Chapter Eight 1
"I like you."
Ruiqing's voice was very abrupt in the empty subway station. I shrugged helplessly. Was he confessing his love? It turned out that confessing love could be so arrogant.
Eh? Is today April Fools' Day?
I lowered my head and counted on my fingers. No, it’s been almost two months since April Fool’s Day.
"What do you like about me?"
I am really curious about this question, because Ruiqing should be a boy who is very popular with girls. I said "probably" because Xiaoyi kept telling me that someone from Class 1, someone from Class 3, and someone else were all chasing him. But in my opinion, I really don't know what these girls think. What's so good about this boy who is always cynical? By analogy, what's so good about a confused girl like me? Why does he like me?
"Ruya, I like you because you are you." Ruiqing suddenly put away the rogue smile on his face, lowered his head and looked into my eyes seriously, "Because you are the only one and cannot be replaced. This is the kind of person I like."
How should I answer? Oh my god, can anyone tell me how I should answer? This is the first time in so many years that someone has said something like this to me. Woohoo… If I had known this day would come, I should have read a few more romance novels like Xiaoyi to see how the heroines deal with such situations.
"Ruiqing, I, I'm actually very stupid and silly, and not pretty, I..." God is my witness, I'm not being modest, I really don't think there's anything likable about me. I'm confused all day long, how can I be likable?
"Even if you don't accept me, you don't have to belittle yourself like this." He reached out and pulled me to him. For the first time, I didn't push him away because I didn't know what reason to use to push him away. He gently grabbed my shoulders, asked me to turn around and face the billboard of the subway station, looking at our figures reflected on it, and then gently rubbed my hair.
"Ruya, even though you are confused, I like you like this. I see every expression and every movement of yours. I just like the real you, and..." He paused, and a smile appeared on his serious face again, but this time his smile was very light, and seemed to be sincere. "You are very beautiful, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen."
"The most beautiful?" I felt a little dizzy. I don't know why, but Xin Xin's face flashed before my eyes. Her long brown hair, big almond eyes, slightly upturned thick eyelashes, lips always painted with pink lip gloss, and a look of superiority. Only such a person can be called beautiful. So who is more beautiful, her or me?
I looked at myself on the glass of the billboard carefully. My straight black hair was tied into the most ordinary ponytail, I was wearing a school uniform, my eyes were red, and my face was a little pale because of the anger just now. How could I compare to her like this? No wonder he... My heart ached again, and I quickly closed my eyes, not wanting anyone to see my vulnerability.
"Do you really like him?"
I heard Ruiqing's lost voice behind me. I didn't open my eyes or look back, but just nodded weakly.
I really like him, but he has missed me. Tsurugahara, I am not the one you like after all, right? Then why do you want to date me? Why?
I smiled bitterly. Maybe it was just like what Xiaoyi said. I, a blockhead, would never figure it out. I was so tired. I didn't know if it was because I had used up too much energy running just now, or because I was exhausted. I felt so tired that I couldn't hold on any longer.
"Maybe, my liking for him is really just my own business." I spoke softly, as if I was talking to Ruiqing, or as if I was talking to myself.
"I understand." Rui Qing said lightly and said nothing more.
On the way home, I called my head teacher and told him that I was not feeling well and wanted to take two days of sick leave. This time, the head teacher did not make it difficult for me and agreed very readily. He also kindly told me to have a good rest and get well soon.
"It's a bit cold today." Ruiqing and I walked side by side on the street at dusk. The cool breeze gently blew up the hem of my school uniform. The suddenly lifted hem was like a blue flower, shivering in the cold wind.
"Are you cold?" Ruiqing stopped, took a look at my thin school uniform, then took off his coat and was about to put it on my shoulders, but I avoided him.
"I'm not cold." Seeing Ruiqing's eyes dimmed in an instant, I felt a little bit reluctant, but I couldn't lie to myself, let alone someone who likes me. I can't give him any hope if I don't like him. This is the most useful sentence Xiaoyi taught me, because she said that a person should never hurt someone who really likes him.
"One thought at a glance, one thought of persistence..." The familiar melody sounded again, and I reflexively looked at my phone. When I saw the black screen, I remembered that I had turned off the phone the moment I hung up Tsurugahara's call. So what was this ringtone...
