Past, present, Future.
I like you the most.
Even if I look like a fool, I still want to be with you.

I pushed open the door of the classroom with a "pop" sound, and everyone's eyes fell on my face. I walked straight into the classroom and pulled up Tang Ruize, who was obviously confused about the situation.
"Sorry, I have something to talk to classmate Tang about!" I said this and dragged Tang Ruize out of the classroom by grabbing his school uniform tie.
I heard some chatter behind me and I closed the classroom door with a snap.
I dragged Tang Ruize all the way out of the teaching building. Tang Ruize didn't say a word and didn't resist me.
I walked until I was exhausted before I let go of her hand. Tang Ruize looked at me quietly and said, "I wonder what Yun Que wants to talk to Tang about?"
"Date! Go on a date with me!" I shouted.
Tang Ruize stretched out his hand, and when he was about to touch my head, he tapped my forehead hard.
"What kind of date is this kid?"
"Then make me happy!" I squatted on the ground with my chin on my knees, "Make me laugh!"
“Really…”
Tang Ruize squatted in front of me and looked at my face. I knew that my expression must be very sad.
There was no way for me to forget, and no way for me to move forward; my feet were still stuck in the mire.
"That guy..." Tang Ruize's tone suddenly became cold. He pulled me up from the ground and dragged me forward. "You guys are having physical education class, right?"
"Yeah, what's wrong?" I didn't understand what Tang Ruize was going to do for a moment.
"Shut up!" He seemed very angry, grabbed my arm and led me back to the playground.
The physical education class had not yet ended and the classmates were still on the playground. When they saw Tang Ruize and I coming back together, everyone gave me meaningful looks.
Tang Ruize looked around the crowd but didn't see Shu Haining.
"Classmate, do you know where Shu Haining went? " Tang Ruize asked a girl with a smile.
The girl blushed and her heart started beating: "Okay, it looks like we're going to the infirmary."
"Thank you." Tang Ruize thanked me very politely, then turned around, put on a gloomy expression again, and continued to drag me towards the infirmary.
The infirmary was not far from the playground. Tang Ruize kicked the door of the infirmary open with a "clang". The school doctor was startled and was about to say something when he saw Tang Ruize's unfriendly expression.
"School doctor, please ignore any noise coming from inside." Tang Ruize said, pulling me into the lounge, closing the door and locking it.
There was a person lying on the bed by the window. It was Shu Haining.
I had a bad feeling in my heart. Tang Ruize came running over angrily. He shouldn't be here to play house with Shu Haining. What was he doing here?
My doubts didn't last long, because the next second, Tang Ruize rushed to Shu Haining, grabbed Shu Haining by the collar, and punched Shu Haining in the stomach.
"You bastard!" Tang Ruize growled, "How sad do you want that guy to be for you?"
"Huh?" My mind went blank. In my impression, would Tang Ruize, who has always been gentle and introverted, fight with others?
No, now isn't the time to focus on this kind of thing!
"Look at her! Look at her carefully!" Tang Ruize grabbed Shu Haining's collar and forced him to look at my face. "Little Yunque has been a girl who seldom cries since she was a child, but do you know how many times you have made her cry? Oh, you don't know, how could you know? Because you only give your pitiful compassion to those disgusting girls."
"If you want to do that, don't be fickle! Because of you, she is still alive ten years ago, can't you see? She has always been the little girl who loved astronomy ten years ago. She loves the sky so much, but because of you, she chose this ridiculous finance. If you want to let go, please don't provoke her; if you can't let her go, please make it clear with Hua Yuemian!
"Xiao Yunque is not a girl who can be hurt by you at will. She is my most precious sister! Do you know how long it takes me to make her smile again every time you make her sad? Why can you keep doing this? What exactly do you want her to do?" Tang Ruize threw Shu Haining out with force.
With a "clang", Shu Haining fell at my feet, and I subconsciously took a step back.
