Chapter 9: I'm not a duck

As expected, the message fell on deaf ears.

What's he doing?

Chen Che raised his finger and flicked it twice on Yoyolooping's profile picture.

The silver-grey yoyo on the profile picture didn't move.

Yoyolooping's last message: Bury all the glasses/corpses with a grand gesture.

Chen Che's fingertips left afterimages on the screen as he posted several comments in English.

- Did you buy new glasses?

- The prescription got stronger?

- This glasses store is good, the location is...

Chen Che long-pressed the comment and deleted it.

Considering the other person's financial situation, how could he push the expensive glasses store that Du Yuanshan had been to to the other person?

Delete, delete all of them.

It was really embarrassing for a grown man like him to nag like a mother in the comment section of someone's Instagram.

What's more, he and Yoyolooping were only "half-acquaintances", not friends, but just netizens who could chat with each other.

The network cable couldn't blur the social distance between them. What if the other person was disgusted?

Yoyolooping was actually a fan of his mother? This surprised and delighted Chen Che.

Should he arrange a close-up idol meet-and-greet for him?

He saw his son, deep in thought, staring at his phone.

"Are you in a relationship?" the old mother smiled.

Chen Che blushed, "Nonsense." "

Tsk, tsk, tsk, your face has changed." Half of her false eyelashes had come unglued and fallen off. Du Yuanshan slapped a mirror into her son's hand, "Hold my magic mirror."

Seeing her left eye slightly red, Chen Che quickly took the mirror and set the phone aside.

Du Yuanshan glanced at the screen from the corner of her eye. "Hey, my precious son is secretly watching my fan videos?"

Chen Che corrected her, "He's my friend."

His mother squinted at him.

She gave birth to her son, and besides those few jerk childhood friends, how could this jerk have any other friends?

"You still say you're not in a relationship?"

Du Yuanshan glanced at the caption under the video. "You're Chinese? Mom knows this English phrase, 'Crowds of people.'"

It was similar to the English version of her "Work hard and make progress every day."

She peeked into the comments section and saw her son asking, "Are you stan Aria?"

Unable to understand the Tianshu, she pointed at Aria and, using her elementary school English, asked, "Who is this? The Avril Lavigne from Maple Leaf National Singing Rock?"

"Ms. Du, if I remember correctly, this is the English name your agent gave you." Chen Che smiled.

"Ahem..." Two fine lines appeared on the celebrity's delicate face, despite the eight-figure maintenance. Du Yuanshan shrugged, changing the subject. "So who is she?"

Chen Che: "An online friend."

"Are you dating online?"

"I said no."

Du Yuanshan: "Don't tell me it's a scam."

Chen Che's face fell. "Ms. Du Ziteng, he's a man."

With a bang— she stood up, and the bottles and jars on her lap fell to the ground.

Actress Du, always concerned about her image, said, "You like men?!"

Her left false eyelash drooped like a half-drawn curtain. Emotions continued to surge, stiffening her neck, and her face shifted between red and white. Never before had the dignified actress lost her composure.

Chen Che wanted to go back and slap himself, but he wasted his words. The setting sun filtered through the glass of the corridor bridge between the twin towers, casting piano-key-shaped shadows on the ground. A light rail train pulled into the station in the distance, a scene straight out of an anime.

— New glasses? 

— Stronger prescription? 

— Address. 

Netizen Brook sent three messages. 

She'd been busy working lately, and it was her fault for not maintaining their friendship—Brook, whose online name came with the jingling jingle bells, was her internet-spirited sister. 

Yoyolooping: I haven't bought one yet, mainly because I don't have the time. 

Having just paid tuition for next semester, she's so broke she can only trade her time for wages. 

The message disappeared two seconds after it was sent. 

Brook deleted several comments. 

What happened to her? 

Chi Leyou tilted her head, catching her friend's gaze: "Do you still remember Brook?" 

Friend: "Yeah, the stick figure on the women's basketball team?" That impression was truly profound. 

