Chapter 8: Dust in the Flame 03
Lin Zhan and I stayed in Li City for four or five days to see Jiang Sijin off on her last journey.
Her life was so short, and the last one or two years were filled with more pain than happiness. I think perhaps only by leaving did she find true relief.
I didn't tell Ning Qiyuan the time we were going back. After I separated from Lin Zhan and Lin Xiang at the station, I took a taxi back to the apartment.
Ning Qiyuan had classes and was not in the apartment. The room was empty and filled with a depressing atmosphere.
I went straight back to my room, packed all my things, and planned to move back to the school dormitory.
I have always kept the dormitory location. I originally thought that if Ning Qiyuan and I had a quarrel one day, I could go back and sleep there.
"Tong Shuchen, what are you doing?" Suddenly a voice came, carrying boundless anger.
I looked up and met Ning Qiyuan's gaze.
He rushed into the room, pulled me up from the ground, and even kicked my suitcase away. He stared at me and asked again, "Are you moving out?"
"Yes." I answered him without hesitation.
This is something I had already thought about a few days ago. The guilt and self-blame I felt towards Jiang Sijin made it impossible for me to continue facing him.
"I won't let you, do you hear me? I won't let you leave me!" Ning Qiyuan grabbed my wrist tightly, with such force that it seemed to crush my bones.
"I'm not leaving you, I just want to move back to the dormitory." I didn't want to argue with him, so I explained in a soft voice.
"Is there still room for you in the dormitory?" he asked me.
"Of course." I took a deep breath and looked at him straight in the eyes. "Qi Yuan, I'm not a child. I have the right to make my own choices. If you don't want me to get depressed, let me go and let me move back to the dormitory, because here, I'm already a little breathless."
Ning Qiyuan looked at me with pain in his eyes, then he let go of my hand and let me continue packing my things. Then he dragged the box out of his apartment, as if walking out of his world.
Since I moved into his apartment, I haven't been back to the girls' dormitory.
I dragged my suitcase back to the door of the dormitory where I used to live. I heard laughter coming from inside and pushed the door open without thinking.
The laughter stopped abruptly, and all the girls inside looked at me and the suitcase I was dragging.
I looked at their surprised faces, then looked at the bed where I used to sleep. The bed was made very cleanly, and there was a computer and some books on the desk under the bed. I was stunned for a moment.
The girls looked at each other and walked towards me.
"Shuchen, are you going to move back here?"
"The bed you slept in is already occupied..."
"Why don't you go and see the dormitory supervisor to see if there are any extra beds in other dormitories?"
I listened to their words and suddenly understood.
Dormitory beds in our school have always been a bit tight, otherwise Ning Qiyuan would not have chosen to live in the dormitory building when he transferred here.
Even so, I still held on to a glimmer of hope and went to see the dormitory supervisor, but in the end I got a disappointing result.
There was no room in the dormitory, and I didn't want to live with Ning Qiyuan anymore. It seemed like I had nowhere to go except to stay in a small hotel near the school.
I sat on the lawn near the dormitory building, dragging my luggage, feeling so tired that I had no strength left.
I closed my eyes and tried not to look at the figures passing by. Suddenly, I felt as if I was the only one left in this boundless world.
I had no father, no mother, no siblings, and I had lost even my best friend, and the one person I loved… made me feel miserable.
This feeling of being abandoned by the whole world made me feel desperate and almost cry.
At this moment, I felt a dark shadow passing by in front of me. I opened my eyes suddenly and saw Ning Qiyuan pulling my suitcase and reaching out to hold my hand.
"You go back to the apartment and I'll move out." Ning Qiyuan lowered his head and looked at me, saying calmly.
I tried to pull my hand out, but he held it tighter. I frowned and said, "I don't..."
"Can you please stop being stubborn?" Ning Qiyuan said again, "Don't worry, as long as you don't let me go back, I won't go back. If you don't want to see me, I won't let you see me until you open up your heart and are willing to forgive me."
"how about you?"
As if seeing that I had compromised, Ning Qiyuan's eyes softened, and he pulled me up from the grass, and walked towards the apartment while saying, "Will I still have no place to live? Don't worry about me."
I understood that he was not like me and no longer had a home.
When we were almost at the apartment, I asked him about Uncle Ning for the first time. I asked him, "Can you tell me who killed Uncle Ning?"
Ning Qiyuan was a little surprised. He looked at me in amazement for a long time, then said, "I don't want you to get involved in these things. When everything is settled, I will tell you everything."
He didn't want to say, so I stopped asking.
When we returned to the apartment, Ning Qiyuan helped me put my things away and then went back to his room to get a few things.
Before leaving, he hugged me and whispered in my ear, "When I'm not around, take good care of yourself, eat on time, sleep on time, and don't let me worry. Once you want to see me, tell me immediately, and I will come to you as quickly as possible. Shuchen, whether you are angry with me or annoyed with me because of Jiang Sijin's matter, don't even think about leaving me in this life."
I closed my eyes and nodded.
Facing him, I just couldn't harden my heart completely.
Apart from him, no one else in this world can give me such warmth.