"Because there is no other way." Shu Haining's voice was low. If the infirmary had not been so quiet, perhaps no one would have heard what he said. "I can't forget. I can't erase the feelings that Yun Que left in my heart. I tried, I tried very hard again and again, but when she wanted to leave me, all my efforts were in vain.
"I don't want to be a stranger with her who we can pass by without talking, but I don't know what to do. I know I'm terrible. I always make her cry, and I always turn around and leave after making her cry."
"You like her, right?" Tang Ruize asked lightly.
"Yes, I like it. I have always liked it." Shu Haining raised his head and looked at me. His blue eyes seemed as deep as the sky. "How could anyone not like Skylark?"
"You don't like it!" I almost blurted out, "What are you joking! If you like me, but always push me away because of the so -called self -blame, this likes me would rather not want it!" After I finished, I turned away.
I opened the door and walked away without looking back.
After I left, Shu Haining slowly sat down on the floor in the lounge.
"What are you going to do?" Tang Ruize asked coldly, "Xiao Yunque has already said that, give up, Shu Haining, your love is just this much . I warn you, if you dare to make her cry again, I will definitely not show mercy. If you dare to make her show that expression again, I will make you die ugly."
"I won't let her cry again." Shu Haining said softly, "I had prepared myself mentally to never see Yun Que again, because I knew that as long as I took one look at her, I would definitely fall in love with her. By then, I would not be able to fulfill my promise to Hua Yuemian, but it was meaningless. Even if I had made that preparation, it still couldn't stop me from seeing her in an instant. That day I saw you and Yun Que in the corridor of the teaching building. When I noticed that she was looking at me, I deliberately turned my head away. Later, after school, on the busy main campus road, I saw her so closely, and saw you beside her, and I really cared about who you were to her. At that time, I knew that everything I did was in vain. I wanted to see her, even though I knew I couldn't be with her, I still wanted to see her.
"That time in the library, she was only fifty centimeters away from me. She didn't know that I wanted to take out a book to meet her, but Hua Yuemian came. My sense of responsibility didn't allow me to do that, so even though there was only a fifty centimeters distance, I still didn't meet her, thinking that it would be nice if I could look her in the eye next time. The next day after that, she was in the classroom next to mine. When the class was over, everyone in the class was talking about the transfer student. I didn't need to go to the bathroom, but I still walked out of the classroom and passed by her window. I did meet her eyes, but I still didn't have the courage to meet her.
"On the day the college entrance exam ended, I kept looking for her in the crowd. I saw her go to my classroom and I wanted to talk to her, so I followed her. I couldn't help myself that day and finally met her. Like fools, we played this self-deceiving hide-and-seek game."
"I really lost to you ." Tang Ruize sighed, "If that's the case, why are you still confused? Even if Hua Yuemian gets hurt, it's not your fault. Do you plan to let Yun Que fly away just because of something like this? If you don't want her, I won't be polite to you."
"Hua Yuemian... After Yun Que walked away from me that day, I couldn't think about Hua Yuemian at all. I always felt that it didn't matter. Because it was Yun Que who occupied my whole heart. It has always been just Yun Que. There is no extra space to accommodate other people. But I didn't understand this until now."
"Do you really like that guy?" Tang Ruize asked.
"When I was little, Yunque always liked to say a lot of things to me that I couldn't understand. I was actually very anxious at that time. I wanted to respond to her topics, but I couldn't do it at all. The only thing I could do was to listen to her quietly." Shu Haining smiled gently, "In fact, I was not good at studying, but in order to keep up with her, I became the first in the grade. When Yunque left, I really blamed myself. I thought if it was because I was not good enough that Yunque wanted other friends, and if it was because I could never keep up with her that she felt lonely.
"Later, I read a lot of books, thinking that one day she would come back and talk to me about the stars in the sky, so that I could respond to her instead of just listening to her." Shu Haining said, "I don't know what it feels like to love someone, but at that time I felt that I must love Skylark the most in the world."