"Hey." Chi Leyou flicked her friend's forehead with her index finger, earning her an exaggerated cry. "It's not her fault she's tall. If you really want to trace it back, you can only blame her mother for choosing her father." 

Her friend's mind flashed to a scene of a utility pole next to a streetlight. 

Whoosh—the image flashed, and between two long, thin poles, the hairy tip of a bamboo shoot emerged. A spring rain had accelerated the growth of the young shoot, transforming it into a towering bamboo pole. 

"I was rehearsing for a Harry Potter play, and I wanted to invite her to see it, but she went skiing in Banff with her friends." 

"That's because she's been too active. Why are you feeling guilty?" The friend cupped her palms and gave her a "Return My Pretty Fist." 

The two girls slowly moved down the street. 

The setting sun seeped into this place that wasn't home. 

A long light rail line bisected the exotic streetscape, with buildings standing on either side like a Lego streetscape model. 

Chi Leyou pressed the pedestrian crossing button, and the traffic light across the street transformed from a red hand into a small green figure. The figure popped into her mind, walking, one, two, one, two, one, two. 

What if you're colorblind and want to cross the street? Can you still see the traffic light? She suddenly thought of Big Turkey, her part-time job partner. 

He'd just answered the phone, and the voice of a wealthy woman was clearly the sweet, sweet voice of a wealthy woman. 

He left without a proper goodbye. 

His job was even harder than hers; he had to show up as soon as his financial sponsor called. 

"It's my fault, too," Chi Leyou said, her green brain vanishing. "I was afraid my appearance would scare Brook. She's a girl, too. I hesitated for a moment, and she misunderstood." 

—Yoyolooping: My acting isn't good. 

—Brook: I'm not a professional actor, so it's great to be on stage. When are you performing? Can I come and see? 

—Yoyolooping: But my appearance is ugly. 

—Brook: No matter how ugly, it can't be as ugly as Voldemort. 

When they were discussing this point earlier, Chi Leyou hesitated. Voldemort was truly ugly. 

"Your school is also sick," a friend grumbled fiercely, "A soft girl plays Voldemort, and a black person plays Hermione." 

Chi Leyou nodded good-naturedly, "My face has been allergic for a month, and it's swollen like a pig's head."

"So Zhugan asked you out in person, and you turned her down. She got mad, and your lively chat froze."

After some analysis, the friend suddenly realized, "Oh, so you signed up for another account? You've been using Yoyolooping for so many years, and you suddenly switched to LeyouChi. So you and Zhugan are having a falling out?"

Chi Leyou's throat was choked with a dull sound.

A friend said, "She's a pretty good basketball player. The women's basketball team at the university next door is practicing, and Zhugan looks so handsome playing! If I were a man, I'd chase her."

"Pervert."

"You're so gender-specific, Youyou!"

Chen

Che took off his suit, showered, and changed into cotton loungewear.

Du Yuanshan, a shopping addict, even went so far as to splurge on his pajamas. The robes she bought were so flashy, he wore them once yesterday, and he'd already put them aside.

Du Yuanshan rescued the crimson robe from the trash. "Why did you throw it away? Mom bought you seven colors of the same style."

"Take it back home for Dad to wear," Chen Che said, his voice cold. "Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple. Let Dad wear it and cosplay you as the Calabash Brothers."

"You're disrespectful," Du Yuanshan chided softly. "My son is tall and handsome. He looks so stylish in a robe like this!"

Chen Che rolled his eyes. "I'm not a duck."

"Who said you were a duck?!" The word stung.

"Those paparazzi." Chen Che flipped through his phone's photo album. The trending search had long since been removed, but he had screenshots as evidence. "Want me to read it to you?"

"Alluring curves, thriving muscles, a certain A-list actress's hidden gem—"

"Stop!" Du Yuanshan buried her hands in her ears, refusing to listen.

He thought of Yoyolooping, the netizen he hadn't been able to meet in person.

He felt a sense of relief that he hadn't been seen.

If someone saw the paparazzi taking pictures and mistakenly thought he worked in a nightclub, their friendship would surely be shattered.

