Chapter 9: Rift 3
Seeing how joking he was, I couldn't hold back any longer and burst out laughing.
I skated to the side of the field, changed my skates, and followed Xu Xuan to the rest area. As soon as I sat down, my dad called me. These days, whenever I go out for a long time, he will call me immediately. I know he is afraid that something will happen to me outside. As soon as I picked up the phone, I heard him asking me why I haven't gone home yet. I told him that I was with a friend now. Dad's tone relaxed and he reminded me on the other end of the phone that it was time to take medicine.
After hanging up the phone, I asked Xu Xuan, "Do you have any water?"
"Of course I have it. Wait, I'll get it for you."
Xu Xuan stood up and walked towards the service desk. When he came back, he had a bottle of mineral water in his hand.
I took out the medicine bottle from the bag next to me, poured out a few pills and swallowed them with water. Since I got sick, there have been a lot of medicines in my bag. Sometimes when I see them, I suddenly feel funny. In fact, I don't want to take them, because I clearly know that they can't make me better, but for my dad, I am willing to be obedient.
When I screwed the bottle cap back on, I saw Xu Xuan frowning and looking at me in confusion and asked, "Are you sick?"
This was not something to be ashamed of, and I had no intention of hiding it. I smiled lightly and said, "Yes, I am sick."
"What disease?"
"Stomach cancer, terminal stage. The doctor said I probably have another year to live." I smiled, acting unconcerned.
Xu Xuan was stunned for a moment, and after a while he asked in disbelief: "You mean, you have terminal stomach cancer?"
"Yeah." I nodded and said, "Don't think too much. Life is so unpredictable. You see, I can accept everything so calmly now."
Xu Xuan remained silent for a while before he asked, "Does Chen Qiaoluo know about this?"
When I first heard Chen Qiaoluo's name, I was stunned. I tried not to think about him these days, because I was afraid that if I thought of him, all my strength would fall apart.
Seeing that I didn't say anything, Xu Xuan spoke again: "I think I understand. The person you least want to tell about your illness should be him."
There seemed no point in hiding it, so I nodded slightly.
I don't know how long it took, Xu Xuan suddenly asked again: "Do you still like him now?"
How could I not like him? He is like a ray of light in my life, worth pursuing for my whole life. But I know that I have no way to get close to him now that I am so broken, I can't hurt him, so I can only wrong myself.
After a while, Xu Xuan suddenly sighed and said, "I plan to go to × City for a trip soon. Do you want to come with me?"
My father was strongly against my decision to go to × City with Xu Xuan, but he finally gave in after my repeated insistence. Xu Xuan came to my house and promised to take good care of me outside.
Actually, I wanted to go to × City not only because of Xu Xuan's suggestion, but I was just afraid that I would never see Chen Qiaoluo again before I died. Besides, I had made an agreement with Guyu about × City before. At that time, he said that he would take me to see ice sculptures and go shopping when I went there. Now that he is gone, I still want to go and have a look.
Xu Xuan and I took a flight to × City that night. It was already 11pm when we arrived. Xu Xuan took me directly to the hotel after we got off the plane because he was worried that I would not be able to bear the fatigue. When we woke up the next day, Xu Xuan suggested that we go out for a walk together.
It was the first time for both of us to come here, and we wandered around like headless flies. It was already the end of March, but the weather in × City was still cold. Xu Xuan wrapped his scarf around me and put my hands in his pockets to keep warm.
According to my plan, we went to see the ice sculptures first, and then went to the crowded pedestrian street in the evening. When I stood in this ice city, I thought of Guyu. I think we finally fulfilled our promise.
It took me three days to finally make up my mind to go see Chen Qiaoluo.
Xu Xuan was by my side, and we went to the address on the postcard that Chen Qiaoluo had sent me. It was a place similar to a university town, with several schools in the whole area. I called Li Zi to confirm the school Chen Qiaoluo attended, and told her in her surprised voice that I just wanted to meet him.
Yes, I just wanted to meet him, that's all.
Xu Xuan and I walked into the school, and we were surrounded by energetic students.
In fact, I’m not sure whether I will meet Chen Qiaoluo, but I’m still very grateful that Xu Xuan is willing to accompany me in this way.
I walked with him to every corner of the school, as if this would allow me to be closer to Chen Qiaoluo. I saw the environment of his school and walked the path he often walked, but I could no longer enter his heart.
Maybe everything was God's will. I was so lucky. When Xu Xuan and I were about to leave in disappointment, Chen Qiaoluo appeared. He stood not far from me with his head down, as if waiting for someone. After not seeing him for a month, he didn't seem to have changed much.
I stood there and just stared at him stupidly until a boy walked over and patted him on the shoulder, and then the two of them left together.
I think it’s great to see Chen Qiaoluo like this.
I was worried about whether he would live alone before, but now I feel relieved to see that he has friends to accompany him. I think I should thank time for embracing all the unbearable past.
On the way back to the hotel, I seemed very happy. Xu Xuan looked at me with amusement and said, "Are you so happy to see him?"
"What do you know?" I couldn't help but smile, and said, "I used to worry about his personality. After all, you know he's a loner. Now that he has friends around him and everything seems to be sunny, how can I not be happy?"
Seeing me say this, Xu Xuan was silent for a moment, then he stopped and looked at me, and said: "Zhu Jun, since you still like him, why don't you give yourself another chance? You don't have much time left, why don't you take advantage of these last few days to love him well and be unrestrained for once?"
Xu Xuan's question made me stunned. I gradually put away the smile on my lips, lowered my head and said slowly: "I once thought about being with him regardless of everything, and told him that I like him. But people can't be so selfish. Maybe my impulse can bring me happiness for this year, but what about after that? When I leave this world, how painful will Chen Qiaoluo who is left behind be? I love him, so I can't bear to see him so sad."
My words made Xu Xuan silent, and deep sadness welled up in his eyes.
I took a deep breath and continued, "Don't think too much. I'm in a good state right now. Although I think Chen Qiaoluo might forget me, it doesn't matter. I won't live long anyway, so why should I occupy other people's dreams all the time?"
This illness seems to have made me grow up a lot in a short period of time. The Zhu Yunhao of the past has gradually become considerate of others. I really don't know whether this is a blessing or a curse.
Xu Xuan and I stayed in City X for a week. The day we left was Chen Qiaoluo's birthday, so I ordered a birthday cake for him from the nearby cake shop, which was covered with his favorite strawberries.
When the clerk handed me a card and a pen and asked me if I had anything to write, I was stunned. Then, I took the card and pen and gently wrote on it -
May your future be brighter than the sun and your heart be clearer than the sky.
Chen Qiaoluo, this may be my last blessing to you. I just hope that you can live a brighter life in the days when I am no longer around.
You are the incomparable scenery in my youth. Until now, I still remember you who was cynical on the rostrum. I just didn't expect that a quick glance at you would bring back so many memories.