Sitting in the classroom, there were prying eyes everywhere. I propped up my chin and looked out the window. There were white clouds and blue sky. What a beautiful world.
Shu Haining did not come back to class and no one knew where he went.
Was he beaten by Tang Ruize so badly that he couldn't come to class?
But I felt a little relieved that he was not around.
I don’t know why, but some past events keep coming back to my mind .
Even including the incident ten years ago that I pushed deep into the bottom of my memories and decided not to think about it again in my life.
"Haining, do you know dark matter? It is said that 95% of the universe is dark matter." I was six years old, holding a book and pestering Shu Haining to talk.
But Shu Haining never responded to me, but it doesn’t matter. As long as there is someone willing to listen to me, I feel that the words I say are not meaningless.
"Haining, every star in the sky is actually bigger than the sun, and the stars we see are starlight from billions of years ago. Those stars may no longer exist. Starlight is actually the corpse of the star."
"Haining, the things in fairy tales are all lies. Snow White is so white, she must have a disease called albinism. And the ugly duckling, that's a genetic mutation."
All I can think of are things like this, I was the one talking and he was listening.
But when was such a memory buried by something else?
"Haining, why is everyone afraid of me?"
That was when I started first grade. Because I had never attended class properly but still managed to get full marks in every subject, someone said I was a weird person. So everyone was afraid of me and didn’t want to talk to me or even look me in the eye.
"Haining, everyone hates me..." I was so depressed. I squatted in front of Shu Haining, who was the same age as me, and wanted to cry, but I couldn't.
Even though people hate me, it's just one of the things that frustrates me.
"Haining, why do you always say nothing?" The seven-year-old me looked at Shu Haining with a melancholy face. In fact, I must have felt lonely at that time.
It's always cold at high places. When I'm there, no one can come in. There's only me. It's a void that can never be warmed up no matter what.
"I've decided. I want to be friends with everyone!" So one day, the seven-year-old me said this to Shu Haining.
It was also at this time that Hua Yuemian officially became the heroine of this memory.
When I was in school, everyone bullied me. They threw my books, my schoolbag, and even deliberately poured water on me. I didn't understand why I was treated like this because I didn't hurt anyone.
Later, I read Shishuo Xinyu and found this sentence: "I didn't kill Bo Ren, but Bo Ren died because of me."
Sometimes the light is too bright, and even if you do nothing, it is enough to make many children hate you.
Even though I was always playing, I always scored better than Hua Yuemian who studied hard.
I still remember that it was a sunny day, and my schoolbag was taken away and thrown away again. I wanted to pick it up, and Hua Yuemian came to me holding my schoolbag.
The seven-year-old Hua Yuemian is pretty and well-behaved. She is wearing a white baby dress and looks like an angel descended to earth.
In fact, the moment she gave me my schoolbag, I treated her as an angel.
"Hey, you're going too far!" Hua Yuemian shouted angrily, and immediately everyone in the class looked at her.
"It's okay." I was so happy. It was the first time in all these days that a girl stood up and spoke for me.
How nice it would be if time could stop at that moment, then things wouldn’t have turned out like they did later.
Hua Yuemian and I quickly became friends. Every time I was bullied, she would come to comfort me. She said, "It's okay, Yunque, we are good friends, but I can't help you. If I do that, I will also be bullied. Yunque can understand me, right?"
"Yeah." I smiled happily. At that time, I really wanted to have friends. Even though Hua Yuemian said that , I still regarded her as a good friend.
Because I have good friends, no matter how I am bullied every day, I will still go to school the next day.
This went on for a year, and on my eighth birthday, I ran to invite Hua Yuemian to eat cake with me.
But that day, in the toilet cubicle, I heard the conversation between Hua Yuemian and others.
"Yuemian, how long are you going to pretend to be good friends with her?"
