After Long Xuan's birthday party, I was extremely depressed, so Gu Xi always came to persuade me to go out and relax. I refused with various reasons, but he persisted. In the end, I could only say what I really thought in my heart: "No matter how beautiful the scenery is, what's the point if I don't see it with the person I like."
Gu Xi didn't even think about it, she smiled and said, "You can pretend that I'm him."
He smiled nonchalantly, as if being someone else's stand-in was a happy thing. Suddenly, my nose felt sour. Even if those beautiful wishes can never be truly realized, it's good to pretend that the dreams have come true.
I smiled and said to Gu Xi: "Then you can also pretend that I am her, that's fair."
I was probably joking when I said this, but I didn't expect Gu Xi to be stunned for a long time before he reached out and scratched my nose and said, "Silly."
We set off on Friday night and arrived at the picturesque Jiangnan town at six o'clock the next morning. It rained continuously, so Gu Xi and I could only hide in the hotel. I watched TV and he wrote a novel, but we didn't feel bored.
I was listening to Gu Xi typing on the keyboard amid the sound of the falling rain, and suddenly I wanted to know what the story about Gu Xi and that girl was like.
I quietly approached Gu Xi. He was concentrating on writing just one second, but in the next second he closed his laptop alertly, turned around and asked me, "What's wrong?"
He looked so nervous, as if he was afraid that I would see what he wrote. Driven by strong curiosity, I said, "Gu Xi, since we have nothing to do anyway, why don't I tell you the story of Jian Chen and me, and you tell me your story, how about that?"
" I know everything about you and Jian Chen ." He smiled.
"Then I'll tell you my greatest wish in exchange for your story." I was unyielding.
Gu Xi, who always responded to requests, suddenly became stingy: "Isn't your biggest wish to be with Jian Chen?"
It seems like he knows everything about me .
I could only pout and say, "Oh, that's not fair. You know my biggest wish, so shouldn't you tell me what your biggest wish is too?"
He looked at me without saying anything, as if he was thinking about something very important. Then he smiled, tilted his head and thought for a while, and said, "My last wish in this life is to do three things with her. Isn't that greedy? Asking for three things at once."
He asked me carefully if I was being greedy, which made me feel distressed for no reason. I quickly said, "No, I'm not greedy. You do so many things for her. Not to mention three things, even thirty things wouldn't be considered greedy."
"Really?" He looked at me, and his eyes suddenly became affectionate and expectant. I knew that he must have regarded me as that girl.
"Of course." I nodded, thought about it, and couldn't help but say, "You have pretended to be Jian Chen so many times, let me pretend to be her this time, let's do the first one together, just as I repay you."
I thought he would refuse, but he nodded immediately, as happy as a child. He ran out the door, then ran back and said, "Wait for me, I'll be back soon."
When he came back, he was holding a shopping bag. I opened it and saw a cornflower blue dress. I looked at him, confused.
He suddenly lowered his head, revealing a faint pink on the tips of his ears, and said, "I want to give her her favorite dress and watch her favorite cartoon with her."
"Is that all?" I thought it would be something difficult.
He looked at me and nodded, with a very satisfied look, as if I really was her, as if his wish had truly come true.
This person seems to be always so easily satisfied.
I almost cried because of his look, so I quickly changed the subject: "She likes cornflower blue?"
I just asked casually, but I didn't expect Gu Xi to suddenly become nervous: "Don't you like it?"
"Not really." I thought about it and sighed, "I used to like it, because I thought Jian Chen liked this color, but in fact he didn't. In fact, the color I really like is pearl white."
"I'm sorry, I didn't know you liked pearl white." Gu Xi suddenly said this apologetically.
I quickly reminded him, "It doesn't matter. I'm just pretending to be her. She likes cornflower blue, so of course I have to choose cornflower blue."
"But..." Gu Xi paused as if she suddenly realized something, and then there was a long silence. After a while, she said, "I don't know which cartoon she likes, so just choose according to your preference."
He turned his head, looked me in the eyes seriously and said, "So, Banxia, ​​which cartoon do you like?"
" We Still Don't Know the Name of the Flower We Saw That Summer." I felt uncomfortable with Gu Xi's focused expression, so I pushed his elbow and said, "I can't guarantee that she will like this one."
"It's okay, as long as you like it."
