Chapter 9 Don’t Live in My Dreams Anymore
Many years later, I finally understood one thing: love cannot withstand repeated disappointments. It will go, it will disappear, and never come back.
Xiang Qianlan01
I suddenly found that he had unknowingly lived in my dream. After waking up, loneliness and helplessness eroded me bit by bit, and all the sad memories followed one after another.
I thought of my mother.
But my only relative is gone.
I thought of Qi Beichen and those scenes, and I couldn’t fall asleep anymore.
Every night, I can feel him in my dreams, galloping on my body. I want to forget, really want to forget, if time can go back, I would rather Qi Beichen never appeared in my life.
But I can’t forget… I can’t forget what happened…
The scars he left on my body made my fragile heart almost collapse. Xiang Qianlan had lost her armor and was as fragile as a dying insect.
Later, I thought about that day countless times and realized that I could have prevented it from happening.
First of all, I shouldn't have used Sun Nuofan to provoke him. When he was pulling me away, I could have kicked him, bit him, and held on to the door frame tightly to refuse to go in. Even if he pulled me in, I could have locked myself in the bathroom and called the police. I clearly had many ways to save myself, but I still let the worst result happen.
The funny thing is, there was no mark on the sheets after it happened.
This situation is quite common. Everyone's physical structure is different, so sometimes it's not as exaggerated as in the movies. But under the circumstances at the time, Qi Beichen clearly didn't believe me.
Why should I explain?
That day, I turned on the shower and faucet, gritting my teeth and crying in the bathroom . I didn't want to cry in front of him. I never wanted to expose my weaknesses in front of him again.
I started avoiding him.
Be it hatred or vengeance, just let it all go with the wind.
I just wanted to find a place to lick my wounds quietly, so I hurried back home and packed some clothes. I didn't want to stay in the rental house because Qi Beichen would definitely come to my house to find me.
Where can I go?
Sun Nuofan called me at this time. I sat on a bench next to a bus stop and said to him, "Can you please pick me up?"
I let go of all my defenses and strength, just hoping to go to a place where I wouldn't see Qi Beichen. Sun Nuofan drove over, and after he got out of the car, he looked at me with surprise, and the light in his eyes seemed to be much brighter.
When he came over, I fainted. He ran over, picked me up , and shouted over and over again: "Are you okay?" He held me anxiously, sent me to the hospital, and took care of me all night long.
When I woke up, Sun Nuofan looked at me a little strangely. I noticed that something was wrong with him, so I asked him, "What's wrong with you?"
"The doctor said that your body has suffered...injury..." He spoke very slowly, without saying any unpleasant words. His expression froze slightly, and then he asked carefully, "Do you need a lawyer?"
I lowered my head, feeling a little overwhelmed. After a long time, I told him, "Qi Beichen did it." After saying that, my tears started to flow again. I seemed to be becoming more and more annoying.
I cried so hard, Sun Nuofan hugged me and comforted me : "You still have me, you still have me, don't cry... I can't bear to see you cry, it hurts me..."
I don’t know since when, this man made me feel so secure, but I no longer have the energy to accept feelings from anyone else.
After I was discharged from the hospital, I moved back to the villa that Sun Nuofan arranged for me. My room was still intact, just like it was before I left. Sister Guan came to see me and said that I was disloyal and gave up my future willfully. I apologized with a smile.
During my stay here, Sun Nuofan tried his best to make me happy. He stayed with me during the day and started working under the desk lamp at night after I fell asleep. I had a poor appetite and could not eat anything, so Sun Nuofan cooked for me in different ways. He also downloaded videos from the Internet and learned how to cook those food that looked appetizing. I didn't want to disappoint him, so I would force myself to eat a little.
On the weekend, I was reading a book. Sun Nuofan brought out a plate of sweet and sour pork ribs and proudly asked me to try it. I stood up and picked up a piece with chopsticks: "Give it a passing score."
"So low? Don't you want to give me a reward?" He pointed at his face, and I slapped the book in my hand away.
I was a little surprised when Zhong Ling came to Sun Nuofan's house. She also brought a woman with her. The woman was wearing a blue hip-hugging miniskirt, heavy makeup, and two big earrings dangling from her ears. When she looked at me, her chin was raised proudly. I recognized her as Zhong Yuer, who was thinner in person than the photos in the news media.
Zhong Yuer, the woman who targeted me countless times.
After Zhong Yuer entered Sun Nuofan's house, the first thing she said was to me: "Oh, Nuofan, there is a beautiful girl hidden in the golden house."
"Who asked you to come?" Sun Nuofan said in a bad tone.
"Uncle and aunt, they are not satisfied with me, but they like Ling'er very much, and want me to help clean up the flies around you." Zhong Yuer threw her bag on the sofa, sat down like a hostess, crossed her legs and looked at us, "Since they both have spoken, I, as a sister, must be responsible for her life. Nuo Fan, Ling'er will marry into your Sun family, you won't wrong her, right?"
I could feel her deep hostility.
Sun Nuofan is in a complicated family interest situation. Zhong Yuer and Sun Nuofan had a scandal, but Zhong Ling won the favor of Sun Nuofan's parents. Moreover, the Zhong family has a good family background. If Zhong Yuer had not entered the entertainment industry, this good job would not have fallen on Zhong Ling.
When Zhong Ling saw me, she had a cold face at first, then she leaned towards Sun Nuofan and said to him coquettishly, "Brother Nuofan, my sister and I bought this specially for you. You used to like eating cakes of this flavor the most."
"You are not welcome here." Sun Nuofan pulled me upstairs, and Zhong Yuer stood up and blocked his way.
Zhong Yuer smiled and said, "At the very least, don't order us to leave so quickly. We haven't even had tea yet."
Sun Nuofan glanced at the kettle and tea leaves beside him: "Boil the water yourself. My place is not like Miss Zhong's house, where there are servants to serve me."
"Sun Nuofan, what's so good about this woman? She's skinny and has a dead face. You're obsessed with her—" "Yes, Brother Nuofan, Xiang Qianlan—"
"Get out!"
Before the two sisters of the Zhong family finished their performance, Sun Nuofan frowned and yelled, seriously retorting: "No matter how bad she is, the two of you combined can't even compare to her toes!"
"Sun Nuofan, what did you say!"
Before I could react, Sun Nuofan pulled me to the second floor and closed the door. He walked to the balcony of the sky garden and rubbed his eyebrows with his hands.
I remained silent.
I understand Sun Nuofan's thoughts, and he is sincere in being nice to me. I don't want him to quarrel with anyone else for me, and I don't want to trouble him anymore.