"Exactly. I wish that guy didn't exist. He always makes me get scolded by my family members, who always say 'look at the lark in your class'."
"Me too. She always gets full marks on every test. She must know the test questions."
"Yeah, maybe it's cheating!"
"Then why not just catch her cheating next time? That way the teacher and mom and dad will all know that Yun Que didn't get the perfect score on her own."
I hid inside, feeling cold all over. I thought that couldn't be true . How could these cute little girls have such dark thoughts?
Before that, I didn't realize that they were bullying me. I thought everyone liked to play with me. Because I had never had any friends except Shu Haining, I thought that there would be such pranks among friends, but my friends were a little exaggerated and excessive.
But after hearing that kind of conversation, I realized that the so-called friends were all fake.
Many times I thought, what would have been better if I had turned around and walked away at that time and not invited Hua Yuemian to eat birthday cake together.
But at that time, I still had expectations for Hua Yuemian, and I still felt that she was my good friend because she helped me pick up my schoolbag!
That day I invited Hua Yuemian to eat cake with me, but Hua Yuemian asked me to take the cake out for everyone to eat together. At that time, I thought that it would be more fun if there were more people, so in the evening, I took the cake to the place where Hua Yuemian and I had agreed to eat.
There were a dozen children waiting there. I thought I would be so happy to have so many people celebrating my birthday with me. However, I was too naive, so naive that it was a little ridiculous.
That day I was hit by several kids with cakes. Not only cakes, but also gravel and branches picked up from the ground. I stood in the middle, and no matter which direction I ran, someone would stop me.
"Yuemian, Yuemian, I want to go home." I asked Hua Yuemian who was standing over there looking at me for help, "Yuemian?"
She ignored me. Under the moonlight, her face was so scary. She was just an eight-year-old girl, but she could already look at me with such cold eyes.
"Then go back!" Hua Yuemian said, "It would be best if you go back to a place where we can't see you! Without you, everyone will live happily."
She grabbed the biggest piece of cake and threw it in my face. I licked it with my tongue and it was sweet.
"I don't want to be friends with you. Let me tell you, I'm the one who lets everyone bully you." When she said this, I saw the slightest expression on her face.
It turns out that I don’t have any friends at all, and the people I thought were my friends are the culprits who hurt me.
What is a friend?
What is a partner?
At that moment, I lost interest in these things .
It was as if the world had suddenly fallen into darkness, and I was sitting alone among the thorns, with no one staying by my side.
That is the true loneliness, I am the only one in this dark world with nothing. Is there anyone like me in this world?
If so, why don't you come to me?
That was the last thought that came to my mind on my eighth birthday.
"Skylark, go home." I don't know when someone called me in my ear.
I opened my eyes dazedly and found that the classroom was already quiet. I looked up and saw Tang Ruize's face close at hand.
His expression was so gentle and his eyes were like the warm sunshine in March.
"The get out of class is over!" All the classmates in the classroom were gone, and I was the only one lying here sleeping. Since no one woke me up, I have been sleeping until now.
"Well, let's go home." Tang Ruize said to me gently, "Did you have a nightmare?"
“Well, I had a nightmare when I was eight years old.” I was recalling somewhere when I fell asleep. I was completely confused.
I couldn’t tell whether it was reality or a dream. When I was eight years old, I was betrayed by the person I trusted the most, and that feeling of loneliness came to my mind.
Following Tang Ruize out of the classroom, the sky outside was already filled with sunset glow. There were fewer pedestrians on campus, and the entire campus looked ambiguous between cool and warm tones.
After I got home, my mother called me and said, "Skylark, there is an astronomy department at a university here that wants you to study here. What do you think?"
"Okay." I said to my mother on the other end of the phone, "Anyway, no matter what, I still like the sky. The stars, the stars, and even the dust between the stars are all so interesting, aren't they?"
"Okay, then I'll help you reply to the school." After saying that, my mother hung up the phone.
