girl and now he is so serious and determined.
Which one is the real him?
I have no idea.
I don't know what he is doing now! If he doesn't like me, why does he bother me again? I don't need his sympathy and pity at all!
"let me go!"
He dragged me to the back of the teaching building, and I struggled to pull my hand out of his grasp.
But he held it tightly.
But I was determined, so my hand finally slipped away from his palm little by little.
Until there is nothing between your fingers.
Then, the two of them stood there in silence, and the atmosphere suddenly became somewhat depressing and awkward.
"Do you hate me?" Yuan Cheye looked at me steadily, and the message in his eyes made me feel vaguely uneasy.
"Now think clearly that your confession that day was just a momentary impulse, right?" He continued, leaning down, his face closer to mine, his straight eyes seeming to look through the depths of my heart.
"What are you talking about?" I took a step back for no apparent reason, feeling suddenly empty inside.
"Haha, didn't you say you liked me? But you see, liking someone can't last long! From that day till now, it hasn't even been a week, right? You can't stand it anymore, so you want to throw away your love, right?"
The expression on his face seemed to be smiling, but I was stunned in surprise, and then a huge feeling of anger and sadness surged into my heart.
It turns out that he took my confession that day to heart, and he remembered that I said I liked him. But he...
"Do you hate me?"
"Now think clearly that the confession you made that day was just an impulse, right?"
"Haha, didn't you say you liked me? But you see, liking someone can't last long! From that day till now, it hasn't even been a week, right? You can't stand it anymore, so you want to throw away your love, right?"
He doesn't know anything at all, so why does he say such things?
Why do you misunderstand me like this? Is it because he doesn't like me?
"Yuan Cheye, you pig, you self-righteous guy, you bastard!" I couldn't hold back my tears, which flowed down like pearls. "You obviously know that I like you, why do you still ridicule me like this? I hate you! I hate you! How could you do this? Do you think it's funny to say these hurtful words to me? Or do you think that the fact that I like you is just a ridiculous joke?"
The hot liquid flowing out of his eyes blurred my vision, but Yuan Cheye just stood there and looked at me motionlessly, without any intention of apologizing. After a while, he laughed for no apparent reason.
This time I cried even harder.
Through my tearful eyes, a gentle hand touched my cheek, and the tip of the thumb gently wiped away the tears that were pouring out. I knew who it was without even looking, and I angrily tried to push him away with my hands, but I had no strength in my body.
"I didn't mean to ridicule you by saying those words just now." After a while, I heard Yuan Cheye say this, his voice sincere and serious, "I'm sorry if I made you sad."
After a pause, his tone became inexplicably low: "I know you like me, but I can't like you..."
"Why not?" I immediately forgot to cry, raised my head and asked back.
"I don't know. Maybe... I just lack the ability to like people." After a long silence, he answered hesitantly.
"You're lying!" I immediately yelled angrily, the stack of girls' information flooding my mind, "You obviously like those girls, how could you lack the ability to like people?"
"Really?" This time Yuan Cheye didn't seem to intend to deny it. "Haha, maybe it's just that I lack the ability to like you..." He said with a calm smile.
There seemed to be a devil's hand hidden in the words that came out of his mouth. That hand tightly grasped my throat, my breath was almost suffocated, and my body couldn't help but tremble slightly.
My lips were bitten so hard that they hurt.
Maybe it's because I lack the ability to like you...
It turns out that this is the cruel truth hidden behind it.
All this time, I had been hanging around him like a fool, confidently thinking that as long as I put my heart and effort into it, I could make him feel my sincerity.
But it turns out that all these were just my own self-righteous thoughts.
"Okay! In that case, I will never bother you again."
I wiped the tears from my face, didn't look at him again, turned around and left angrily. But just as I took a step, my right hand was tightly grabbed. Then, a warm embrace hugged me from behind.
The rich scent of roses came towards me. My body froze, and I felt dizzy and at a loss for a few seconds.
Yuan Cheye, what is he going to do? Is this obvious move to keep me? After saying such cruel words to me, what is he thinking in his heart? Does he have something else to say to me?
Thinking of this, I suddenly became nervous.
God bless!
Don't get sick this time.
I must not fail to hear it again, I don’t want to miss anything again!
I stood there blankly, allowing Yuan Cheye to hold me tightly, with my ears perked up, waiting for him to speak.
Time seems particularly long at this moment.
The hot air from his mouth, with its warm temperature, rushed to my slightly cold earlobe. But I didn't wait for the expected sound, and began to feel uneasy, and my whole body was tense.
As if he noticed the stiffness in my body, his arms around me loosened a little.
"We..." Yuan Cheye finally spoke, but he was still obviously hesitant. I waited patiently, my fingers gradually tightening, almost digging into my flesh.
Don't be nervous, don't be nervous! Yesiya!
It's fine.
Listen to him! All you have to do is listen to him!
"... Let's be friends... Can we just be friends?"
Everything around was quiet and time stopped.
I could clearly feel Yuan Cheye's unstable heartbeat on my back.
"Shia, I mean, can we just be friends?"
His voice was a little hoarse, as if it took him a lot of effort to say these words.
...Let’s be friends...Can we just be friends?
…I mean, can we just be friends?
Suddenly, I wished I hadn't heard anything.
But...I did hear it.
It must be so sad and make you want to cry when the person you like tells you that we can only be friends, right?
But I can't cry at all now.
"Don't you want to?" Yuan Cheye slowly let go of my hand in disappointment, letting me out of his arms.
To be honest, of course I don't want to.
If you can only be friends with someone you love so much, you have to hide your longing, hide your love, and hide your heavy sadness even more.
But...if you like someone, doesn't it mean you should make him happy and give him the best choice?
