Matters of the heart are like a debt owed in the previous life that needs to be repaid in this life.
For example, Song Jingyan likes Li Ye, Li Ye can't let me go, but I only have He Xubei in my heart. This is a debt owed from my previous life.
In my heart, He Xubei will always be the little prince in the white suit. I used to think that I was not good enough and it would be a blasphemy to even confess my feelings to him, so I could only look up to him quietly in my heart.
But before I became good enough, I didn't even have the chance to tell him that I liked him.
In the classroom, on the path in Xingfu Community, under the banyan tree... He Xubei's shadow can be seen everywhere.
The seats in the class were still changed every month, but He Xubei's seat never moved. I used to sit behind him and peek at him, even though I could only see the back of his head, but I never got tired of it. Later, he moved behind me, and I always felt that he was also watching me.
And now, when I looked back, He Xubei was still there. He was reading a book seriously, solving problems with his pen, and occasionally looking up to push up his glasses that had slipped down.
I know it's my illusion, but I stare at him and dare not blink, for I'm afraid he will disappear if I blink.
At that time, in order to follow He Xubei and go to school with him without being discovered by him, I was hiding and was even suspected of being a thief.
There was also the time when Yangguang and I were bullied, and he came over and said that he was a Taekwondo practitioner and scared off the thugs. Even though he said that he couldn't even kick out, so how could he know Taekwondo? But I was still intoxicated by his aura at that I was such a crazy fan of him.
On the day my father passed away, I think I would have collapsed if it weren't for him and Li Ye's company.
I thought I had too few memories about He Xubei and I, but now I know what it feels like to be "touched by the scene". It turns out that every bit of it is a memory, no matter whether it is good or bad.
A row of street lights downstairs in the community was broken these days. When I went home after self-study class, I had to walk a dark road. I walked carefully with the dim light of my mobile phone. Now I don’t like the darkness of the night, because a person in the dark will easily be eroded by loneliness.
When I was almost at the door of my house, I saw a bright light in front of me. There were many small LED lights on the wall next to the iron gate. When I got closer, I saw the three words "Sorry" were displayed.
I can guess who did it. Every night when I came back, there was a figure following me not too far away. I knew he was afraid of being unsafe and was protecting me along the way. When I glanced at him, he hid himself behind the shadow of the tree.
The sun was shining brightly on the weekend. I took off the quilt cover to wash it. Halfway through washing, the water pipe suddenly burst and water kept flowing out. I had never encountered such a situation before. My father had always handled it. I was so scared that I ran out quickly. When I opened the door, I saw Li Ye.
He seemed to have been standing at the door for a long time, looking very tired. When he saw me running out in panic, he asked me what was wrong.
I pointed inside: "The water pipe, the water pipe is broken!"
Li Ye ran in to turn off the sluice gate, and then bought a new water pipe to replace it. Seeing Li Ye busy and sweating, I felt a little sorry for him.
"Li Ye, you don't have to do this."
I know everything he did, but when I think of He Xubei, I still don’t know how to face him.
"Yi Ping'an, I don't beg you to forgive me." Li Ye looked at me with a tired look in his eyes. "I don't want to say anything more about He Xubei. I just hope you are well."
Looking at Li Ye’s leaving back, I didn’t know what to say.
I once thought that it might be unfair for me to treat Li Ye, but what could I do? I haven't learned to let go completely.