I can now face the starry sky above my head again, no longer trusting others easily, but trusting myself. Because my heart has become stronger, I can see the road ahead clearly and have the future I want to go to.
In the next few days, I took the subway to class alone, because Tang Ruize had four classes in the morning, while I only had three or four classes.
When I take the subway, I always subconsciously look at the empty seat next to me. That person probably won’t take the same subway with me again.
I didn't know where Shu Haining had gone. He had missed classes for several days in a row and I didn't ask about him.
When we arrived at school, I sat down in the window seat. Yue Lin came over to me and sat down in the empty seat next to me. I smiled at her.
"Although I, like everyone else, feel that Yunlark is completely different from us, but I think Yunlark is Yunlark. Yunlark is a very gentle girl." Yue Lin said, lying on the table and looking into my eyes.
"Thank you, I like you too." Maybe in a few days, I will leave S University. I want to work harder for my future. Because when you have a place you want to go, your heart will become strong.
"Yuque, is it really okay to date Senior Tang?" Yue Lin asked with some concern, "I'm not saying Senior Tang is bad, but I always feel that it would be better for you to be with Shu Haining."
"Why?" In the eyes of others, should I stay with Shu Haining?
"Because you like Shu Haining." Yue Lin reached out and touched my short hair. "Every time you look at Shu Haining, that look means you like her, right?"
"But he has already rejected me." I said with some regret, "Although I also think I should stay with Shu Haining, he has made his choice, and I already have a place I want to go."
"Is that so?" Yue Lin nodded gently. "Although I don't know where you are going, if it is a place you really want to go, then you must go. Just like if you really like someone, you should not give up easily until the last minute."
"Skylark, it's very painful to erase that very important person from your heart." Yue Lin said, "And it's actually very difficult to meet that person who makes you want to be with him. There are so many people in this world, and you have to pass by many people every day. If you don't look back, the moment you pass by, you may never see each other again. Do you want to pass by Shu Haining?"
"That's not something I can decide." I looked at her with a smile, "Because the one who made the choice was Shu Haining. There was a period of time between us that can never be erased, and during that time, he had someone he couldn't let go of no matter what. So what will happen between Shu Haining and I? I hope to leave it all to time."
"If this is all there is between him and me, then we won't meet again. If Shu Haining and I still want to be with each other, then we can meet again even if we are far apart." I said, "Yue Lin, I may have to leave this school."
"Ah?" Yue Lin was stunned. She looked at me with wide eyes. "Where are you going?"
"To the other side of the world," I said.
"When will you be back?" she asked.
I shook my head: "I don't know, maybe I won't come back, or maybe we'll meet soon."
Yue Lin's eyes were red, and she hugged me: "Be happy, Yun Que, I like the Yun Que who lives in the dormitory and chats with me happily every day."
"Yeah." I nodded vigorously. "Thank you, Yuelin, you are my friend."
"Of course, we are friends," she said with a smile.
The day after I told Yue Lin that I was leaving, I received an admission notice from the school there.
For people who like astronomy, that school is the best place to go.
"Have you decided to go?" Tang Ruize leaned against the door and looked at me, "Do you need me to go with you?"
"No, I can go to school by myself." I said to Tang Ruize with a smile, "How about you, do you want to go back to your original university? Finance major, your original school is better."
"It's not bad here either!" Tang Ruize said, "I'll stay here and accompany grandma when you can't come back. So go with peace of mind, I'm here with you."
Tang Ruize came here because of me.
In my senior year of high school, I don’t know why, but I suddenly wanted to go back to Qinglu for a visit. However, because I was timid, I couldn’t do it alone, so Tang Ruize decided to transfer to S University, and he accompanied me back to Qinglu.
Every time it’s Tang Ruize. When I’m sad, he can always find me in the crowd and give me a warm hug.
The meaning of family's existence is to give warmth, and the meaning of friends is happiness.