A silver-gray yo-yo popped up on his phone.

A certain online user, silent for a month, finally called him.

—Yoyolooping: Who's Aria?

It turns out she didn't know who Du Yuanshan was.

Indeed, Chen Che thought, many foreigners don't recognize Chinese actors, and Du Yuanshan still has a long way to go internationally.

Chen Che asked cautiously: "So what were you doing near the Pacific Mall? Just passing through?"

While waiting for the other party's message,

he teleported from the sofa to the backyard pool, then skirted around the pool and walked to the fountain in the center of the lawn.

Du Yuanshan, who was applying an eye mask, lifted one eye with her fingertip and looked over. "If this isn't a date, what is it? Could it really be a man..."

The gardener was testing the circulating water system.

Plop—water spurted from the naked cherub statue in the center of the fountain, and the setting sun deliberately cast a miniature rainbow above the water.

—Yoyolooping: Go cheep cheep~①

A grown man imitating a chicken? Chen Che didn't understand, but he respected it.

The chat finally heated up again, but he couldn't let a stupid question dampen it.

He asked a compromise question: Was it fun?

—Yoyolooping: I'm exhausted.

Chen Che tapped and swiped his fingers across the screen like a clumsy child scribbling on a canvas.

The other party's latest message beat him to the punch, this time a GIF.

A pale, ghostly face, its nose sunken into two black holes, looked vastly different from the Voldemort in the movies. It looked like the work of a poorly-educated liberal arts student who hastily transitioned to art.

—Yoyolooping: Is it ugly?

Chen Che pondered for a moment, then suddenly realized: Is this you?

So he's in a stage play, playing a villain in the wizarding world.

Chen Che zoomed in, scrutinizing "his" photo, trying to discern a glimmer of his true appearance from the villain.

—Brook: It's appallingly ugly, but that's Voldemort and the makeup artist's fault, not yours.

Chi

Leyou, who had moved to the dormitory, smiled contentedly as he said, "It's none of your business."

In reality, she wasn't afraid of Voldemort, but after applying her makeup, she was terrified by the ghostly image in the mirror.

The play's stark contrast spread widely throughout the school.

Instead of playing Zhang Qiu, the dark-haired Asian girl played Voldemort. This dramatic twist made Chi Leyou an instant hit on campus.

A passing senior whistled, "You know who!" But

there was more to the problem.

Chi Leyou didn't invite Brook to the play right away, missing the perfect opportunity for them to meet in person.

Then, a widespread allergic reaction spread across her face, forcing her to run back and forth between the dermatologist and the pharmacy.

This skin problem cost Chi Leyou two well-paying hourly jobs, and

the pressure on her life soared.

Fortunately, she had the support of her friends and the comfort of Brook.

—Yoyolooping: I earned a small fortune working part-time today. I'm happy.

—Brook: I was working part-time today, too.

Chi Leyou pursed her lips: "So she works part-time, too?"

The mysterious online friend she'd only met briefly finally felt like a real person.

At the same moment, Chen Che slammed into the two-meter-long bed. The mattress slowly rebounded, gently supporting his aching muscles.

It was his first time working, and his muscles were the first to give out.

—Yoyolooping: You actually work part-time? I've never heard of you.

—Brook: It's my first time, so I'm not very experienced.

—Yoyolooping: Then you've found the right person! I'm the ultimate part-time worker! Not only do I have the latest industry trends and a plethora of in-demand positions, I'm also full of work tips!

Those thin, small-denomination bills lay beneath the bedside smart clock.

Chen Che's lips curled up, pleased that he and his partner had finally connected properly.

As a "newcomer," Chen Che modestly asked, "Teacher Y

, please teach me some work tips." —Yoyolooping: The man I'm working with today is actually wearing a suit. This is the first time I've seen someone wearing small leather shoes to work. Isn't he tired? My eyes are tired for him. A qualified part-time worker needs comfortable work clothes.

Chen Che's eyes slid to the laundry basket, which contained a wrinkled handmade suit. He withdrew his gaze, feeling a little guilty for some reason...?