Chapter 9 Let loneliness surge into an ocean
Since you have hurt me, then repay me. If you love me, then remember me forever.
——Fang Xuyu
01
Fang disappeared in a moment.
After I came back from S City, he never appeared in front of me. I planted a lot of ginger flowers in the yard. I miss him in July.
Before graduation, I visited many small towns in Jiangnan. Some small towns are very quiet. After thousands of years of Chinese culture, the ancient towns have nurtured spiritual energy. There are faint bell sounds in the drizzle, blending into the scenery, and people can be still with the quiet ancient temples. Some small towns are very lively. On the bluestone slabs, there are many tourists, and everyone is running and laughing. I lay on the bamboo mat of the black-sailed boat, looking at the colorful shoes running around in a hurry, imagining that one day there will be a pair of shoes for the person I care about.
After graduation, I found a job in a high-end office building in City C. My boss, Lao Fei, was a strong man in the workplace. He was a nice person, but he was very fanatical about his work. I could learn a lot from him.
Lao Fei has a rule that as long as the project can be completed, he can be as patient and kind to his employees as possible. Similarly, if the work is not completed, he can turn into a deadly ghost in a second.
In the morning, when Lao Fei called me, I was still in a dream. I picked up the phone and said "Hello" incoherently.
"Fang Weiyang, why don't you come to work! You are the laziest in the whole company! Believe it or not, I will fire you!" The noisy voice almost broke my eardrum. I put the phone away because I was already half awake.
I laughed dryly and said with a smile: "Boss, it's the weekend today, can you spare my life?"
"The entire department is working overtime. What weekend? There is no weekend in my eyes. Come quickly!" With a "click", the phone was hung up and I had no power to fight back.
I frowned, stretched myself, and got up to wash. After getting dressed, I stepped on my high heels, looked at myself in the mirror, smiled bitterly, forced a smile, and went out to take the bus.
This is my life after graduation. It seems busy and fulfilling, but before the dead of night, I feel like someone has taken a big piece out of my heart, and the cold wind blows in, which is very painful.
When my colleague introduced me to a blind date, I ran away faster than anyone else.
It seems that I have become hard to believe in love. To me, love is hurt. I used to be too mean. Perhaps that love should have ended long ago, but I was too paranoid.
Somehow, the hurt is too deep.
I closed my eyes and forced myself not to think about that person anymore.
Two years.
It has been two years since Fang Xuyou disappeared, but for me, everything still seems like yesterday. When I called in July a year ago, the phone reminded me that my phone was out of service.
I can't find her.
You see, in such a big city, it is easy for people to disperse after a concert.
After coming back from overtime, I saw a luxury car parked at the entrance of the alley from a distance. There was a man rubbing his hands under a tree, anxiously looking in the direction I was coming from. When he saw me, his face lit up and he hurried over to greet me.
I still live in the old house, so logically no one would come here to look for me. So I was a little unsure whether that person was coming to meet me.
But when I walked closer and saw the person clearly, I was suddenly a little surprised.
"Weiwei, Dad has been waiting for you for a long time." Fang Chongyan greeted me.
"Is there something wrong?" I was really surprised that he came here.
Fang Chongyan coughed, said nothing, and fumbled for something from his bosom. The bright color stimulated my heart. I looked at him secretly. Fang Chongyan had indeed aged a lot and changed a lot. His temples were completely white, and the traces of the vicissitudes of life on his face were so obvious.
He handed me the invitation and I took it.
"Dad is getting married. I hope you can come."
"Aunt Qing finally waited for you." I was sincerely happy for them.
Fang Chongyan sighed and murmured, "Weiwei, Ah Hai...Alas, I was too stubborn before. If you two love each other, Dad shouldn't stop you. Ah Hai has suffered a lot. If you still want to be together now, I have no objection."
When this name that was about to disappear from my life was mentioned again, I didn't know how to respond for a moment.
"Is Fang Xuyu... okay?" I asked.
"How should I put it? He has been abroad for two years. He is very good at work, but his personality is becoming more and more unpredictable. However, I can see that he is not happy." Fang Chongyan said, "By the way, he is back this time too. You can have a good chat when you meet."
"Dad is gone, take care of yourself." Fang Chongyan patted my hands . I held the invitation and felt it was a little hot.
Have you come back? Will you meet that person if you go back?
Time is like flowing water. Since when did we become like strange enemies, both of us with thorns erected, stabbing each other with blood? Since when did we go against our true hearts, quietly withdraw from each other's world, choose not to ask each other, from not seeing each other for a long time to better not seeing each other?
Those days and nights of longing and past mistakes are not forgotten, but I just pretend to forget them; it’s not that I can’t remember them, but I just dare not remember them.
"Why do you have so many wounds on your body? Did you fight with someone? Hey, how could you fight with someone?" A sharp female voice rang out in the alley. I looked over and saw that they were two students about fifteen or sixteen years old.
The girl had short hair that reached her ears, and looked playful and cute. She looked at the scars on the boy's face, feeling anxious and angry.
"They hurt you, stole your homework, and asked you for money, so I fought them to the death," the boy said hatefully.
"Those are thugs, you can't beat them." The girl was so anxious that tears fell, and she looked at him with heartache.
The young man looked at the girl firmly and said, "I'm not afraid. I will repay those who hurt you tenfold."
"You're stupid, wuwuwu..." The girl cried and shook the boy desperately.
The boy gently wiped the girl's tears and said, "I am just stupid. But I can promise you that I will not fight with others easily, unless it is because of you."
After saying that, he took the girl's hand and walked to the other end.
- I can't promise to help you solve all your problems, but I promise that I won't let you face them alone. If anyone destroys yours, I will pay them back tenfold.
Someone has said this to me as well.
——I will return it to you.
No, he didn't fight for revenge against me, he fought for love.
At this moment, I realized that in the two years since he left, I have seen my heart clearly and I miss him like crazy.
I fell in love with Fang Xuyu.
Looking at the invitation in my hand, it was a shortcut for me to correct my mistake, and I decided that I would go to meet him.
I will completely remove the needles that have pierced my flesh one by one.