My grandmother's words to me still seem to echo in my ears. At that time, I was reckless and said whatever I wanted. In fact, sometimes being straightforward is not being strong, but just a sign of not really growing up.
After experiencing confusion, pain, happiness and sadness, people will really grow mature slowly, and one day they will completely shed the shell of a teenager and become a real adult.
I don’t know how far I still have to go to become a real adult. Maybe it will happen when I wake up tomorrow, or maybe it will take several years.
But no matter which one it is, I will no longer be confused.
"Don't you want to know about Shu Haining?" Tang Ruize asked me.
I smiled and shook my head: "I don't want to know."
I actually know it. For example, I can sense that Shu Haining also likes me, and that is enough.
"We were once so close that we were only one millimeter apart from each other, but in the end we couldn't be together. Maybe it's destined that things between him and me will only go this far," I said.
On the eve of flying to another university, someone called me.
It was Hua Yuemian. I didn’t know why she came to see me again, but she asked me to meet , so I went anyway.
When I arrived, she was sitting there drinking coffee.
"You should be thankful that you came to see me today. If it was tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, I would not have come." I once thought that I would never be able to speak to this person calmly, but after experiencing all these things, I found that I no longer bore a grudge against Hua Yuemian.
There are more than six billion people in this world, and each of them is a different individual with all kinds of personalities. A personality like Hua Yuemian's is, of course, just one of them.
I can dislike her and ignore her, but I cannot dictate how she lives her life.
"Haining came to me." She whispered, "He said that there was no way to continue the promise he made. When even the promise couldn't bind him, I didn't know what other methods were there to keep him."
I was stunned for a moment. Shu Haining hadn't come to school these days. Did he go to find Hua Yuemian?
"I obviously don't want it to end." Hua Yuemian said, "Yuque, did I do anything wrong? I just want to keep the person I like, do you understand?"
"Haha." I couldn't help laughing. "I said before that your hypocrisy made me sick. Although I still don't like you, I won't deny your behavior anymore. No one stipulates how you should behave when you like someone. There is nothing wrong with your behavior . The only thing I can't forgive is one thing. Maybe I will never forgive you."
"Don't do things that give people hope and then destroy that person's expectations yourself." I sighed and said, "That will completely destroy a person. Maybe you just feel unhappy, but it's just a careless action, but it can kill a person's heart."
"I really want to apologize to you for what happened when we were kids." She lowered her head and stirred the coffee in the cup. "I know that whatever I say now sounds like an excuse. At that time, I was actually jealous of you. I was so jealous that I wanted to bully you and destroy you."
"You always get full marks in exams and always have an easy time. You have no idea that your existence is a glare to people like us who can't do the same even if we try hard," she said, "both in the past and now."
"Just like I tried hard to keep Shu Haining, even so, I still couldn't keep him. What I couldn't do, you did it so easily. So until now, I am still jealous of you."
"Well, you can continue to be jealous of me." I said, "If this can make you feel a little more balanced, I don't mind you being jealous of me for the rest of your life. And I won't stop here, I will keep moving forward, because I am always envied by you like this, and occasionally I will want to see how far I can go if I am as serious as you guys."
"Where are you going?" Hua Yuemian finally noticed this question.
"Go there." I raised my hand and pointed above my head.
"What about Shu Haining?" she asked, "Don't you plan to be with Shu Haining?"
"I don't know." I said, "I don't know how to answer you about Shu Haining. Hua Yuemian, what is the most important thing to you?"
"It's Shu Haining." She answered me without hesitation.
I shook my head gently. "That's not the case. The meaning of life is not just about love. There are always things that you want to do no matter what. It seems that I am ahead of you again. But if you think it is Shu Haining, it doesn't matter, because that is your own business. For me, Shu Haining is not the only one. I have found the future that I want to reach no matter what."
I drank the coffee in the cup and stood up: "You have to find it quickly too."