I looked up and saw Ruiqing listening to the phone with a gloomy face. The knuckles of his hand holding the phone had turned white from excessive force.
"I know, since you have all made up your mind, why are you asking me?" Ruiqing almost shouted the last sentence. When he hung up the phone, I seemed to see the pain flashing in his eyes.
"What's wrong?" I asked softly.
"Humph! It's nothing." He snorted coldly, as if he didn't care at all. "Mom and Dad are divorced, I..." He chuckled, "I was just abandoned."
After saying that, Ruiqing raised his feet and continued to walk forward step by step. I followed behind him and looked at him quietly. His slender figure looked very lonely in the dusk. The elongated shadow drifted around on the asphalt road like a lone soul, with nowhere to rest.
Parents divorced, abandoned, such cruel words, he said it so easily, how much pain was he in? I suddenly remembered the scene when I went to his house last time, the battlefield-like room, Ruiqing who was so sick but no one cared about him, now I understand everything.
I looked at his lonely back, and a bitter feeling came over me. How much suffering and pain did he endure alone? How much loneliness and desolation was behind his daily smile?
I don't know where I got the courage from, I suddenly rushed up and hugged him from behind. I didn't want to do anything, I just wanted to comfort him, I wanted to tell him that he was not just one person, he also had me.
"Cry it out, it's okay to cry." I said softly behind him. I don't know what I can give him, except comfort, I just want to give him as much warmth as possible, just like he gave me warmth when I was unhappy.
Ruiqing's body stiffened, and then he pulled my arm and slowly turned around, his eyes full of sadness, his tightly pursed lips slightly opened: "Ruya, can I depend on you in the future?"
"Of course, silly."
It was almost dusk when I got home. I leaned against the window, feeling listless like a plant without water. Ruiqing sent me to the door and left. Dad was on a business trip. He called Mom to ask where she was. She said she would work overtime until midnight and might not be back, so I had to make something to eat.
Looking at the empty room, I felt even more saddened by the emptiness in my heart.
I hugged the soft teddy bear and gently leaned my face against the glass. The cool feeling seemed to ease the boredom in my heart.
I looked up at the sky outside the window. Thick cumulus clouds pressed heavily on the sky. The leaves were rustling in the wind, like women dancing wildly, twisting their waists to the beat of the wind.
“Woof woof woof…”
I was lying there in a daze, but was brought back to my thoughts by a subtle sound. I looked up and saw a remote-controlled plane flying outside the window, with a small bamboo basket tied under the plane, and in the basket was a cute white puppy. It was the puppy that made the sound that interrupted my wandering thoughts.
“Woof woof!”
The puppy barked twice, its big watery eyes looked at me pitifully, its furry body huddled into a small ball, its pink ears trembling slightly. I looked down, although my house is on the second floor, it should be considered terribly high for such a small puppy.
"How pitiful." I opened the window, the wind blew my hair, and the ends of my hair gently brushed my face. I stroked my hair gently, smiled and reached out to hold it in, "Okay, okay, don't be afraid, baby."
I gently stroked its furry little head, and the little guy licked my fingers fearlessly and wagged its tail at me as if to please me, which made me laugh. My depressed mood today seemed to improve a lot.
"What a cute little guy, how did you get here?" I gently poked its furry little head with my index finger, "Huh? What is this?" I frowned, I didn't even notice that there was a card and a rose tied to the puppy's body.
The delicate and beautiful roses looked exceptionally gorgeous next to the snow-white puppy. The green calyx seemed to hold up a flame, and the red petals were slightly curled, revealing the delicate stamens inside. A burst of fragrance lingered in the room. The red rose symbolizes love, right? Who gave me such a thing?
I opened the card with suspicion, and the neat and elegant words on it quietly appeared before my eyes -
Dear Ruya,
Can I call you this? I'm sorry, everything that happened today is my fault. I'm sorry, can you please listen to my explanation? This puppy is my apology gift. Can we call her Yaya from now on?
Your He Yuan
"Your Heyuan." I whispered softly, Tsuru Heyuan, when did you become mine?