Since this is his choice, I should obey it, right? Because I like him so much!
"Well, okay, I promise you. We...will just be friends."
I turned around and stared into Yuan Cheye's eyes. The light brown color in his eyes was glowing with warmth, which made my blood take on a new temperature.
"Xia..." Yuan Cheye also looked at me, a very faint strange light flashed across his eyes, and disappeared in a flash.
I stared into his eyes quietly. For the first time, I discovered how deep they were, as if countless secrets were hidden deep in them.
I remembered the secret we mentioned when we were watching the night view together that night. Yuan Cheye did not deny it at that time. Maybe there really is a secret hidden in his heart? Maybe he can't like me because of that secret. His occasional lonely and sad smile, and his distressing back, may all be because of that secret I don't know.
As if he noticed my gaze, a bright smile reappeared on Yuan Cheye's face. He smiled and touched my head: "Stupid, let's go back..."
Then he turned and walked forward silently.
The wind blew his dazzling golden hair, and his whole body exuded an unreal aesthetic aura.
The rustling of leaves seemed to hint at the secrets that both of us were reluctant to tell.
On the way back to the classroom, Yuan Cheye and I were silent.
Everyone was in class at this time, and the whole journey was quiet. A special atmosphere lingered around us, quietly enveloping the two figures walking in the sun.
None of us took the initiative to break this strange atmosphere.
When we were very close to the classroom, I suddenly stopped moving forward. Yuan Cheye behind me suddenly braked and almost bumped into me.
"What's wrong?"
"Well..." I paused and pushed him to the front, "You take the lead!"
I calculated the time and realized that the class should have started for more than ten minutes. I felt a little guilty for walking in like that.
Yuan Cheye walked in front very loyally. When our figures appeared at the door of the classroom together, there was immediately a burst of booing from inside in a very "cooperative" manner.
"Look, they're back."
"Wow! They went out hand in hand just now, why aren't they coming back hand in hand now?"
"Are you stupid? The teacher is here now."
I heard every word of the discussion. The history teacher, who was concentrating on writing on the blackboard, turned around, stared at us suspiciously and asked, "Where have you been? Why are you late?"
"Haha. Hi, teacher. Sorry, we have something to do..." Yuan Cheye raised his hand and touched his hair, smiling brightly. I kept hiding behind him and didn't dare to say a word.
"What did they just say?" The history teacher had a look of impending storm on his face. "Very good! Very good! Very good!"
"Very good, very good" is our history teacher's favorite phrase. The more excited he is, the more he likes to say these two words. Now he said "very good" three times in a row, which almost made me breathless.
Yuan Cheye and I looked at each other in tacit understanding, and unexpectedly thought of the same trick: act crazy and stupid!
"Hehe...thank you for your concern, teacher. We are indeed doing well."
"Hehe... I'm so touched. I didn't expect the teacher to care about us so much. I can't help but burst into tears."
“Wuwuwu…”
Yuan Cheye and I cooperated with each other and pretended to be very professional.
"Shut up!" The history teacher was so excited that he looked like he was struck by lightning. He stared at us angrily with his eyes wide open. "Don't think the teacher is stupid! Tell me the truth. Where did you go when you skipped class just now?"
"We..." I didn't dare to meet the teacher's gaze, so I lowered my head, not knowing what to say.
"What are you hiding? Tell the teacher honestly that we are going to develop our relationship." Yuan Cheye put away his smile and said something shocking.
"ah!!!"
"ah!!!"
All the students in the classroom and the history teacher exclaimed in unison, and so did I.
I stared at Yuan Cheye in shock, and couldn't help but wail in my heart: This is terrible! His fame is going to be ruined like this...
But Yuan Cheye calmly began his long speech:
"Ahem, let me explain. I recently discovered that Ye Xiya is a very good classmate. She found my lost wallet a while ago and immediately returned it to me intact. I wanted to treat her to a meal but she refused. She is very friendly. So I thought what is the meaning of life if I can't be friends with such a person? I have always wanted to be her good friend, but she never gave me a chance. Until just now when she encountered difficulties and was in a bad mood, I thought it was time to repay her, so I took her out to relax and comfort her. Now we are really friends."
Yuan Cheye finished speaking quickly and then clapped his hands. Everyone was stunned.
Only I realized that the first half of what he said was a lie and the second half was the truth, and the implication was also to tell the history teacher that we were just friends.
I saw that the history teacher still had a puzzled look on his face, so I quickly agreed, "Yes, Yuan Cheye and I are friends now, and friends should be united and friendly."
"Hey, hey, explain it clearly..." The history teacher tried hard to sort out the long paragraph he had just said, but unfortunately the bell rang at this moment.
Yuan Cheye blinked at me mysteriously and smiled even more brightly.
"Thank you! We have said so much to explain it clearly. Now that the teacher understands, let's go back to our seats and prepare to preview the content of the next class."
After saying that, we quickly slipped into the classroom without waiting for the teacher to express his opinion, and pretended to pick up a book and start reading.
The history teacher was very angry but had no place to vent, so he had to leave in disappointment.
“Success!”
Yuan Cheye turned around and made a victory sign to me. I smiled at him.
The sunlight outside was so bright that it made his eyes look unusually bright.
I looked at him quietly. Now he and I are really good friends, right?
Maybe this would be a good start.
When I got home from school, I took out my diary from my schoolbag and sat there in a daze.
How could the diary I gave to Yuan Cheye be missing? That was a gift I carefully selected, and it had a very special meaning to me.
The beautiful and sad white feather on the cover is just like my current mood. Although the other diary has been lost and I can’t exchange secrets with Yuan Cheye, I still decided to finish writing mine.
I told myself in my diary that even just existing as friends is another kind of happiness.