I walked out of the cafe, the evening breeze blowing on my face, I felt super comfortable.
“Skylark!” Hua Yuemian chased me out and stopped me from more than ten meters away, “I lied!”
I turned around and looked at her. She walked slowly in front of me and finally stopped three meters away from me.
She put her hand over her right eye and said, "I can actually see with my left eye."
"What?" I was stunned. "Didn't you say you couldn't see it?"
"That was a lie." Hua Yuemian took a deep breath, "Yuque, you are really annoying, no matter when you were a kid or now, annoying but also enviable. You said those words to me without permission and showed me that expression without permission, you are so mean, wouldn't that mean I would be the only one standing still?"
"At the beginning, I was always yearning for you, because no matter how hard I tried, I could never be like you, so I was so jealous." Hua Yuemian lowered her head and reached out to grab her bangs. "You are always so straightforward that people are at a loss, and in the end you still say these words that make people feel so great."
"It really does exist, right? There must be something in this world that only you can do." She raised her head and smiled at me, "Of course, I will still hate you, but I won't do that again. If you have the chance to meet Shu Haining, tell him that my left eye has recovered its sight a long time ago, but I didn't say anything because I didn't want to lose him."
"Why don't you tell him in person?" I don't like being a messenger, especially for Hua Yuemian.
"Because this is a punishment. He said he would take care of me for the rest of his life, but in the end he still struggled to be by your side. You see, there are things in this world that only you can do, and Shu Haining is one of them." She said, "You've been gone for ten years, but he has never forgotten you. I know that he studies so hard just because he doesn't want you to be alone anymore, and he wants to be with you in a higher place."
"He went to the construction site that day just to see the stars in your eyes. You were not here, but he still missed you. I was right in front of him, but he never looked at me properly." Hua Yuemian smiled helplessly, "I once thought that I had finally snatched him away from you, but that was only because you didn't show up. When you showed up, he still came back to you."
"Why are you telling me this?" She told me these things as if she wanted to make up for something. "Actually, you don't have to tell me this. I don't need to know."
"Skylark." She suddenly took a step towards me and held my face with both hands. Her face was so close to me, so close that I could see my reflection in her eyes.
She placed her thumb on my lips and then leaned in close to me, kissing her fingers.
"That's how I kissed him that day." Her eyes were filled with a warm smile. Could that annoying Hua Yuemian also have such an expression?
"So, I have never existed between you and Shu Haining from the beginning." She let go of his hand and took a step back. "I don't know if you like or not the apology I made when I was eight years old, and I don't care if you need it or not. I just want to convey it to you unilaterally."
"Haha." I couldn't help but laugh out loud.
"What are you laughing at?" Hua Yuemian looked at me depressedly.
"Always felt……"
Always felt--
"Hua Yuemian, you are not bad. If you can be as frank as you were just now, there will definitely be better boys waiting for you not far away. I accept your apology, and goodbye. Maybe I will never forgive you in my life, but that is not important."
They didn't forgive each other, nor did they quarrel. They just conveyed what was in their hearts to each other, and it made people so happy.
The eight-year-old Skylark was okay and no longer had to stay in the dark because the eighteen-year-old Skylark pulled the eight-year-old Skylark out.
I stuffed the last of my clothes into my suitcase. There wasn’t much in it, but it took me a while to pack it piecemeal.
Having lived here, traces will be left in it, just like someone has lived in your heart. Even if you move away later, something will be left in your heart.
After closing the box, I sat on the floor of the room to rest, with my cell phone next to me. I was a little hesitant, should I say goodbye to Shu Haining?
I have to say that Hua Yuemian’s words still had some impact on me. At least if she hadn’t told me those things, I probably wouldn’t have wanted to say goodbye to Shu Haining at all.
And now, saying goodbye to him became one of the options.
Just as I was hesitating, a text message came to my phone. I opened it and saw only six words:
"I'm outside your house."