"Ruya--" I was staring at the card in a daze when a voice brought me back to reality.
"Ruya, it's me." There was a man standing downstairs, wearing a gray sportswear, with slightly long black hair and an elegant and slender figure. This familiar figure... was him! But at this moment, his face lacked that calm and composed smile, and instead looked a little haggard and worried.
"Please give me a chance?" he said sincerely.
He is like a prince and wants me to give him a chance. Am I dreaming? Is this just another dream?
I stood in front of the window holding the puppy, motionless as if I was cast into a spell. I didn't know how to face him, whether I should accept his apology, and now I was unsure about everything about him. I was like a lost child, standing at a fork in the road, not knowing whether to go left or right.
"Woof!" The little thing in my arms twisted restlessly. I lowered my head and looked at the card and the blooming rose in my hand again. I bit my lip, picked up the puppy, turned around and walked out.
The wind started to blow, and thick clouds rolled across the sky, exuding a suffocating sense of oppression. The light seemed to be eaten away bit by bit by the dark clouds, and the plants in the flowerbed seemed so fragile in such a strong wind, just like him and I standing in the wind at this moment.
"You're here." He was still so gentle.
"Yeah." I nodded, then gently put the puppy in my arms into his arms.
"Ruya, listen to my explanation." He took the puppy from my hand and looked at me sadly, "Xin Xin and I really have nothing to do with each other, please believe me."
It doesn't matter? What can I say? Is everything I saw with my own eyes fake?
"She likes me and has confessed to me, but I have never accepted her." Seeing that I remained silent, he, who was always elegant, was so anxious that he grabbed my arm.
"Didn't you accept her? But didn't you say on your birthday that you had someone you liked? Just now you were talking to her..." The unforgettable scene appeared in front of my eyes again.
"I did say that I have someone I like, but that person is you!"
He suddenly tightened his grip on my hand. I looked up in disbelief. "What did you say? The person you like is me?"
How is that possible? What is Tsurugahara talking about? I shook my head in panic, not believing my ears.
"You are the one I love, and you are the only one. That has never changed." Tsurugahara looked at me tenderly, just as I had seen him in my dreams countless times. If I hadn't been disappointed and heartbroken so many times, I would have chosen to believe him without hesitation, and then thrown myself into his arms to embrace the prince in my dreams, but now...
"I..." I pursed my lips and spoke with difficulty, "So what did you say to her just now..."
"Xin Xin and I really have no relationship, and there will never be any relationship. I just don't know how to reject others." He paused, looked into my eyes seriously and said, "Ruya, I won't be with someone I don't like, please believe me, okay?"
He took my left hand and pressed it gently on his chest. The strong heartbeat was transmitted to me from my fingertips bit by bit, and my heart trembled slightly.
I remember asking my mother when I was very young why wedding rings are worn on the ring finger of the left hand. My mother said that it is because that is where the heart is connected, and love can only last until old age if it is combined in the place where the heart is connected.
Is this the place where the heart is connected? I stared at my fingertips, and his heart was beating one by one, so clear and so real.
"Ruya, listen to my heart, it won't lie."
Under the dim sky, his eyes were as clear as stars and full of sincerity. The wind ruffled his hair and blew up his clothes, but he was still so elegant. He looked at , as if he wanted to see through my thoughts.
Should I believe him? Should I forgive him? Can I?
I asked myself these questions over and over again, but I didn't know how to answer them. I used to like him so much that I could do anything for him, but I was hurt too many times. I still like him, but I don't want to spend those tearful nights alone anymore, because I'm afraid I don't have the strength to bear the next hurt.
"Ruya..." His voice rang out again in the wind. I bit my lips hard and slowly took my hand off his chest. The moment my fingertips left him, a chill instantly spread through my body. I missed his warmth, but I knew I couldn't be greedy anymore.
"I'm sorry, He Yuan." I lowered my head and said in a trembling voice, "I, I don't know what to do now. I'm sorry, I have to go back, you should go back too."
After saying that, I turned around and ran towards home without looking back. I didn't dare to look back, let alone stop, because I was afraid that I would be soft-hearted, forgive him, and get hurt again.