"I'm not her."
"I can just pretend that you are the one who likes this cartoon."
"Silly." I laughed and then shed tears, maybe because of the touching plot in the cartoon, or maybe just because of Gu Xi's deep affection.
That afternoon, when the cartoon was playing non-stop, I was crying the whole time, but Gu Xi, who was watching with me on the sofa, had a slight smile on his face the whole time. Even when he occasionally shed tears quietly, the corners of his mouth still maintained that beautiful arc.
I know he must feel very happy to pretend to have his wish come true, this easily satisfied fool.
The happy journey is always short, even short enough for us to finish watching the whole cartoon. Gu Xi and I had to return to the annoying reality.
The topic of June is always about the "big exam". However, this June, the discussion about "Ai Banxia and Gu Xi" on the Baisha campus was far more heated than the "devil's big exam day".
Even Long Xuan took advantage of Gu Xi's visit to me during the break to gossip and hint at me, "Ai Banxia, ​​you really surprised me. You could easily make a poker-faced guy like Jian Chen fall into your hands. Haha, to be honest, I've been gloating all day. It turns out that Jian Chen has this day. Uh, Banxia, ​​can you say that you've avenged me for being 'abandoned' by him? But having said that, I've always felt that Gu Xi is more worthy of you. Of course, the premise is that you like him as well."
I smiled and waited patiently for her to finish, without making any excuses. Gu Xi naturally did not explain either. As a result, "Ai Banxia and Gu Xi are a couple" soon became a "fact" known to everyone in Baisha.
I felt extremely guilty towards Gu Xi because of this: "Gu Xi, is this really okay?"
When I asked Gu Xi for confirmation for the nth time, he finally gave me a different answer from before: "Banxia, ​​I played your boyfriend, so correspondingly, shouldn't you also play my girlfriend?"
"Well?"
"Be the secret guest at my new book pre-sale event."
Gu Xi's new book, if I remember correctly, is a story about love.
Two days later, I accompanied Gu Xi to the pre-sale event for his new book. The pre-sale event had a nice and sad name - "Will You Leave Next Summer?", which cleverly embedded his pen name "Xia Li".
Because Xia Li had never appeared in public before, many fans came to the scene who wanted to see his true face, and their screams could be heard backstage.
When the event was about to begin, Gu Xi put a beautiful mask on my face, but he planned to show his true face.
I felt strange: "Gu Xi, I actually think that one of the important selling points of a writer is to maintain a sense of mystery, so, shouldn't you be the one who needs to wear a mask?"
"Are you saying that my appearance will affect sales?" He turned around and looked at me with a smile.
"Of course not." I retorted solemnly.
Maybe I looked too serious, which made Gu Xi smile: "Actually, I promised them in the book that when the book is on the market, I will let them see the prototype of the heroine - my girlfriend in real life. But, you know -" Gu Xi suddenly stopped, and there was a sadness in his beautiful eyes that perhaps even he himself did not notice.
Some past events, though beautiful, always bring unexpected pain when recalled, and I can relate. Of course, I know who the prototype of the heroine in Gu Xi's new book is, and I also know who caused the rare sadness in his eyes at this moment, of course, it was the girl he wanted to give a dress to but failed to give it to.
"I know, of course I know." I laughed loudly, trying to pull Gu Xi back to reality from the abyss of grief, "You are my fake boyfriend, and I am your substitute girlfriend. It couldn't be fairer."
Gu Xi said nothing, but just looked at me and smiled. I don't know why, his smile was so bright, but I felt that his smile looked so fragile that it could not withstand a single blow.
Maybe he was just too nervous about the pre-sale and the novel based on "her", just like he was so nervous before that he couldn't start writing.
Because I cherish it, I am nervous.
This is probably the most special new book pre-sale I have ever seen. Only 1,000 copies of the new book are available for pre-sale, and only couples can buy them. For the price of one book, you can buy a couple's coupon for exchanging two books. The male coupon and the female coupon are kept by the couple separately, and together they form a beautiful blue heart shape.
When the novel comes out, if they are still together and if the blue heart is still intact, they can exchange the complete couple's voucher for two novels signed by Xia Li. Otherwise, it will be invalid.
A romantic yet almost cruel way. Who can guarantee that they will still be together next summer?