There was no signature and the number didn't show a name, but I knew who sent the message in an instant.
I found a coat and put it on, then went downstairs in my slippers.
Pushing open the iron gate, Shu Haining saw a familiar figure.
"Skylark." He called my name and walked towards me, "I heard from Yue Lin that you are leaving S University."
"Yeah, I was just wondering whether to say goodbye to you," I said.
Shu Haining said: "Come walk with me."
"Okay." I didn't reject his proposal. Anyway, today would be the last night. By this time tomorrow, I would be on the other side of the earth, spending day and night with him.
Walking side by side on the beach, my heart still hurts. Maybe this is what it feels like to like someone. I still like him, I can feel it clearly.
I clenched and unclenched my hands, wanting to hold his hand, but I was too nervous to know what to do. I secretly looked up at him, but I could only see his profile, which was hazy under the starlight, but he seemed to be very nervous now.
What is he thinking about now?
I don't know if his hand accidentally touched mine, I tried to move my hand away as if I had received an electric shock, but he held it tightly. His palm was a little wet, could it be that he was thinking about the same thing as me?
"I've looked for Hua Yuemian." He spoke, his voice a little low.
"I know." I nodded. "She came to see me and told me a lot of things."
"I'm sorry that my indecision always makes you sad. You are the last person I want to hurt in this world." He slowly stopped walking. "I once thought about a question, why was I swept here by the waves? I don't know the meaning of my life here."
"But now I understand. I must have come here to meet you." He whispered, "This must be the meaning of my existence."
"But I won't stay with you." I smiled slightly, "I'm leaving tomorrow. Today may be my last night here."
"I know," he said, "but I still want to convey my feelings to you. Skylark, you said that when we were closest, we were only one millimeter apart. So let me take this last millimeter."
"Anyway, I'm used to waiting for you here. I've waited for you for ten years, so waiting a few more years won't be a big deal." He said slowly, "But I don't want to just wait. No matter how long it takes, I will try my best to run to your side."
“Although I still can’t respond to what you said to me, I will work harder every day, and one day I will be able to chat with you on the same topic.
“We may be halfway across the world , but we’ve come this far, haven’t we?”
"Skylark, I like you." He looked into my eyes and whispered to me.
"Ok, I know."
Knowing that you like me, I have . Knowing that you like me, I can't erase you from my heart.
"Hua Yuemian's left eye is fine." Although I really don't want to be Hua Yuemian's messenger, I still want to tell him this, "She didn't tell you because she didn't want you to leave."
"It doesn't matter what happens." Shu Haining said, "I won't be confused or shaken anymore. Yun Que, I may still be a little cowardly now, but I will definitely work hard to become a reliable adult."
I grabbed him by the collar and pulled him down, then stood on tiptoes and kissed him.
He hugged me with his backhand, and when my lips were about to leave, he kissed me again: "Skylark, you..."
"I like you." I confessed to him again, "Even though it's a little sad when I'm with you, and sometimes my heart aches, I still like you."
I love you, and because I love you, I have the strength to face the past, today and tomorrow.
"I may not be able to see you off tomorrow," he said, "because I have classes all day. Skylark, you are working hard, and I have to work hard too."
"Well, it's okay." I said with a smile, "I don't like that kind of occasion either. Anyway, is it really okay to like a guy like me? When did you like me?"
"Whenever I think of you, I will smile." He laughed . It was a smile I had never seen before, frank, sunny, and a little silly. "As for when I fell in love with you, it was probably the moment I saw you from the classroom window. In fact, I have always known one thing, that is, when I meet you again, I only need to look at you once, and I will definitely fall in love with you."
"Like a fool, Haining." I said with a smile.
He took my hand and put it in his coat pocket.
"Even if I look like a fool, I still want to stay by your side."
"Haining."
"Um?"
"I always feel like you are Jupiter and I am Earth."
"what is that?"
"It's you and me!"