The pre-sale was very successful, but Gu Xi still looked depressed. I guess he must have thought of the girl he liked, so I could only keep silent with him.
On the way back, the sun was shining brightly, shining through the car window and shining on my face, making me drowsy. I stared at the mottled shadows of trees flashing rapidly on the car window glass and wondered, why can't God always make people's wishes come true? If Gu Xi was Xiao Shitou, or I was the girl that Gu Xi liked, how perfect it would be.
Unfortunately, it is Gu Xi and I who are sitting together at this moment.
Perhaps, this is what God does not do as he wishes. How helpless.
I was stunned for a moment until Gu Xi gently touched my arm. He handed me a couple's voucher and said, "Your reward."
This couple's coupon is different from the ones that were just pre-sold. The half heart shape of the girl's coupon is pink, while the boy's coupon is cornflower blue. I suddenly thought of Jian Chen and the sentence "Will you leave next summer?" I instinctively resisted: "I don't want it, it should belong to someone who deserves it. Gu Xi, you know, this pre-sale coupon will only be wasted in my hands."
Because the person who was supposed to hold the boys’ ticket is no longer with me.
Gu Xi was stunned for a moment, and then stubbornly handed the pre-sale ticket to me again, with a smile on her face: "Didn't you want to know the content of the novel before?"
I thought about it, lowered my head and answered in a low voice: "I don't want to think about it now."
"Why?"
The smile on Gu Xi's lips disappeared little by little, and disappointment was all over her brows and eyes.
I quickly explained: "It's not that you write badly, but, it's that I don't want to read sad stories anymore."
Because I know that in the end Gu Xi and the girl he liked didn't end up together.
When I said this, Gu Xi reached out and tapped my forehead: "I haven't even thought about what the ending will be, how can you be sure it will be a tragedy?"
"But, this is obvious..." I suddenly realized that I said the wrong thing, and was afraid that Gu Xi would be sad and upset because of my words and think of the past events, but when I looked sideways uneasily, Gu Xi looked at me with an inclusive smile in her eyes.
Because of this smile, I feel even more guilty.
I said, "I'm sorry."
He then tapped my forehead again and said, "It's okay."
Then he added, "Don't worry, it will be a happy ending that you will like, I promise."
"But, that kind of 'artificial' happy ending is used to deceive insignificant people." I don't want Gu Xi to lie to himself just to make me happy. He is happy.
Gu Xi stared at me intently for a long time before she called my name softly and said, "It's not an artificial happy ending. For me, the ending is already a happy ending. So, Banxia, ​​don't worry, it will definitely not be a tragedy."
"Why do you say that?"
My understanding of a happy ending should be that Gu Xi and the girl he likes will be together happily forever, but the reality is obviously not like that.
"Because I once made a wish to God that I would give everything for it, even if it only let me see her once." Gu Xi tilted his head, the sunlight outside the car window made his eyes shine, "And now, not only can I see her at any time, I can even share every joy, anger, sorrow and happiness in her life. God helped me realize my wish, but did not take everything from me. So, Banxia, ​​this ending is the best ending for me."
"But..." I still have doubts.
He suddenly blinked and laughed, hid the pre-sale ticket behind him and said, "It's too late to regret now. This is the only one left out of a thousand pre-sale tickets."
"Hey, you stingy guy." I didn't want to make Gu Xi sad anymore, so I pretended to cooperate and acted angry.
Gu Xi compromised immediately: "How about this, we'll each have half of this couple's ticket. If you want to watch it later, come and ask me for the men's ticket." Gu Xi suddenly paused here, looked at me angrily and said with a smile, "If at that time, we are still pretending to be a couple, I will still be willing to show it to you."
Gu Xi's smile can always be like sunshine, sweeping away the haze in my heart.
I pretended to be dissatisfied, glared at him fiercely and said, "Gu Xi is a stingy person!"
He didn't say anything, just smiled, and while smiling, he tore the heart-shaped pre-sale ticket in the middle.
He lowered his head, moved gently and carefully, but still tore the two half hearts into uneven pieces.
Such situations always give me the illusion that what he is cutting is not paper, but his own heart. Even the people watching feel heart-wrenching pain.
I reached out to stop him, but it was too late. With a "swish", my heart split in two. Somewhere in my heart seemed to be torn open, and air was leaking out. I felt extremely uncomfortable.